BTS Actor Series

The clicks are everywhere, surrounding me with every step I take.
"If you're gonna have an affair on someone, at least make sure they're pretty first"
No matter where I turn, no matter where I go, someone is there following me.
"Wow an affair and an abortion? That c**t deserves to rot"
Pain overpowers me, and my hands begin to shake as I try to push the comments out of my mind. How in the world can anyone say things like that about a human being they have never met?
"That bitch better watch out, that's my man"
I didn't even know Jin was married at the time, and if I would have known, nothing would have happened. I would have never stooped as low as to having an affair with someone.
My heart thuds in my chest as I rush around the corner trying to get to the nearest bus stop. My head is covered with a floral cloth and I'm wearing large sunglasses to cover my eyes. I just came from a grocery store and ended up leaving empty handed. The magazines have Jin and I's faces planted on almost all of them, and I just couldn't stand there with the paranoia of someone recognizing me. The rush has my head spinning the second I pay the bus driver and find an empty seat on the bus. I cuddle up to the corner with a window trying to keep my face as hidden as possible. It never ends. It feels like I'm being hunted, as if all of this is a game. And, it's the worst feeling in the world.
As people continue to board the bus, my eyes, through the tint of my sun glasses, land on someone who seems familiar to me. She's beautiful, I admire, and she's wearing a dark cloth on her head, dark lipstick, as well as a pair of sunglasses to go along with what happens to be an insanely sunny day. As I watch her find a seat, I continue looking at the fine curve of her jaw, the dainty pink shirt and skirt she's wearing and the way she carries her purse.... My eyes widen as the flashback from two years ago hits me. No. No, it can't be. It can't-
It's Jin's ex-wife.
I have been staring at Jin's ex-wife. I bury myself even further in my seat as panic fills me. She takes a seat a few rows away from me on the left side of the bus. After what seems like forever, the bus begins to move and so many thoughts swarm in my head. Where has she been? How has she been? How are we on the same bus? What do I do? What if she sees me? Nothing at all can stop the swirling questions, and it's taking everything in me not to hurl on my shoes.
After about twenty minutes the bus stops, and I see her stand. Before I can even process anything, I find myself on my feet moving towards the bus entrance a few people behind her. My eyes stay glued to her as everyone exits the bus. I'm breathing heavy but try to keep quiet as I follow the direction she's heading. The only thing I can hear is the pounding of my heart and the breaths I'm trying to steady as the click of her heels fade around a city corner. There's a lot of people out today, and I try to blend myself in as best as possible as I round the same corner. Why I'm following her I don't know, but something in me just wants to know if she's okay. Even if I'm too scared to face her, maybe just knowing where she's headed will give me a sense of peace.
Walking another five more minutes, me keeping my distance as I remain behind her. I realize the streets are beginning to appear emptier and emptier, and once we round another corner, she stops. Pausing, I pin my back against one of the buildings, closing my eyes and holding my breath. Waiting a few more seconds, I peer around the corner to see her still standing there, her back facing me. From what I can tell, she's typing on her cell phone. Is she waiting for someone? She raises her head and looks to her side, and I jump back out of sight. I never thought I was a crazy person, but I think I just proved myself wrong.
After a moment, I look around the corner again, this time what I see catches me by surprise. A black SUV, like what I ride in to the Late show and many events, parks in front of her. She throws her phone in her purse as a man exits the passenger side of the vehicle. A huge, boxy smile fills his face as a sweet-sounding laugh comes from her lips. The man envelops her in a huge hug as they rock from side to side. He wears a velvet, dark green pantsuit, a bandana on his head as his light brown hair falls onto his forehead. He stands tall, sunglasses covering his eyes. As the two pull away, he puts his hands on the sides of her face and kisses her.
My heart melts at the sight as happy tears fill my eyes. She seems so happy and that's really all I could have asked for. The couple briefly look from left to right as if to make sure no one is watching them. Suddenly, the familiarity of the man hits me. I have seen him before. As he grabs her hand, the image of the after-party invitation hits me. The two take a seat in the SUV, and I pin myself against the building once more hoping as they drive by, they won't notice the awkward girl that is me standing there. Once the car disappears further into the street, I turn around and head into the direction of my home. It'll be about a fifteen-minute walk from here, but it doesn't matter. All I know is the walk will give me a chance to process what I've just witnessed.
I pull out my phone and my fingers fly over the keys as to what I think his name is in the Google search. "It's Definitely You..." I read from the few pictures that are popping up. Wait... Isn't that?The cover of the movie continues to fill my phone screen and I click a photo waiting for it to magnify. Sure enough, the cover has the picture of the man I just saw, and shock fills me with what I see next. It's Kim Taehyung alright, but that's not what I'm surprised by. The other name on the cover, the name that I never say aloud, the one person I try to avoid, the one that mentioned he was in a movie recently and I've finally put two in two together,
Is none other than Jin, the co-star of the man who now has his ex-wife.
*
I slept with a man that happened to be married two years ago. The both of us became famous, him more than I. Paparazzi happened to leak pictures of the man and I at a party for a movie he happened to be in. They overheard our conversation about the affair, fabricated it into something more than what it really was. Apparently, I've had an abortion even though a baby was never in my uterus to begin with. My Late show job is in jeopardy. I haven't eaten in days. And, I witnessed Kim Taehyung smooching on Jin's ex-wife.
My nerves are so shot from the past few weeks that I'm not sure if I have feelings anymore. Taking a seat on my couch, I stir at the hot chocolate in my mug waiting for it to cool down before I take a sip. My boss from the Late show contacted me today concerned about the affect the rumors about me have had on both our jobs. If I hadn't already been stressed enough, my boss just multiplied it by a million. Curling my legs beneath me, I take another sip from the steaming hot chocolate. Thankfully I have enough money to last me a while until I can gain a new job, but the money was never the factor for me, it was a matter of doing something I enjoyed. Now, it's hard to really enjoy anything.
Even my parents have been upset. Not at me but upset that they haven't been able to see me since I've been in hiding. My friends have been distressed as well, wishing I could go to events with them, but I can't risk the press pulling them into a mess that was never theirs to begin with.
I thought I was lonely before. But, right now, sitting on the couch, staring at the wall, I've never been so lonely. Honestly, it's more than that.
I feel empty.
As I begin to take another sip of my drink, the doorbell rings. Confusion fills me as I furrow my eyebrows. I'm not expecting anyone. Setting my mug, on the side table, I walk to the door, and slightly open it enough to peek and see who it is. No way.
Jin stares at me, desperation in his eyes.
"What are you doing here!? And, how the hell did you find-"
He cuts me off, "I can explain." I feel light headed as shock consumes me, taking everything in me to hold back my anger. Blinking a few times, I rub my fingers to my forehead, a small whimper escaping my lips. Before I can comprehend what's going on, my knees buckle, my eyes roll back-
"Mirae!" I hear a frantic voice sound, darkness taking over before I hit the ground.
*FLASHBACK*
"So um, would you like to take a walk?"
When I look up at him, he's smiling, I tilt my head to the side returning the same smile, "I'd love to."
We walk slowly down the path, feeling his arm brush mine every now and then. The butterflies I have in my stomach are making me feel warm even as the wind picks up.
"So, do you have any other plans today?" Jin speaks up as he looks over at me.
My smile returns as I look toward the path. "I do not. What about you?" I turn to look at him once more.
"I don't either which then leads me to my next question." He says, wetting his lips.
"Go on." I press.
"There is a coffee shop about ten minutes from here," Jin says, and I realize we're walking even closer side by side than we were a few minutes ago. "It's very cozy and they have some of the best coffee I've ever had. If you would like, I'd love to take you there."
"I think that is a fabulous idea."
He nods once, "Alright, the coffee shop it is!"
I can't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm especially the rest of the walk there. "Okay so if you thought that one was funny, just wait." Jin holds his hand out in front of him, "What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?" Jin pauses for effect, while I hold back from laughing. "A meltdown!"
"Where in the world do you come up with this stuff?" I wonder, still giggling at his previous joke.
Jin shrugs his shoulders, "Google." He admits which causes me to laugh even harder. "Just wait, I have one more." He clears his throat. "What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?" He looks at me pretending to wait for an answer, "A receding hare line!"
Still laughing, we arrive at the coffee shop, the strong smell of it hitting my nose as the warm air rushes to us. Jin asks what I would like still recovering from his goofiness, and he orders. Once we have our coffees in hand, we take a seat on one of the couches in the empty lounge. The lights are dim which brings comfort, and without thinking, Jin and I sit so close our shoulders are touching.
"Sorry," I murmur, scooting a few inches away from him to give him some space. I haven't been on a date, if that's what this has turned into, since I've moved to the city a few months ago, so it feels nice to finally get to know someone that is a possible date interest. I feel a blush creep to my cheeks.
"Don't be sorry." He grins. Right then, he moves closer to me, his shoulder touching mine. Before I can think, he gently puts his arm around my shoulders and gives me a tender squeeze; his handsome face so close I could kiss him. We hold eyes for a moment, and timidly I look away and stare at my coffee. Something about this human beside me has really found a way to make me nervous, and it typically takes a lot for me to get nervous. It's also taking everything in me not to grab his face and kiss him; or, cuddle my face into his chest.
"What brought you to the city?" He asks, looking down at his coffee then returning his eyes to me. I take a quick sip of my coffee before answering, "My job mostly. Plus, it's a new scenery too. I grew up more in the country."
Jin takes a sip of his coffee before continuing, "Do you like the city better?"
I think about it for a moment, "I do, and I don't. The country is quieter, whereas the city has more noise. I do enjoy certain areas of the city, like the park, some of the shops around here." I shrug my shoulders, then turn to look at Jin. "What about you? What got you into acting?"
Jin looks ahead for a moment, "It was always a dream of mine, even when I was younger. I graduated from Konkuk University with a degree in acting and art last year."
"Oh wow. That's amazing." I compliment. "I know earlier you mentioned you had an audition tomorrow, are you nervous?"
Jin tilts his head to the side still looking ahead, "I am, but I'm also excited. I'm not sure exactly which role I'll land, but I'm hoping for a movie."
"Good luck." I smile, "I think you'll do just fine."
Jin looks over at me and smiles, pulling on my heart strings, "Thank you."
We continue talking about our dream jobs, me admitting how I would like to host a show one day. For some reason, the conversation then leads to food which Jin gets very excited. "Oh, I need to cook for you sometime!" He exclaims. "You have to try some of my favorite dishes I make! But, I have one question for you,"
"What's that?" Curiosity fills me for a moment.
"Do you know what raw duck is?" Jin looks at me with a straight face. Sitting back, his arm still around my shoulders, I furrow my eyebrows together trying to think of what it could be.
"I'm not really sure actually." Looking at him with defeat. "What is it?"
A grin starts to form on Jin's face as he holds back laughter, "Tornado."
"Oh," I bury my face in my hands as Jin ruptures into a fit of laughter.
"You took me seriously didn't you?" He says between laughs.
We finish our coffees after an hour or so then make our way outside. We stand a few feet apart, each of us bundling our hands in our pockets from the cold.
"Do you have any pets?" Jin asks randomly and it catches me off guard.
"No, I don't." I pout. "I do have pets back in the country, they live with my parents since my apartment doesn't allow them. What about you?"
"I have a sugar glider." Jin answers, and I look over at him in surprise. "His name is Odengie."
"That is the cutest thing ever. I've actually never seen one in person before!"
"Oh, you'll have to meet him sometime." Jin says, our smiles fall for a moment.
"Thank you, by the way." I mention, the cold wind starting to pick up. Taking a walk instead of staying in my apartment this morning ended up being a wonderful idea despite the weather.
"Anytime."Jin smiles, his eyes boring into mine. Before I can stop myself, I'm already to him, my hands on his shoulders, my lips meeting his. I feel Jin's hands on my waist as he pulls me even closer to him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I feel my smile as I continue to kiss him.
When we pull away, I can't even put into words how perfect this moment is. The only sad part about all of it is I don't want him to go, and I'm beginning to get the feeling that he doesn't want me to go either, especially with the way he's looking at me.
Jin looks as if he's struggling to talk, "There's um, there's- there's something wrong with my cellphone."
Confusion fills me, as I stare at him blankly, "What? Did you drop it?"
"I don't have your number in it." Jin slips his phone from his pocket and hands it to me. Laughter erupts from me as I type in my phone number.
"This has never happened to me before." Tears are in my eyes, I'm laughing so hard. Jin wraps his arm around my waist once he puts his phone back in his pocket.
We start walking down the sidewalk away from the coffee shop. I'm not sure where are next destination will be, but at the moment I don't care. All I know is I'm having fun with this handsome stranger who has a sugar glider and has a passion for cooking and acting and kisses like an angel.
As we continue walking, I look at him and steal a quick kiss. Nothing in the world can ruin this moment. Absolutely nothing.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
The smell of chicken broth fills my nose as my eyes flutter open. Groggy, it takes me a moment to realize where I am. My head is throbbing, and I rub my forehead with my fingers gently; slowly, I sit up then lean forward, my favorite blanket over my legs. A few clinking sounds come from the kitchen, and the memory of Jin arriving who knows how long ago resurfaces.
I passed out, I realize, frustrated tears welling in my eyes. I feel so weak that I just don't want to move. "Hey, hey, hey, hey-" His voice is soft as he rushes to me, holding out his hands as if to catch me if I were to fall again. I can't even bring myself to say a word, so I sit in silence. Jin reaches slowly to feel my forehead, "You're burning up." He jogs to the kitchen. Hearing liquid being poured into a bowl, his footsteps are careful as he walks back to me. I try to lift my arms, but they don't budge. Jin takes a seat on a mini step stool he must have brought from the kitchen and spoons some of what looks to be chicken noodle soup; he offers it to me. Skeptical, I hesitate a moment, flicking my eyes toward his. He can see the doubt in mine, but he gestures the spoon and bowl slightly trying to convince me to trust him. It's not that I think he is going to poison me or anything, it's the wonder of why he's even here to begin with. I accept the spoonful of soup, the heavenly taste bringing a sense of relief to my body. Jin continues to feed me until the soup is gone.
"Here," He says setting the empty bowl aside, he offers me a glass of water he must have kept on the side table. I down about half the glass. With a sweet grin, he then takes the empty bowl and I hear him set it in the sink along with him refilling my glass of water. When he returns to me, I muster just enough strength to speak, "Why-" I clear my throat, "Why are you doing this?"
Jin takes a seat on the mini step stool, I can see relief in his eyes to hear my voice. He stares at his hands and murmurs, "I wanted to see you."
"But, how did you-" I begin.
"I paid Stan."
The look on my face, I don't even want to know what it looked like. I look away from Jin, not sure if I should be angry or what. Instead I let out a chuckle,"You bribed my driver?"
Jin breathes a small laugh returning his eyes to his hands, "Maybe."
Shaking my head, I decide to lean back onto my pillow, relieving some of the throbbing from my head. As much as I want to believe he is a good person, it's hard to.What happened two years ago isn't something I can just brush off and pretend never happened. Especially with what's going on right now. And even though I should be angry, I want to be angry, 100% infuriated- I can't. I'm so physically and mentally drained, I just can't.
"Thank you," I whisper. Jin lifts his head, his mouth ajar, eyes wide. A tear slips down my cheek. I don't want to fight this anymore. He's already told me he's sorry, and here he is, right beside me making sure I'm getting taken care of. On top of that, I'm not alone. For the first time since this whole scandal began, I'm not alone.
I meet his eyes, and right then the tears fall, they fall and fall. Jin rushes to me and wraps me in his arms. My body shakes as I bury my face in his chest; all the pain, all the anger, all the stress, all the depression, and all the guilt flowing down my face. I don't want it anymore. None of it.
As I wrap my arms around him, I feel his chin quiver against the side of my head. He doesn't say a word.
He just lets me cry.
[Written by: MalikMe21 / JHopeMe21 (Tumblr)]

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