New Beginnings

‘Here,’ Myungsoo says handing over some spare clothes. ‘They may be a little big but it’s better then what you’re wearing’.

‘I’m Sorry,’ I say looking down holding back my tears.

‘What for? You did nothing wrong.’

‘You got hurt because of me’.

‘So? You didn’t force me to go in front of you, I did it myself so stop apologizing’.

‘Sorry’ I repeat, I quickly look up at Myungsoo and he glares at me, we both start laughing.

I get changed and wipe myself clean, you wouldn’t suspect anything happened apart from my oversized clothes but I actually find these more comfortable. Myungsoo sits on the table looking into the hallway.

‘Are you waiting for someone?’ I ask walking towards the window.

‘Sorry,’ he says guiltily.

‘What for?’ I reply smiling. I look out the window into the corridor and see Woohyun running down. I turn to Myungsoo, ‘why?’

‘Are you ok? What did he do? I’m going to kill him! I’m so sorry I wasn’t there...’ Woohyun yells while walking around me in circles making sure I wasn’t hurt.

‘Stop,’ I say holding onto Woohyuns arm, ‘you’re going to make me dizzy’ I laugh trying to break the tension but Woohyun and Myungsoo don’t laugh.

‘Is this funny, huh?’ Woohyun says squeezing my arms.

‘Don’t make a big deal out of this’.

‘It is a big deal!’ Myungsoo says walking towards us.

‘What would you have done if Myungsoo wasn’t there, huh?’ Woohyun shouts. He’s never looked at me like this before, I hate that I’ve become a burden for him.

‘Please,’ I say removing Woohyuns hands of my arms, ‘I know this is a big deal but if we retaliate he’ll only do it more. I don’t want him to think that he’s won. Please for me can you both forget this, I don’t want to entertain them, he won’t do this again, I know he won’t.’

As I say these words I know they’re all lies, Sunggyu said this was the beginning and I believe him but I can’t and won’t let anyone worry for me. I’ll look after myself and I’ll protect Woohyun.
‘I don’t understand, where was the teacher?’ Woohyun asks not looking me in the eyes.

‘She wasn’t there, when Rachel was getting changed I quickly ran back to class and saw they cleaned everything up so even if we do tell there’s no evidence’.

‘Those sneaky bastards!’ Woohyun shouts walking in the direction of the door.

‘Wh..where are you going?’ I stutter while holding Woohyun back.

‘I’m going to kill him!’ He shouts trying to push past me but Myungsoo grabs hold of his shoulder.

‘Rachel’s right. You can’t protect her like this, just forget it, he’ll soon get over her.’

‘Please Woohyun-a, pleaseee’ I plead with him hoping it works.

‘Aish!’ Woohyun shouts pulling at his hair. ‘Stay away from him, I swear if I see one mark on you then I’ll kill him! I’ll kill them all!’ And with that Woohyun walks off kicking the door on his way out. I look over to Myungsoo and he looks guilty.

‘Why did you call him? You knew he’d react like that! Are you happy now?’ I can’t seem to keep my frustrations in.

‘I’m sorry but he should know.’

‘Why? Why should he know?

‘I don’t know, just at the time it felt right to call him so I did. I thought he’d make you feel better. I know you have no family here in Seoul so I called Woohyun, I’m sorry’.

I breathe out and walk over to Myungsoo who’s sitting back on the table again, ‘its ok’ I say looking out the window, ‘it ok’.


---

My heart is beating so fast I’m sure it’s going to explode. I walk into class with Myungsoo and can feel everyone’s eyes on me.

‘Why are you late?’ The teacher asks sternly

‘Erm the Principle wanted to see Rachel so I took her’, Myungsoo lies while looking at Sunggyu who’s sitting there squinting his eyes so they’re almost look nonexistent.

‘Araso, sit down’, the teacher replies.

Myungsoo turns around and smiles at me, without any sounds he mouths ‘it’s ok’.

I smile back and nod my head. I make my way towards my desk not putting my head up, just wishing I were invisible. I sit down and can feel Sunggyus stare burning onto my face. He quietly laughs and whispers, ‘wow just when I thought you couldn’t get any uglier you surprise me.’ I don’t respond and he carries on. ‘See? I told you you’d regret messing with me. I bet you wish you didn’t lay eyes on me now.’

I won’t be weak. He won’t win.

‘No,’ I say trying to sound brave. I slowly turn my head towards him and look deep into his eyes, ‘I’m glad I met a jerk like you, now I know what evil lies in this planet. You make me appreciate the people around me more, you make me love them stronger’.

I quickly turn my head back to the teacher half expecting a reply but I think Sunggyu got my real massage. His attempt to hurt me only makes my like Woohyun more instead of hate him for whatever Sunggyu is putting me through.

I sit there with my notebook in front of me not making any notes. I can’t believe this is happening to me, I wish I didn’t come to Korea now. I want to tell my parents but at the same time I don’t want to scare them or let them down, just a year and I’ll be gone. I take my phone out unable to concentrate and text Seo yeon.

‘At lunch meet me near the bike shed, we need to talk.’
Send.

‘Please’.
Send.

---

Finally after what felt like hours and hours the class ends. I quickly make my way out heading to the bike shed making sure no one is following me.

My phone rings, its Woohyun.

‘Hello?’ I say.

‘Hello, where are you? Are you ok? Are you alone?’

‘I’m fine, I’m meeting Seo yeon so I’ll call you later.’

‘Wait! Where are you meeting her?’

‘Why? I’m fine Woohyun you go and eat please’.

‘I can’t eat, I’ll just worry about you, please tell me where you are. Let’s eat together’.

‘Come in about 5minutes, I’ll be at the bike shed, I have to go now Seo yeon is here’.

‘Okay, take care’.

I put my phone down and see Seo yeon walking towards me. I can’t believe she actually came, I was half expecting her to ignore me…again. Now that she’s here I don’t know what to say.

We both just stand there awkwardly looking at each other, I called her so I should go first, but I just don’t know what to say.

‘So...so I guess you no longer want to be friends?’ I ask kicking a pebble.

‘Rachel I’m sorry. I should have stuck up for you but I don’t think you understand how scary Sunggyu is. If I could turn back time I would have done the same thing.’

She didn’t have to tell me that. I knew she didn’t regret her actions, she was looking out for herself and I don’t blame her but I’m so angry I just can’t accept such a weak excuse. I look up at her and see Woohyun standing in the distance waiting. I knew he couldn’t wait 5 mintues but I guess he’s saving me.

‘I have to go’ I say and brush past walking up to Woohyun. She calls out my name but I ignore her.

‘Are you ok?’ Woohyun asks while putting his arm over my shoulder. A few girls walk past and mutter stuff to each other. I remove Woohyuns arm and stop walking.

‘Forget her,’ I reply. ‘Forget everyone lets just go somewhere and eat’.

‘Sounds good to me,’ Woohyun says smiling. I miss his smile.

We leave school and head towards the train station. Apparently Woohyun knows the best place for ‘heart warming food’ as he says.

‘Ah I’ll quickly get you a train pass, you walk down those stairs. They lead to a tunnel, its scary but don’t worry I’ll be there soon and it’s always empty.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ I say and he runs off’.

Woohyuns right it is scary, all the light from above has practically gone. I walk through the tunnel and just before I reach the end I see a figure standing there. I get a little scared but since I’m almost there and Woohyun should be here any second now I make my way across. As I slowly make my way my heart beats really fast, where’s Woohyun? The figure coughs and I know its Sunggyu. I feel like collapsing. All the energy from me rushes out and I feel sick, I can’t breathe. He’s going to kill me! Just as I’m about to run back out I hear a women shout, ‘oppa!’ she goes running to the figure. He responds back, it’s not Sunggyu. I breathe out and smile to myself. ‘Pabo’ I say knocking my head.

‘Boo!’ Woohyun says into my ears while lightly pushing my shoulders.

‘Ahhh,’ I scream embarrassed. ‘Ya! Don’t do that!’ I say hitting him.

‘HAHAHA ahh araso araso, I’m sorry hahaha’ Woohyun laughs while handing over my train pass. ‘Let’s go eat’, he says still laughing.

---

Going out for lunch with Woohyun was refreshing. I had no worries on my mind and I didn’t think of Sunggyu at all. Well that’s a lie, on our way back he was all I was thinking about. Walking up to the school gates feels like I’m heading to a battlefield. I have the option to quickly run away or to be strong and win my fight. I choose to win. I never would have imagined that this would happen to me. I always thought that bullies where exaggerated but now I know how foolish I’ve been.

‘There’s Myungsoo’, Woohyun says as we enter the building.

‘Myungsoo!’ He shouts waving his arms like we’re miles away. He comes running over with a smile on his face.

‘Are you guys alright?’ Myungsoo asks.

‘Yeah, we had a good time,’ Woohyun smiles back. ‘Ah I’ll ask for this favor, look after Rachel for me when I’m not there. I feel like she’s my responsibility. I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to her.’ He turns his head towards me and I see the pain in his eyes. I hate myself for putting Woohyun through this.

‘Yahh,’ I say lightly trying to make him smile.

Myungsoo lets out a little laugh and tells Woohyun he’ll look after me.

‘She fainted yesterday’, Woohyuns says to Myungsoo so casually.

‘Woohyun!’ I exclaim shocked.

‘What? He needs to know so he can look after you properly. Don’t worry he won’t tell anyone. Will you?’ Woohyun sternly says to him while raising his eyebrow.

‘Of…of course not’.

‘See, nothing to be worried about’.

‘I’ll be going,’ Myungsoo says heading towards class. I have to prepare before the teachers comes’.

‘Oh araso, take care’ Woohyun says coolly with his hands in his pockets.

Now that he brought yesterday up I actually have a question for him. ‘Woohyun’ I say looking up at him. ‘Yesterday how did you know to come?’

‘Halmeoni told me to check on you. I went to your house but you weren’t there so I just happened to walk down that street and there you were...with him’.

‘Ahh is that it?’ I reply nodding to myself. ‘I guess Halmeoni is my savior.’ I cheekily smile at Woohyun.

‘Yah! I got hit for you,’ He says stubbornly.

‘I didn’t tell you to get hit’.

‘I know, I know’ he laughs then turns his head. Halmeoni is a savior, that’s her nature’. He stands there staring at the floor, his mind obviously elsewhere. I wish he wouldn’t say things like this. It just makes me more curious and he’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want to tell me anything, even if it potentially is putting my life in danger.

‘Ding dong ding’ the bell rings and everyone heads towards class.

‘Ahh not yet pleaseee,’ I plead to myself. Woohyun laughs and says, ‘don’t worry you’ll see me after school. I know it’ll be hard for you since I’m so hot but be patient’.

I can’t help but laugh, ‘You’re so cheesy, do you know that?’ I impose laughing.

‘Uh’ he responds smiling. He walks backwards looking towards me, just before tuning around he says ‘Anneyeong’.

‘Anneyeong,’ I reply smiling back trying to hide my worries.

---

So far class has been fine. No bother from anyone and most importantly from Sunggyu but instead of feeling at ease I’m more anxious. Every time he moves whether it’s him shifting in his seat or surprisingly writing something down in his book I get scared. I’m sure he’s seen me flinch a few times; I bet he loves this.

I look over at him not making it obvious and his eyes are closed, as usual. 30 minutes now until the end of lesson. As soon as that bell rings I’m running out of here. I plan everything out in my head reassuring myself that Sunggyu won’t affect me today.
I slowly begin to pack away my books as I see home time approaching. My phone buzzes and I see I have a text from Myungsoo.

‘Study group meeting tomorrow at Mocho café, make sure to be there for 1:00.’

‘Ne’.

I reply back looking at the time, 5 painful minutes left.

‘Would like me to walk to the bus stop? I can wait with you until Woohyun comes?’

‘Thank you but it’s ok, you have a safe journey home.’

‘I should say that to you’.

Myungsoo replies and turns around in his chair giving me a discrete wink.

‘Ding dong ding’. I grab my bag and run towards the door. ‘BANG!’ The door slams shut in front of me. I turn around and see its Sunggyu arm that’s stretched beside me not letting me leave. The whole class looks at us like where putting on a show for them. I feel my body warm up and my palms begin to sweat. I look over at Myungsoo and he catches my eyes plead for help. He walks over and pulls me away from Sunggyu.

‘What are you doing? We’re all tired, we want to go home.’

Sunggyu doesn’t say anything, he opens the door and everyone beings to leave. Myungsoo and I are left in class with Sunggyu.

‘Lets go,’ Myungsoo says grapping hold of my wrist.

‘No she’s coming with me’, Sunggyu answers stopping Myungsoo from leaving.

My heart begins to sink and feel like dropping to the floor.

‘What? Why is she with you?’

‘Ask her yourself.’ Sunggyu replies smiling. He looks towards and I see in his eyes he’s warning me. If I don’t play along then he’ll hurt Woohyun or maybe even Myungsoo. I can’t take that risk. Myungsoo turns around and looks at me. I smile back and say, ‘yeah I’m just going to stay behind for a bit, I’ll be about soon, you go ahead’.

He looks at me confused. Part of me wants him to go so I know he’ll be safe an but the other half of me wants him to stay.

‘Are you sure?’ Myungsoo asks.

‘Ye, I’ll be out in 5 minutes, if not come looking for me.’ I say trying to make it sound like a joke but it doesn’t. Only Sunggyu laughs and says, ‘yeah 5 minutes and she’ll be out, if not you might just find her body on the floor.’

‘What did you say?’ Myungsoo says angrily to Sunggyu, I can hear the disgust in his voice. I walk over and put myself in-between them.

‘Myungsoo please just go, I’ll be 5 minutes, I’ll be fine please just go’.

‘Ok but I’m seriously coming back if you’re not out in 5 minutes’.

Myungsoo walks away and doesn’t turn around. Sunggyu grabs hold of my arms and pulls me into class. He bangs the door shut and pushes me against it. He then slowly puts is hand through my hair and pulls my head back. Not too hard that it hurts but enough to scare me.

‘This isn’t a drama or a stupid movie, this is real life.’ His lips are just inches away from mine and I can feel the warmth of his breath. I stare back at him not sure what to do. He grunts and lets go of my hair. I rub the back of my head moving to the side trying to get away from Sunggyu but he quickly puts his hands on the door either side of me. ‘Be careful Rachel, be very carful. This is a scary world we live in.’

What is he trying to say? I push his arm out the way and run out of the class. I can hear him behind me, what’s he doing now?

‘Run faster, they’ll think I’ve killed you…but of course I wont do that…not yet at least’.

Those last words make me shiver. I walk through the school gates and there’s Myungsoo walking up and down worried.

‘Boo!’ I say jumping behind him.

‘YAH! You scared me!’

‘Hahaha your face!!’

‘How can you make jokes in this situation? Did he hurt you? What did he want?’

‘I’m here aren’t I? Don’t worry about me I can look after myself.’ I say trying to sound confident so Myungsoo doesn’t worry.

‘There’s Woohyun,’ he says looking towards the school, behind him Sunggyu walks looking somewhere yet nowhere, those eyes never let you see what’s really going on.

‘Please don’t tell Woohyun what happened, I don’t want him to worry for no reason’.

Myungsoo looks towards me and nods just in time before Woohyun approaches us.

‘Ahh did you miss me?’ He says with his cheeky grin. I can always count on Woohyun to make me smile.

‘Yeah I missed you so much I thought I was going to go crazy’. I reply mocking him.

‘Aaa I’m going to go and leave you to alone’. Myungsoo says blocking his ears.

Woohyun and I laugh, ‘araso’ Woohyun shouts over to him. We turn and head towards the bus stop. Across the road Sunggyu is there with that same man and black car. Woohyun catches me looking and puts his arm around my shoulders.

‘Yah, what are you doing? Everyone is looking’.

‘When don’t they? Lets give them something real to look at’.

‘Woohyun...’

‘Come on lets go home’ he says loudly. That seems to catch Sunggyus attention as from the corner of my eye I see his head move up then quickly back down like he did something he shouldn’t have. He already knows where I live since I fainted last time but I never thought he’d come to my house, I must admit I’m really scared now. What if he comes?

The bus comes and Woohyun and I get on. I laugh and joke with him the whole journey but Sunggyu is deep in my mind. I try to think of ways to get Woohyun to come with me but it doesn’t feel right. I’m sure I’ll be fine. We get of the bus and walk home. Woohyun says goodbye and I watch him walk away until he’s no longer insight. I slowly open the gates half expecting Sunggyu but he’s not there. I exhale and lock the gate doors.

---

It’s now 8:15pm and the sun is beginning to set. So far nothing has happened and I decide that I’m letting my imagination run away with itself. I wash the dishes and quickly tidy up. I sort out my work for the meeting with the study group tomorrow and pick out some nice clothes to wear. I wash up, brush my teeth and tie up my hair. I think I’ll go to bed early today, I’m so tired thinking over and over again about Sunggyu its best I sleep before I really do have a breakdown. Just as I’m about to get changed my phone buzzes. I have a message from a number I don’t recognize. I unlock my phone and open the message.

‘Come to the warehouse at Taepyeong Street NOW …if you want to save him’.

I scroll down and there’s a picture. I click it but it’s too dark to make out exactly what it’s showing. What I can see is someone’s black hair all spiked up and a jacket on top of them. They’re lying stiff on the floor. I can’t see his or her face or body so it can be anyone. I put my phone away thinking someone sent it to me by accident but then I remembered, Woohyun was wearing that jacket!

I grab hold of my cardigan and put my shoes on, I unlock the gates and head out. I run so fast that I trip and cut my knee. I quickly get back up and head towards the bus stop. A taxi drives by and I put my hand out running after it. Luckily it stops and I tell him were to go. The whole journey there I find it hard to breathe. I can’t look at the message again, I’m to sacred as to what I might see. Who is this? It’s got to be Sunggyu.

The taxi pulls up and I run towards the building, its beginning to get darker now and being inside a warehouse doesn’t help. Its really dark in here, I can’t see anything apart from dust floating in the air due to the sun rays shining through the broken parts of the warehouse. I take my phone out to use as light a light source. I walk around slowly to scared to shout anything out. Then I remember the picture and Woohyun comes to mind. I have to save him.

‘Woohyun!’ I shout but no answer.

‘Woohyun-a where are you?’ Again no answer.

I carry on walking around and then my light catches something. That jacket. I walk slowly towards the object under the jacket. I’m scared to what I may see, please don’t be Woohyun. As I get closer and closer I see its not Woohyun, it’s not even human. I don’t know how I mange to get the guts but I do and pull the jacket away. There lays a dead black dog. I scream and run out of the building. I hear someone laugh and footsteps running. I want to turn around and confront Sunggyu but I just can’t. I know its him, only he can be so evil to do this. I run faster and faster to the point I no longer can breathe. I turn around but no one is behind me, I still don’t feel safe. I keep running until I reach a busy street and get a taxi home. I call Woohyun just to make sure he’s safe.

‘Rachel it’s lovely to hear from you what can I do?’ Woohyun says.

Its so good to hear his voice, I know he’s fine by the way he’s talking. I look down at the ground and smile.

‘Hello?’ He says sounding concerned; I just can’t seem to speak. Why didn’t I use my stupid head in the first place and call him before I went to the warehouse?

‘Rachel?’

‘Ah sorry, I accidentally put my phone on mute so you couldn’t hear me’ I quickly reply.

‘Ahh pabo!’

‘Yah! It can happen to anyone.’

‘Yeah to every pabo. So why did you call? You really miss me?

‘I just called to say I’m going to a study meeting with Myungsoo tomorrow so I can’t do out lesson together. Or maybe we can but it’ll have to be later in the day?’

‘Ah ok that’s fine, I’m going out anyway so I’ll see you later.’

‘Ok’ I reply as I walk through the gates and into my house, no Sunggyu.

‘Take care then Rachel and dream of me.’

I laugh and put the phone down. I get changed and lay in bed thinking about what just happened. I feel like calling the number to find out exactly what’s going on but every time I pick up my phone my body begins to shake and I feel dizzy. I just want to block everything out. I can’t even call the police because they’d just favor Sunggyu over a foreign girl.

I lay in bed for 4 hours and still unable to sleep, all I can think about is the poor dead dog and that laugh. I think about going to school and seeing Sunggyu. I think about what’s going through his head right now this very minute, what will I be victim to next? My head begins to pound and I no longer can lay still. I head to the kitchen and take some sleeping pills my doctor gave me due to the incident that happened in England. I walk to my room, lay in bed and put a movie onto my laptop hoping I’ll fall asleep half way though.

It works.

The last thing I remember is the movie forming into the laugh and me walking around stupidly like a fool. There’s Sunggyu on the 2nd floor watching me. He has no expression on his face apart from his eyes, they’re smiling.

Notes