One Thing After Another

In the first time for a long time, I woke up happily with my alarm. Not feeling as lost as the other many mornings I woke up feeling isolated. I could tell my family were on the edge of worry as to whether I was really okay about the night before.
Running out and all…
Lazily walking out of my room with my eyes closed, I scratched the back of my head. Heading into the kitchen, I past the dining table seeing things already set out. A plate standing out from the rest with it’s pastel colours. My morning eyes having to blink a couple times before I could make out clearly what it was.
“Mum,”
“Hm?”
“Why are their mochi on the table spot where I usually sit?” Questioning my mum’s sudden attempt to make my breakfast sweet. She looked up to make quick eye contact before looking back towards the dishes she was preparing.
“Oh well, you know…” She mumbled off to herself. I walked into the kitchen the early morning sun hitting my skin through the windows, looking at what she was making, deciding to chip in. My mum always woke up earlier than anyone in the house, figuring this out I woke up early too to help her.
“Yes,” I said encouraging her on as I grabbed different ingredients from around the kitchen draws and cupboards, putting them next to mum on the counter. Leaning on my right hand, looking and waiting for an answer.
“I just, didn’t want you to have bad start to the day,” she paused in her cooking as she spoke. I looked at her sideview. Her petite nose and her brown hair always tied back into a ponytailI. I smiled as I gave thanks in silence for the luck I had to have been chosen by such a loving women. I slowly made my back behind her to hug her from behind, wrapping my arms around her warm torso and resting my head on her back.
“Thank you,” I whispered as I closed my eyes for a second.
“No need for thank you honey, go and eat!” I felt a hand rub the top of my hand. I let go and sat down at the table. I looked at the pastel coloured mochi in my bowl, deciding on one. The chocolate one. Nibbling happily, I almost forgot about my worries.

I walked over to the dorm as the weather was beautiful. A clear sky and very few clouds. So I wore a playsuit to match the weather. It’s a pity I wasn’t going out today, but I had a movie to look forward to with Dino.
Clutching either side of my backpack’s straps, I made it to the dorm building, seeing the vans gone from their usual parking spot out back. I made my way up the stairs to the fifth floor where Dino was waiting in the dorm. As I unlocked the door, and stepped inside I heard a scuffle of feet across the floor. Looking down to take my shoes off, I gasped in surprise when Dino appeared in front of me with a huge smile. The corner of my mouth instinctively rising into a curve as I finished taking off my shoes.
“Good morning~” he sang in english. I giggle escaped my mouth as I replied back to him. I was still so confused about how I had managed to feel so close to two boys at the same time. Following behind him, I threw my bag onto the couch as my eyes rested on the food set up on the coffee table.
“What is all this?” I smiled at it thinking of the possibility of this being made by him. I looked across each beautiful dish as it had both sweet and savoury foods. There was nibbly food but also staple food like rice and kimchi included. It was so nice, I wondered what the occasion was.
“I can’t cook… the hyungs know that but I tried, for you,” Chan stood next to me as he occasionally gestured to the food followed by a cutely awkward scratch of the back of his neck. I both wished he wouldn’t do this kind of gesture but also wished he would do this everyday for me. So I could spend days like this with him.
“Chan, did you make this?” I pointed at the food and looked at Dino for confirmation. One look at Dino and I could tell he was nervous. His widened eyes, his slightly gaping mouth, he’s not usually nervous about much. How endearing it was...
“Well Minggyu hyung helped me out, but at least 70% of it was me,” he said with all honesty and a little bit of hiccups in his sentence.
“This is amazing Channie! I don’t deserve so much!” I knelt down beside it all to have a closer look, feeling guilty and thinking of Hoshi as well.
“You deserve a lot more Eunnie,” he said softly with a small smile, kneeling down with me. We both looked from the food to each other simultaneously. Catching his eyes I can never look away without appreciating them. Their dark brown colour swallowed me in, making me think about how much I needed to make right of this situation. Seeing my change in expression, Dino changed the topic, “you like superhero movies?”
“Have you chosen a film for us already?” Already surprised at the food, the fact that he prepared a movie was beyond what I thought this day would be like. He stood up as I talked, and turned the television on, grabbing the case of a DVD.
“Will Spiderman suffice?” He flashed the DVD cover at me. I gasped.
“Did you know Spiderman is my favourite?” I looked at him in surprise as I grabbed a snack off the table.
“No I just guessed and got lucky,” he said with a smile and a laugh as he placed the DVD into the player beside the television. I stared at his back as he began to get the movie started, wondering why I couldn’t stay away from him. I should feel guilty about this, knowing Hoshi may be suspicious, but I couldn’t.

The knees of our crossed legs touching, we watched the movie. “This is my favourite scene!” I exclaimed when Spiderman was jumping across the city, first beginning to learn his powers. I leaned forward to watch it, even though I had seen it many times. I heard a hushed giggle behind me. I whipped my head to look at Dino, seeing him covering his hand covering his obviously smiling mouth. My own lips slowly peeling back across my face.
“Why are you laughing?!” I laughed out as I leaned back and hit his arm softly.

BUZZ.

Just the sight of his name on my phone sent my heart dropping. I looked across to Dino. Seeing his eyes on my phone, he looked up at me nervously. I breathed deeply, eyes still on Chan’s as I tapped the answer button reluctantly. I stood up form the couch and walked around to the kitchen, in hope of drowning out the conversation from Dino’s reach. “Hello Uncle,” I said in my most optimistic voice possible. My other hand on my necklace fumbling as I do.
“Haeun. I was going to call you into my office but I heard you were busy with managing the boys,” my Uncle starting out strong as he does. Always business, everything.
“I’ve been looking after Dino, trying to keep my name away from the news,” I said as I felt slightly guilty. I’d been basically blackmailed into this by Dohyun sunbae, and I wasn’t keen to let my Uncle who already doubts me know I screwed up by hurting Dino.
“I have some good news. The news about you and Hoshi has calmed down,” with optimism in his voice, my heart, if it couldn’t go any further, went as deep down as it could go in my gut. Saying yes to Hoshi made me feel guilty. I knew it wouldn’t be easy going out with him, but I couldn’t the fact that keeping this from my Uncle would be extremely difficult.
“That’s a relief,” I said in a monotone voice, trying not to sound guilty. I started to pace around the back of the couch. I could see Dino out of the corner of my eye notice me start to pace.
“Bad news, the fans are not liking you being their manager.” He was quick to the point, making me realise there was only good news in front of the bad news because this bad news was a lot bigger than the good, “They don’t think you’re taking this job seriously.” As I exhaled all my hope had left my body. I could feel my body getting weaker. Something was crawling up my throat. “Haeun, I really want you to have a good career in managing. Something like this can make or break whether you are accepted by the industry.” Again he was back to business. I wanted to do well but was it for my well-being? Or the well-being of my Uncle's company? My breath now shuddering slightly every time I exhaled.
“So what I leave Seventeen?” I said with tears choking my words. Over hearing the conversation, Dino flicked his head towards me when he heard Seventeen. With the phone up to my ear, I look over to meet his eyes from across the room on the couch. His face full of sudden worry.
“Possibly. If you don’t keep this clean Haeun, for the sake of your career in this company, I’ll pull you out.” He really did sound like he was worried over the situation even over the phone. I stared at a wall, feeling a tear stroll down my cheek slowly and almost calmly, contradicting the thunder of thoughts and emotions going through my head.
“I don’t want to do this anymore!” I almost shouted out with my eyes clenched closed.
“What?”
“Uncle, it’s making me miserable! I love these guys! I enjoy managing but not when you come in and decide things on your own. I know you want what’s best for me, Uncle, but I need space!” Pulling the phone away from my ear I angrily ended the call with a erected finger. I shoved the phone in my pocket, out of the corner of the my eye I realised Chan was standing up now. Realising what I’d done and what this could mean for the future, my heart stopped for a moment before continuing to rage on. I sunk down with my head into my knees and my arms wrapped around them. Choking on my own cries and tears I felt warm hands slowly rubbing my back. I hated letting Chan see me this way. I was supposed to be the mature one. The one to look after him… but it always ended up being me who was comforted.
“You’re leaving us?” Chan’s voice sounding a little choked up himself.
“I don’t want to,” I quivered out through my cries and into my knees.
Just like the day I was trampled by the crowd in front of the Pledis building, I cried for a while, with Dino still there.

Notes

yO ya boi is back
jk its just for this chapter...
this chapter is kind of explaining the day that led up to Haeun's Uncle calling her, so if you didn't understand this, maybe read the one before..? idek
i'm tired
imma go study now bai fam
thanks for you loyal readers, shout outs to uuuzzz