a sasaeng life *BTS*

There was a moment of silent, then Emma started to talk “it’s because of me my father left.”
“Huh?” Sam exclaim
Emma continued to talk “My mum treated me like that because my father left”
“why did your father left?”
“Well! As my mum told me, she got pregnant my father did not want kids he forced her to give an abortion but she did not want to! My father left the house and never came back or asked about her, when I was born my grandmother took care of me because mum hated me! When my grandmother died, I moved back to my mum’s house, she always kept on telling me I am the reason of her pain her suffering, sorry I will say this, every night she get fucked by different men! To be honest I do not blame her! She was just trying to fill what my father emptied,” Emma started crying again “you know, she told me once that in order to numb your pain! Take more pain, I tried it and it was useful. You know I am somehow happy because she finally will have a happy life that my father did not gave her! But” Emma could not finish what she was saying; her tears were suffocating her again. Sam hold her “and you’ll have your own happy life”
“why it is my fault?”
“It was not your fault! Your mum loved you”
“no she didn’t, she never did! If she did why did she treat me like that”
“if she hated you, she wouldn’t keep you, she would just gave an abortion, but because she loved you she couldn’t just let you die”
Emma just kept on crying and holding Sam,
“it’s okay now! It’s okay someday everything will be okay and the pain will fade away”
“I am sorry I troubled you”
“yaa stop saying that, you’re like my little sister so you’re not troubling anyone here excepted yourself, and you have to sleep! I guess tomorrow you’ll meet your bitz”
“oh! I almost forgot it!” she wiped away her tears and put a smile
“That’s the Emma I like! Always smile”
Emma went to sleep; she was excited that she will meet her Oppas because she never went to a fan meeting tickets were always expensive.
It was already morning, Emma wore her cloths she had breakfast with Sam and they drove to where the meeting was.
“ohh God my heart is racing”
“girls these days are losing their minds”
“OMG wait until you see my Oppas, they are so cute I wish I could live with them, eat with them, play with them do everything with them, their music is the only thing that made my heart alive”
“you’re making them like goddess”
“for me, they are”
In the meeting Emma was her turn to meet the guys, she was scared if they’ll remember her when she was in Jin’s room
J-hope was the first one she’ll meet
“Hello, cutie! What is your name”
Emma didn’t know what to say, it’s her first time that she will talk to them like that, she always get beaten up by the managers, or other fans. She never had the chance to talk to them like that
she started crying “Oppa! Oppa”
“ohh don’t cry ^^” j-hope wiped her tears
Sam could not take that anymore
“Oh God whatever your name is! Her name is Emma can you please give her that signature”
“Yaaaa don’t talk to my Oppa like that”
“oh God! I will have to stand this for six more times”
after j-hope gave her a signature she moved to V
“^^ Annyong!”
“Oppaaaa! Opppaaaa” she started crying and screaming
“her name Emma please write for her something” Sam said while holding her hand afraid she’ll do something crazy
“leave my hands!”
“NO! We did not came here to make a mess! If you want this meeting to finish in peace I have to do this’
“okay okay! Okaaay fine can we walk now”
she moved to Jimin, the guy who was her love her bias.
“Sam omg! I do not believe I am here! This guy is the love of my life”
“then I have to hold you tighter” when they get closer to Jimin, Emma was paralyzed looking at his face
“oh her she is Emma” Sam said again
“Emma, hey I feel like I’ve seen you before”
“oh! Really hehe” Emma tried to avoid eye contact with him she was afraid he’ll remember her
after getting the signature from Jimin it was Rapmonster, Emma tried not show her face she is afraid even more Rapmonster saw her face clearly on the day he runaway when he knew she was the girl who wrote the letter with her own blood
“my name is Emma” she said with her head down
Sam whispered “what’s wrong with you”
she whispered back “I can’t tell you now”
after Rapmonster its Jung Kook turn, she looked at him since he doesn’t know her, moving to Sugar, and then to the last one Jin. Emma was not excited that much because of her fear Jimin, Rapmonster or Jin would remember her. “Hello, what is your name?” “Emma, my name is Emma”
“what if I give you something, instead of my signature”
she felt happy and looked at him “REALLY!” then she remembered that he may know her and looked down
“you have a cute smile, I don’t do that with all my fans just the cute ones, take here you go” Jin gave a little figure of super Mario to Emma
her hands were shaking, she reached to the figure her hands touched Jins’ she felt her heart racing
“Thank you and I am sorry” she took the figure and run away Sam was following her “what’s wrong with you”
“I shouldn’t have come here! Being closer to them making me wanting to be closer to them even more! Did you know I wrote a letter to them with my blood and I, never mind”
“hmmm wait a sec I will be back”
“ya where are u going”
“just wait here” Sam went back to where the guys were, Emma waited for him outside, after some minutes Sam came back
“where did u go and what did u do?”
“Aishe, I tried to talk to them and say sorry instead of you but I couldn’t reach them”
“WHAT ARE YOU INSANE! IF THE FANS KNEW IT WAS ME I WILL BE DEAD ”
“huh?”
“OH GOD lets go you don’t know nothing”
they went back home Emma was happy and sad at the same time, happy that she got something from them and especially the little figure she got and sad cause she wanted more, she want to be next them more. That desire of wanting is hurting her, the desire of wanting the only reason, that made her heart alive, is blinding her again. She whispered to the figure “Thank you” and she kissed it.

Notes