One Thing After Another

Walking slowly back from meeting Chan, his words played in my head. My heart thumping against my chest, trying to escape. My face emotionless as I tried to figure out why I was so worked up over this.

“My name always seems a lot nicer when you’re saying it.”

My cold cheeks suddenly warming up at the thought of his face inches away from mine. I clenched my head and ran the rest of the distance home, closing the door behind me dramatically, causing my mother to race to the door. Her head appearing around the corner of the door frame, “Eunnie where did you go so suddenly?!” She grabbed me by my forearm and dragged me to the dining room table, where I found my entire family sitting there. My mother sitting down as I kept standing looking at each of them in curiosity. Dinner had finished, there were no dishes or plates out. Why were they all still here? “Eunnie sit down.” With my mother’s calming voice, I followed her directions. They all stared at me as I sat, the only sound was my heavy breathing as I was still puffed from running home.
“Why are you all here?” I asked in a quiet voice, feeling slightly embarrassed for acting the way I did before barging out the house. I grab my necklace in nervousness.
“Why’d you leave so suddenly like that, Noona?” Sanghoon said from across the table in a demanding voice, with his arms crossed.
“You should at least let us know where you’re going!” Seokwoo, my other younger brother echoed out with his eyebrows furrowed. I blinked at their responses, wondering why they were so worked up about it.
“S-sorry,” I shyly replied feeling a little stupid for acting that way in front of them. I was their big sister, what kind of example had I set acting that way?
“We were all just worried that something could have happened to you, that’s all,” my dad calmly said, as he sat next to me. Looking into his eyes for a moment, it calmed me down almost immediately, instead bringing up the sensation of a cry slowly crawling up my throat.
“I went out to,” I started to explain myself slowly, deciding midway whether to tell them about Dino, “clear my thoughts… I was way over the line last time."
“My daughter, don’t you worry about being like everyone else,” Mother said as she swaddled her arm around my shoulder, soothing my small cries by rubbing. Looking into her eyes I could see the sincerity behind her words. “You are beautiful just the way you are. And if you don’t want to look for your parents, that’s fine by me.” My father purposefully coughing into a fist looking at my mother. Everyone’s looking his way. “And your father,” she added. My brothers then joining in by coughing obnoxiously, ”and your brothers.” Unknowingly, a little smile had formed on my face at the sight of my odd family that I realised I did really love. I was lucky to be in the situation I was in, who knows what kind of situation my birth parents had at the time of my birth?
“Thank you guys, you should all go to bed though,” I said through a small laugh.
“Who are you to tell us what to do?” Folding his arms to look superior, Seokwoo got a swift hit behind the head from my mother after saying that. A smile popped on my face as it always does when my brothers got told off like this.
“Who are you to talk to your Noona like that?” Mum looked at Seokwoo with her eyebrows furrowing slightly. I laughed even more at how mum defended me before I had even thought of telling Seokwoo off myself. "Everyone should go to bed,” my mother almost echoing me seeing everyone separate their own ways. Before I went back to my room, I squeezed my mum and dad tight in a hug and playfully swung my arm around my brother’s shoulders.

Softly closing my room’s door. I plopped myself on the edge of my bed, seeing the tissues that lay all around the bed, causing me to remember Dino’s face in such detail that my heart sped up a little. I breathed in and out slowly, hoping for it to have effect on my fast heartbeat. I stood up again deciding to try and distract my thoughts from Chan, and have a shower.
My hair finally dried, I sat with my legs crossed in my bed, looking at my phone’s clock.
10:30pm
I opened up my messages wondering if texting Hoshi this late would wake him.
Eunnie: Sleep well Hoshi~! Hope this doesn’t wake you…
I sent the text off and sighed as I pulled my thick duvet cover over me and settled into still silence letting sleep and warmth consume me slowly. My nightstand started to suddenly vibrate. My eyes popping open in surprise. I sat up reluctantly and grabbed my phone seeing the contact name beam at me: "Soonyoung-Oppa”
I gasped a little, swiping to answer the call quickly.
“Oppa?” I questioned if it was actually him since the last call I made with him, wasn’t actually with him.
“Eunnie~” His sung out through the phone in a whisper. From that I could tell that he was trying to not wake the other members sleeping around him. "Did you know we have half a day off the day after tomorrow?”
"I’m your manager oppa, of course I knew. Why’d you call so late at night? You need sleep with your busy schedule,” I said putting my manager hat on naturally.
"Wanna do something?” Even whispering, you could hear the excitement in his voice. I could almost picture his face saying it.
“Huh?” I questioned him, excited by the topic of something other than work and school.
“On our free day,” he continued. I looked up at the Seventeen poster across my room on the wall, specifically at Hoshi. I always forgot how surreal it was to be close to these idols I listened to and admired.
"What did you have in mind?” I crossed my legs under my duvet.
“I wanted to go to the park but I realised we might be spotted,” his voice filled with slight disappointment. I made a sound of disappoint back, as I was reminded of the issue. We sat there in silence for a minute before he piped up again, “ah! I know! The rooftop!”
I frowned slightly, but then realised it was a great idea, “yeah, that’s actually not a bad idea!” I heard him giggle back cutely sounding proud of his idea.
“Okay so we’ll meet up there around 12?” He said still whispering.
“Sounds good,” I agreed, smiling and nodding although he couldn’t see me.
“Sweet dreams Eunnie!” He wished me, making me smile even more.
“You too Soonyoung-oppa,” I rang out quietly into the phone before releasing is away from my ear and ending the call. I sighed a little as I looked at the phone in my lap.
Quickly I tucked myself into bed once again, staring at the ceiling and wondering…
What movie Chan and I were going to watch tomorrow?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Just the sight of his name on my phone sent my heart dropping. I breathed deeply tapping the answer button reluctantly. “Hello Uncle,” I said in my most optimistic voice possible. My other hand on my necklace fumbling as I do. I walked away from Chan and the table of food, so he didn’t have to hear the conversation.
“Haeun. I was going to call you into my office but I heard you were busy with managing the boys,” my Uncle starting out strong as he does. Always business, everything.
“I’ve been looking after Dino, trying to keep my name away from the news,” I said as I felt slightly guilty. I’d been basically blackmailed into this by Dohyun sunbae, and I wasn’t keen to let my Uncle who already doubts me know I screwed up by hurting Dino.
“I have some good news. The news about you and Hoshi has calmed down,” with optimism in his voice, my heart, if it couldn’t go any further, went as deep down as it could go in my gut. Saying yes to Hoshi made me feel guilty. I knew it wouldn’t be easy going out with him, but I couldn’t the fact that keeping this from my Uncle would be extremely difficult.
“That’s a relief,” I said in a monotone voice, trying not to sound guilty. I started to pace around the back of the couch. I could see Dino out of the corner of my eye notice me start to pace.
“Bad news, the fans are not liking you being their manager.” He was quick to the point, making me realise there was only good news in front of the bad news because this bad news was a lot bigger than the good, “They don’t think you’re taking this job seriously.” As I exhaled all my hope had left my body. I could feel my body getting weaker. Something was crawling up my throat. “Haeun, I really want you to have a good career in managing. Something like this can make or break whether you are accepted by the industry.” Again he was back to business. I wanted me to do well but was it for my well-being? Or the well-being of his company? My breath now shuddering slightly every time I exhaled.
“So what I leave Seventeen?” I said speaking up with tears choking my words. Over hearing the conversation, Dino flicked his head towards me when he heard Seventeen. With the phone up to my ear, I look over to meet his eyes from across the room on the couch. His face full of sudden worry.

Notes

hello all again!
hoping everyone's enjoying what ever they've got in life
try to look at the positives (author-nim is quite a negative person don't be like that children)
updates are really slow and i'm sorry about that, i've done that thing again where i'm like "yeah i'm up for that"
when really i could just take a DAMN break
oh well
yolo