Starting Over.

my brothers ran after they heard the glass shattering.
“BOMI WHAT HAPPENED!?!” Mino oppa yelled in concern.
He looked at Bomi and his expression changed completely after he saw me. I stood there with messed hair, scars everywhere on my body and face, sweatpants that now exposed some of legs and Bomi’s sweater covering my t-shirt that also exposed most of my skin. I silently cried, I couldn’t control my tears. I felt so dirty, so disgusted, it was my fault. It was all my fault. Mino took slow steps towards me.
“o-oppa” I whispered.
He looked at me with a worried expression, but nodded at the same time.
“I-it was m-my fau-fault” I said looking down at my shoes who only covered one foot.
“no it wasn’t” he said in a comforting voice.
He tried to hug me but I took a step back, I was scared.
“I think it will be a little bit hard for her to be around guys for a while” Bomi said.
she looked at me and gave me a little smile.
“I will take her to her room so she can wash up and rest” she took my hand and led me to my room.
I sat on my bed silently without saying anything. The door suddenly opened and appa came in.
“Saru” appa said waling closer to me.
I wasn’t scared of him. I gave him a hug and cried onto his shoulder. He slowly patted my back, I felt safe but it didn’t help me.
“I will get you some food, go and wash up and Bomi do you think you stay with Saru today?” appa asked.
She nodded with small smile. He walked out of my room and closed the door silently. I stood up and walked over to my closet, to pick out some clothes.
“just go and wash up, I’ll pick out some comfortable clothes to you” Bomi said.
I nodded and grabbed a towel, I walked over to the bathroom and locked the door. I took how my clothes and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I looked awful. Bruises and scars everywhere my bleeding eyebrow etc. but the only thing I saw in the mirror was shame, disgust and guilt. I turned on the shower and waited for the water to turn warm. I washed my hair and my body, but no matter how much I scrubbed my body with the soap I still felt dirty. I slowly sat down at the cold floor, the water hitting my back. I feel so wronged. I can’t say nothing happened. The flashbacks haunt me, I keep seeing him touching me like I did, me trying to escape from his grip, him hitting me. I screamed, I was scared. Heard loud knocking on the door.
“Saru! Are you okay? Open the door!” she yelled, I could hear she was scared.
I wrapped a towel around me and opened the door. I was weak, I felt weak. She sighed in relief, glad that I didn’t do anything to hurt myself.
“I’ll get you some food” she said.
I nodded, before she left she turned around.
“the clothes I picked is on the bed” she said.
I nodded again and took the clothes that was neatly folded and walked back to the bathroom. I changed and looked myself in the mirror again. I wore an oversized turtle neck sweater that covered the scars on my arms and neck, sweatpants and warm fuzzy socks. I sighed and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Once I made it downstairs I walked over to the trashcan, with the clothes that had blood stains and were now teared apart and threw it the trash. I don’t need them anymore. I walked back upstairs and laid on my bed, looking at the blank boring white wall. I heard a knock, on door.
“Come in” I said loud enough so the person could hear it.
I turned my head to look at the door, that was now slowly opening. The door fully opened and Jae-sshi stood there looking at his feet.
“I’m sorry” he said.
“for what?” I asked.
He walked closer to me and sat at bed edge.
“for not protecting you, it was my job as your boyfriend but I failed” he said a tear rolled down his eyes.
“please don’t cry” I said.
He looked me in the eyes. I love him so much, but I don’t think he still likes me now.
“I’m sorry I can’t have any physical contact with you, it’s just because I’m a little scared” I said looking down.
“don’t say sorry, remember I still love you” he said.
I gave him a small smile.
“that’s so cute” I looked behind Jae-sshi and saw Bomi standing there with a tray of food.
Jae-sshi laughed a bit and I just gave the small smile again. please say this feeling is over soon.

Notes

sorry, i think there were a lot of grammar mistakes in the last chapter