So Much For Being Siblings

I turned my head back just a little, not enough for anyone to see, but enough to see Linda’s face. She was on the edge of crying. Her nose was pink, and her eyes were watering up fast. She was also opening her eyes as wide as possible while looking up to the ceiling. She always did this when she didn’t want her tears to fall down. Being her friend, I could tell.
What happened?
She was fine two seconds ago. Was it something I said?

*At Lunch*

It was only at lunch did I notice that Hee-Young was not even at school. I was too busy trying to figure out what was bothering Linda. If A-Yeon didn’t tell me, I doubt I would’ve realized Hee-Young didn’t make it to school today. I'm SUCH a great friend. (sarcasm)

“Do you know what happened to Hee-Young?” A-Yeon questioned.
I shook my head, temporarily pushing back my worries about Linda for the moment. “No. Is she sick?” I asked A-Yeon, concerned.

A-Yeon shook her head to this. “No. But I heard from her mother that Hee-Young isn’t feeling well emotionally. something is really wrong. She’s locking herself inside her room. SHE’S NOT EVEN EATING. But she also told her mother not to let anyone see her. So I never got the chance to visit.”

I furrowed my brows. “She sees like a happy person. Do you have any idea what it might be about?”

“Sadly, I don’t. Everyone seems to be in a bad mood today. Linda seems down. Sadako, well I’m not so sure about her, she’s just staring into space, and you don’t seem like your usual hype self. Is something wrong for you too?”

I bit my lip, “Well, no. not really. It’s just I noticed Linda seemed really upset about something. But I don’t know what. I want to ask her about it, but I’m not sure if I should. I’m just worried that all. No need to worry about me. I’m fine.”

Just then, Jimin made his way through the crowed cafeteria table filled with students and appeared beside me. “Kana! Come heeeere~ I need to speak to you.” He said in a bubbly voice as he took my hand and dragged me out of the student cafeteria. Being worried about Linda and her wellbeing, I took a quick glance at her to see she’s staring into space while absent mindedly twirling her brown hair with her fingers. Maybe she was just thinking.

I hope.

When Jimin and I got outside, I asked, “What do you want, Park Jimin.”

Wow. That came out a lot more aggressive than I wanted to be. But that good I guess. Maybe if I’m mean enough he’ll be mean too, and it’ll be easier for me to get over him. And then that’ll be one of my problems solved. But part of me didn't want Jimin to hate me.

“Hey. Why are you so mean these days? Did I do something wrong?” Jimin questioned, seeming genuinely worried that he wronged me somehow.

I shook him off. “No. I just don’t lie you that much. So get to the point. I have other things to deal with you know. I don’t have as much spare time as you, Chim.”

He let out a short sigh, “Okay fine. So basically since our parents are not going to be home for a few days-“

I cut him off. “My mother, and your son of a bitch of a father.”

He looked hurt for a second, but quickly recovered. “I was saying, since they are going to be out, I want to let a friend live with us for a while.”

I was about to protest as Jimin stopped me. “Wait. Let me explain. He’s our classmate. Kim Taehyung. He got in a fight with his parents. A big one. They are kicking him out of the house. Don’t know for how long. But since he’s my friend I want to give him a hand since I have the ability to. I don’t want the poor guy to sleep outside for who knows how long. He’s sleeping with me, so don’t worry.”

After hearing that, I agreed. I mean, who would have the heart to say no? Jimin was just being a decent human being and helping his friend. If I object, what kind of human being am I? “Sure. I’m fine with it.”

“Thank you so much!” he said, smiling out of gratitude and happiness form the fact that he's helping his buddy out. That smile was so pure and innocent, I couldn’t help smile too. Jesus Christ. Jimin's smile is making me swoon. Have to get out of this trance.

“I have to go.” I said as I headed off. Things seem to be normal between us now. He must’ve gotten over me. After all, he has to at some point. But deep inside, I have to admit, I feel disappointment.

Disappointment that I did not care for.

As I headed back into the student cafeteria, I saw Linda still staring into space. I saw something definitely was up. And I am going to question her about it. “Hey, Linda, come with me for a sec.”

She didn’t bother to object as held her wrist and pulled her outside in order to have some privacy to talk alone.

“Linda. You’ve been acting oddly since this morning. I was considering just leaving you alone, because maybe you just wanted some space. But you still seem done. What’s wrong? Is it something I did?” I questioned, as concerned as ever. I was scared. As silly and naiive as it may sound, I'm scared to have a friend to be pissed at me.

She met my gaze for a nanosecond and then averted her gaze to the ground. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just that I’ve realized something that I’ve been too scared to admit.”

She still wasn’t meeting my gaze. She’s avoiding me. Why?

“Can you please fill me in? What’s going on? You’re my best friend. Don’t I have the right to know? I thought we weren’t supposed to keep anything from each other?” I asked, but I felt like a hypocrite because of how many secrets I’m been keeping form Linda, Sadako, Hee-Young, and A-Yeon. Yep. I'm the most disgusting hypocrite ever.

“It’s about Jimin. I should really give up. It’s never going to happen. I realized it over and over again. But after this morning, I've decided to accept the truth."
Linda paused to caught her breathe, than continued.

" Jimin's love for you is obvious. I highly doubt he only loves you as a sibling. He says he acts hype because you like energetic people. He does things because of you. Don't tell me this is not an act of love. It is. There’s no point of me dreaming of becoming his girlfriend.” Linda managed to choke out. My heart broke from hearing the sadness in her voice. Her eyes are now watering again.

“Why?! I thought we had this talk in the morning? Who said you don’t have a chance? Jimin called you cute once. I don’t remember when, but he did. He DOES NOT LOVE ME ANY MORE THAN A SIBLING. And it's the same vise versa. And what’s wrong with dreaming? If you dream hard enough, your dreams can come true!” I cringed inwardly at my cliché talk. But I have no other way of saying this.

“And if you dream hard enough, you mother might break up with Jimin’s father, so you and Jimin could openly love each other." She said back. Tears were now streaming down her cheeks freely.

That thought stopped everything for a second. For that one second, I saw Jimin and I on a date, with no fear.

We were holding hands and everything was perfect. He was wearing a white shirt under a smooth thin olive green jacket. His tight black jeans suited him perfectly. I was wearing one of his black hoodies. It was too big, but it had his smell. Perfect. He turned to me and looked at me with his beautiful crescent eyes.

'I love you.' He would say.
'I love you too.' I would answer.

NO.
STOP.

I had to come up with something quick. Linda is the same as Sadako. Puts her friends before a guy. I can’t have her give up someone she loves for me. No. I don't deserve that.

“Linda. I’m dating Rapmonster. Put the whole argument of yours aside for a sec. Are you suggesting that I’m a ho, and that I love Jimin even though I have a boyfriend?” I said, acting as offended as possible.

Linda seemed to buy this. Thank the love of God. “Oh, I’m was so caught up in my own assumptions I totally forgot. I’m so sorry, Kana. I don’t mean to label you as a ho. You aren’t one. I swear. I’m sorry-“

I cut her off but pulling her into a hug. “So is this silly business settled?”

I felt a nod, and I smiled. Good.

But only then I realized what I said to Linda before.

“Linda. I’m dating Rapmonster. Put the whole argument of yours aside for a sec. Are you suggesting that I’m a ho, and that I love Jimin even though I have a boyfriend?”

I am dating Rapmonster. And though I hate to admit it, I still have a crush on not only Jimin, but Suga too. I guess I am a slut. And a failure. A hypocrite. And the worst possible friend one could ever have.

Notes

There probably are a heck ton of mistakes because I'm busy preparing for other things, which also means I didn't have the time to put pictures. I'm so sorry! TT^TT