나의 사랑, 나의 천사
Chapter Two: Then And Now
Lay timidly ate his grapes, staring blankly at the wall.
He was 'in shock'.
He was 'probably gonna take a while to get over it'.
He was 'hospitalized until he began eating better'.
He was 'headed to being anorexic'.
He was lonely.
Sooyoung visited often (about as often as her job and gas bills allowed), but he hardly glanced at her. His gaze was fixated on the wall until August 5th, a month after the accident.
"Oppa...please, you're scaring me. Look at me!" Sooyoung shook her boyfriend gently, hoping to get a response out of him, but not expecting one.
His eyes turned towards her. "Ja-jagiyah." He watched her jump, and guilt washed over him for not talking to her sooner. "Sooyoung."
Her eyes filled with tears, and she looked away. "Yixing, you've been scaring the crap out of me lately."
He gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry. I-I can't stay here."
Her eyes darted back to Lay's. "Not funny, Yixing."
He looked up at the ceiling. "I'm not joking. I need to get out of this country."
Sooyoung's eyes widened. "Zhang Yixing, stop playing!"
Lay looked at his girlfriend. "I'm not playing. You and I - we can go to America. Start over. We can be together, and after a while, we won't have to think about my parent's deaths anymore. We won't be anywhere near the area they died in. Jagiyah, think about it - you and I could move in together, get married, start a family."
Sooyoung slowly pulled away from her boyfriend. Surely he'd lost his mind. There was no way she had enough money to go to America - and he could, in no way, afford to pay for two plane tickets. "Yixing, listen to me -"
"It's everything we wanted. Only in America. It sounds so inviting...jagiyah, you and I -"
"Zhang Yixing!"
Lay looked at his girlfriend expectantly. "What?"
Sooyoung's lip quivered. "I-we can't. I can't afford the expenses of flying to America, and you couldn't possibly afford two plane tickets, plus a house for the two of us."
Lay looked away. "Obviously, I'd have to work a little overtime to get enough money to have a chance at making a living in America. We can do it together, we can -"
Sooyoung pulled her hand away from Lay. "Yixing, I can't just leave my family. I can't."
Lay continued staring at the ceiling. "I can't live here anymore, but I need you. You're the only person I have left that I love."
Sooyoung felt like crying. They had two different objectives, two that could never possibly clash together happily. "There's no way you and I can continue being together anymore then. I'm not going to America and leaving my family, Yixing. I can't do that."
Lay's bottom lip quivered lightly. His world was falling apart right before him. "I'm sorry."
Yixing ran his hand over his face, trying to rid himself of his memories. He hadn't been on a date in a year - since he broke it off with SooYoung. Even now, she seemed like the only person who would be the perfect match for him.
He could still see her round face, surrounded by bouncy light brown hair, and her pretty brown eyes.
The worse part of it was the fact that she'd gotten into a girl group.
Okay, that part wasn't so bad. Yixing was happy that she was able to chase her dreams and become a singer, dancer, model.
At least she'd gone farther in becoming what she'd wanted to be than him.
However, she seemed to have forgotten him. Every now and again, she'd be seen with another man, on dates, happier than ever.
It broke him every time.
He was half tempted to fly back to Korea, but he couldn't bring himself to ruin her life. He couldn't bring himself back to the place where his parents had died, the place that still haunted his dreams.
It seemed childish, but Korea was honestly the last place Yixing wanted to be. Yes, he missed a lot of things from there, but he couldn't force himself to go back.
"Yixing?"
The boy turned towards the doorway, where the voice had come from, still perched on the floor. "What Chanyeol?"
The younger boy looked at the helpless older one. "You're thinking about her again, aren't you?"
Yixing laughed with no humor. "What gave me away?" he asked bitterly, turning to stare at the wall in front of him.
Chanyeol sat beside his friend. "You're so sad nowadays. You weren't this depressed a few months ago," he mumbled.
Yixing scoffed. "No, I was better at hiding it a few months ago," he replied.
Chanyeol frowned. "Hyung, I think it's time for you to see a counselor."
Yixing shook his head. "I'm fine," he insisted. "Watch, I'll even play you a song - a happy song." Standing up, he grabbed his guitar and began playing a few chords. "See - it seems happy, right?"
Chanyeol chewed on his lip. Yes, it seemed happy, but there was that sad undertone that always seemed to come from Yixing's guitar. "Lay..."
He flinched at his nickname. The one Sooyoung had given him. "What?"
"Let's go to that movie you were talking about a few weeks ago. I think it's still in the theater," Chanyeol said, watching Yixing's reaction closely.
Yixing pursed his lips. "Alright." Standing up, he put his guitar back in it's case, carrying it with him to Chanyeol's car and putting it in the back seat. "And if it's not still in the theater?" he asked, climbing into the passenger seat.
Chanyeol started the car. "I think it is."
"Exo's Baekhyun is reported to be dating Girls' Generation's Kim Taeyeon -"
Yixing didn't hesitate to change the channel, ignoring Chanyeol's dirty look. "Dude, it's my car," he grumbled.
Yixing chewed on his lip. "I'm not too fond of that group," he muttered, staring out the window.
Chanyeol scoffed. "Both of them are fine."
My ex is in one. Even though he didn't say the words out loud, Chanyeol seemed to get the message and shut up about the bands, seemingly enjoying the country western that streamed from his speakers.
They still had half an hour before the movie started, and Yixing was bored. While Chanyeol had the time of his life in the arcade, Yixing was sitting alone at a table, looking at his phone. Images of Sooyoung littered the screen, and he felt his chest get tight.
Rumor: Sooyoung planning to get married?
Rumor: Sooyoung getting ready to visit America by herself?
Rumor: Sooyoung leaving SNSD?
Yixing rolled his eyes. He doubted Sooyoung would leave her band mates, unless her company forced her to - something they'd done to a girl named Jessica, who was apparently part of that group.
"Um...excuse me."
Yixing looked up. A fairly pretty woman was standing before him, holding a drink and candy. "Hi?" he said it more of a question, slightly unsure of his English. Most of what he'd been reading was Korean, and it usually took him a while to get back into the swing of speaking the native language.
"Can I sit here? All the other tables are taken.." The woman blushed and gestured behind her to prove her point.
Yixing smiled. "Sure - no problem." He sat more formally and put his phone away, trying not to be rude. "So..are you waiting for a movie?"
The woman smiled back. "Yeah. I'm gonna be watching The Mortal Instruments. The trailers for that seemed fairly good."
Yixing nodded. "It's a good movie. A little on the cheesy side though."
She laughed. "I'm Kim Yon-Yin, by the way," she said, extending a hand.
The latter smiled. "I'm Lay." He shook her hand, wondering in the back of his head why he'd decided to give her his nickname rather than his name, shrugging it off.
However, Chanyeol was watching his friend interact with a girl for the first time from the game room, losing his chance to get the blue dog he'd been trying to snag for five minutes from shock. Zhang Yixing is talking to a girl - and he's told her his nickname. What the hell? Deciding to make himself known, he walked over briskly, plopping down next to his laughing friend.
"Hyung, the movie's gonna start in a few," he said, nudging Yixing's foot with his own.
The latter pursed his lips. "Alright. It was nice meeting you Yon-Yin. Have a nice day," he said, smiling. Suddenly, at Chanyeol's appearance, he felt himself slip into the old habit of being formal, though he was laughing just moments ago.
"Yah! What was that for?" Yixing complained, rubbing the now-sore spot on his head.
Chanyeol gestured behind him at Yon-Yin, now sitting lonely at her table. "You didn't even bother to ask her what movie she was seeing? Dude, you need to get your mind off Sooyoung. It's been an entire year."
Yixing scoffed. "I already did - she's watching Mortal Instruments. We saw that last week, remember?"
Chanyeol rolled his eyes. "I'm sure the staff wouldn't notice us sneaking in there. I'm serious - she seemed interested in you."
It was Yixing's turn to roll his eyes. "You're just seeing things." Even he could tell his words were a lie - he knew Kim Yon-Yin was interested.
Chanyeol threw him a doubtful look. "Whatever. We're still gonna watch that movie and pray like lost puppies that she'll sit next to us."
He was 'in shock'.
He was 'probably gonna take a while to get over it'.
He was 'hospitalized until he began eating better'.
He was 'headed to being anorexic'.
He was lonely.
Sooyoung visited often (about as often as her job and gas bills allowed), but he hardly glanced at her. His gaze was fixated on the wall until August 5th, a month after the accident.
"Oppa...please, you're scaring me. Look at me!" Sooyoung shook her boyfriend gently, hoping to get a response out of him, but not expecting one.
His eyes turned towards her. "Ja-jagiyah." He watched her jump, and guilt washed over him for not talking to her sooner. "Sooyoung."
Her eyes filled with tears, and she looked away. "Yixing, you've been scaring the crap out of me lately."
He gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry. I-I can't stay here."
Her eyes darted back to Lay's. "Not funny, Yixing."
He looked up at the ceiling. "I'm not joking. I need to get out of this country."
Sooyoung's eyes widened. "Zhang Yixing, stop playing!"
Lay looked at his girlfriend. "I'm not playing. You and I - we can go to America. Start over. We can be together, and after a while, we won't have to think about my parent's deaths anymore. We won't be anywhere near the area they died in. Jagiyah, think about it - you and I could move in together, get married, start a family."
Sooyoung slowly pulled away from her boyfriend. Surely he'd lost his mind. There was no way she had enough money to go to America - and he could, in no way, afford to pay for two plane tickets. "Yixing, listen to me -"
"It's everything we wanted. Only in America. It sounds so inviting...jagiyah, you and I -"
"Zhang Yixing!"
Lay looked at his girlfriend expectantly. "What?"
Sooyoung's lip quivered. "I-we can't. I can't afford the expenses of flying to America, and you couldn't possibly afford two plane tickets, plus a house for the two of us."
Lay looked away. "Obviously, I'd have to work a little overtime to get enough money to have a chance at making a living in America. We can do it together, we can -"
Sooyoung pulled her hand away from Lay. "Yixing, I can't just leave my family. I can't."
Lay continued staring at the ceiling. "I can't live here anymore, but I need you. You're the only person I have left that I love."
Sooyoung felt like crying. They had two different objectives, two that could never possibly clash together happily. "There's no way you and I can continue being together anymore then. I'm not going to America and leaving my family, Yixing. I can't do that."
Lay's bottom lip quivered lightly. His world was falling apart right before him. "I'm sorry."
Yixing ran his hand over his face, trying to rid himself of his memories. He hadn't been on a date in a year - since he broke it off with SooYoung. Even now, she seemed like the only person who would be the perfect match for him.
He could still see her round face, surrounded by bouncy light brown hair, and her pretty brown eyes.
The worse part of it was the fact that she'd gotten into a girl group.
Okay, that part wasn't so bad. Yixing was happy that she was able to chase her dreams and become a singer, dancer, model.
At least she'd gone farther in becoming what she'd wanted to be than him.
However, she seemed to have forgotten him. Every now and again, she'd be seen with another man, on dates, happier than ever.
It broke him every time.
He was half tempted to fly back to Korea, but he couldn't bring himself to ruin her life. He couldn't bring himself back to the place where his parents had died, the place that still haunted his dreams.
It seemed childish, but Korea was honestly the last place Yixing wanted to be. Yes, he missed a lot of things from there, but he couldn't force himself to go back.
"Yixing?"
The boy turned towards the doorway, where the voice had come from, still perched on the floor. "What Chanyeol?"
The younger boy looked at the helpless older one. "You're thinking about her again, aren't you?"
Yixing laughed with no humor. "What gave me away?" he asked bitterly, turning to stare at the wall in front of him.
Chanyeol sat beside his friend. "You're so sad nowadays. You weren't this depressed a few months ago," he mumbled.
Yixing scoffed. "No, I was better at hiding it a few months ago," he replied.
Chanyeol frowned. "Hyung, I think it's time for you to see a counselor."
Yixing shook his head. "I'm fine," he insisted. "Watch, I'll even play you a song - a happy song." Standing up, he grabbed his guitar and began playing a few chords. "See - it seems happy, right?"
Chanyeol chewed on his lip. Yes, it seemed happy, but there was that sad undertone that always seemed to come from Yixing's guitar. "Lay..."
He flinched at his nickname. The one Sooyoung had given him. "What?"
"Let's go to that movie you were talking about a few weeks ago. I think it's still in the theater," Chanyeol said, watching Yixing's reaction closely.
Yixing pursed his lips. "Alright." Standing up, he put his guitar back in it's case, carrying it with him to Chanyeol's car and putting it in the back seat. "And if it's not still in the theater?" he asked, climbing into the passenger seat.
Chanyeol started the car. "I think it is."
"Exo's Baekhyun is reported to be dating Girls' Generation's Kim Taeyeon -"
Yixing didn't hesitate to change the channel, ignoring Chanyeol's dirty look. "Dude, it's my car," he grumbled.
Yixing chewed on his lip. "I'm not too fond of that group," he muttered, staring out the window.
Chanyeol scoffed. "Both of them are fine."
My ex is in one. Even though he didn't say the words out loud, Chanyeol seemed to get the message and shut up about the bands, seemingly enjoying the country western that streamed from his speakers.
They still had half an hour before the movie started, and Yixing was bored. While Chanyeol had the time of his life in the arcade, Yixing was sitting alone at a table, looking at his phone. Images of Sooyoung littered the screen, and he felt his chest get tight.
Rumor: Sooyoung planning to get married?
Rumor: Sooyoung getting ready to visit America by herself?
Rumor: Sooyoung leaving SNSD?
Yixing rolled his eyes. He doubted Sooyoung would leave her band mates, unless her company forced her to - something they'd done to a girl named Jessica, who was apparently part of that group.
"Um...excuse me."
Yixing looked up. A fairly pretty woman was standing before him, holding a drink and candy. "Hi?" he said it more of a question, slightly unsure of his English. Most of what he'd been reading was Korean, and it usually took him a while to get back into the swing of speaking the native language.
"Can I sit here? All the other tables are taken.." The woman blushed and gestured behind her to prove her point.
Yixing smiled. "Sure - no problem." He sat more formally and put his phone away, trying not to be rude. "So..are you waiting for a movie?"
The woman smiled back. "Yeah. I'm gonna be watching The Mortal Instruments. The trailers for that seemed fairly good."
Yixing nodded. "It's a good movie. A little on the cheesy side though."
She laughed. "I'm Kim Yon-Yin, by the way," she said, extending a hand.
The latter smiled. "I'm Lay." He shook her hand, wondering in the back of his head why he'd decided to give her his nickname rather than his name, shrugging it off.
However, Chanyeol was watching his friend interact with a girl for the first time from the game room, losing his chance to get the blue dog he'd been trying to snag for five minutes from shock. Zhang Yixing is talking to a girl - and he's told her his nickname. What the hell? Deciding to make himself known, he walked over briskly, plopping down next to his laughing friend.
"Hyung, the movie's gonna start in a few," he said, nudging Yixing's foot with his own.
The latter pursed his lips. "Alright. It was nice meeting you Yon-Yin. Have a nice day," he said, smiling. Suddenly, at Chanyeol's appearance, he felt himself slip into the old habit of being formal, though he was laughing just moments ago.
"Yah! What was that for?" Yixing complained, rubbing the now-sore spot on his head.
Chanyeol gestured behind him at Yon-Yin, now sitting lonely at her table. "You didn't even bother to ask her what movie she was seeing? Dude, you need to get your mind off Sooyoung. It's been an entire year."
Yixing scoffed. "I already did - she's watching Mortal Instruments. We saw that last week, remember?"
Chanyeol rolled his eyes. "I'm sure the staff wouldn't notice us sneaking in there. I'm serious - she seemed interested in you."
It was Yixing's turn to roll his eyes. "You're just seeing things." Even he could tell his words were a lie - he knew Kim Yon-Yin was interested.
Chanyeol threw him a doubtful look. "Whatever. We're still gonna watch that movie and pray like lost puppies that she'll sit next to us."
Notes
Haiii :D
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~Bambii xx
