Just A Number

“Baby I’m so sorry I didn’t call you on your birthday! Ugh, I was just so busy with work, then taking care of your grandfather…” “It’s okay mom really,” I say over video chat on my phone, “How’s grandpa doing anyways?” “He’s, well, he’s right here,” mom pans the phone over to grandpa who seems to be looking at the TV,

“Dad, say Happy Birthday to Yuna,” his blue eyes shifted over to her phone, he squints his eyes, “Ah, Johanna what are you doing in there?,” “Dad, I’m Johanna, this is my daughter, YOUR granddaughter Yuna,” he looks up at my mom a little puzzled, “She looks a little different,” “Yes because she’s Korean dad, you were married to one remember?” he rubs his chin concentrating, my mom sighs and looks back at the phone,

“He’s slowly losing his memory,” “I see,” I muttered, it was pretty depressing seeing my once strong grandfather forgetting things and kind of…me and I know it really must hurt my mom. “Yuna, where are you exactly?” she concentrates her eyes on the background, I was sitting outside on the beach, I didn’t mention I was in the Philippines to her, “Uh…Philippines?”

“what?? Why are you in the Philippines, who are you with??” and I think I failed to tell her I also have a boyfriend…a famous one. You know what, I failed to tell her everything. It took me almost half an hour to explain to her everything about Jungkook, our relationship and how it’s a big secret.

Her face was just showing me confusion, “Baby, I’m glad you moved on, really, I’m glad you’re not with Yoo--, that guy,” she says mindful, “I just don’t want you to get hurt again, I mean what you went through just…broke my heart,” “Yeah mom I know, I’m cautious with him, he seems really different though, honest.” She nods her head, still looking worried. “Have you…spoken with your father?”

Ugh, I don’t know why she always bothers to ask, I always reply with the same answer, “no mom, I have not spoken to him in over 10 years,” “I see,” she sighs, “Well…I spoken to him recently,” I looked up at my phone with wide eyes, “What?” “He called me and asked me about you,” “H-how did he get your number, what, me?” “he always had my number, we communicated when I made you visit him back then,”

“And? What did he want?” I rolled my eyes, she sighs, “Your father…your father is sick, he has heart disease,” I didn’t say anything, I didn’t know what I was supposed to say, “He really wants to see you Yuna,” “I don’t know mom, that’s…I don’t know,” “If I can forgive your father, then why can’t you? I have forgiven him many years ago, I am content with my life, I’m not angry anymore.”

I remained quiet, looking out into the ocean, “I have to go now, but please, at least see him, for me. I love you be safe.” “I love you too mom,” I put my phone in my pocket and laid down on the sand, it was still pretty early and no one was at the beach. It was hard to sleep last night knowing I upset Jungkook again.

“What are you doing out here?” I lifted my head up and saw Jungkook walking towards me, he had two water bottles in his hands, “I just…needed some air,” I muttered. He sat next to me handing me a bottle, “Thanks,” we both sat quiet watching the little waves crashing on shore, the sound of it was just so soothing, “Yuna about last night,” he interrupted, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what made me get like that, I just, I was just stupid.” He twitched his lips,



“No, I get it,” I say messing with the sand below my feet, “I really like you Jungkook, I just, need you to be patient with me it’s just hard to 100% move on because everyone who goes through a breakup gets some sort of closure, as for me…I don’t. I’m learning how to deal with it day by day, and so far, you’ve been helping.” I smiled at him, he looks down and started playing with the sand too, “Well, can you at least tell me about him?"

Notes