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BTS Actor Series

Forgive Me- Part 2

2 years later....

Thumbing at the corner of my script for tonight, I finish downing the last bit of my water as my make up artist brushes on my finishing touches. We have yet another celebrity guest on tonight, and I help co-host one of the biggest late shows in my country. My scripts are never too long since I mostly improv on majority of my lines. Either way, I studied my script from top to bottom this morning until my brain was fried.
"Alright! Yoo Mirae, Ready in 3, 2, 1!" One of the producer's shout.
I make my way to the couch waving to the audience. As the show begins, the main host goes through his quick monologue as I join him and we mention the celebrity that will be guest starring this evening. As usual, we make some jokes, the audience laughing along with us until each guest makes their way to the seat beside me. Hard to believe I started as a columnist, which I do on the side with an undercover name, to now co-hosting one of the top shows in the world. Thankfully, I'm not as famous as others, but I try to maintain my privacy as much as possible. I do get recognized in public quite often, but thankfully nothing too crazy happens.
We get through the show in one peace, and I find myself in the back of a dark SUV; my favorite driver Stan, asks how my night went as he always does and takes me home.
Once settled in my house, I notice the pile of mail on my counter. My mom comes over and cleans sometimes just because she gets bored at home, and she must have checked the mail this morning for me. As I walk over to the pile, I notice most of it is junk mixed in with a couple magazines. Flipping through everything, a magazine cover catches me by surprise and I toss the magazine in frustration. He's on the cover of another magazine. Again.
Biting the corner of my lip, I squeeze my eyes shut trying to avoid the worst memory of my life from reaching my brain. I've never told a soul about the encounter two years ago and I never plan to. I haven't even told my mother. The guilt has never left even after all this time, but of course as my career started becoming successful, it was as if his career became successful too. I wrap my arms around my chest wishing for a distraction, but sometimes a distraction never comes especially in the evenings when I'm alone. Of course, now that my parents live close to me now, I visit them often, but not as often due to my name being known. The last thing I ever want is for strangers to figure out where my parents live and who they are. I look over at the spot I tossed the magazine with my tongue in cheek.
Shaking my head, I pick up the magazine, this time tossing it in the trash. Walking over to the couch, I take a seat curling up with my favorite blanket. I haven't really dated much since. And the times I tried, I would 100% check if they had a girlfriend, or even more so, a wife. Most of the time they don't because it shouldn't be normal for man with a wife to cheat on her or vice versa, but I guess shiz happens. Rubbing my forehead with my fingers, I lean further into the couch.
He's divorced now.
It wasn't breaking news because he wasn't quite famous yet at the time the divorce took place. How do I know about this? Well, he happens to be one of the top male actors in our country and word gets around. Especially when my co-workers have absolutely no idea about my dirty little secret with him; and, some of the women talk about him a lot and how they beg the main host of the talk show to please ask him to guest star. Restless, I stand from the couch and walk over to the mail I missed. One letter catches my attention as I quickly open it.
"Oh wow." I breathe. I have just been invited to an after party for a movie that just recently came out. The main star is a young actor by the name of Kim Taehyung, and according to the invitation the party is this weekend. I text a few of my friends seeing if they'd like to join, excitement filling me. I've only been to one other after party and it was nice, but I had no friends. Kidding, kidding. I had friends, but none of them could make it, and this happened to be when I first got my job as a co-host so therefore my name hadn't really been put out there just yet. I think I even know what outfit I'm going to wear, I think to myself. With a wide grin, I magnet the invitation to my refrigerator and waltz to bed hoping by the end of the night my friends will agree to come with me.
**
Once finishing up my favorite hairstyle, I smooth out my favorite dress with my hands. My heels click below me as I look over once more in the mirror for approval. "I think I look decent enough." I nod once and turn off the lights behind me. I shoot a text to the group chat with my friends letting them know I'm on my way which each of them replied letting me know when they will be arriving as well. Stan tips his hat at me once I'm seated in the SUV. We make small talk up until we arrive to the destination.
"Thank you, Stan." I say, "See you later!" I shut the SUV door behind me and walk to the entrance of the building. Music blasting from all sides, I quickly message my friends about my arrival, deciding to take in the view. The house is huge and white, many windows, and people standing around with drinks in hand. I figure there will be many famous people here, but I mainly keep my eyes peeled for my friends. I probably should have googled the Kim Taehyung fellow since the movie has him in it, but I do not see him now so that will save me some embarrassment. I just can't remember what the name of the movie is.
Walking through the doors, the music grows even louder, and hordes of people are gathered around dancing. The lights are very much dimmed, and the smell of alcohol fills my nose. Couples are lip locked in every corner it seems, and I can't help but brush off the lonely feeling since my friends haven't arrived yet. Awkwardly, I round a corner to a long table with punch, ice, and finger foods sprawled out. I munch on a cracker and quickly ladle myself a cup of punch taking small sips at a time. I'm not seeing anyone I recognize just yet, and once I'm clear of the bustles of people, I decide to head back to the main entrance, maybe even take a step outside if I can get past all the dancing. Swiftly, I walk towards the entrance, dodging couples and groups as I go.
Taking another peek at the dance floor something makes me freeze in place. Heart pounding, my eyes widen at who I see standing in the corner. It's Jin and before I can look away, he sees me. Although brief eye contact, I turn to power walk to the entrance as fast as I can throwing my punch in a trashcan on the way. Nausea waves in the pit of my stomach because for some reason, I have a feeling he's following me and that's the last thing I need right now. Pushing open the doors, the cool breeze hits me. Making it to the sidewalk, I try to think of where I can go avoiding some stares from the people chilling out front. I need to find a good place to hide. As I continue down the sidewalk, on the side of the building, I notice a nice area surrounded by tall trees. No one is in plain sight there, and inwardly I'm hoping there's a bench somewhere, so I can sit down and clear my mind.
Before I can continue further, I hear him speak, "Mirae! Mirae! Wait, please!" He sounds frantic, but so are the thoughts rushing through my mind. I don't want to see him. I don't want to talk to him. I just don't want to be here anymore. My phone buzzes in my hand purse, but I'm shaking too much to even get it out. "Mirae!" He says again.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I pause, hearing his jogging footsteps against the cement behind me. No, no, no, no, no, I think to myself, slowly turning to face the one person I never wanted to see ever again. Not like this. Not now. Not ever. Jin makes it to me, out of breath, but respectfully stands a few feet away from me. "What- what are you doing here?" I manage to say, my hands still shaking, but hoping he doesn't notice. "What do you want?"
"Mirae, I just- I saw you, I," Still trying to catch his breath, he continues, "I'm here celebrating the movie I'm in. But I- I was hoping we could- we could talk." He looks handsome, just as he did when we first met. He's wearing a black suit, white dress shirt, with a black tie. His hair stayed the same, still stops at his eyebrows as it did two years ago. Our eyes meet, and I can see the sincerity in his. But, .... He's an actor so what do I know?
"Talk?" I breathe, also shocked about what he just said. The movie he's in? Is he in the movie Kim Taehyung is in? "You want to talk." I didn't say it like a question. In all honesty, the humiliation I went through two years ago is resurfacing especially when I picture her face. The anger in her eyes, the screaming for me to leave, the horror I felt when I found his ring, the guilt- all of it returning and crashing all over me like waves. "What happened to talking two years ago?" Suddenly, I feel bravery within me as I slowly step forward. Anger in my eyes, deciding to not be afraid, "You could have told me you were married. Who the hell do you think you are?"
Jin looks toward the ground ashamed; licking his lips, he begins to speak. "I- I know, but if I would have told you, you-"
"You wouldn't have gotten f***ed." My teeth are gritted now, my heart still pounding I can feel it in my temples. Jin's eyes widen in surprise as he stares at me, speechless.
"No- No, I-I-" Sighing in frustration, he runs a hand through his hair, his broad shoulders still tense. "Listen, Mirae, it wasn't like that."
"Wasn't like that? Then what was it, Jin?" Tears well in my eyes, "There's no excuse, you had a wife!"
"Mirae, I know.. I know, but please hear me out." He pleads, holding his hand out as if to calm me. I exhale slowly, folding my arms across my chest, my hand gripping onto my hand purse tighter than I realize. When he sees me nod, he bows his head slightly as if to thank me, "Look, I know there's no excuse for what happened." I tense at his words uncertain if anything he is about to say further is even true. Even though the memory of us meeting decides to return to me. "I don't even know what else to say other than I'm sorry," He takes a step forward and I eye him carefully, my arms still folded. "I wanted to tell you the truth." A tear hits my cheek, as silence continues to overwhelm me.
"Listen Mirae, I thought about you every single day, wishing I could tell you how sorry I was.. How sorry I still am." He runs his hand through his hair again, then rubbing his forehead, "I tried reaching out, but I never got a reply and I knew why, and I understood why, and I would do anything to take it all back if I could." He steps even closer, another tear slipping from my eyes, my body still shaking. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I never told you. And, I am so sorry for what I did. Is there any way you can forgive me?"
I stare down at the pavement, my nerves still abundant. My phone hasn't stopped buzzing the whole time, but it's hard for me to notice with Jin here. It was pure magic when him and I met, it was as if the stars aligned just for us. His sweet kiss before we fell asleep, the dad jokes he told on our walk at the park, his passion for acting and cooking and how he desperately wanted to cook for me one day. His smile had pulled on my heart strings that day too, his laugh contagious and the way he looked at me... It was as if we were made for each other.
All of it is coming back to me, and here I am still speechless. I can't even look at him. But, how can someone who seemed so wonderful do what he did and think a simple 'sorry' would make everything better? At the end of the day, he still got what he wanted, and I ended up with getting humiliated. Her face haunts me every day, and I wish I had the bravery to reach out to her. If anyone needs forgiveness, it's me. Not him. I don't deserve forgiveness, but I'd do anything to tell her I'm sorry. "Mirae?" Jin says, concern filling his eyes. I realize I have been silent a moment too long. Meeting his eyes, tears still falling, I wipe them away before speaking.
"It's her you should be apologizing to, not me."
I brush past him and make my way to the front of the building. Sadness fills me, and I reach for my phone. "Shit." I whisper in frustration as I see the numerous text messages from my friends.
*Hey, where are you?
*Girl, we boutta meet Taehyung, get your ass out here!
*We'll get you a drink just let us know where you are.
*Are you already drunk?
I can't bring myself to reply yet. Instead, I call Stan, and in 15 minutes he arrives. As I buckle in, Stan seems aware that I'm not okay, so he kindly keeps his questions to himself. Once home, I crash. Putting my phone on silent, I lay in the darkness until I drift asleep.
*
I wake up the next morning, the sun shining high in the sky. I inhale and stretch my legs before sitting up. Rubbing my eyes, I decide to text my friends at least letting them know I'm okay. Once my eyes adjust to the bright light of my phone, my eyebrows furrow as I read the messages.
*Girl, you have some explaining to do.
*Were you ever going to tell me?
"Explaining to do? What?" I whisper to myself; it takes me a moment to realize they're probably talking about me not meeting up with them at the party. I reply in the group chat apologizing for ditching them, and I reassured them that I'm okay. The second I hit send, one of my friends call me.
"Hello?" I answer.
"Mirae?" My friend says, panic in her voice.
"Hey.. Sorry about last night. Something came up-"
"Whatever you do, do not Google yourself." My friend cuts me off. Confusion fills me by what is just said.
"Wait- what?" I move to sit at the edge of my bed.
There's a pause at the end of the phone, "Look, I don't know what's going on. But, pictures of you got leaked from the party last night."
"What?" I whisper, I grip at the bed cover underneath my hand. Pictures? The only thing that happened was my encounter with Ji-
Fear fills me. "I've got to go." I say to my friend, hanging up the phone. Hands shaking, I can't help but ignore what my friend said. I type my name in Google, swallowing at the lump in my throat. What pops up, to my dismay, are not just one, but multiple different articles and pictures of Jin and I from the party last night.
"Kim Seok-jin, from the movie, "It's Definitely You," had an affair on ex-wife Kim Yongseo,"
"Yoo Mirae, Co-Host of Late Show and Kim Seok-jin, from "It's Definitely You" seem to have a feud regarding the affair on his now ex-wife Kim Yongseo,"
"Kim Seok-jin furious at the relentless Yoo Mirae for 'tempting' him into the affair,"
My eyes flash through the titles, the queasiness in my stomach growing with each one I read. Just when I think the lies can't get any worse, another article causes me to heave,
"Yoo Mirae has an abortion after her affair with Kim Seok-jin"

[Written by: MalikMe21 / JHopeMe21 (Tumblr)]

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