Internally

I spend the rest of the afternoon sitting peacefully in the empty makeup suite with a coffee and my camera. The smell of the coffee fills the air. It’s pleasant, especially with nothing but the sound of silence to disturb me.

I look through the photos I took today. There’s the first couple that are shots of Hoseok being fitted, Taehyung spinning around with his jacket flaring, and Jungkook staring out of the window whilst my mom fixes his trousers. There’s one of Namjoon laughing happily during his fitting, and a different one of Jin looking down at himself wearing the costume. The lighting makes every costume look even more beautiful than they did before.

I click the button to go to the next picture and almost drop my coffee in surprise. I didn’t expect one of Jimin to be on there. I’m standing behind him holding his jacket in place, looking very focused. The light makes the silver in his hair shine, and there’s a small smile on his lips. I wonder who took the photo. Mom’s in it too, so it must have been one of the guys...

I shrug and automatically click the button on the camera again. It switches to the next picture just as I take another sip of coffee. Needless to say, I almost spit it out again. This one’s of me and Suga, standing in silence, both of us serious, yet slightly angry. It’s a powerful shot, with the angle and the way the light falls. I swallow as I realise Mom must have taken it as she came in... Not something I’d expect. I want to delete the photo both from my brain and the camera, but something inside me won’t let me press the button.

“Mina?”

I almost spill the coffee all down myself.

“Yes?” I quickly put the camera and the coffee on the side table as I hurry to stand and bow – awkwardly in those stupid heels I decided to wear. I look up to see Jimin standing before me, and I relax slightly. It would have been embarrassing if it was the manager... or worse – Mom.

“I thought I’d find you in here,” says Jimin. “Everyone else seems busy... and besides, Kyung Hee told me about your new job. I wanted to congratulate you.” He smiles warmly as he takes a step forward.

“Thank you,” I say, nodding my head and returning the smile.

“Looks like things worked out for you then?” says Jimin. It’s obvious he’s referring to what I spilled about my career problems last night.

“Ah, yep,” I answer with a chuckle. After a while of fidgeting, I finally clasp my hands behind my back.

Jimin pauses for a second before meeting my eyes. “I also wanted to make you feel welcome here,” he says a little shyly. “I mean, coming to a place where you don’t know anyone can feel kind of daunting.”

His words make my cheeks turn red, even though they’re nothing but sweet. “Thank you, Jimin,” I say, “It means a lot.”

Jimin opens his mouth as if he is about to continue, but he is swiftly cut off.

“Ah, Mina! I wanted to run you through the schedule for tomorrow.”

It’s Kyung Hee, of course.

“Sure,” I reply, looking over at her expectantly.

“Well, I’ll see you soon, Mina,” says Jimin as he leaves the room.

Kyung Hee sits down on the couch in the corner of the makeup suite and pats the seat beside her for me to sit down. “What did he want?” she asks.

I swallow. “Nothing much,” I say.

Kyung Hee just shrugs. “Anyway, so tomorrow I’ll need you in super early...”

Let’s just say that Kyung Hee is very precise with her schedules.

“But don’t worry about anything,” she says finally once she has finished explaining what time we need to be where. “There’ll be absolutely no pressure on you. Just be there, okay?”

“Got it,” I say with a smile of confidence. “Is it alright if I go now?”

“Of course,” says Kyung Hee. “I’ll see you tomorrow then!”

I pick up my camera and my coffee – which is thankfully still warm – and head out of the makeup suite. If Mom is working late, I’m thinking of just making my own way home to have some downtime before tomorrow.

I’m still thinking about this when I find myself unexpectedly falling...

There’s a pain that shoots through my ankle and I’m cursing the damn shoes. I don’t see much, only blurs, but there’s my yell, and another yell, and the force as I fall into someone else. The coffee goes flying, and so does my camera. My heart does a full flip. That camera is the most precious thing I own.

Suddenly, I don’t care whether I crush the person beneath me. I reach out my hands and catch the camera just before it hits the floor. I breathe a sigh of relief. But then that relief is over.

“Hey!”

And then I’m looking into the angry brown eyes of no one other than Suga. And the heart somersaults are back.

I scramble to my feet, unsteady in my heels, and clutch my camera to my chest. And he’s still sprawled on the hard floor, with coffee staining most of his clothing, dark hair falling messily across his forehead.

Great way to make it up to him, Mina...

“I am so sorry.”

There really is nothing else to say. I watch as he slowly gets to his feet. His face is expressionless. I don’t know whether that is worse than angry.

All sorts of thoughts pop into my head in that instant:

My mom probably has loads of spare shirts in the design hall...

I know I said I wouldn’t bother you and I’m so, so sorry...

Serves you right for being rude...

There are a few silent moments in which we say nothing at all. He flicks coffee from his fingers in disgust. Whatever I was expecting him to say, he doesn’t. Instead, he says,

“What happened to the Doc. Martens?”

I look down at my high-heeled shoes and back up to him. I don’t know what that remark was, but with his tone of voice, it came out like an insult. “Maybe they’re a symbol of a new career,” I shoot back before I can stop myself. Things like that sound much better in Korean than English, so I’m glad I’m not in the States.

He raises an eyebrow. And that eyebrow raise is intimidating for some reason, despite how I’m at least as tall as him in heels.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” I say, “But it looks like I’ll be sticking around.”

He thinks for a long time before saying, “There’s a meaning to the word respect.”

And with that, he pushes past me and walks off.

I stand there for a few moments, biting my lip and mulling over the situation. Was I too harsh? I take a photo of the empty coffee cup on the floor, and slowly bend down to pick it up. No, he was the one being rude... right?

I dump the coffee cup in a nearby bin and sigh. I wish I could call Annabelle back and ask for her advice. She always seemed to know what she was doing. But she’d said it herself – she’s super busy. And besides, with the time zones, it just wouldn’t be convenient.

And all of a sudden, though it feels like it’s been coming for a long time, I’m left with no one to talk to, confide in, or spill my problems to.

I grip the camera in my hands, close my eyes and take a deep breath. It feels like the time when my parents started arguing and I couldn’t tell anyone, not even Annabelle. I want someone to listen and tell me it’s going to be okay, even if it isn’t.

It will be okay, won’t it? I have a brand new job and my camera is still intact. Having no friends is just a spanner in the works, right? Everything is going to be fine...

“Mina, are you okay?”

I almost trip in my heels again at the sudden sound of a voice. My eyes snap open and Namjoon is standing in front of me wearing a beanie over his hair and a concerned expression on his face.

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” I reply haltingly. I’m not convincing enough. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I was just organising stuff with the manager,” Namjoon says vaguely.

“What kind of stuff?”

“Oh, it’s just stuff for tomorrow,” he says. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, “You seem sort of upset.”

“Honestly, I’m fine,” I assure him, but my voice cracks in the middle of fine.

Namjoon observes me for a moment. Then he puts a hand on my shoulder and points down the corridor with his other hand. “Come and sit down,” he says kindly.

“There’s really no need,” I say hastily.

“Maybe not,” he says, “But would you mind helping me practise my English for a bit? Unless you’re busy, of course.”

I take a step forward and that’s when I realise how much of a mistake wearing heels was today. I wobble, and reluctantly let Namjoon lead me over to a few seats that are pushed against the wall a little further down. We sit and I sigh.

“Well,” says Namjoon in English, “I’m glad to get a break from my schedule before tomorrow.” He pauses before adding, “Ah, I heard about your new job.”

“Who told you?” I ask curiously.

“Jimin,” Namjoon answers.

“And how did he find out?” I laugh.

Namjoon shrugs and chuckles slightly. “I think Kyung Hee mentioned it earlier,” he says. “Are you looking forward to starting?”

“Yeah,” I say with a smile, “I’m really interested to see what happens.”

Namjoon nods slowly. “So... about earlier... what happened?”

I hesitate and swallow. But then the dam bursts. “I kind of tripped and fell and spilt my coffee all over Suga,” I admit, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Ah,” says Namjoon, “He must be really mad-” He quickly cuts himself off before he can say anymore. “I mean, he’s probably fine with it.”

That fills me with a sense of dread. For as long as I’m working here, Suga is going to hate me.

“Tell you what, I’ll buy you another coffee,” Namjoon offers. “It’s the least I can do.”

I smile but shake my head. “It’s okay,” I respond, “I’m feeling better now, thank you.”

“No, thank you,” says Namjoon, “It’s nice speaking English with someone who actually speaks English.” He lets out a laugh. “I’ve enjoyed talking to you, Mina.”

I nod and we both stand up. “You too,” I tell him.

“If you ever need anything,” Namjoon adds, “Don’t be afraid to ask. I’ll be sure to do whatever I can. In fact, ask any of the members. Good luck with your first day tomorrow. I’ll see you around.”

“See you,” I say with a wave. I watch him walk down the corridor the way he was walking before when he found me. I decide that I like Namjoon. He acts somewhat like an older brother to me.

Feeling a little more relaxed, I decide to take a walk around the building. Now that I have my camera on me, a few good photo opportunities may arise. The afternoon sun is streaming through the windows, and the air inside is warm. I stroll from floor to floor, looking for good shots to snap.

Since I’m up so high, I take a few pictures of the view from the large glass windows. The city is spread out below, and the sun is low in the afternoon sky. I adjust the angle a few times before tiring of the view and continuing on my journey of exploration. A little further down the corridor, there’s a pool of water near the water cooler, and a bright yellow warning sign is in the middle of it. The light from the window glitters on the spilt water, so of course I squat down and snap a picture. The Heels are definitely a disadvantage to the photographer, as they make bending down increasingly difficult.

I take off the shoes and toss them to one side. Now a few inches lower, I can just about get the golden sun bouncing off of the water...

“What are you doing?”

The sound of a voice makes me jump and click the camera shutter and I topple from my squatting position to land uncomfortably... in the puddle on the floor. Clutching my camera protectively to my chest, I squint up at the tall figure above me.

“Nothing,” I tell him quickly. I can feel the chill of the spilt water seeping through my clothes.

“Sorry for scaring you,” the guy says hurriedly, aware of the fact he startled me, and he offers me a hand up.

I grab his hand – which, like most hands, envelopes mine – and he pulls me to my feet. I blink and realise it’s Jungkook.

“It’s fine, really,” I say, not eager to cause yet another scene today.

“Did you fall in the water?” Jungkook asks, now looking a little ashamed. “I really didn’t mean to make you jump. There should be spare clothes in the design hall though.”

“About that,” I say with an anxious laugh as I look around me, “I think I’m kind of lost.”

Jungkook laughs then. “I can show you back,” he says. “You know, so we’re even again.”

“Thanks,” I say, and follow him back down the corridor.

There’s a minute or so of silence before he says, “Mina?”

“Yes?”

“I was wondering,” Jungkook continues, “How old are you?”

I chuckle at his brashness. Most people wouldn’t ask such a direct question, especially not in Korea. “I’m nineteen now,” I tell him, “But technically my Korean age is twenty.”

“Ah,” says Jungkook, “So that means we’re the same age. I was wondering, so I’d know how to call you.”

I nod slowly. “How old are the other members?” I ask after a moment of hesitation.

“They’re all older than me,” Jungkook answers, “So they’re all your oppas.” He cracks a grin at his last statement.

“And they’re all your hyungs,” I respond with a smile.

We step into the elevator to go back down to the floor with the design hall. The doors close and Jungkook jabs one of the buttons. Then we start going downwards.

“So, what exactly were you doing when you made me jump?” I ask curiously, still aware of the damp clothes that cling to me.

“I was just checking all the plans for the surprise-” Jungkook cuts himself off. His eyes grow wide and he swallows. “Pretend you didn’t hear that.”

“Surprise what?” I frown.

“It’s really nothing,” says Jungkook hurriedly. “I’m not supposed to say anything.”

“You owe me one for getting me all wet,” I argue.

Jungkook keeps his mouth shut for approximately six seconds before he blurts everything out. “The members are throwing a birthday surprise tomorrow after our first comeback stage,” he says. Then he exhales deeply.

“Who’s the surprise for?” I ask.

“Jimin,” Jungkook answers, “But please, please, whatever you do – please don’t tell him. The other members will kill me if they find out it was me who said it.”

“Don’t worry,” I say, “I won’t say anything.”

Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he says gratefully.

The elevator doors open and we step out. This floor is one I recognise, and I can easily find my way to the design hall from here.

“Well, here we are,” says Jungkook, “Again, sorry for scaring you, Mina-ya.”

“It’s okay, honestly,” I say through a laugh. “I hope everything goes well for the surprise.”

Jungkook immediately presses a hand against my mouth. “Don’t even say that word until it’s over,” he whispers.

I push his hand away and laugh again. “I won’t,” I assure him. “See you around.”

“See you!” says Jungkook as he steps back into the elevator.

As for me – I head back into the design hall, which is now completely empty. Costumes have been finished, just about, and Mom must have gone for a lunch break or something. I take a seat on the couch near her desk, kick off my painful shoes, and rest my head against one of the cushions. I debate trying to find spare clothes in the store cupboard, but instead I find myself drifting off to sleep...

The next thing I know is that my world is dark and I can hear a voice softly whispering,

“You should go home if you’re tired, Mina.”

I jump awake, startled, only to open my eyes and be staring directly into Jimin’s.

“Jimin!” I yelp, blinking my eyes in the sudden light. “What are you doing here?”

Jimin takes a seat on the couch and chuckles at me. His hair is freshly dyed – now more a silvery blue than it was before. “Ji Yeon wanted me to try on my jacket one more time,” he explains. “What are you doing here?”

I take in my surroundings and recall the events of the last few hours. “I was getting clean clothes,” I try to explain to him; “I fell in some water.”

Saying it out loud sounds even stupider than in my head. I fell in some water.

Jimin cracks a smile. “Well, there should be plenty of spares in the store cupboard,” he says – a fact which I already knew before.

I nod at him in agreement. “I was going to check there but I fell asleep,” I tell him sheepishly.

“I think some of your hair fell in that water too,” says Jimin, fiddling with a damp strand that lies on my shoulder. “It’s a pretty colour brown, you know.”

And his face is within inches of mine again and I don’t know what to do.

“Oh, I didn’t realise anyone was in here,” says the voice from the other side of the room.

Jimin leaves my hair alone and we turn in the direction of the voice. Suga is standing in the doorway to the store cupboard, pulling on a clean sweatshirt. He is frowning and his expression reads as confusion, though you can never really tell.

“I’m just waiting for Ji Yeon,” Jimin says quickly.

“Mm,” says Suga without much meaning behind it, and makes his way to the main door.

On his way past us, he meets my eyes and it unnerves me because I can’t read his at all. His gaze is just powerful, but with the tiniest hint of curiosity behind them. And then he’s gone.

Then Mom comes in after her lunch break and Jimin tries on the jacket again. I manage to find a pair of fitted leather trousers in the store cupboard which obviously belong to a girl idol here. There’s also a white blouse with a pattern of tiny blue flowers, which I put on as well. It makes me look like I’m trying to be even more professional than this morning, but it is better than sitting around damp.

By the time I get home, though, my clothes are dry anyway. Mom lets me keep a hold of the clothes I picked up in the store cupboard, which I wear on the way home in the taxi. But when I get home, I immediately get changed and head to bed. I need an early morning tomorrow, with more than enough time to get ready.

It’s daunting enough starting a new job. But tomorrow will be jam-packed full of roles and responsibilities, and if I mess even one thing up, I’ll ruin the show for everyone.

Notes

Hey guys!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, because it was really funny for me to write - maybe the funniest so far? The drama and awkwardness in it was certainly cringey at least :)
Next chapter will be up soon - comeback day! I hope you'll anticipate and it will be up as soon as I can get it up <3
(Also, feel free to comment and share your thoughts on the story so far!)

asterisk xx