a sasaeng life *BTS*

“Why I feel like this! Why do I want to see them even more! Why do I keep on wanting to be next to them” many questions are on Emma’s head after the fan club.
“Emma are you ready we will be late for school” Sam said behind her door
“do I really have to?”
“yes and no more excuses”
“okay I will”
thinking about going to the second hell that she always hated, the place where everyone sees her as psychopath who may murder them someday “ahhh I guess it will not be that bad since I will have Sam, but I should not let anyone that I live with him, everyone loves him. I don’t him to be hated because of me”
after she got ready and had breakfast “I will take the bus”
“what? No we are going to the same place, and I have a car why going on the bus”
“well! I just don’t want everyone to know we live together, they will hate you”
“ohhh this kid, look I don’t care about what other say about me”
“I do! I care, that is the only thing I can do for you so please let me do it, and please in school we do not have to talk! You’re my teacher and I am your student”
“emm that’s too much but I will try to” he took some money from his pocket “here, take the bus and don’t be late”
Emma felt little hurt that she is getting money from him “I-I- am sorry”
“aieshh don’t be you’re my little sister, and I am giving my little sister some money why sorry”
Emma hugged him “Thank you a lot” and she went to catch the bus
in the bus, the only thing she was thinking is her desire to be closer to the members.
In class, the same feelings. Sam was looking at her she was not paying attention to the lesson
“hey Emma can you please, solve this”
“ah what”
“I said solve this!”
Emma went to the board she didn’t know what to write, she didn’t know what the lesson even know
she said slowly “I don’t know”
“What I didn’t hear you”
“I said I don’t know” she was angry and trying hard to stop her tears
“so please pay attention to your lessons, now go to your place”
she was so angry couldn’t stop her tears, the whole class started laughing at her
“quite!”
Finally, school was over, Sam passed next to Emma and hit her with a book on her head “don’t be late for dinner”
Emma was still angry at what happened in class, Sam made the whole class laughed at her now.

At home, Sam was waiting for Emma it was almost midnight, and she is not home yet. He could not reach her; the phone was off whenever he tried to call her.
Then, the door opened it was Emma
“finally somebody decide to come back home”
Emma did not say anything and went straight to her room, Sam caught her from her hands
“where are you going, you think I will let this go. A girl who wasn’t home until midnight!”
“my mum never cared if I came at midnight or dawn”
“I am not your mum, where have you been” he pushed her back to the wall while his hands are on her shoulder
“I walked from school to here”
“you walked! You think I’ll believe this!”
“Don’t then”
Sam started shouting, “I know you are mad at what I did to you in the class but that was the only thing to make you wake up from your day dreaming”
“you know nothing”
“I know nothing huh! I know nothing you say! Wake up Emma you are the only one who knows nothing! Will those members help you in getting a good life, will those guys make you successful in your life, will those guys make you a better person, of course the answer is NO, they are living their life, making their dreams come true and what are you doing with your OWN life ruining it more than it is ruined!”
“Please shut up”
“No I will not! Someone have to say this to you”
Emma started crying again
“STOP CRYING! Your tears will do nothing to you! And you have to stop making your mother as an excuse of what you are living now! Your mum is gone, nothing now holds you not to get what you want get a life wake up from your day dreaming and work for your future! Your mum or the band will never ever be there for you when you need help! Get up and do something to rebuild your ruined life”
Emma pushed him away and went to her room crying, Sam went to his room to and shut the door with anger
“he doesn’t understand nothing! He did not live what I lived he did not experienced nothing! He said to get what I want! The only thing I want is them why cannot he get it! They are making their dreams come true they are my dream. Why is it too hard for everyone to understand this, I hate everyone I hate Sam I hate myself I just hate everything”
Emma stayed all night crying.

Notes