So Much For Being Siblings
Four Heartbeats Too Late
(Warning, mentions of suicide and killing)
Kana P.O.V.
As I was heading back to my girl friends, Lucas ran towards my direction. I tried to play dumb and pretended not to see him as I headed to another route. However, he was not stupid, he did not give me the chance. “Kana!” Lucas said, waving his hands at my direction. I sighed.
‘Let’s just try to deal with it and get over this crap quickly.’ I thought to myself.
I spun around and gave him a cold face. “What.”
“Aw, come on, don’t be like that. I was going to ask you to go to home-coming with me.” Lucas said.
I blinked once, then twice. Was he out of his mind, had mental problems, or was he just straight up retarded? “I don’t know how much more stupid you can get, I don’t want to know, but the answer is fuck no, and you should’ve known that. Now go away, I have my own business to attend to.”
Then his expression changed. Well, it changed but it didn’t at the same time. It was more like the feeling it gave off changed. Something in his eyes. They were hallow, empty. Cold. Evil.
“Babe, that’s not the answer I wanted.” He said in a low tone and then out of nowhere, her pulled out a pocket knife, and pointed it at me.
I broke out into cold sweat. Lucas definitely has mental problems. Is he a psycho now? “Lucas. Calm down. Put that knife now. This instant.” I said, backing up from him, but my back facing away from him since I didn’t want to risk that psycho stabbing me from the back.
He cocked he head sideways innocently. “Oh Kana, you don’t have a say in my actions. You don’t listen to what I say. And don’t bother screaming. If you call for help, I’ll kill you right here.”
He started walking towards me and I was starting to hyperventilate. ‘I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to die.”
I looked up at the hallway clocks. It was 12:57pm. 3 minutes. I stay alive for 3 minutes and kids from classes out come out from the class rooms and stop this psycho for me. “Do you love me?” I asked him.
He smiled a soft smile at me, but it still sent me creeps. “Of course I do!”
“Then why?” I asked, tears now dripping down my cheeks. Burning hot tears. I was crying for my life. People who haven’t been in this situation would never understand the feeling of having your life at someone else’s mercy. “Why are you doing this? If you really love me, then why would you threaten to kill me?”
Even though I hated Lucas, I didn’t hate him enough to want him to be ill and go crazy mentally. That can really torture one’s soul. Because I believed some part of him was still good. Even though I don’t think that part of him would ever be shown again.
Step by step, slowly, he walked towards me. Step by step, I backed up. It seemed like an eternity. I was terrified of the feeling of the wall hitting my back, I would have no way out. He kept walking towards me and forced me into a corner. ‘No. No. I’ve seen this in way too many horror and thriller movies. This is too cliché. There’s no way I’m going to die like this. It’s a dream. It’s a dream. It’s a dream’ I kept repeating to myself. I looked at the clock. 12:59pm., the bell was about to ring. Please ring. I don’t want to die.
“You want to know why?” He whispered, then took a final step.
Lucas leaned and placed his head next to my ear, ready to whisper something to my ear.
Jimin P.O.V.
I was standing by a hallway window, looking out into the school garden, thinking about what Taehyung has said to me. He was right. I know he was. He was basically repeating what the logical side of my head was telling me. I don’t accept it though. I don’t want to.
“Jimin-ah!” I heard someone call. I turned to find Hoseok. I’ve known Hoseok for so long. He used to deal with extreme depression. He was a drug addict at a young age. And so was I. I had to deal with my parents’ divorce and I wanted to commit suicide. There’s a saying that you attract the type of people that are similar to you. Maybe that’s how I bumped into Hoseok. I was about to jump off a building when I saw Hoseok ready to jump. I can still recall the memory clearly.
*flashback*
I headed up the stairs and opened the door to the roof top. I am now on the roof of a huge 32 floor building. If I jump off here, I can surely escape all the troubles in my life. I wouldn’t have to deal with all the problems I have. Nothing. I would be in peace. As I walked towards the edge of the building, I saw a guy with messy brown hair, using the rails on the side of the building to life himself above it.
He was about to commit suicide.
I don’t know how I rushed to this stranger so quickly, and I don’t know why I did, but I ran towards this man and stopped him from jumping. “Stop!” I screamed. I used all the energy I had left to yank him back, though I didn’t possess much at that moment since I had been starving myself for over a week.
“Life is worth living!” I told him.
Then this stranger turned around.
I could somewhat see this guy’s eyes under his bangs. He has extremely dark under eye bags and looks half starved. He looked just as bad if not worse than me. His coat smelled like alcohol. “And what in life is worthy enough for me not to die?” He questioned me.
At that moment, I was left speechless. I couldn’t answer that question myself. After all, I came here to commit suicide too. So why did I care to help someone else? I didn’t know.
After a long period of silence, he left out a sad chuckle. “See? You don’t know either. And from how you look, you don’t look much better than me. Tell me, kid, why are you here?”
I looked down on the ground. I couldn’t tell him that. I’d be a hypocrite. He’d just laugh and maybe literally not consider not committing suicide and live life.
“You’re the same as me aren’t you? You came here to do what I was just about to do right?”
I didn’t bother lying at that point. I broke.
“Yeah.”
“Why?” He asked.
Why. Why. Why. That question. Can one going through depression really answer it in words? “I feel like no one cares. I feel like the world is coming apart. My parents are getting a divorce. They’re saying if I weren’t born, they would still be together. They said I am a burden. They used to say they love me. But now that I think about it, I wonder how much they used to love me. If they loved me at all.”
And then somehow we just sat down, on that rooftop, spilling every emotion I had out into tears, crying out for nobody but a stranger to hear. “I feel like nothing. I’m absolutely worthless...”
At that time I didn’t know this guy’s name was Hoseok, I didn’t know we would end up going to the same high-school. We didn’t even know each other’s name. But he sat down listened to me and comforted me.
We didn’t end our lives that day. We became each other’s support.
*end of flashback*
“Hey Hoseok!” I said, greeting him happily. “What’s up?”
Then I noticed his face. Something was wrong. After he defeated and got over his depressing state, he was a ball of sunshine. Today, he looked different. What was wrong?
“Hoseok...Did something happen?” I asked, worried about him.
“I’m just tired, I need to ask you something, by the way.” He said. “This will take probably like two minutes, real quick. I’m not sure if this would embarrass you, considering how many people are here, let’s head somewhere else to talk.”
“Okay, sure.” I said as Hoseok and I headed to somewhere less chaotic in the hallways. Free period was about to end. I looked at my watch,
12:59pm.
Hoseok and I turned the corner.
Kana’s P.O.V.
I felt his breath on my ear as he whispered:
“If I can’t have you, then no one will.”
And then I felt a sharp pain on my left abdomen. Lucas must’ve stabbed me. Maybe it was the pain, but the sound of my own heartbeat was suddenly hammering into my eardrums.
Ba-dum
Ba-dum
In a short period of a few seconds, the world started spinning. Ba-dum. And before I collapsed. I swore I saw someone, or maybe two people, turn into the corner. Ba-dum.
But it was too late.
Four heartbeats too late.
Kana P.O.V.
As I was heading back to my girl friends, Lucas ran towards my direction. I tried to play dumb and pretended not to see him as I headed to another route. However, he was not stupid, he did not give me the chance. “Kana!” Lucas said, waving his hands at my direction. I sighed.
‘Let’s just try to deal with it and get over this crap quickly.’ I thought to myself.
I spun around and gave him a cold face. “What.”
“Aw, come on, don’t be like that. I was going to ask you to go to home-coming with me.” Lucas said.
I blinked once, then twice. Was he out of his mind, had mental problems, or was he just straight up retarded? “I don’t know how much more stupid you can get, I don’t want to know, but the answer is fuck no, and you should’ve known that. Now go away, I have my own business to attend to.”
Then his expression changed. Well, it changed but it didn’t at the same time. It was more like the feeling it gave off changed. Something in his eyes. They were hallow, empty. Cold. Evil.
“Babe, that’s not the answer I wanted.” He said in a low tone and then out of nowhere, her pulled out a pocket knife, and pointed it at me.
I broke out into cold sweat. Lucas definitely has mental problems. Is he a psycho now? “Lucas. Calm down. Put that knife now. This instant.” I said, backing up from him, but my back facing away from him since I didn’t want to risk that psycho stabbing me from the back.
He cocked he head sideways innocently. “Oh Kana, you don’t have a say in my actions. You don’t listen to what I say. And don’t bother screaming. If you call for help, I’ll kill you right here.”
He started walking towards me and I was starting to hyperventilate. ‘I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to die.”
I looked up at the hallway clocks. It was 12:57pm. 3 minutes. I stay alive for 3 minutes and kids from classes out come out from the class rooms and stop this psycho for me. “Do you love me?” I asked him.
He smiled a soft smile at me, but it still sent me creeps. “Of course I do!”
“Then why?” I asked, tears now dripping down my cheeks. Burning hot tears. I was crying for my life. People who haven’t been in this situation would never understand the feeling of having your life at someone else’s mercy. “Why are you doing this? If you really love me, then why would you threaten to kill me?”
Even though I hated Lucas, I didn’t hate him enough to want him to be ill and go crazy mentally. That can really torture one’s soul. Because I believed some part of him was still good. Even though I don’t think that part of him would ever be shown again.
Step by step, slowly, he walked towards me. Step by step, I backed up. It seemed like an eternity. I was terrified of the feeling of the wall hitting my back, I would have no way out. He kept walking towards me and forced me into a corner. ‘No. No. I’ve seen this in way too many horror and thriller movies. This is too cliché. There’s no way I’m going to die like this. It’s a dream. It’s a dream. It’s a dream’ I kept repeating to myself. I looked at the clock. 12:59pm., the bell was about to ring. Please ring. I don’t want to die.
“You want to know why?” He whispered, then took a final step.
Lucas leaned and placed his head next to my ear, ready to whisper something to my ear.
Jimin P.O.V.
I was standing by a hallway window, looking out into the school garden, thinking about what Taehyung has said to me. He was right. I know he was. He was basically repeating what the logical side of my head was telling me. I don’t accept it though. I don’t want to.
“Jimin-ah!” I heard someone call. I turned to find Hoseok. I’ve known Hoseok for so long. He used to deal with extreme depression. He was a drug addict at a young age. And so was I. I had to deal with my parents’ divorce and I wanted to commit suicide. There’s a saying that you attract the type of people that are similar to you. Maybe that’s how I bumped into Hoseok. I was about to jump off a building when I saw Hoseok ready to jump. I can still recall the memory clearly.
*flashback*
I headed up the stairs and opened the door to the roof top. I am now on the roof of a huge 32 floor building. If I jump off here, I can surely escape all the troubles in my life. I wouldn’t have to deal with all the problems I have. Nothing. I would be in peace. As I walked towards the edge of the building, I saw a guy with messy brown hair, using the rails on the side of the building to life himself above it.
He was about to commit suicide.
I don’t know how I rushed to this stranger so quickly, and I don’t know why I did, but I ran towards this man and stopped him from jumping. “Stop!” I screamed. I used all the energy I had left to yank him back, though I didn’t possess much at that moment since I had been starving myself for over a week.
“Life is worth living!” I told him.
Then this stranger turned around.
I could somewhat see this guy’s eyes under his bangs. He has extremely dark under eye bags and looks half starved. He looked just as bad if not worse than me. His coat smelled like alcohol. “And what in life is worthy enough for me not to die?” He questioned me.
At that moment, I was left speechless. I couldn’t answer that question myself. After all, I came here to commit suicide too. So why did I care to help someone else? I didn’t know.
After a long period of silence, he left out a sad chuckle. “See? You don’t know either. And from how you look, you don’t look much better than me. Tell me, kid, why are you here?”
I looked down on the ground. I couldn’t tell him that. I’d be a hypocrite. He’d just laugh and maybe literally not consider not committing suicide and live life.
“You’re the same as me aren’t you? You came here to do what I was just about to do right?”
I didn’t bother lying at that point. I broke.
“Yeah.”
“Why?” He asked.
Why. Why. Why. That question. Can one going through depression really answer it in words? “I feel like no one cares. I feel like the world is coming apart. My parents are getting a divorce. They’re saying if I weren’t born, they would still be together. They said I am a burden. They used to say they love me. But now that I think about it, I wonder how much they used to love me. If they loved me at all.”
And then somehow we just sat down, on that rooftop, spilling every emotion I had out into tears, crying out for nobody but a stranger to hear. “I feel like nothing. I’m absolutely worthless...”
At that time I didn’t know this guy’s name was Hoseok, I didn’t know we would end up going to the same high-school. We didn’t even know each other’s name. But he sat down listened to me and comforted me.
We didn’t end our lives that day. We became each other’s support.
*end of flashback*
“Hey Hoseok!” I said, greeting him happily. “What’s up?”
Then I noticed his face. Something was wrong. After he defeated and got over his depressing state, he was a ball of sunshine. Today, he looked different. What was wrong?
“Hoseok...Did something happen?” I asked, worried about him.
“I’m just tired, I need to ask you something, by the way.” He said. “This will take probably like two minutes, real quick. I’m not sure if this would embarrass you, considering how many people are here, let’s head somewhere else to talk.”
“Okay, sure.” I said as Hoseok and I headed to somewhere less chaotic in the hallways. Free period was about to end. I looked at my watch,
12:59pm.
Hoseok and I turned the corner.
Kana’s P.O.V.
I felt his breath on my ear as he whispered:
“If I can’t have you, then no one will.”
And then I felt a sharp pain on my left abdomen. Lucas must’ve stabbed me. Maybe it was the pain, but the sound of my own heartbeat was suddenly hammering into my eardrums.
Ba-dum
Ba-dum
In a short period of a few seconds, the world started spinning. Ba-dum. And before I collapsed. I swore I saw someone, or maybe two people, turn into the corner. Ba-dum.
But it was too late.
Four heartbeats too late.
Notes
OMG. I actually wrote over over 1,500 words! I was really pumped to write this chapter today!!! Wheeeeee!!!~
(BTW, ARMYs! Get ready to vote for BTS at MAMA! Our boys deserve to win! That's why we fight for them. We are NOT voting for them out of hatred for another group. We vote because we love BTS, not because he hate so and so. So let's work hard and so the VERY BEST we can for our kings, BTS!)
P.S. Sorry, but i'm too busy to put pictures that fir for this. After all, I spent quite some time writing, lol, and excuse typos, error ect...
Hope you guys enjoyed, CHIMCHIM-XOXO4EVER out!~
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1/5/18