As Blind As Could Be...

Third Person POV

Seungsoo calls for the members to see him in his office. Everyone except Eunsoo and Kai.

They stand in a line, waiting for Seungsoo to announce his diagnosis.

“I’m sure that Kyungsoo was the closest to Kai and Eunsoo. That’s why they're like this now. It’s a rare disease. I’d give you the name, but you wouldn’t understand it unless I give you an example.” Seungsoo explains. “It’s like an imaginary friend, but in this case it appears to be so real, the patients can feel physical contact. It’s a substitute. It’s obvious that nobody wanted Kyungsoo to die. But Eunsoo and Kai don’t want to believe it to the extent that they both created a fake figure of him together. Hence the reason why Kyungsoo holds a fork and wears clothes Kai bought for him. At least that’s what they both said when we injected them with the truth serum. You must do the best you can to keep them apart from each other. Little by little though. Space them away from each other little by little. They can hurt themselves if they don’t. Arraseo?”

The boys keep quiet. Engraving the words into their brains.

“I guess that silence is a yes.” Seungsoo sighs. “But… there’s one thing.”

Chanyeol and Lay look up, but the others keep their heads low.

“We’ve ran many tests on both of them and found that they’re different.” Seungsoo shows them the files.

“Eunsoo only sees Kyungsoo once in awhile. She claimed to see Kyungsoo whenever she was around Kai, but that’s not true. Sure, his presence is somewhat ‘provoked’ when the both of them are together. But, Jongin-shi see’s Kyungsoo 24/7, all the time, no matter what. Even if Kyungsoo leaves for minutes, he comes back. This is the difference between the two. They’ve created a fake Kyungsoo together, but Jongin-shi seems to be the one who is more affected by it.”

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Eunsoo’s POV

“This isn’t real, this isn’t real.” I repeat.

Kyungsoo crouches down and lifts my head. The way I looked up at him was way too desperate. Tears fall out of my eyes. We’re sitting in my room on the floor. Not in the new mansion, it the one Kyungsoo and I used to stay in. The white and black jacket. The fork. This isn’t real. Is it?

“I am real. aren't I?” Kyungsoo asks. “I'm here, aren't I?”

He smiles and hugs me tight, unwillingly, I hug him back. He's real. I can feel his body warmth. It’s soothing. How can this be… My eyes set on Kai, who was sleeping on my bed. He must be tired from the drugs they gave us.

“C’mon.” Kyungsoo smiles. “Let’s go get you ready.”

I nod like a toddler, following his suggestion. He holds his hand out for me and helps me up. I watch him with an aegyo pouty face as he wipes the dust and dirt off of my clothes.

“There.” Kyungsoo smiles wider. “All clean.”

I go over and attempt to wake Kai up.

“Go get changed into the dress I bought for you.” Kyungsoo gently nudges me.

I take the dress and go change in the bathroom. It’s gorgeous. The detail of the hanbok (traditional korean dress, used for weddings and funerals) had the queen’s pattern and tracings. Silver and white. And on the counter, a diamond hair pin.



I walk out of the bathroom to find Kai and Kyungsoo conversing. Kai looks over and blinks multiple times as Kyungsoo smiles widely.

“E-eunsoo-ah.” Kai says in awe.

He was already wearing his black suit. I’m guessing Kyungsoo told him to get dressed at the same time as I did.

Chanyeol knocks on the door. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and he rushes to hide behind Kai. Kyungsoo’s hand is on Kai’s shoulder and Kai puts his hand on Kyungsoo as an act of comfort.

I open the door. Chanyeol smiles and hugs you briefly.

“You look pretty, my girlfriend.” Chanyeol says in a deep voice.

“E-eo, I guess.” I blush and look back.

All I saw was Kai as Chanyeol puts his arm around my shoulder. He was rubbing his shoulder.

“Dongsaeng, did you hurt your shoulder or something?” Chanyeol asks.

Kai just blinks. That’s weird, where’s Kyungsoo? I rub my eyes, man was I tired. Stupid drugs. I roll my eyes in a circle, then re-focus. Kyungsoo’s hands are on Jongin’s shoulder (both hands on one shoulder) as Kai comforts him by stroking them. That’s weird. For a second Kyungsoo wasn’t… there.

“I guess the medicine they gave Eunsoo and I are really kicking in.” Kai shrugs.

Chanyeol sniffs and turns his attention towards me. He takes me by the hand and drags me out and away from Kyungsoo and Kai.

“Y-yah.” I object. “Why are you taking me away from Kyu-... Kai.”

“Because when your with Kai, Kyungsoo’s presence is provoked. Just in your case… ” Chanyeol says. “Your brother said to keep you two away from each other little by little. So here I am, saving the day.”

I blink. “But… I want to see and be with Kyungsoo.”

“Kyungsoo’s dead.” Chanyeol says directly. “I know you know that. I also know you don’t want to believe that. Don’t let that figure get the best of you. He’s not real.”

I widen my eyes and let go of his grasp. I look at him with disgust.

“He… He is real. How could you say that?” I say slowly. “Didn’t you see him? Behind Kai… hands on his shoulder.”

“So that’s why Kai was acting like that.” Chanyeol sighs and facepalms.

He puts his hands on my shoulders.

“How can there be two Kyungsoo’s? Hm? We’re going to see Kyungsoo be buried. How can he still be ‘real’ if we’re going to bury him and attending his funeral? hm? Hm? HM?” Chanyeol questions.

I push him back. I don’t want to hear it. Chanyeol’s face is full of shock.

“Fine.” Chanyeol says in a low, disgust tone. “I’ll stop. Whatever. If you have a problem, don’t come to me.”

I watch him get into the limo first. I sigh and sit down, on the steps. Kai comes out. But there’s no Kyungsoo. Jongin laughs and sits next to me.

“Isn’t that funny, Eunsoo-ah?” Kai hits you lightly, laughing really hard.

“W-what is?” I ask cautiously.

“What Kyungsoo just said.” Kai blinks.

I look down. If Kai sees him 24/7, then the one who should grieved and mourned the most… isn’t me. The one who misses him the most and wants to see him the most isn’t me.

“Mm.” I agree, forcing a small smile.

Kai takes my hand and walks me to the limo.

Hours later, we’re all getting our makeup and hair done. We haven’t done activities or schedules for a month. Our last concert is soon. No one knows it’s our last concert. No one knows Kai and I… see him.

I look at the mirror as the lady finishes my hair. I see with the corner of my eye Kyungsoo watching me. Is Chanyeol right? Not real? But why is he standing there then. I blink my eyes and Kyungsoo’s not there. I sigh a relief and close my eyes. I feel the presence of another body, so close that their body warmth is rubbing onto me.

I turn to my left and jump and how close his face was to mine.

------

[A/N: Have this song on repeat. Its a nice slow song that goes well with the next events.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taPlLuvY0Hw]

Your POV

“W-what is it.” You blink.

He boops your nose.

“What are you thinking?” Luhan smiles. “Something wrong?”

“A-ah… no, everythings fine right now.” You return his smile, but force yours.

“Are you sure? I can tell when your lying Eunsoo-ah. I’ve known you this long, it only makes sense for me to detect it.” Sehun says in your ear on the other side you.

You turn your head really fast, causing your hair to move dramatically.

“Please try to keep as still as possible, miss.” The lady says, a bit annoyed by your sudden movement.

You bow your head lightly, hitting Sehun’s one accident in the process.

“Yah, yah, yah!” Sehun says touching his forehead. “That hurts! Your head is as strong as rock.”

Kyungsoo laughs and your eyes widen hearing it. You gulp.

“S-sorry, Sehun. It was an accident. I didn't mean to do that.” You say quietly.

Sehun and Luhan notice your sudden change in the tone of your words. Lay comes over followed by Tao.

“Wow, you look so pretty.” Lay smiles, outlining your body with his hands in mid-air (spoke in Chinese).

You smile and wink at him.

“Are you nervous?” Tao asks, taking your hand and sandwiching it as he sits lightly on the countertop.

“Don’t sit there please, and not in front of the mirror.” The lady says, getting even more annoyed.

You and the boys chuckle at Tao’s sudden movement.

“Ah, sorry.” Tao blushes and lets go of your hand.

“I’m nervous but-”

You hear Kyungsoo and Kai laughing really hard. You turn your head and see Kai laughing by himself. Where’s Kyungsoo?

“I swear, Kai is losing it.” Luhan sighs and turns his attention back towards you. “I like the hanbok your wearing, who got it for you?”

You smile widely. “Kyung-”

Did Kyungsoo really give you that hanbok?

“Ah, Eunsoo’s father asked Chanyeol and I to buy her one. Chanyeol bought and picked out the dress she’s wearing.” Sehun answers her question.

“Thanks Eunsoo-ah.” Luhan says annoyed looking at Sehun, leaning his body forward, towards him slightly.

Sehun smiles and shrugs. Meanwhile, you’re still trying to process what Sehun said.

Kyungsoo earlier said he bought you the dress… but now, Sehun says that Chanyeol bought it for you.

Someone puts his hand on your shoulder.

“Yah, Chanyeol must’ve gotten the same hanbok as me for her.” Kyungsoo sighs and smiles sheepishly. “We both know what you like Eunsoo-ah. He has a great taste.”

You flinch and flick the hand off your shoulder.

“Yah, what did I do to you?” Chanyeol says pissed off. “You don’t even want skinship anymore? Aish, whatever.”

Chanyeol walks away, making everyone blink.

“I thought he was… nevermind.” You mumble.

Suho smiles and puts a hand on your bicep area.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s just pissed off, but your not the reason he’s acting this way. He needs to cool down.” Suho cheers you up.

You nod and turn around once more. Kai and Kyungsoo are talking some more. Chen looks at your eyes and tries to follow your gaze.

“Yah, why is Kai talking to a plant?” Chen sighs. “I’ll go get him.”

You watch as Chen walks over and drags Kai over here. Kyungsoo gazes at you for a few seconds, smiles and follows Kai.

“What? I was talking over there.” Kai says annoyed, his annoyed expression goes away once he locks eyes on you.

He smiles. You blink, then smile back. He holds his hand out to you and pulls you up. Hand in hand, you both walk, headed towards the limo. You seen Taeyeon walking into the salon. She widens her eyes and bows. You smile and bow back, letting go of Kai’s hand. Her eyes soften and she smiles back. She opens her arms and hugs you.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispers. “I know I didn’t get to tell you personally. From the bottom of my cold, desperate heart, I’m so sorry. Not just for Kyungsoo.”

Her words are about to bring you to tears, but you couldn’t let yourself break down so easily. You nod and let go of her embrace. She runs to Baekhyun and hugs him tightly. Baekhyun smiles and hugs her bag, looking at you. You smile at Baekhyun and make the “fighting” sign. He lightly chuckles and lets go of Taeyeon. He walks over to you and hugs you.

“Don’t worry, your still my number one girl.” Baekhyun whispers.

You smile, but before Baekhyun could say anymore, Kai tugs you away from him. Baekhyun pouts, but smiles again as Taeyeon interlocks her hand with his.

------

Eunsoo’s POV

Funeral Day 1.

Father set up the entire funeral. He welcomes the mourners who come and visit. Before we started letting people come and enter the traditional funeral home, the family members were welcomed. I was sent into the home with Seungsoo who was wearing, like all the other men, a black suit and white thick ribbon tied around his arm. For the woman that come, they are suppose to wear black hanbok with a thin white ribbon tied in their hair. But, since I’m the sister of Kyungsoo, I’m supposed to wear something different. I look at myself before entering the funeral home, before getting out of the car with Seungsoo. A white and silver hanbok, a white ribbon in my hair with a diamond hair pin. Waterproof makeup because I know I’ll be crying a river for the three days of Kyungsoo’s funeral.

Speaking of… where’s Kyungsoo? I haven’t seen or heard him since the salon.

Seungsoo reaches his elbow towards me and I wrap my after around his. A man opens the door and immediately, pictures are taking, lights are flashing, fans are screaming, reporters are questioning, everything was hectic. I look down. If I can’t even face Taeyeon, how can I face my fans.

I take a deep breath as Seungsoo and I approach father. I let go of Seungsoo’s grasp and hug my father. He pats my back.

“You are gorgeous today, my sunshine. Don’t worry, this day will go by swiftly.” Father smiles at me.

I nod and take Seungsoo’s arm with a tight grip, walking inside. There are many flower wreaths sent from everyone you know (all of the celebrities) and all of father’s workers, staff, friends, etc.

Once entering the main room, I see tons of rows of tables. There were no chairs and the tables were low rising. Typical for a funeral, but way too fancy. Father really loves Kyungsoo. [A/N: The father of the family must organize and pay for the entire funeral]

I let go of Seungsoo’s grasp and walk around. Mother comes and hugs me. Tears already falling down her face. She hands me white roses.

“I think you should be the one who does this.” Her words barely pass a whisper, but it was so quiet anyone could hear her. “We’ve had professional's set the flower presentation up already, but they left an area for you to do yourself. It’s only fair to the sister of our Do Kyungsoo.”

I nod weakly and take the white roses, hands shaking. Slowly, I walk to Kyungsoo’s picture frame. [A/N: His body isn’t actually here. Oddly weird for a funeral, but it’s the traditional way Korean’s have their funerals. Only a picture frame is there to represent the person who died].

I close my eyes. Holding the flowers in my hands. Wearing a white and silver traditional korean dress. It’s like I’m at a wedding. A wedding where I marry the man I love the most. And Kyungsoo would’ve obviously been the best man. And walking down the aisle, I’d see his warm, welcoming smile. But instead…. I open my eyes to see Kyungsoo’s face, smiling, showing his happy heart-shaped smile. Hair spiked up, the last photoshoot he’d taken before he lost his hair. A tear streams down my face as I gently take the roses out of the bouquet and lay them out, setting up a beautiful presentation. I set the white roses on the bottom, with purple and yellow flowers.

[A/N: ONLY SHOWS HALF OF THE LITERAL PHOTO... exactly the same on the other half]




Hands empty, I trace his heart-shaped lips on the photo and smile, tracing my own after, tears falling.

Oh Kyungsoo, where are you. Why did you have to leave me so quickly.

I light the candles next to him and bow down to the picture frame. Not to Kyungsoo’s body. The picture frame.

People start coming in. Mother, Seungsoo and I kneel on one half of the photoframe. Family members show up, I bow, formally to everyone I see. But I don’t know many of these people. And I bet Seungsoo doesn’t either.

Then they come. Exo. They look nervous as they approach me. I stand up, bow, kneel down and formally bow three times. I look up and make eye contact with Chanyeol. He sees the tears in my eyes, I can tell he wants to wipe them. But this is a funeral home. I wipe my tears and stand up first, bowing for the last time before they leave.

Bangtan comes and we repeat the bowing process. Taehyung looks at me with teary eyes and I smile at his innocence. Although it wasn’t suppose to happen, Taehyung comes and hugs my tight.

“I know my words can’t soothe the pain your feeling right now, but I’m going to say it anyways. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you feel better soon. Saranghae.” Taehyung kisses my cheek and walks off.

Big Bang comes. While we were bowing, I noticed Jiyoung had a straight face. He was poker face and showed no emotion. I sigh. I can tell he’s trying his best to hide his feelings right now. He takes my hand and holds it in his for a while. He smiles slightly and kisses my forehead.

“God bless you, Eunsoo-ah.” He says and leave.

People who you’ve known throughout your life show up. People who you never even talked to came. All celebrities. Sistar, Red Velvet, GOT7, F(x), SNSD, Super Junior, Monsta-X, 4minute, Mamamoo, Dalshabet, Rainbow, A-pink, T-ara, Seventeen, Orange Caramel, Up10tion, Miss A, Vixx, Twice, SMROOKIES. They all came to support and show care and respect. President Lee and SM staff came. It was the first time I saw President Lee at his weakest.

After all of the bows and greetings were over, everyone was allowed to eat. It was already dinner time by the time we finished. My tears were dried up in the first few hours. I sat in the front table, facing everyone. Their tables, from my view are vertical and upright, while the family table is horizontal, in front of Kyungsoo’s photo. I shake as I attempt to pick up my food with my chopsticks. Mother puts her hand on my shoulder as an act of comfort. I look at her and she smiles. I gulp and try once more, but the chopsticks fall out of my hands, making a loud noise, causing the room to fall silent and lay eyes on me.

I bow in apology and they smile and continue eating. I can’t tell if this is just pity or sympathy. I put my hands down to my side, resting them on the floor, but they are still shaking.

Chanyeol walks over and bows 90 degrees.

“Would it be impolite for me to ask to take your place, Seungsoo hyung?” Chanyeol asks. “I think I’ll be able to help Eunsoo-ah.”

Seungsoo raises an eyebrow and immediately knows what Chanyeol’s talking about.

“I don’t think this is allowed, but I’ll let it go. I wanted to greet my co-workers anyways.” Seungsoo wipes his mouth.

Seungsoo stands up and goes to sit with his colleagues. Mother and father stand up and converse to the elder people who came at the party.

It was just Chanyeol and I. He puts his warm, soft hand on mine, which stopped it from shaking.

“Don’t worry.” Chanyeol says with a deep voice. “I’m here.”

Chanyeol puts a plate down with his open hand. Kimchi Spaghetti.

He takes a takes chopsticks and holds out the spaghetti for me to eat.

“Say ahhhhh~ Don’t make me do the helicopter.” Kyungsoo’s voice plays in my mind.

His sweet laugh echoes in my mind as I eat the kimchi spaghetti Chanyeol feeds me.

After eating, because I was the closest family member Kyungsoo ever had, it was my job to do the goodbyes. I stand by the door and wait for the guests to leave. One by one, everyone leaves, giving me bows, hugs, handshakes, kisses. Father and mother leave to prepare the next day. Seungsoo leaves. He hugs me and kisses my cheek. The boys the come to me.

One by one, they hug and kiss my cheek and head out to the vans. Chanyeol is the last one. He looks at me with sincere eyes. I gulp and try to break the stare, but he lifts my chin. His head comes close to mine, lips almost touching. I hold my breath and close my eyes. He sighs and brushes his cheek against mine as he rests his head on my shoulder, hugging me tightly. I exhale and open my eyes in shock, hugging him back. He’s warm. He pulls back and looks at my depressed body. He sighs once more and cups my face.

“Let’s go.” Chanyeol whispers. “My queen. My life. My everything. My Eunsoo-ah, I can guarantee you everything will be okay.”

He kisses my forehead and takes my hand, lightly tugging me to leave the funeral home, forcing me to walk. He halts before leaving the main entrance.

“It’s cold outside.” Chanyeol takes his jacket off and puts it over me. “Now, we’re officially ready to go.”

He puts his arm around my shoulder and walks me out. Once we are in the van, it almost immediately drives away. I sit in Chanyeol’s arm, quietly crying to myself. The boys stay quiet, painfully listening to me cry. Were some of them even crying?

Kyungsoo stands inside the funeral home. Right in front of the main entrance. Tears in his eyes, he watches the vans drive away. Two working ladies close the main entrance doors and walk right through him. He holds the fork up in his hand. He closes his eyes tight and moves his head away, trying his best not remember that night.

“NOOOO!” Eomma screamed.

“EOMMA!” Eunsoo and I cried over and over again.

“Shut up! IT’S YOUR FAULT WE’RE LIKE THIS! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPEAK!” Appa Screamed.

“Appa don’t do this!” I pleaded.

“Aish!” Appa said.

He grabbed me and punched me in the eye and guts. I let out a scream, which made Eunsoo whale louder.



His grip on the fork is so tight. He sighs and loosens the grip, going to Jongin.

Notes

Funeral Day 1... Depressing stuff. Leave a comment, rate, subscribe. Or dont... I've always loved the anonymus readers.

"Almost is never enough, so close to being in love. If I would have known you would've wanted me, the way I wanted you~"

Day 2 in the process. What do you think about Eunsoo and Kai, or how they view Kyungsoo differently. Or how Kyungsoo even somewhat exists. And CHANEY... sighs, there's more to come for everything, so please wait patiently. Who knows the next time I'll update. <3

I think I might take a hiatus from this story, but meh, still thinking it over.

See you in the next chapter.

~Alexis Thao
~Kyungsoo's Wifey

R.I.P. Do Kyungsoo.