Brotherhood of Idiots

"Everything tastes better with Bacon."

"Sehun?" I said to my BFF over the phone.

"Yes bestie?" He cooed.

"Shut up or I am hanging up!" I calmly told him. His musical laughter tinkled like wind chimes in my ear. He is an idiot. Handsome, athletic, a great dancer, an excellent singer, tall, romantic, and courteous. He is actually my ideal type. Unfortunately he is interested only my brothers since we were fifteen. It's just my luck that I am best friends with a gay guy. I mentally shrugged. He is also the best friend any girl can have. Loyal and honest to a fault. I guess I'm keeping him. "Did you see what I was getting at Bacon and Baekhyun?"
"
"Shut up! Enough already!" More laughter. I hung up on him. Idiot will probably call back anyways. I looked at my poor sock lying forlornly near the door. Note to self: find the nearest incinerator.

Why am I avoiding Chanyeol and Baekhyun? Because the two together plus my idiot brothers have scarred me for life. I am never, ever going on a date, ever again!

FLASHBACK

I had just returned to Korea after staying with my mother in the Philippines for 4 years to help take care of my sick grandmother. Coincidentally, this was the same amount of time my brother Min Seok now known as Xiumin, Jongdae now known as Chen and Jongin now known as Kai, (but forever will be known as the Brotherhood of Idiots), became members of the popular boy group EXO. So I was never really there during their debut, comebacks, sold out concerts and all the drama the ensued with members leaving and all the lawsuits. Because I was the youngest, and the only girl in the family, it was decided to minimize my exposure to that life. I kept in touch with my brothers, asked them what they felt, talked to them often over the phone but barely paid any attention to their doings. I was a nerdy teenager with braces, big hair, no boobs and fondness for sci-fi movies, potato chips and M &Ms.

My grandma eventually passed away. It was time for my mother and I to move back home so that we can be nearer Appa and my dongsaengs (a.k.a. The brotherhood of Idiots). That year my braces came off and my body started to develop some curves that it need to distinguish me from a broomstick with a skirt. I am pretty enough I guess. I not delusional to think that this face can launch a thousand ships but hey a date would not be ashamed to be seen with me either.

So let's get back to the story of the horror of my first date. AISH!!!

After much begging done by Jongdae and Jongin, I consented to go on a blind date with one of their members. I was thinking to myself, "how bad can he be?" I remember how they wanted to grill Sehun alive when they thought that I was dating Sehun. Yup, I should have taken a picture of their faces when Sehun, made kissy faces at Jongdae while grabbing Jongin's butt. (But that story is a separate chapter by itself. )

So to prepare for "The Date" I Ate a light snack so I would not look like a starving pig on the date, waxed my legs and wondered for the tenth time if I should wear a Wonderbra. (Admit it! If you are a girl you would be doing the same thing) Jongin dropped me off and sat me on a chair in the middle of a nice rose garden. I was impressed. It was dusk, a romantic gazebo, candlelight on the table, the scent of roses in the air. I can hear faint music from somewhere. I was nervous and excited and thrilled all in one. And there I was alone in a gazebo when a tall good looking guy came in wearing a nice tuxedo carrying nice posy of carnations came from around the hedges. He looked around until he saw me sitting and walked towards me.

Politely he bows to me and introduced himself. "Anyeonghaseyo. I'm Park Chanyeol."

I didn't hear anything after that because he managed to set the Gazebo on fire!

Notes

All first dates are memorable, right?