New Beginnings

I wake up and the first thing I do is look in the mirror. My eyes are swollen and I have big black bags. I found it really hard to sleep last night, even after taking those pills. I kept having nightmares of Sunggyu, no matter where I went he was there. It’s 8:00am and I have plenty of time until the group meeting. I feel like calling Myungsoo to cancel but staying at home avoiding people won’t help. Plus it’ll be good to go out and get some fresh air taking my mind of everything. After eating my breakfast I slowly get ready still thinking of that poor dog. I don’t understand how sick someone can be to stoop so low. Was the dog already dead? Or worse, did he kill the dog? And to put Woohyuns coat on it! ‘Ahhh chinch!’ I shout to myself while scruffing my hair. I want to stop thinking about him but I just can’t. I don’t know whether I should confront him or act like nothing happened. But I heard footsteps so he knows I was there. ‘Aghhhh’ I shout again jumping onto my bed. ‘How did he get my number?’ I say out load to myself standing up. I run to my phone and look up the number but can’t find anything. I don’t know if I should go straight to the police and tell them. Surely this type of behavior isn’t expectable, even for Sunggyu. I write the number down onto a sticky note and leave it on my dressing table next to my makeup. Half of me wants to ring it while the other half wants to stay well away, I have no idea what Sunggyu will do next. He really just might kill me. Now I know why everyone is scared of him, Sunggyu isn’t a joke. I shake my head and put my phone on charge while I get ready. I pull out my light blue high waist jeans and white blouse. I tie my hair up into a bun and take out my white converses. I get my bag that I packed yesterday and head out. I’m still early for the meeting but staying inside is getting to stuffy.

After waiting for 10 minutes the bus finally arrives and thankfully its empty. I sit right at the back where I can see everyone; I’m still very scared. I put my headphones in and turn my music up; I’m so tired I feel like I’ll fall asleep. Although I spoke to Woohyun last night I still feel troubled. I need to see him but he’ll know something is wrong if I ask to meet. I decide to wait and be content with the phone call we had, I guess I’ll just have to wait till school or if I’m lucky he’ll come by the minimarket tomorrow when I work, he usually does. I want to talk to someone about what happened but I don’t trust anyone. Seo yeon practically left me, Woohyun is already in danger, I can’t risk anything happening to Myungsoo, my parents would make me come on the first flight back to England and my friends in the UK don’t even call me anymore. The only person I have left is Ahjumma but how can I say that her grandson is in danger because of me?

I can do this I know I can. I’ve been through so much worse. I won’t run back home, I’ll stay this year and no one will be hurt. I’ll make my parents proud and will show my ‘friends’ that I don’t need them. To be honest, with all the bad that’s happing to me here I’ve actually really fallen in love with South Korea and begin to miss it whenever I think about going back home.

The bus finally comes to a stop and I get off. There’s still an hour till the meeting. The cafe Myungsoo choose look really nice. I can’t wait for everyone to come but for now I walk around the streets of Seoul. There are so many stands here, people selling odd things. A little girl sits there with her brother. They’re selling flowers that they’ve made from recycled metal. They see me looking and hold the flower up to me. I walk over intrigued.

‘Did you make this?’ I ask bending down.

‘Ye’ they reply looking at each other. Clearly shocked a foreigner knows Korean.

‘I study here’, I say trying to build a conversation. They both just smile at me.

‘Can I have a flower please, actually I’ll take two no actually three?’

‘Three? Ye ye,’ the girl replies smiling. I hand over the money and give them a little extra. I see their eyes light up.

‘Gamsahabnida, jeongmal gamsahabnida,’ they say bowing and smiling. I wave goodbye and carry on walking.

There’s half an hour till the meeting and I’m beginning to get impatient. I keep getting odd stares from people and am beginning to feel uncomfortable. Woohyun always warns be about travelling alone and that’s what I’m doing. I wish he were here. I take out my phone and call Myungsoo.

‘Anneyeong Myungsoo, I’m already here I know I’m early but I had a few things I had to do. How far are you?’

‘I’m almost there Rachel, wait in the café and I’ll be there soon. Order something to drink if you want’.

‘Araso anneyeong.’

‘Anneyeong.’

I walk into the café and there are lots of students here. I see why Myungsoo chose this spot. I walk over to an empty table and a waiter comes up to me.

‘Hello,’ she says smiling. I smile back and reply.

‘Anneyeonghaseyo.’

‘Ah Anneyeonghaseyo, you understand Korean?’

‘Ye,’ I reply.

‘Wow’ she replies and nods. ‘Ah joesonghabnida, what would you like to drink?’ She takes out a little note pad and pen.

‘Erm what do you recommend?’ I ask.

‘I’d say to get the chocolate supreme, it’s chincha the best’.

‘Sounds good, I love chocolate!’ I reply nodding.

‘Chocolate supreme.’ she says slowly while writing it down, ‘it’ll be ready in 10 minutes’.

‘Thank you,’ I say as she walks away.

‘Ye’ she replies and bows.

After a couple of minutes of waiting Myungsoo finally arrives.

‘Rachel,’ he says waving while walking over. A few girls turn around and admire Myungsoo. I can see they find him attractive and I don’t blame them. He looks really handsome with his black jeans and black plaid shirt.

‘Wow Myungsoo you look really handsome,’ I say. ‘All the girls can’t get their eyes off you’.

As he sits down he turns to have a look, the girls see him looking and quickly turn away. He smiles and looks at me. I can see his embarrassed but he really does look handsome, I’m sure he’s used to girls staring at him.

‘Why are you so early Rachel? You’re lucky that I come early to reserve seats, I guess its good, at least I’m not alone today,’ he says smiling.

‘Ah ye, I had something to do so ended up coming early, worked out well for you,’ I tease and he just smiles back.

‘Have you ordered?’ He asks looking over to the waitresses.

‘Ye, chocolate supreme,’ I reply.

‘Ohh you like chocolate?’

‘A lot.’

The same waitress that served me before comes with my chocolate supreme.

‘One chocolate supreme,’ she says putting it in front of me. She then takes out her little note pad and pen, and looks to Myungsoo star struck, she stutterers, ‘wh…what what would you like t..to drink?’

Myungsoo smiles and begins to blush, ‘I’ll have green tea please’.

‘Green tea,’ she repeats and before walking off she has another good look.

I look over at Myungsoo and he laughs, ‘don’t say anything’.

‘What?’ I reply laughing.

While waiting for the others to arrive Myungsoo and I spent our time getting to know each other better.

‘Rachel’ he says sternly and I get worried.

‘Ye?’ I reply

‘Are you okay? You don’t look good.’

Oh great, I didn’t think of an excuse to come up with, without any thought I blurt out. ‘I’m fine, just couldn’t sleep last night. I was talking to my parents’.

‘Ah, are you sure that’s it?’

‘Ye,’ I reply smiling, ‘the others have come,’ I say diverting Myungsoo’s attention.

---

The group meeting ends and everyone begins to make their own way. It was nice meeting new people. They were all very friendly and interested about my life back in England. We also studied the subjects we each found difficult and helped each other. I’m glad Myungsoo invited me to come but I really do miss Woohyun, I prefer our classes, I miss his cheesy jokes that’d make us laugh so hard we’d begin to cry.

‘I’ll walk home with you,’ Myungsoo says as we walk out the café.

‘Ye? Ah gwaenchanha- it’s ok’, I reply.

‘Rachel I know something happened and I know you’re lying to me about your parents. You look so pale like you’ve seen a ghost and your eyes are really swollen. I’m not going to burden you to tell me, I’m sure you have your reasons but I don’t feel right if I leave you like this’.

I look up to Myungsoo and see his gentle eyes frowning. I want to tell him everything but deep down inside something tells me not to. I smile back and tell him he can drop me off to the bus stop but that’s it.

‘O.K,’ he smiles and nods.

---

I reach home and it’s only 5:00pm. Myungsoo stayed with me till the bus came. I’m glad he did, he kept my mind of Sunggyu a little longer. I check my phone and there’s no message from Woohyun.
‘Why isn’t he calling? Is something wrong?’

I begin to dial his number and pause. I’m worrying for nothing, I spoke to him yesterday and he was fine. If something were wrong I’m sure Sunggyu would have left a creepy message. I’m really beginning to miss Woohyun’s presence. He’s become such a big part of my life. I can’t imagine not seeing him, I wish he were with me the entire time…do I like him?

‘NO NO NO,’ I say while shaking my head. This can’t be! I put my phone away out of sight and watch TV, still with Woohyun on my mind.

---

Today is Sunday. It’s already 11:00am and I’m still in bed. Woohyun has been on my mind all night. If it isn’t Sunggyu then it’s Woohyun, I much prefer the feeling I get with Woohyun. I finally get out of bed and make my way to the shower. It’s really hot today plus all this thinking of Woohyun is make me hotter. After my shower I get changed into my work clothes and eat lunch. I call my parents before heading out. I never used to call them during the day but since the incident with Sunggyu I call them regularly, hearing their voices puts me at ease, even if I can’t tell them the truth. Before I leave I quickly apply some darker lip-gloss then usual. I have no idea why but as I apply it Woohyun comes to mind. Once I’m done I leave the house smiling the whole way.

I open up the shop humming to the song playing on the radio.

‘Oh you have a nice voice.’

I turn around embarrassed accidently dropping the Ramyun (instant noodles) pots.

‘Ah gwaenchanhayo?’ The young man asks smiling and picking up the Ramyun pots then handing them over.

I bow and reply, ‘Ye joesonghabnida’.

I take the pots of him and stack them back onto the shelf. I walk over to the counter and from the corner of my eye I watch him. He’s tall and bulky with black hair that spikes up. He has flawless skin and straight white teeth. I get the vibe of a bad boy, not someone evil just someone who’s preserved and keeps to himself. He walks over and I pretend to fiddle with some money.

‘Anneyeong,’ he says smiling and while handing over a drink and snack bar.

‘Annyeonghaseyo,’ I reply scanning his items.

‘Are you new here? I’ve not seen you before, where’s Woohyun and Ahjumma?’

‘Ye, I’m from the UK and go to high school here. Ahjumma kindly gave me a job and Woohyun still works here but today is his day off’.

‘Ahh arasso. So how do you find Korea?’

I place his products into a bag and take the money off him. ‘Joahhe- I like it’. He nods while I give him the change and looks down at me.

‘You’re not from Seoul are you?’ As I say this he looks at me impressed. I quickly add, ‘Ah it’s because you have an accent’.

He laughs and replies, ‘you’re clever, I’m actually from Busan but I moved to Seoul because of business’.

‘Business?’ I ask, ‘you’re so young. But then here everyone seems young and successful.’

He laughs and I blush, I never meant to say that out loud.

‘It was nice to meet you’, he says before leaving, ‘tell Woohyun I came by.’

‘Ye,’ I reply ‘annyeonghaseyo.’

---

I kick the bottom of the counter. It’s almost the end of my shift and there was no show from Woohyun. Not even a message or phone call. I pick up my phone to call Ahjumma as an excuse but she’ll know what I’m up to. ‘Ahhh’ I exclaim. 10 minutes till the end of my shift but I decide to close early. Is Woohyun all right? What if something’s wrong and that’s why he hasn’t been in contact? I pluck up the courage and ring his mobile, but he doesn’t pick up. I close the shop and head home, I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for him not answering. I won’t jump to conclusions, if something were wrong I’m sure Ahujmma would call me. Unless Sunggyu hurt her too, no he surely isn’t that bad. Actually I have no idea when it comes to him. Sunggyu Sunggyu Sunggyu…once again he invades my mind.

I walk home slower then usually with hope that I’ll see Woohyun walking over but unfortunately that’s not the case. Maybe he’s out with his friends or just wants some alone time. I reach home and lay on the couch. I must have been really tired because when I open my eyes I see the sun is setting.

‘Aishh!’ I say to myself. I quickly put some Ramyun on the boil and get changed. I wash my makeup off and turn the TV on. As I eat the Ramyun Ahjumma comes to mind, I really miss her delicious food. I take some kimchi that she gave me and begin to eat that too. I wonder what she might be doing; I wonder what Woohyun is doing. The suspense is killing me! After eating I wash up and call Ahjumma but she doesn’t pick up. Has Sunggyu done something? He really is mad I wouldn’t put it pass him. I wonder why Sunggyus is the way he is. I’m so curious to know what happened between him and Woohyun. It must be really serious if they hate each other this much. Sunggyu is so dark and cold where as Woohyun is so happy and warm. Who’s in the wrong? Why is Sunggyu like that? Is Woohyun really responsible? He’s (Sunggyu) so young yet he lives life like he has the world on his shoulders. What made Sunggyu become a hard workingman when he should be carefree student?

I push the thought of Sunggyu away and put on my jacket. I make sure to lock the gates and head over to Ahjummas and Woohyuns house. Since both of them aren’t retuning my calls I’m beginning to feel anxious. As their house comes into sight I can their lights aren’t on, that doesn’t stop me from going over and knocking on the door.

‘Ahjumma?’ I say knocking on the widow. But there’s no reply.

‘Woohyun-a?’ Again nothing.

I stay standing beside the house for about 5 minutes until I decide there’s no one home. Have they gone somewhere? Why didn’t they tell me? I begin to feel sick. What if something really is wrong?

I ring Woohyuns mobile again but this time is goes straight to the answering machine. I leave a message,

“Woohyun-a, I…I’m just calling because you and Ahjumma both aren’t at home, I hope everything is ok. When you get this message please call me back.”

I make my way back with my phone tightly held in my hand. Please call me Woohyun. I reach home and it’s now 9:00pm, tomorrow I have school. I prepare for bed and check my phone one last time, still nothing. I think of calling the police but I know they’d laugh at me if I report a young man and old women missing for less then 24 hours, I don’t even know if they are missing. Since there’s nothing I can do I decide to go to bed, I’ll see Woohyun tomorrow, I know I will, he wouldn’t miss school, unless something has happened.

‘Aghhh’ these thoughts are killing me! Looks like it’s another night where I’m going to have to take my sleeping pills. Thankfully I brought them to Korea, I wasn’t going to, I thought a new beginning would mean something good, a fresh start but that’s obviously not the case. As I lay in bed trying fall asleep I plan on how to confront Sunggyu. I’ve decided this is the only option I have. Staying quiet clearly isn’t working. Should I shout or be calm? Should I stand close to him or away? What should I say? Should I threaten him? Should I try and find out exactly what’s wrong?

The pills begin to kick in and I feel groggy. I fall in to a deep dark sleep.

---

‘Beep beep beep’ my alarm goes off waking me up for school. I open my eyes and look at the sun that’s shinning into my room. Today is going to be a big day; I’m going to confront Sunggyu no matter what. Woohyun will be there, that’s all I care abour. I have no idea what I’m going to say all I know is I won’t let Sunggyu get away with this, I’m going to make sure he knows how sick and disgusting he is.

I get out of bed and wash up. I then get changed into my school uniform and apply my makeup, again I wear the same lip gloss as I did yesterday but hopefully I’ll see Woohyun this time. I eat my breakfast and prepare my school bag. I check my phone but there still no reply. I look at the message Sunggyu sent me and my blood begins to boil. I grab hold of my bag, put my shoes on and head to the bus stop.

Taking the bus to school alone is really lonely. I guess what they say about not understanding how precious something is until its gone is true. I call Woohyun again but there’s no answer. I don’t know whether or not I should take the day of and just look for him. ‘That’s a crazy idea!’ I say to myself. The people on the bus look at me like I’m weird.

‘Joesonghabnida,’ I say bowing my head.

After a few more minutes I finally reach school. I look out for Woohyun but can’t see him anywhere. I enter the school doors and see Seo yeon. It’s sad that we still haven’t spoken to each other, I honestly thought we would be really good friends. She walks over to the girl’s toilets and I decide to walks past Woohyuns class just in case he’s there. As I walk up the stair a couple in front of me flirt with each other. I’m jealous. I can see the love they have for each other. At this age it truly is magical to find someone you see a future with. I reach Woohyuns class and as expected he isn’t there. I walk back downstairs again and decide to look for Sunggyu since I have 10 minutes until our lesson begins.

I walk down the corridor and there he is, it’s like a sign that I must speak him. He walks in through the school doors and turns right towards the lockers. I walk over pacing myself.

‘Sunggyu,’ I say. My heart is beating 100mph. He turns around to face me and I’m sure my heart skips a beat. Why am I doing this? I think of Woohyun to give myself some courage and remember the text. I get angry and feel like bursting, from nowhere I get an adrenaline rush and burst out.

‘Why are you such a jerk? What did I do so wrong that you played such an evil and dirty prank on me? Are you satisfied? Do you feel like a man now? You always mention how Woohyun isn’t any good but he doesn’t do what you do, you’re the evil one not him.’

He turns around and stands there looking at me showing no emotion. I have no idea what’s going through his mind.

‘I’m going to call the police. Woohyun and Ahjumma aren’t picking up the phone and they’re not at home, what have you done? If you tell me then I won’t call the-’

He has a grin on his face, I want to walk over and slap him. He walks over to me instead and his smile vanishes. He grabs me by the arm and pushes me into the locker in the corner so no one can see.

‘You need to shut that mouth of yours, I have no idea what -’

‘Don’t talk to me like that! Just because I’m not Korean doesn’t give you the right to speak down to me.’

He looks at me and I’m sure he’s stunned with the fact that I spoke back, I can see he wasn’t expecting it, I wasn’t either.

‘Why did you do it huh? Did you kill the dog? Are you mad!?’

‘Stop it!’ He shouts and punches the locker next to my head scaring me. He moves in closer and says. ‘What are you talking about? What are you excusing me for?’

I take out my phone and show him the message. ‘You sent this to me right? How you got my number I don’t know but I know only you’re evil enough to do something like this.’

He looks at me and brings his head closer to mine. ‘I may be evil but I’m not a sick twisted person, I wouldn’t do something like this, even if I do get to hurt Woohyun’.

I’m confused now, I was so sure it was him but now I’m not so certain, part of me believes him.

‘You..you did this! Don’t lie I know you did, who else would send this? Only you hate us-’

‘I SAID I DIDN’T DO IT!’

‘Why would I believe you? You did it!’ He looks at me angrily. I’m scared of what he might do but I can’t seem to control myself. ‘What have you done to him? Forget him then what about Ahjumma? What did she ever do?-’

‘STOP IT! You’re crazy.’

‘No, you are. Tell me what you’ve done with them, I’ll call the police and I’ll tell everyone on your company page what you did, I’ll make sure your business fails-’

He bangs the locker again and puts his hand around my neck.

‘Shut up, just shut up. I said I didn’t send the text, I don’t have your number and I didn’t kill any dog nor did pay anyone to do it. I do things in style, not like this.’

‘Well where is he then?’ I ask trying to remove his hand from my neck.

‘How do I know? Am I his mum? Do I keep a personal record on where he goes?’

‘I don’t believe you,’ I get my phone of him and begin to call the police.

He quickly turns my phone off and throws it on the floor. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’

‘I’M CALLING THE POLICE! I’M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE WHAT YOU DONE, I’M GOING TO FIND WOOHYUN.’

He puts his hand over my mouth and in my ear says, ‘I don’t care about Woohyun, I care about my business, I work so hard for it and you want to destroy it just like that.’

He moves backwards and removes his hand. ‘You shouldn’t be a psycho then.’ I say.

I’M NOT! YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHOS SAYING I AM.’

I just stare up at him not sure on what to do.

‘I’ll find who done this’, as he says this he slowly backs away. ‘I’ll find who done this so in the mean time just keep your mouth shut and don’t say or do anything until I’ve proven my innocence.’

‘How do I know you won’t frame someone’?

‘Stop making this complicated’.

‘You are complicated’.

He looks at me annoyed.

‘Fine, I’ll give you time to prove your innocence, if you didn’t send me the message I won’t report you to the police and I won’t post it on you business page’.

‘Good,’ he simply replies.

‘We have to work together for this to work’.

‘What?’ He laughs, ‘I’m not working with you on anything.’

‘Well you’re going to have to in order for me to trust you. If you don’t want to I’m sure the media will love to hear this story and even if you didn’t send the message your name will still be so dirty-’

‘AISHHH! Fine!’ He shouts.

He walks away and freezes. I walk over to him and look at whatever he’s glaring to, it’s Woohyun, he’s looking into our class.

‘Woohyun-a!’ I shout while running up to him. I put my arms around his neck and hug him really tightly, he’s alive!

‘Ohhh,’ he says laughing, ‘why? Did you miss me?’

I let go off him and gently hit him on his chest.

‘Do you know how worried I’ve been? Why haven’t you been returning my calls? Is Ahjumma ok? I went over but you both weren’t there’.

‘Ahh,’ he replies putting his hands onto my shoulders. ‘Sorry I didn’t call you; I had no service where I was. I had to take Ahjumma to the country because her sister is really ill, she’s there right now and told me to say sorry on her behalf for not being able to see you before she left’.

‘Is she ok? Is her sister ok?’ I ask concerned, I knew there was a perfectly good reason.

‘Halmeoni is fine but her sister is really ill, it doesn’t look good’.

‘You should have stayed with her, I’ll visit on the weekend’.

‘Halmeoni made me come, you know how persistent she it. She said to come when she calls, until then she wants us to look after the shop’.

‘Ahh, I understand.’

Woohyun hugs me again and whispers in my ear, ‘why were you with that creep? He’s watching us’.

I move back and playfully hit him again.

‘I know,’ I whisper, ‘that’s why you should return my calls’.

He laughs ‘sorry,’ he says while smiling.

‘Don’t be, you had no choice but to go, Our Woohyun is the best.’

He laughs and walks backwards, ‘I’ll see you at lunch?’

‘Ne,’ I reply waving.

I watch him leave and when he’s no longer insight I turn to Sunggyu.

‘I now you’re watching us,’ I shout to him. He walks over.

‘Why do you care for him so much?’

‘Why not? He cares for me too.’

‘You don’t know him’ he says.

‘And you do?’ I reply.

…‘More then you,’ he says back.

He walks off into the classroom and I follow. He sits in his chair and doesn’t look over, it’s as though our conversation never happened, like I’m invisible, I hate how he makes me feel, but why do I care? Why do I want him to see me?

Notes