Gratefulness~ pt.5

I lean my forehead against the cold window. I feel like crying. If only he was here with me, but no. Without him his big apartment is so empty. Without his warmth it's so freezing and I have to wear his big and expensive pullovers and wrap myself in his pretty blankets to feel even something familiar and comforting. It's just so unfair, the distance between us...

Suddenly I hear something. I startle and freeze, staring at the front door. What is it? A thief? Actually, it could be a thief because he's in America and his apartment should be empty, especially at the nighttime. My earlier sleepy sad eyes are now wide open. I'm shaking. Something clinks against the metallic door and the next sound is like a thump against the floor. Whoever it is, he has a whole bunch of tools with him.
No quick movements, I think to myself. He might hear me and I might drop something like a vase on the floor and reveal myself. But right when I stand up, I freak out and run to the bedroom fast but luckily silently, like a puma. I close the door slowly without a creak and crouch down behind it because there's no other place to hide. Why is his bed build so that I can't fit under it? Ugh... I wish that he or she whoever wouldn't find me. There's nothing expensive in the bedroom, right? Oh. Except his designer clothes. But they aren't in packages. Phew... But maybe the thief doesn't know this is a bedroom!

I hear the front door opening. My hear skips a beat, or a million of them. I'm shivering in the darkness and hoping that the unwanted visitor would save me and leave me alone. Why tonight? Why now when I'm here? Why?? I hear steps outside the bedroom door. That someone takes a step into the bathroom but continues to the kitchen, and then to the livingroom. I guess the person is looking for something and I really hope that he will find it before he finds me.
I close my eyes as I can't take it anymore. It's too creepy. Why did I have to want to come to a big city like this and make a career here when I could be completely safe at my home and work as a part-timer in a market? Why? Why am I so stupid? But then I hear the steps coming closer. Step by step towards the bedroom door. Please, go away. Turn away. Please! I squeeze my eyes shut and pray for the God to save me and it's a lot because I never do so. I even cross my fingers together and mutter silently:
"Please, God. Help me now. I know I have never really believed in you but please be good to me this time and save me! Don't let me be found!"
It's silent. It's silent for a good while, until the door handle gets pressed down. The door opens slowly, very carefully. All I can do is to try to stay silent and hidden behind the door.

"Jagi...?" I hear a voice calling in the darkness.
Jagi? What the heck- Jagi! I open my eyes one by one... From the crack I can see familiar-looking shoes and there's nothing that makes me more relieved and happy and sad at the same time.
"Um," I don't want to scare him. I peek behind the door and see his startled eyes looking down at mine. It takes him a while until he realizes it's just me.
"Jagiya?" he asks and I nod aggressively. Tears begin streaming down my ugly face.
"Oh, aniya, aniya, aniya~" he quickly snaps the lights on and crouches down to help me up. I completely fall into his arms. And he hugs me thightly but carefully. He seems to be still confused about the situation.
"What has happened here?" Ji asks, clearly not having a clue why I was hiding behind the door and almost gave him a heart attack. I bite my lip and tell him I thought somebody was coming to kill me. And he smiles at me, holding back his laughter as we sit down on the bed, asking why would anyone else but he come into his oown apartment. He takes my hands between his like he always used to do and he gives a million soft but rapid kisses onto my lips until I'm able to smile again. And I can't believe he's there with me. His beautiful eyes that I dreamed of because I missed them so badly. And the scent that I wrapped myself around on these days I was alone.

"Why are you suddenly here?" I ask after clearing my throat which is still stiff from the frightening experience. I wouldn't like to seem like such a cry baby just because I haven't seen him in a few days. He touches my cheek carefully, viewing my outfit as he does so.
"You like my yellow shirt?" Ji looks back into my eyes and laughs a bit. And I put my hand on his arm carefully like I had never touched him before. No matter how much time we would spend together, it would still forever feel like a dream, seeing him in my front of me, time after time. And whenever he's away, I think I'm awake. But the surroundings remind me every day that the dream that I dream is real and all we ever had is real and what we will encounter is real. I want to keep it like this and never wake up.
"It-it was cold," I smirk akwardly. "I'm sorry. I try not to ruin them. I won't wear them ever again," I promise and begin taking the pullover off and he actually helps to pull it over my head and throws it on the floor himself. Somehow I would have expected him to stop me from doing that and told me to wear them as much I like. I still have a white top and blue jeans on but those are my own clothes.

"Mineeha," he comes closer to me with a look that could kill my inner fangirl. It's so hard to restricy it, to not to scream and laugh hysterically. He's mine but still I bite my lip and I forget to breath, just like in the old days.
"Neh?" a silent whisper slips out of my mouth even though it wasn't supposed to. He looks at me and that familiar smug smirk spreads on his gorgeous face which should be swollen after a long flight but it isn't. It's just perfect. I have to lean back a little because I can't focus my eyes on him when he gets so close to me. He must have missed me a bit, based on his hand travelling down my thigh. A nervous swallow gets stuck in my throat.
"You can borrow my clothes as much as you want to. You know it," he whispers back with the sexiest voice I have ever heard on this planet. I should buy a grave soon, just in case. I want a nice spot with a view. I have no idea if ghosts can move from their grave spots so I must make sure I get a great one – his fingers fiddling the fabric of my top and finding a way underneath it – but this is surely only killing me before I can buy it.
"Are you going back tomorrow?" I panic, sudden pressuring feeling growing inside of me. He sighs shortly and glances down, disappointed of me having to ask something like that in a moment he apparently wants to make a special one. And then he moves his hand behind my back, supporting me strongly while he brings his other hand back on my cheek, thumb stroking the cheekbone gently. He tilts me backwards. I can feel his thighs pressing against mine, making my body shiver on a whole new level.
"Let's not talk about it now," he moves his whole body closer to me and I'm about to fall off the bed but he notices it and throws me to the center of it, right in the middle of all the pillows and a few plushies.
"Don't hurt yourself," he laughs. How could I when it's so soft, I ask in my mind. And what is this suddenly? He's in such a demanding mood. I can't help to hide my face behind my hands as he stands steadily on the floor at the end of the bed, more like touching my feet than massaging them and then pulling my socks off slowly and carefully like I was made out of glass.
"Wait," I stare at him. "You just saw me crying on the floor and now you want me? Kinky much?"
"Hmh," he smiles in the darkness. I can only see the lines of his body created by the light coming from the hall. "I love everything about you, but I already had fantasies about this on the flight," he says in a raspy voice.
"Ji Yong-ah--," I whisper as I watch him taking off his jacket and t-shirt and revealing what for me is a smoking hot body. He runs fingers through his hair and gives me that charming look before climbing onto the bed and crawling over me like a ruthless animal. All I can hear is his loud breathing and his heart beat when his bare chest hits mine. I turn my face to the left in shock.
"I just want to be close to you," he murmurs in a warm tone and stops his movements as he sees the look on my face, hesitating. I need to take a few deep breaths before I turn to look at him again, the face which is only a single centimeter away from mine. The fucking good-looking face, I have to say. It's only worse when I get to see him closer, the shiny skin of the sinner, almost invisible wrinkles and a single drop of sweat just underneath the hairline. It's just hot. And he breathes onto my skin and I lick my dry lips. I'm craving it.
"Take me," I give him a single order, raspiness hiding my voice. And in a second I see a glimpse of satisfaction on his face. My claws sink in his skin and my face crinkles for the excitement, awaiting. But he begins it slowly like a gentleman, touching my neck with his fingertips that quickly change to his tongue, the wet muscle drawing a line after another on my skin. Then it's time for his lips to kiss my cheeks and the tip of my nose. My own pressing thigtly together, wanting to find his and bring them into a collasion, the need to connect right now, right here... Our bodies squirm in harmony against each other like we were one. And it feels good when his hand escapes under my shirt and touches all over me, feeling my skin like I was a masterpiece in his eyes, as his face hides into my neck and his breath steams on me. He knows. Oh, he knows that I like it hot. Like a sauna. I place my hand on his chest when I get my chance and his heart... It's beating so fast I don't know if it's healthy anymore. How can somebody be so extremely excited-- Finally he pulls me up on sitting position and takes my top and bras off, with a few quick moves. Once again, he knows how to do things. And I wrap my arms around him thightly, so that he can feel my womanly parts pressing against his own skin. And he enjoys it, unzipping my jeans at the same time, panting something beautiful in my ear I forget a second after because of my concentration. It's as corny as dancing but as genuine as love. And it has to be done right.
"Is this heaven?" he whispers silently before treating me and mine like a kingdom, what it is.

Notes