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If You

Signs

One week later


The door closed behind the last fan and Jiyong let out a sigh of relief as he headed to the car. He considered calling Emily to let her know, but decided against it. We haven't spoken since Berlin, so why would she pick up now?

His phone buzzed with a video chat request as the car pulled away and he accepted it immediately.

“What's up!” Seungri shouted excitedly.

“Hey Seungri,” Jiyong said as he stifled a yawn.

“Is that Jiyong?” he heard Daesung ask off-camera, then he leaned in beside Seungri and waved at Jiyong. “Long time no see, Mr. Solo Tour!”

“Sorry guys, you know how it is,” Jiyong apologized. “Where's Youngbae?”

“Writing session in the studio. He's determined to get a solo album out before you leave.”

“Speaking of solo stuff,” Seungri cut in, “we saw the footage from the book signing.”

Jiyong groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“That bad, huh?”

“Worse,” he replied. “Emily was really upset about it. She blamed me for causing the whole situation and accused me of hogging her spotlight.”

“But you told her you were coming, right?” Daesung asked. “Why would she be upset if she knew you were coming?”

Jiyong shifted uncomfortably. “Well I... I wanted to surprise her.”

Seungri and Daesung exchanged a look. “Right,” Seungri said finally. “So she's still mad at you, I take it?”

“Seungri-”

“You've gotta be more sensitive to stuff like this,” Daesung said reproachfully. “She needs space when it comes to her career.”

“Hey, whatever happened to being on my side?” Jiyong demanded.

“You're right, we're sorry,” Seungri apologized. “I'm sure you were just trying to be supportive.”

“Thank you,” he sniffed.

“And I'm sure Emily knows that,” Daesung added, “but you still have to be careful. She's spent the last several weeks standing in your shadow, so that could make her resent you overwhelming her signing.”

Jiyong raised an eyebrow. “Have you been talking to Emily?” he asked.

“I don't have to talk to her to know her,” Daesung replied.

“Are you saying you know my wife better than I do?”

“Whoa guys, calm down,” Seungri said quickly. “No one's saying anything, okay? Jiyong, I know your brain's going in a million different directions, but you've only got a couple more months with Emily before you enlist, remember? Do you really want to spend any of that time fighting?”

“No,” he grumbled.

“Then make up and move on. This is supposed to be your honeymoon, remember?”

“Did you just call to lecture me?” Jiyong asked with a smile.

“Of course not,” Daesung replied. “Now tell us how Italy went.”


******


Emily knew she should be getting ready for bed, but that meant going to the bedroom and facing another icy night with Jiyong. I was angry with him, but I shouldn't have said all of those things on the plane, she thought regretfully. She stared at her laptop screen and tapped her fingers on the table while her mind whirled. Maybe I should write another novel. I still have a huge fan base, and it would give me something to do while Jiyong’s away.

Her eyes began to drift closed and she dozed off in her chair, still holding a sheet of notes as she dreamed of manuscripts, then she felt a blanket drape over her and she looked up. “Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you,” Jiyong whispered, taking a step back.

“I wasn't really asleep,” she murmured. “What time is it?”

“Twelve-thirty.”

At least I didn't doze long. “Just getting back?” she asked, getting up.

“There were more fans this time, so I ran late.”

“I'm not mad, Jiyong,” she replied, “though a text wouldn't hurt.”

“I thought you needed some time to yourself,” he countered.

The double meaning was clear, but she just brushed past him on her way to the bathroom. Are we really going to do this again? she wondered, staring her reflection in the eye.

Jiyong came in behind her and for a moment she thought he would speak, but he just turned the shower on and started to undress, so Emily started removing her makeup and neither of them spoke for several minutes. She wanted to make up, but she knew they had to work through the cause of the fight first and she didn't know how to begin. It's not like I can ask him to be less famous, or not to publicly support me, she reasoned. How are we supposed to resolve this?

Jiyong got out of the shower and tied a towel around his waist before coming over to the sink. His hair was blonde again, and little droplets of water ran down his skin as he began removing his own makeup. Emily started brushing her teeth as she searched for something to talk about. “How was the concert?” she asked through a mouthful of toothpaste.

“Normal,” he shrugged. “One of the fans gave me a giant stuffed animal with my name on it, which was cool.”

“Yeah, cool,” she echoed. She spat in the sink and kept brushing as she tried to think of something else. Do you really have nothing left to say? she thought accusingly.

“What were you working on earlier?” he asked as he started towel-drying his hair.

“Just a few leads on some possible contracts in Seoul,” she replied. She rinsed and wiped her face with a towel, then added, “I'm thinking about writing another novel.”

Jiyong tossed the towel to the floor and grabbed a bottle of moisturizer. “That's great, babe,” he murmured, rubbing moisturizer onto his face.

They both got dressed silently and climbed into bed before Jiyong reached up and turned off the light. Emily laid down on her side and stared over at the curtained window. The longer she laid there, the more she replayed their fight and the guiltier she felt. “I'm sorry,” she whispered, almost to herself. “I know it wasn't your fault, and you didn't deserve what I said.”

There wasn't a reply and she felt tears prick her eyes. Maybe I waited too long, she thought sadly.

Suddenly the bed shifted and he slid an arm around her waist before pulling her into himself. She could smell his shampoo as he sat up slightly and kissed her cheek. “You were right,” he whispered. “I didn't handle the situation well. I just wanted to make it as special as possible, but now I-”

“You did,” she said, covering his hand with her own, “you did make it special. The mobbing wasn't your fault, but I wanted someone to blame and you were the most convenient person.”

“Do you mean the most famous?” he quipped.

Emily burst out laughing and turned over to look at him. “Please don't ever stop coming to my events,” she murmured.

“I won't if you won't,” he promised, kissing her again.


******


The next few weeks were some of the best Jiyong had ever experienced. When he wasn't performing or practicing, he was taking Emily on as many adventures as he could. They spent their days wine tasting, shopping and sightseeing, while their nights ranged from lounging in five-star hotel rooms to cuddling during late-night flights. Emily rarely complained throughout the traveling and hours of waiting alone in hallways and hotels, and he in turn made every moment as memorable as possible.

After a few more weeks in Europe they finally made it to the States, touching down in New York City for the home stretch of the tour. Jiyong knew Emily was more excited to be back than she was letting on and he was determined to make their stay count. “How does it feel to be back?” he asked as they made it to their hotel room.

Emily went to the window and looked out across the city. The hotel was on Times Square and the noise from the street was terrific, but she just smiled and threw the curtains open wide. “It's heavenly,” she pronounced, stretching her arms out as if to embrace the entire city at once.

Jiyong’s phone buzzed and he groaned aloud. “I've gotta run, they need me for an emergency costume fitting,” he sighed. “Why don't you call Lisa and see if she's free for lunch? She knows we're in town, so it might be a good time to meet up.”

“I'll call her,” Emily promised, giving him a quick kiss. “Bye!”


******


Jiyong left and Emily called Lisa, who was delighted to have lunch with her, so Emily caught a taxi and went to a cafe called Loretta's. It was within walking distance of her old apartment complex, and she was considering stopping by when Lisa came beaming around the corner. “Look at you, all brimming with marital bliss!” she exclaimed, giving Emily a hug.

“Don't you have some poor writer to chew out?” Emily teased. “I can't believe you're free!”

“Truth be told, I've been keeping my lunches open in case you called this week,” Lisa admitted as they entered the cafe. “I am your only friend in the city, you know.”

Emily wanted to deny this, but Lisa was basically right. “Mm, I'd almost forgotten that smell,” she sighed, breathing in the aroma of fresh bread and warm coffee, then she suddenly felt a little dizzy and had to brace herself against the wall. “Emily? You okay?” Lisa asked concernedly.

“Yeah, just a little dizzy,” she said, straightening up again. “Probably just waited too long to eat.”

They ordered their sandwiches and took them to a shaded table just outside the door. “So, tell me about all the places you've been,” Lisa begged.

“Well we went to Italy first, then France, Germany, Switzerland and England before coming here,” Emily replied modestly.

“All those places in seven weeks? You must be exhausted.”

“Not as much as I thought I'd be,” Emily said, “but I'm looking forward to staying in one place for a while once we get back to Seoul.”

“What's been your favorite place so far?”

Emily thought for a moment. “I liked Milan and London, but I think Zurich was my favorite. It was just so peaceful.”

Lisa hesitated for a moment and Emily set down her coffee. “What?”

“I just… I'm sorry about Berlin,” Lisa said regretfully.

Oh, that. “It's fine,” Emily assured her, “it's not anyone's fault.”

“I just wanted to give you something amazing, and I ended up giving us both a headache.”

“Not just us,” Emily muttered into her sandwich.

Lisa frowned. “Did Jiyong get upset?” she questioned.

Emily related the fight to her and Lisa stayed remarkably neutral during the whole tale. “But you've made up, right?” she prodded.

“Yeah, but I just can't understand how I got so angry about it. I mean, it's not like he sat down and started signing his own autographs. I hadn't yelled at him like that since we were dating.”

A group of women walked by and their perfumes were so strong Emily nearly gagged on her food. “Did you smell that?” she exclaimed, covering her mouth. “How can someone wear that much perfume? It would make me nauseous.”

Lisa waited until Emily calmed down before leaning across the table. “So, you said you got angry at Jiyong for no reason?” she asked.

“Basically, yeah.”

“Then you felt dizzy in the cafe, and now you can't handle someone's perfume?”

“Do you have a point?” Emily demanded.

“Just… okay, think about the last few weeks. Have you been feeling these things before now?”

Emily thought back. “Yeah, but you know how it is with traveling and late nights-”

“Emily,” Lisa said, cutting her off, “you know what I mean.”

An idea slowly dawned in her mind and she felt herself pale as she looked up at Lisa. “You don't think… I mean, I can't…”

“Is it at least possible?”

“I guess, but-”

A waiter came and refilled their coffees, giving Emily a moment to think. Could she be right? Have I just been ignoring the signs?

Lisa laid some money on the table and grabbed her sunglasses. “Come on, there's a place on the corner,” she said, offering Emily her hand.

Emily stood up and blinked rapidly. “Lisa, I can go myself,” she replied, but Lisa insisted on walking with her to the drugstore and even helped her choose the best rated brand from the array on the shelves. Two dollars later Emily went into the bathroom and followed the instructions carefully, then spent the next few minutes taking deep breaths as she waited. Whatever happens, we'll be fine, she told herself.

“Emily? How you doing in there?” Lisa called softly.

“I'm fine, Lisa,” she replied, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Do you want to talk about something while we…”

“Yes, anything,” Emily said quickly.

“Okay, um… oh, I've had a few requests from some of our writers to find projects out in Seoul.”

“Really?” Emily exclaimed.

“Oh yeah. Apparently they're all anxious to gain some of your success, but not all of them are quite as talented as you.”

Emily smiled, but kept her eyes closed. “Don't be too hard on them, Lisa. Just yesterday I was one of those writers begging for a chance to earn literary fame and glory.”

“I have yet to come across another writer with your spunk, though,” Lisa returned lightly. “You know, the company's been different since you relocated. I haven't even reassigned your office yet, but maybe I'm just hoping you'll magically come back one day. Don't get me wrong, I have full confidence in you out in Korea, I'm just being a little selfish. I hope Jiyong knows how lucky he is to have you. He seems like a good guy, even if he's more avant garde than your average hipster. I've been listening to their music, but I think I prefer his friend Youngbae over the others. You won't tell him I said that, will you? Emily?”

Emily didn't reply, too busy staring at the little stick clutched in her hand. I don't believe it, she thought disjointedly. I'm pregnant.


******


It took nearly all day for the news to sink in, and Emily found herself going through the motions as the word pregnant pulsed through her brain. Jiyong was occupied all day, so it wasn't hard to avoid him while she tried to come up with a plan. The tour ends in three weeks, but should I wait to tell him until after we get home? she wondered repeatedly. On one hand, she wanted to share the news with him as soon as possible, but she didn't want to throw him off during their last leg of the trip. Maybe I should try to see a doctor first, in case it was a false positive. This seemed rather far-fetched, but the more she thought about it the more she wanted to be sure, so she called a doctor's office in Miami and scheduled an appointment for the following week.

Her only problem now was going to the appointment without being spotted by fans or accompanied by security. If I try to send them away, Jiyong might hear about it and get suspicious, but how can I stay incognito with Korean bodyguards trailing after me?

“Babe?”

Emily gave a violent start, then put a calming hand to her chest. “I didn't hear you come in,” she sighed.

“You looked like you were thinking really hard,” Jiyong commented, tossing his jacket onto the bed. “Something bothering you?”

“No, just… daydreaming,” she fibbed. “Good show tonight?”

“Always,” he said, “though a few fans threw underwear onto the stage. Apparently one bra had a phone number written inside.”

Emily laughed out loud. “ 'Apparently’?” she repeated.

“I didn't get a good look, but it looked like a decent quality bra, maybe even name brand. Horrible shade of pink, though.”

She threw a pillow at him playfully and he dodged it with a grin. “How did your lunch with Lisa go?” he asked, going into the bathroom.

She fumbled for a second, but he was busy taking off his jewelry and didn't notice. “It was fun,” she managed finally. “She said she's had a few requests for Korean assignment from other writers.”

“God help us,” Jiyong teased. “Seriously though, I've had more than one person tell me they want a book deal, so she might have some success sending more writers.”

He stretched and threw himself down on the bed, still fully dressed, and kicked his shoes off. “I talked to Seunghyun today,” he said, “though it wasn't for very long. He doesn't seem to get much free time these days.”

He settled comfortably into the pillows and turned the TV on, flipping through channels aimlessly. “Anything you want to watch?” he asked.

Emily got on the bed and snuggled up beside him. “You pick, I'll probably fall asleep,” she murmured. She heard him let out a contented sigh and she closed her eyes. I'll tell him after the appointment, she decided.

Notes

Comments

Please please please continue this. I've read it three times now and it just makes me fall in love every time. It is a wonderful story. Also, please put it on AO3, its a very friendly community for writers.

Maliciouspixie5 Maliciouspixie5
11/13/19

@Maliciouspixie5
Thank you!

Oh I just love this. Beautiful story.

@k pop lover
Haha thanks, I'll try!

please update more often. caus ei reallyl ike this story

k pop lover k pop lover
8/29/18