Remembering Elizabeth (Featuring Suho and Sehun)

As soon as Kyung kissed me, I’d known I’d made a mistake. A huge one. I started to scream but he put his hand over my mouth and nose and I couldn’t breath.
“Shhh. I know Byun Baekhyun is running around here looking for you and I know you ran from him so be a good little girl and be quiet,” said Kyung.
My whole body started to shake violently. I remembered everything now. It was all coming back to me in flash after flash of images and I knew I was in some serious trouble.
“I’ve missed you so much. When I saw that you’ve been staying with Kim Junmyeon, I’ve been trying to find ways to get you back.” Kyung let go of my mouth and took off the necklace that he was wearing. I knew what was on that necklace. It was the little gold key that symbolized my imprisonment but now he had something else too. It was dark but the ring still sparkled like glints of fire. “I kept this for when you came back to me. I knew you would want it.” He took the ring off of the chain and slowly slid it onto my finger. It felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. He put the necklace back on and wrapped his arms around my waist. He began kissing my neck and whispering, “What did they do to you? Did they pass you around? I’m sorry I didn’t save you from them sooner.”
I was frozen in fear and with every touch of his lips, I thought I might throw up. Why did I think this was a good idea?
Kyung’s hands began roaming my body and he began rambling. “My God it’s so good to have you back. I thought of you every second you were gone. I promise to treat you better this time and I’ll forgive you if they fucked you. Don’t worry, I know it wasn’t your fault. Zico should never have taken you from me. Was it all of Exo or just Baekhyun and Junmyeon? It makes me sick to think of them taking turns with you! You’re mine and you always will be.”
When he started to unbutton my pants I found my voice. I knew there was a very slim chance that Bacon would hear me but I had to try so I started screaming and Kyung put his hand over my mouth again. I fought him. I bit his hand and when he let go, I slapped his face and began screaming again as loud as I could. He seemed stunned at first but then he tried to stop me from screaming. I just got louder and started screaming Bacon’s name.
“Why Elizabeth? Why are you doing this? I told you I’ll take better care of you this time,” said Kyung as he tried to find a way around my flailing arms. He was starting to panic.
“Let go of me Kyung. I don’t want to be with you! You hurt me and I hate you! I HATE YOU! GET AWAY FROM ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!”
His face was stricken in surprise. “But I love you! I’m sorry for hurting you. I’ll take my medication if you want. Every day. I promise!”
“No Kyung! Let me go! Please! Let me go!”
We were both crying but I continued to yell for Bacon. We heard voices and Kyung grabbed both sides of my head and held me there by my hair. “I fucking love you and I WILL get you back! You belong to me, Elizabeth! Don’t ever forget that.” He kissed me but I closed my lips tight against him and then he left. I could hear Bacon yelling for me and his voice was getting closer. I ran out of strength and I slid down the wall and tried to yell Bacon’s name again. It didn’t come out as a yell because I couldn’t breath and I was crying too hard for it to even sound like words but he was close enough now to hear me.
Bacon came through the doorway and seeing me on the ground, he thought I was hurt. When I saw him the relief I felt took what little strength I still had away from me. I cried harder. He bent down to me and took me in his arms. “My God Elizabeth! Are you okay? Are you alright?” He searching me for any signs of harm.
I held as tight to him as I could. It was hard to talk because I couldn’t catch my breath but I got out, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Elizabeth, what are you doing here? Where is Jun or Sehun? Why did you run from me?” He pulled me up close so that my chin rested on his shoulder and he squeezed me tight.
“I was so wrong, Bacon. I made a mistake. Thank you for saving me. Please forgive me,” I begged.
“Come on. Let’s get you home. Jun’s got to be crazy with worry by now.” He lifted me to my feet and took me home.

Bacon had called ahead and when we came through the door, Suho put his arms around me and almost choked me to death. “What on earth were you thinking little girl? Why did you do that to us?” He started to cry and his words ended in a whisper.
All I could think to say was what I had said to Bacon. “Please forgive me. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Jun, you’re cutting off the girls circulation. Let go a little,” said Bacon.
Suho did let go a little but he still held me to him and continued to cry. “I was so scared. We could have lost you. Don’t you ever do that to me again!” Finally, he let go and held me out to look at me. I was a mess from my fight with Kyung. I was dirty and my hair was crazy and I had finger marks on my face where Kyung had squeezed my mouth so tight. He had also left a string of little marks on my neck from his kisses. When Suho had looked me over he realized that I had been attacked. “Are you alright? Are you hurt? You have bruises. Who did this? Who hurt you, Elizabeth? Do you know who did this?”
I don’t know why I didn’t tell him. I think I was too ashamed. “I don’t know who he was,” I lied. “It was a man in the alley.”
“How badly did he hurt you?”
I knew what he was really asking. “He only held me and kissed me Suho. That’s all.”
“That’s all? That’s all.” Suho put his hand to his mouth and tried not to cry but he was unsuccessful.
I’m so stupid! I just made things so much worse.
All of a sudden, Suho looked up at Bacon in a panic. “Baekhyun, Sehun CANNOT see her like this. He’s on his way back and he’s already frantic. If he sees her like this he’s going to freak out. Please take care of her while I take care of him. We have to hurry.”
Although I didn’t really need any help, Bacon went with me to my room. He sat on the sofa while I gathered some clothes to change into.
“Jun told me about the letter you wrote to him. Why on earth would you want to go back to the bastard that tortured you? Was it because of me and Sehun? Please tell me it wasn’t because of what happened when we got drunk.” Bacon ran his hand through his hair.
“No. It wasn’t you or Sehun. It’s me. I’m like a virus, Bacon. I’m causing so much trouble here and I can’t stand it.”
“A virus?” Bacon looked confused.
“I feel like everything I touch becomes infected by me. I love you all too much to stay and cause you pain.”
“Elizabeth! Listen to me!” He stood up and came to me. “You don’t realize how much you mean to us. All of us. Especially Sehun but Suho and I care about you too. Sehun and I fight all of the time. This time was over you but you didn’t cause it. That’s just what happens between guys. We fight with everyone. And you aren’t messed up! As soon as you get all of your memories back, you’re going to be as good as new. You aren’t a virus, whatever that means! It’s so much better waking up in the morning to see your pretty face than to have to look at those two ugly idiots everyday!” He laughed and hugged me. “Now, no more talk of leaving or being a burden. I’m going to make sure you don’t go anywhere else! If I have to sleep in front of your door, I will! I can sleep anywhere so don’t test me!”
I walked into the bathroom and turned to look at him. “Bacon?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you. Thank you for saving me and for forgiving me,” I said.
“I haven’t forgiven you yet. I’m not that easy! You freaking ran from me you little brat! Go get a shower before Sehun gets here.”
I smiled at him and shut the door.

When Sehun got home, I was in the shower crying so I didn’t hear the commotion leading up to the bathroom door. I did hear the two loud bangs that Sehun’s foot made against the door before he finally broke it open. He jerked the shower door open and stood there looking at me. Suho and Bacon were yelling at him to get out and wait until I was finished but he was ignoring them. The look on his face broke my heart. He had a mixture of emotions on his face. There was sadness and betrayal and relief but there was also barely contained rage. He had tears filling the bottoms of his eyes but they didn’t fall. He reached over and grabbed a big fluffy peach towel. Pulling me out of the shower, he wrapped the towel around me and pulled me into an even tighter hug than Suho had given me.
“I’m so fucking mad at you. I can’t believe you did this. I almost hate you right now! Why? Why? Why would you do such a stupid thing?” He just stood there holding me while Suho and Bacon tried to get him to leave. “GET OUT AND GIVE US SOME PRIVACY! PLEASE!” he yelled.
“Sehun…” Suho started.
“JUNMYEON! PLEASE!”
Suho didn’t say anything else. He put his hand on Bacon’s shoulder and they left the room.
I could hear the anger in his voice when he said, “I don’t even want to talk to you right now because I don’t know what I might say.”
He let go and took my hand and led me into the bedroom. He pulled me onto the bed and curled up beside me, laying his head on my chest as he wrapped his arms tight around me. I felt his body start to shudder as he began to cry. He cried so hard that there was no sound and he squeezed me tighter and tighter. Finally, sounds of such pain came from him that my heart shattered and I also began to cry. I held onto him, running my hands over him to sooth him like you would a child.
After a long time, we just lay there quietly, listening to each others breathing. Every now and then he would hiccup and sniffle.
“What were you thinking? How could you leave me to go back to that piece of filth?” he asked.
I felt ashamed. “I know that saying I’m sorry isn’t enough…” I began.
“You’re damn right it isn’t!” he said.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered. “I was wrong. I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“No! You weren’t!” He was so angry. I had known he wouldn’t be happy about it but I didn’t anticipate this sort of anger. “What if he had found you? Don’t you know what he would have done?” He sat up to look at me, his eyes red and swollen. “HE WOULD HAVE KILled you…” His words went from a yell to a whisper as he held back more tears. “Do you want to die? Is that it? Do you hate yourself so much now that you think that’s what you deserve?”
“I don’t feel like I belong anywhere else, Sehun.”
“What? You belong with me! Can’t you see that? What do I have to do to prove that to you? Do I have to tie you to the bed? Beat you? Starve you? Rape you? Because I can do that! The difference is, I NEVER WOULD!”
I felt like a child being scolded but I knew I deserved it. My words came out in a whisper. “I know that. I’m just not good enough for you, Sehun.”
“It’s up to me to decide what’s good enough for me!”
“But I’m bad and dirty and messed up and you need someone clean and innocent.” I said trying to hold back my own tears.
“My God, Elizabeth! You are not the one who is dirty and messed up! HE IS! AND STOP TELLING ME WHAT I NEED! I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT I NEED!”
He kissed me. It was an angry aggressive kiss that became a hungry greedy kiss. His hands were frantic as he tried to unbutton his shirt and he became frustrated so he just ripped it the rest of the way off. I flashed to Kyung doing the same thing the first night he forced himself on me but I shook my head and said “No!” as I pushed the image out of my head.
When I said no, Sehun misunderstood and stopped dead. He sat up and looked at me and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
I put my arms around his neck and pulled him back down on top of me and kissed him again. I ran my hands up and down his back, enjoying the feel of his muscles moving under my touch. I reached down and began unbuttoning his pants but he finished it for me and then took them the rest of the way off, keeping his eyes on mine. When he was done, he pulled the towel off of me and threw it on the ground. He roughly pulled me to the middle of the bed and hovered over me, kissing me deeply and them moving his mouth down my body as I lay there, trying to feel every touch of his moist lips. When he moved them to another place, the last place they had been felt cold as if it missed his warmth.
His mouth reached my stomach where he licked and nibbled at my sensitive skin, sending little shocks to another very sensitive part of my body. As he moved lower to kiss that sensitive area, I did all I could to stop images and sensations of memories of Kyung under the black satin comforter, Harvey dying over and over, the game controller falling to the floor with a thud, and the feeling of his tongue exploring me without my permission and without apology. The only way to stop those images was to keep my eyes open and on Sehun as he parted me and kissed the hottest part of me while I began to squirm with extreme pleasure. Just the sight of him being so intimate with me, and the sexiness that was Sehun, pushed me over the edge and I came violently.
That drove Sehun crazy. He came back up to do to my mouth with his tongue what he had just done elsewhere. I was still dizzy and unable to stop the noises that were coming from me. Those noises seemed to urge Sehun on. He struggled to remove his underwear so I helped him. As he pushed me back down into the bed, I reached down to wrap my hand around him. He almost screamed. I really hoped Suho and Bacon weren’t hearing us. I don’t know if I could face them because we weren’t being quiet. Not by any stretch.
I was torn between two emotions. I couldn’t wait to have Sehun inside of me. I was almost crazy with my need for him but I also hated that once that first time was over, it was over. The anticipation was almost a good as the act. I didn’t have a choice. He took over and I don’t think he could have stopped if he had wanted to. I didn’t want to think of Kyung. Not now. Not in this moment. I focused on Sehun and his body and what was about to happen.
Sehun put his full weight on me and held my wrists beside my head as he slowly pushed himself inside of me. I cried out and he stopped.
“Don’t stop. Please, Sehun! Don’t stop. I want all of you. Give me all of you,” I begged.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said.
“Please! Hurt me!”
“Are you sure?”
I had started to push my hips into him, craving more. “Please, Sehun! Don’t tease me! I can’t take it!”
His tongue filled my mouth as he pushed himself completely into me and I moaned into his mouth.
As he rocked back and forth without pulling himself from me, I could feel my orgasm building. I never closed my eyes for fear of having a horrible memory of Kyung so I watched as Sehun tried to hold himself back for me. I began to rock with him. I squeezed my inner muscles around him and he moaned for me. I scraped my teeth against the skin of his neck and his shoulder as my hands explored the rest of his body. His backside could win awards! It was smooth and tight and I could feel the muscles move with every thrust.
I didn’t want it to be over so quickly but I was past the point of no return and I screamed as I reached another climax. I couldn’t help but to close my eyes but the only thing my mind was on was the feeling of him throbbing inside of me as he also found his release. I could feel him come as his body shivered in waves. I held onto him tightly. I didn’t want his body to leave mine and I whispered that fact to him.
Breathlessly he said, “Alright.” Instead of pulling away from me, he laid there, still inside of me, breathing hard with his mouth putting wet soft kisses on my shoulder. I listened to his breathing close to my ear and I wished I could pause this moment and live it forever. Finally, he said, “I’m sorry honey, I have to move.” He rolled over onto his back, still breathing hard, his eyes closed, and making little noises in the back of his throat.
I rolled against his side and laid my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. His skin was hot and moist with sweat. I ran my hand around his chest and stomach and then a little lower. He jumped and said, “Don’t touch me there! Not yet! I’ll die!” I laughed and moved my hand back up. I pulled the soft pink blanket over us and we fell asleep, as we should have always been, together.

Notes