Finding My Way
Kim Taehyung
7:30 pm
It’s been six hours and I still don’t know what to say to Jungkook when I call him. I have so many questions. Not only about Suga and Namjoon, or his recent contact with Jimin… but his health. How is he with school? Dance? How is life… without me in the picture…?
“Just go for it.” I close my eyes and heave a sigh. “There’s nothing to lose.”
I press ‘call’ under Jungkook’s contact and it starts to ring. Slowly, I bring the phone to my ear.
“We’re sorry, the number you’ve dialed is no longer in service. Please...” Disappointed, I lower my arm as the operating woman continues to speak. The call ends on itself. How did Suga get in touch with Jungkook if his phone number changed?
All at once, I sink into my bedside and someone knocks on my door.
“Jaemi-ah, aren’t you going to eat dinner?” Taehyung questions and lowers his voice. “You didn’t even have lunch.”
I look down at my phone. How can I eat now? Jungkook’s floating away from me.
“Locking yourself in your room doesn’t do anything for yourself or us. Me.” Taehyung sighs. I can tell he’s not going to leave without a fight.
I stick my phone in my pocket and open the door. “Unlocked.”
“Wanna go to the pond?” Taehyung plainly smiles at me. With his hand, he reaches out and takes mine into possession. “Let’s go.”
Halfway into the yard, wind blows strongly. I rub my hands on my upper arm to warm myself up. Taehyung takes his jacket off, revealing his white sweater, and puts it over my shoulders. He keeps his arm around me. “I forgot to tell you to put something warm on.”
“Thank you.” I smile warmly, unsure of what else to say.
We sit down meters away from the pond and for a few minutes, the noises from the creatures around us play music for our ears. Taehyung lights a paper lantern he brought and stands up to place it in the pond, giving us light to see each others faces. As he sits down rather close to me, he begins to explain himself. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for quite sometime.”
“...About what?” I ask, staring at the lantern as it floats peacefully.
I can sense in his breathe he’s hesitating. “Whenever I’m around you, I have this strong feeling, this urge… to protect you. To hold you. To cherish you. It’s something I’ve never felt before with anyone. My heart beats really fast and it feels like it’ll jump out any second.”
Silence. The insects voices grow louder.
“I worry about you 24/7. When you left school earlier today, I couldn’t stop thinking about you… and what made you run off like that. I wanted to blame Suga, but I had no reasons why. It was then when I questioned why I even cared so much about you.” Taehyung continues, waiting for a response.
“...Why you cared so much about, me?” I ask, almost too innocently. I feel my face burning hot and suddenly, it’s like I don’t need his jacket anymore. My heart rate excels rapidly and I find it hard to breathe normally.
“Why should I care or show concern for your whereabouts? Or, why I always look forward to seeing you at the pond in the mornings… why you make me feel different. Special.” Taehyung raises his hand and lifts my chin to meet him face to face.
I… What do I say to him? My lips part and I observe his minor detailed features on his face. Taehyung, bit by bit, moves closer to me. “That’s when I realized… I’m madly in love with you.”
The light from the lantern shines on half of his face. It flickers from the candles flame inside it, causing light to shine brightly and dim every so often. The reflection of the lantern glows in his eye. Caught up in the moment, I can’t help but lift a hand to fix his front bangs and rest it on his cheek facing away from the pond.
Taehyung eyes stare hungrily into mine. Within seconds, they fall onto my lips. He inhales deeply. “Jaemi… I-”
I pull myself up highly and lean in closer to him. My eyes close before interrupting him with my kiss. Immediately, I feel Taehyung kiss me back. The melt of our lips together creates a stinging sensation, running all over my body. A feeling that I never want to end. We shift ourselves to face each other and Taehyung’s jacket falls off of my shoulders. As our kiss accelerates, he cups my face with his soft palms and I run a hand through his hair. The lantern burns at its highest and the fireflies surround us, flickering their lights randomly. Almost as if they were responding to our connected lips. Unwillingly, I draw back and rest my hands on his shoulders. “You talk too much.”
Taehyung blinks before smiling cutely. “If you shut me up like that, I’ll never stop talking.”
The fireflies disappear and the lantern dims down. We shift back to face the pond, listening, once again, to the sounds of nature. Taehyung fixes his jacket to rest of my shoulders again, this time scooting closer to me until our thighs touch. He presses his lips on my hair and rubs my arm with his hand. We sit in silence and stare, happily, at the lantern. The good kind of silence.
“I left school early today… because I wanted to find the truth.” I speak up, pulling my phone out of my pocket. “Suga, Namjoon and Jimin have met before. Not recently. More like two years ago. I want to know what happened.”
“They’ve… met before?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow.
“I was thinking it was something to do with what you told me this morning. You explained to me how Suga would leave some nights… and not return until late, or morning.” I purse my lips together.
“You think he went to see Jimin and Namjoon?”
“Jimin, Namjoon… and Jungkook.” I nod my head.
Taehyung widens his eyes and smiles. “So that’s who Jungkook is.”
“Hm?” I turn my head to him. “Ah, yes. Jimin, Jungkook and I were classmates in elementary and middle school. That’s how we all know each other… but when I tried to reach Jungkook, it said his number was no longer in service.”
“What does he look like anyways? I always wanted to know.” Taehyung leans closer and peers down at my phone.
“Don’t get jealous now.” I smile and look through my photos. “Here.”
On the screen, it shows Jungkook and I after we finished one of the many performances, where we were the principles, holding a bundle of bouquets. Bright smiles smacked across our faces and flashes of lights from cameras and photographers popped up in the background.
“This was when we did the nutcracker together. I was the lead, Clara, and he was the nutcracker. It was back when we were freshmen.” I smile, reminded of the unforgettable feeling of being on stage. On stage with my best friend.
“His face looks familiar.” Taehyung says, taking the phone out of my hands. He zooms in on the photo, focusing on Jungkook. “I’ve seen him here before.”
“In Buncheon?”
“Not only Buncheon, but the orphanage.” Taehyung blinks out of surprise. “There were some nights when Suga would bring people into his room. They’d leave before the sun went up the next day.”
“R-really?” I question, shocked. “I’m surprised you’d remember.”
“How could I forget?” Taehyung shrugs, sheepishly. “Suga asked me to bring some drinks and snacks from the kitchen sometimes. I followed his request in hopes of letting me join in with his friends… but that didn’t work out.”
“I’m sorry about that.” I give Taehyung a warm look and ruffle his hair gently. “Do you know what they’d do…? On those nights.”
“No, I was too afraid to sneak a peek, or even eavesdrop.” Loyal. Taehyung explains. “But I know he grew close with them. He was never really at the orphanage during that time. He only came to sleep and get a fresh new pair of his school uniform, which I would wash. Byeol would interrogate him, questioning his outings and whatnot. Suga wouldn’t say anything else but, ‘I’m interning at my friends fathers company.’”
“Speaking of Suga, would you mind telling me more about him?” I hold back the millions of questions I have about him. “If your comfortable enough to tell me.”
“Hit me.”
I raise my hand and lightly punch him in the chest. He smirks and rubs his chest. “Where is he from?”
“That’s simple. Byeol brought him from Daegu… back in 2008.” Taehyung recalls. “I’d know that because it was the same year I was brought to the orphanage, except I was here for two months before he arrived.”
“Ah.” I nod my head. “I remember going to Daegu myself. It’s quite the experience. I actually went there on Spring vacation with Jimin and Jungkook once.”
“Maybe we can go there once. Together.” Taehyung smiles and interlocks our hands. “C’mon it’s getting late, let’s me walk you to your door. Our rooms are next to each other anyways.”
I can’t help but laugh at his comment as we head back, leaving the glowing lantern in the pond. We walk in the hallways, hand in hand. As we reach my room, we find Jimin sitting, back on my door. He immediately stands up as he sees us approaching.
“Can we talk Jaemi… alone?” Jimin looks down at our hands. I release my hand from Taehyung and shift to face him.
“I’ll see you in the morning like always.” I smile briefly. I begin to take his jacket off but he puts it back on me.
“Keep it.” He winks and without another word, walks into his room.
Jimin looks at me with apologetic eyes. I can’t break him. I know he’ll do all he can to maintain his secrets. And we especially can’t talk here at the orphanage.
“Let’s walk outside. It looks like you need some fresh air.” I offer and head out first. He’s going to need more than an apology to change the way I see him now.
It’s been six hours and I still don’t know what to say to Jungkook when I call him. I have so many questions. Not only about Suga and Namjoon, or his recent contact with Jimin… but his health. How is he with school? Dance? How is life… without me in the picture…?
“Just go for it.” I close my eyes and heave a sigh. “There’s nothing to lose.”
I press ‘call’ under Jungkook’s contact and it starts to ring. Slowly, I bring the phone to my ear.
“We’re sorry, the number you’ve dialed is no longer in service. Please...” Disappointed, I lower my arm as the operating woman continues to speak. The call ends on itself. How did Suga get in touch with Jungkook if his phone number changed?
All at once, I sink into my bedside and someone knocks on my door.
“Jaemi-ah, aren’t you going to eat dinner?” Taehyung questions and lowers his voice. “You didn’t even have lunch.”
I look down at my phone. How can I eat now? Jungkook’s floating away from me.
“Locking yourself in your room doesn’t do anything for yourself or us. Me.” Taehyung sighs. I can tell he’s not going to leave without a fight.
I stick my phone in my pocket and open the door. “Unlocked.”
“Wanna go to the pond?” Taehyung plainly smiles at me. With his hand, he reaches out and takes mine into possession. “Let’s go.”
Halfway into the yard, wind blows strongly. I rub my hands on my upper arm to warm myself up. Taehyung takes his jacket off, revealing his white sweater, and puts it over my shoulders. He keeps his arm around me. “I forgot to tell you to put something warm on.”
“Thank you.” I smile warmly, unsure of what else to say.
We sit down meters away from the pond and for a few minutes, the noises from the creatures around us play music for our ears. Taehyung lights a paper lantern he brought and stands up to place it in the pond, giving us light to see each others faces. As he sits down rather close to me, he begins to explain himself. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for quite sometime.”
“...About what?” I ask, staring at the lantern as it floats peacefully.
I can sense in his breathe he’s hesitating. “Whenever I’m around you, I have this strong feeling, this urge… to protect you. To hold you. To cherish you. It’s something I’ve never felt before with anyone. My heart beats really fast and it feels like it’ll jump out any second.”
Silence. The insects voices grow louder.
“I worry about you 24/7. When you left school earlier today, I couldn’t stop thinking about you… and what made you run off like that. I wanted to blame Suga, but I had no reasons why. It was then when I questioned why I even cared so much about you.” Taehyung continues, waiting for a response.
“...Why you cared so much about, me?” I ask, almost too innocently. I feel my face burning hot and suddenly, it’s like I don’t need his jacket anymore. My heart rate excels rapidly and I find it hard to breathe normally.
“Why should I care or show concern for your whereabouts? Or, why I always look forward to seeing you at the pond in the mornings… why you make me feel different. Special.” Taehyung raises his hand and lifts my chin to meet him face to face.
I… What do I say to him? My lips part and I observe his minor detailed features on his face. Taehyung, bit by bit, moves closer to me. “That’s when I realized… I’m madly in love with you.”
The light from the lantern shines on half of his face. It flickers from the candles flame inside it, causing light to shine brightly and dim every so often. The reflection of the lantern glows in his eye. Caught up in the moment, I can’t help but lift a hand to fix his front bangs and rest it on his cheek facing away from the pond.
Taehyung eyes stare hungrily into mine. Within seconds, they fall onto my lips. He inhales deeply. “Jaemi… I-”
I pull myself up highly and lean in closer to him. My eyes close before interrupting him with my kiss. Immediately, I feel Taehyung kiss me back. The melt of our lips together creates a stinging sensation, running all over my body. A feeling that I never want to end. We shift ourselves to face each other and Taehyung’s jacket falls off of my shoulders. As our kiss accelerates, he cups my face with his soft palms and I run a hand through his hair. The lantern burns at its highest and the fireflies surround us, flickering their lights randomly. Almost as if they were responding to our connected lips. Unwillingly, I draw back and rest my hands on his shoulders. “You talk too much.”
Taehyung blinks before smiling cutely. “If you shut me up like that, I’ll never stop talking.”
The fireflies disappear and the lantern dims down. We shift back to face the pond, listening, once again, to the sounds of nature. Taehyung fixes his jacket to rest of my shoulders again, this time scooting closer to me until our thighs touch. He presses his lips on my hair and rubs my arm with his hand. We sit in silence and stare, happily, at the lantern. The good kind of silence.
“I left school early today… because I wanted to find the truth.” I speak up, pulling my phone out of my pocket. “Suga, Namjoon and Jimin have met before. Not recently. More like two years ago. I want to know what happened.”
“They’ve… met before?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow.
“I was thinking it was something to do with what you told me this morning. You explained to me how Suga would leave some nights… and not return until late, or morning.” I purse my lips together.
“You think he went to see Jimin and Namjoon?”
“Jimin, Namjoon… and Jungkook.” I nod my head.
Taehyung widens his eyes and smiles. “So that’s who Jungkook is.”
“Hm?” I turn my head to him. “Ah, yes. Jimin, Jungkook and I were classmates in elementary and middle school. That’s how we all know each other… but when I tried to reach Jungkook, it said his number was no longer in service.”
“What does he look like anyways? I always wanted to know.” Taehyung leans closer and peers down at my phone.
“Don’t get jealous now.” I smile and look through my photos. “Here.”
On the screen, it shows Jungkook and I after we finished one of the many performances, where we were the principles, holding a bundle of bouquets. Bright smiles smacked across our faces and flashes of lights from cameras and photographers popped up in the background.
“This was when we did the nutcracker together. I was the lead, Clara, and he was the nutcracker. It was back when we were freshmen.” I smile, reminded of the unforgettable feeling of being on stage. On stage with my best friend.
“His face looks familiar.” Taehyung says, taking the phone out of my hands. He zooms in on the photo, focusing on Jungkook. “I’ve seen him here before.”
“In Buncheon?”
“Not only Buncheon, but the orphanage.” Taehyung blinks out of surprise. “There were some nights when Suga would bring people into his room. They’d leave before the sun went up the next day.”
“R-really?” I question, shocked. “I’m surprised you’d remember.”
“How could I forget?” Taehyung shrugs, sheepishly. “Suga asked me to bring some drinks and snacks from the kitchen sometimes. I followed his request in hopes of letting me join in with his friends… but that didn’t work out.”
“I’m sorry about that.” I give Taehyung a warm look and ruffle his hair gently. “Do you know what they’d do…? On those nights.”
“No, I was too afraid to sneak a peek, or even eavesdrop.” Loyal. Taehyung explains. “But I know he grew close with them. He was never really at the orphanage during that time. He only came to sleep and get a fresh new pair of his school uniform, which I would wash. Byeol would interrogate him, questioning his outings and whatnot. Suga wouldn’t say anything else but, ‘I’m interning at my friends fathers company.’”
“Speaking of Suga, would you mind telling me more about him?” I hold back the millions of questions I have about him. “If your comfortable enough to tell me.”
“Hit me.”
I raise my hand and lightly punch him in the chest. He smirks and rubs his chest. “Where is he from?”
“That’s simple. Byeol brought him from Daegu… back in 2008.” Taehyung recalls. “I’d know that because it was the same year I was brought to the orphanage, except I was here for two months before he arrived.”
“Ah.” I nod my head. “I remember going to Daegu myself. It’s quite the experience. I actually went there on Spring vacation with Jimin and Jungkook once.”
“Maybe we can go there once. Together.” Taehyung smiles and interlocks our hands. “C’mon it’s getting late, let’s me walk you to your door. Our rooms are next to each other anyways.”
I can’t help but laugh at his comment as we head back, leaving the glowing lantern in the pond. We walk in the hallways, hand in hand. As we reach my room, we find Jimin sitting, back on my door. He immediately stands up as he sees us approaching.
“Can we talk Jaemi… alone?” Jimin looks down at our hands. I release my hand from Taehyung and shift to face him.
“I’ll see you in the morning like always.” I smile briefly. I begin to take his jacket off but he puts it back on me.
“Keep it.” He winks and without another word, walks into his room.
Jimin looks at me with apologetic eyes. I can’t break him. I know he’ll do all he can to maintain his secrets. And we especially can’t talk here at the orphanage.
“Let’s walk outside. It looks like you need some fresh air.” I offer and head out first. He’s going to need more than an apology to change the way I see him now.
Notes
Annyeong readers~
Regular update on Tuesday, FINALLY. WOOT.
So, this chapter has changed a relationship.... and now it's time to reveal who the main male leads are in this story. Instead of straight up telling you, you can see for yourself. My cover photo for this story says it all. The main leads are the only ones wearing denim jackets in the photo. *wink*
So, there you have it *grins* VOTE///COMMENT///SUBSCRIBE to hear regularly from me on Tuesdaysss.
OH, and I have a youtube channel you know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AB3hvubMV-o
See you in the next chapter~!
~Alexis Thao
I'm seriously fangirling it's just-
5/16/18