One Thing After Another

I got home around 5pm, running into the lounge and diving onto the couch. I stared at the ceiling, with Hoshi’s every word playing in my head.
I said yes.
It was worth a try I thought. I liked him and he liked me. I smiled to myself feeling my heart still beating quickly. My first boyfriend was Hoshi, a guy who’s poster I had up in my room. Though my job was put second for once, I didn’t mind. All my teenage life I’ve never allowed myself much freedom. The least I could do was this. I brought out my phone, opening up my messaging app, remembering I forgot to say goodbye to Dino.
Eunnie: I didn’t even get to say goodbye to you Channie! ToT
I typed away happily pressing send and looked up at the ceiling again.
1, 2, 3.
I checked my phone for a reply, which I usually get straight away from him, but not today. I frowned slightly at the screen. Counting to three once more but there was nothing. I sat up staring at my phone anticipating his reply. Finally it buzzed and appeared.
Channie: It’s okay, you were held up with Soonyoung-hyung
As soon as he mentioned Hoshi’s name I sighed at the message feeling stuck as to how to reply. I softly threw my phone across the sofa, turning on my side with my legs curled up, resting my head on my arms. I was feeling so happy just a moment ago, why did he make me feel so annoyed all of a sudden?
“Eunnie,” my mum’s familiar warm voice rang out. I sat up seeing both my parents heading for the sofa across from the one I was sitting at.
“Ooo, you’re in trouble Noona,” my brother Sanghoon sang as he walked past the living room to the kitchen, likely about to invade the fridge of it’s content. I gave his back an evil look hoping he could feel it. I never got a talking to by my parents, but with the recent drama with Hoshi and I, a little part of me worried they were really going to tell me off.
“Sanghoon, don’t you dare touch those rice cakes!” My mum ordered from her seat on the sofa, pointing a raging finger towards the kitchen. I sighed looking at my Dad. He shot me back a little reassuring smile. My Dad was always the calm against the storm. I remember as a child hearing Mum complain to my Dad about work and the sometimes annoying people there. He would always reply in the calmest voice reminding her of the big picture.
I grabbed my phone staring at the message Dino had sent, trying to decipher what he meant by that. Maybe I was reading too much into it…
“Don’t worry Eunnie, you’re not in trouble,” Mum said calming down her voice form shouting at Sanghoon.
“Your mother and I have noticed how hard this year has been on you, especially in the office,” my Dad said with a soft smile. My parents holding hands as if telling me this was worrisome. It made me worry. What was so important they had to sit down to tell me? They’re usually off doing work.
“Your Uncle hasn’t been the nicest to you either. I mean, why does he have to be so-“ My Mum started off against, complaining about her brother.
“Calm down dear, you know he means well,” my father patted down his hand on mum’s.
“Sorry but what is this all about?” I said to get back to the unknown subject.
“We thought you could start looking for your parents. Your family,” Dad explained clearly with my Mum watching for my reaction. A surge of emotions ran through my stomach like a strong gust of wind pulling and pushing me. Spinning my insides making me angry. I looked down into at my phone with Dino’s message staring back at me. Silence ran throughout the house. Even Sanghoon stopped foraging the fridge to eavesdrop on the conversation.
“Why now?” I said quietly into the silence, my emotions crawling up my throat slowly. I looked at my parents to see their sad looking expressions. It’s like they knew I was going to react this way. “Why not before I got into this mess?” I raised my voice as the emotions began pouring out my mouth and eyes. I gripped my phone tightly looking into my lap angrily. “What if I don’t want to find them at all? I mean they didn’t want me,” I stood up in a rage.
“Eunnie!” My mum stood up too. I looked at them wondering why they’d even adopted me. Why anyone would.
“I’m right though aren’t I?!” I replied after a while, feeling warm streak of a tear roll down my cheek. Without another word to fit in, I walked into my room, closing the door behind me, and stumbling onto my bed where I wept more. I was 18 now, and yet I hadn’t thought of looking for my parents as something I wanted to do. I’d been treated like an outsider my whole life and curled up on my bed, those moments flashed through my head. The moment I questioned my mother why I looked so different from the kids at school. The moment when I sat by myself at lunch on my first day at school.
My existence when I was young felt like a mistake.
Grabbing tissues from my bedside I sat up and blew my nose loudly still sobbing intensely. I needed a shoulder to cry on… and I couldn’t go to my family. Not when the reason I was crying was because of their relation to me.
Hoshi.
Hoshi always made me feel better. I grabbed my phone with tears blurring my vision. I clicked into my contacts, messily finding his and pressing the call button. I slowly pulled my phone up to my ear, hearing the call dialling through.
“Hello?” A voice rang through. I opened my mouth to reply realising this voice wasn’t Hoshi’s.
“Dino?” I stuffily said through tears.
“Are you crying?” He said with worry in his voice.
“Where’s Hoshi?” I questioned him not answer him.
“Can you tell me why you’re crying first?” He ignored me back.
“CHAN-AH!” I shouted into my phone with my eyes squeezed shut. With silence on the other side of the phone, I continued, “I’m sorry. I just need to talk to someone right now,” I rested my forehead in my hand.
“Where do you live?” His voice sounding serious now. I’d never heard this sort of tone from him.
“About ten minutes from your dorm, why?” I said in curiosity.
“Wait there, I’ll be there soon,” he said in a husky tone making me pause in admiration.
“Dino, no. Your leg is not better. As a manager I’m telling you, you are not allow-,” I said in my best stern voice I could while crying. I can’t believe he was trying to leave the dorm.
“I’m not leaving the dorm to see my manager, I’m leaving to see my upset friend,” he replied. I paused after he said that, feeling my heart speed up. He wasn’t going to give up on seeing me, and that meant something to me. “I’ll meet you at the park,” The sound of the phone hanging up rang and my eyes widened. He was actually coming. I stood up out of surprise looking around my room with tear filled eyes wondering what to do. Grabbing my purse and a jumper from my closet I ran out the door with my mum’s voice echoing out behind me. Thinking of Dino with his bad leg, my heart hurt a little. How could he do this?

Running in the cold evening made my nose and ears lose their heat. Closing up to the park, I scanned the playground and benches. Seeing his familiar back of the head I sprinted towards it.
“Chan you’re actually insane,” I said running up to him sitting at the park bench. I looked down at his sore leg, examining it with short breath.
“It’s fine Eunnie, I’m more worried about you,” he said patting down the bench space next to him. I suddenly realised how embarrassing I’d looked to him just sobbing my eyes out across the phone to him. And how swollen my eyes must of looked right now. I grabbed my jumper’s long sleeves as I sat down next to him. He looked at me with anticipation. Fumbling with my jumper sleeves I looked at him seeing the concern in his eyes. A smile peeled up across his face slowly, “what happened?” He blinked slowly showing me it was okay for me to tell him. I breathed in and out deeply building up the courage to say something back.
“My parents said I could start looking for my real family,” I said in a rush. I looked to my right to see Chan’s reaction, hoping I didn’t say it too quickly. My heartbeat racing in anticipation of his every word.
“Wow,” he said slowly looking around the park. I looked down at the bench seeing our hands almost touching.
“Yeah it’s… overwhelming to say the least,” I continued, looking across the park too at the swings. I wondered how weird I must look to him right now.
“You ever thought of looking for them?” Dino asked carefully.
“Not really. My only goal in life is to fit in. Plus I thought they hated me, why else would they give me away?” I found myself letting go and telling Dino all my thoughts on my adoption. I looked down at my legs swinging off the bench.
“You don’t know that,” he replied softly. I looked back up to him, my heart speeding up as soon as I came in contact with his eyes. I was trying to surpress my feelings that grew for Dino, maybe coming here wasn’t such a good idea. I felt such an obligation though, as his manager, for his well-being. At least that’s what I was trying to believe. “Their situation could have been bad when you were born.” I pried my eyes off him before I could be pulled closer to him. He was right. I never thought of their circumstance. I just needed someone to blame for my problems.
“I just wish I had a superpower right now,” I said with a sigh into the night sky.
“Superpower?” He questioned the sudden change in topic.
"Invisibility, obviously,” I explained.
"I would have gone with strength myself, but why invisibility?” He shared his opinion, going along with the random subject.
"So no one notices me,” I said feeling slight happiness speaking those words, “I could just… disappear,” a smile almost appear on my face as I looked back out into the night sky. The stars shiny brightly, instead I focussed on the the darkness that surrounded it. I envied it. I wanted to be part of the night sky too.
"Haeun, you shouldn't be hidden,” Dino almost hummed out, his voice saying my name ringing in my ear on repeat. I looked back at him to see his face full of curiosity and sympathy. My heart speeding up and breath shortening.
"Why not? I mean, everyone would stop paying attention to me,” I breathed out quietly, wondering why I was here again.
"What about me?” He pointed to his chest. I frowned slightly in confusion. "I want to be able to see you.” His lower lip showing more and more as he talked. My heart hiccupped a little a smile appeared on my face. I even laughed a little. My ears and nose feeling warmer. “I’m sure Soonyoung hyung would agree with me,” he followed up with an odd smile on his face, as he looked into his lap.
He mentioned his name again. Just when we were having a nice moment. The real wonder was why I cared so much. My smile faded slowly off my face.
I stood up slowly, “I should get you back to the dorm. Dohyun sunbae is going to kill me if he knows you left the dorm to see me,” I pulled at my jumper’s sleeves feeling annoyed.
“I’ll deal with him, you go home,” Dino blinked at me slowly.
“Chan-ah, as your manager,” I retaliated in a stern tone. Opening my mouth to continue, Chan pulled me by my arm, connecting our torsos together. His hand firmly holding my waist. Closing the gap between our faces. I looked up in surprise to see his eyes glossy, with a look of need in them.
“My name always seems a lot nicer when you’re saying it,” he grinned at me. Short-breathed, I stared at him for a bit, wondering why I wasn't pushing him away. Not replying, he continued in a wide grin, “my leg is feeling better already Eunnie. Don’t stress, go home and rest. I’ll see you tomorrow!” With that, he released his grip and walked backwards waving. In my trance of thinking, heart still racing, I nodded slowly. He smiled once more before turning the corner around the block and walking with his hands in his jumper’s pockets.
I stood there for what felt like seconds but when I checked my phone, five minutes passed. Channie’s face like an image in my mind, flashing past me.
I was just standing there wondering…
How did this happen?
How have I fallen for him when I accepted another?

Notes

I have mock exams coming up guysss save mE
so yeah the next chapter (fuck i always say this) will be late (as usual)
hope this story still makes sense to everyone and you're enjoying it!
try to see the positives in this shitty life ;) wow i'm so emo
k bai