Insight
10:
"Jimin? What are you doing here?”
“I was..here to check up on you and to..encourage you to go to the lantern festival with me but uh, I see you been out with...cleaner boy there.” He tilted his head towards me.
Cleaner boy!? Oh wait, right, I did clean her whole apartment, but still how rude!
Subin closed her eyes deeply sighing for a minute then turned her head looking back at me again and then waving, “I’ll see you soon Jeongguk.” giving me a reassuring look. I nod my head and then looked at Jimin only this time he was only focusing on Subin who was still looking back at me, his jaw was slowly shifting from side to side something he only did when he was annoyed or upset. I don't understand what's he's upset about...
I finally got back to the dorm it was pretty late, I saw Hoseok was asleep already. I quickly changed out of my clothes into a t-shirt and some sweatpants then collapsing into the bed. It was a great night, I’m so glad I got to spend it with Subin. I closed my eyes trying to fall asleep but my mind wouldn’t rest. I was wondering what it would have been like if I were still alive. We would have been married by now, having a kid or two, me probably getting promoted at work and..Subin actually being happy teaching what she loves.
But most importantly just her being happy.
“I’ll see you soon Jeongguk.” I wonder when that’ll be...she...really wants to see me again I smiled to myself. My eyes got heavy and the next thing I know I was dreaming.
I wasn't in a body...but I see someone.
..Jeongguk? What's he doing?
Suddenly it was getting harder to breath like I'm drowning, it burns so bad, it was so hard to move, to fight to get to the surface, my limbs were so heavy. I was just sinking... I kept sinking and sinking all the way to the bottom.
I woke up gasping for air covered in sweat, my nose and throat felt like it was on fire. What the hell, was I really drowning? Why did it feel so real??
"Whoa whoa whoa man, take it easy, are you okay Jeongguk-ah?" Hoseok was by my side with a grave look on his face, I couldn't speak, "Dude, you were all over the place laying down like you were fighting for your life, did you have a nightmare?"
A nightmare? It literally felt like I was drowning for real! I couldn't process anything, Hoseok got up from my side to get me a bottle of water, "Here," he handed it to me, I gently took it from him still unable to speak, I was basically in shock.
"Whatever it is, you can always talk to me Jeongguk," Hoseok walks over to get back into his bed, "whatever trouble it may be I'm always ears." he finishes before turning over going back to sleep.
I wish I could Hoseok, but I'm not even sure what's going on my damn self.
