Cherry Blossom Winter~ To Lack, To Find

Kyung Soo had trouble sleeping that night, but he did manage to doze in and out of consciousness occasionally. He had a dream that he remembered about Bom. She was wearing a long white dress with delicate lace for sleeves. She was standing at the entrance of a densely wooded forest and was gesturing for Kyung Soo to come to her.

“Come find me…” she said in the dream, her voice slightly echoic and lethargically. “Come find me…” she cried towards him over and over. But, no matter how hard Kyung Soo tried, he kept moving further and further away. Bom turned slowly and walked into the forest, looking back twice at him with a depressingly desperate look on her face.

Kyung Soo went to scream “No! Don’t go in there!” but found her could not say a word. His voice sounded like a whisper and his lips refused to form words. “Don’t go.”

“Kyung Soo, Shut up! It’s like two am!” came a voice and Kyung Soo snapped to reality. It was JongIn. “You keep talking in your sleep. It’s annoying.”

“What did I say?” Kyung Soo asked still dazed from sleep filled eyes.

“No don’t go blah blah” JongIn repeated, sneering the words in a mumble. JongIn rolled over and didn’t make another sound until he started faintly snoring.

Kyung Soo sat in silence, staring at the ceiling. He was making out faces on that ceiling in the dark and did that for a while until he began to doze. He dozed back off to sleep, but had no more weird dreams.

~~~

In the morning, Kyung Soo was extremely tired. The guys made fun of his dark circles and the makeup artists stressed over them. He made the decision not to tell Bom that he found out she was a hostess. He realized he had been stressing over what to do, so being his problem-solving-and-compartmentalizing-self he decided to put that issue on a shelf to get it out of his way, metaphorically of course.

It was a photo shoot day, meaning Kyung Soo and everyone else would be spending the day at whatever studio they were scheduled at. No peaceful time today, it was looking like.

The first set of photos was taken and the crew was breaking down that set to make a new one, so everyone was waiting in the wait area. Everyone was on their phones doing whatever and some members were having conversations with each other or just goofing aroung.

Kyung Soo needed a break so he asked an assistant photographer where the bathroom was and she directed him towards the stairs explaining it was out the door through the hall and behind the green door. Kyung Soo followed the instructions and headed out the door. He stopped on the stairs. He heard hushed voices from the flight above him.

“Did you hear about that one new idol group, hmm what was their name again…”

“Wait, are you talking about that one with the pervert leader?”

“Yeah! You heard? I can’t believe he was caught with a prostitute. Its disgusting,”

“I heard he spent thousands on prostitutes a week…”

“Omo, really?! That’s so much!”

“Yeah his family is rich or whatever…”

Just then the door to the studio opened. “Girls, the backdrop sheet is up… come set up the lights. Quickly, quickly,” a male assistant said. Kyung Soo was just behind the staircase in that hall so he wasn’t spotted by either other party and stood there for a good minute contemplating what he heard. Those girls were so harsh. Of course he had heard of that new idol who had done that, but he didn’t think it was a big deal. It was bad for publicity, sure, but it didn’t really deserve that much gossip.

I guess it was lucky Kyung Soo didn’t get caught going into that Hostess Bar. That would’ve been detrimental to his career, obviously. But he was growing a friendship with a hostess, and that was bad too. He had to stop seeing her, stop visiting that park bench, stop looking for her everywhere he went. If someone found out, it would not be good for publicity at all. He would probably get kicked out of SM Entertainment.

Making his final decision to no longer see Bom, he continued on to the bathroom and then back to the studio for the photo shoot afterwards.

When he entered again everyone was already over at the backdrop.

“Oh! There you are. I knew we were missing someone…” the head photographer said. “Go stand by Chanyeol,” he instructed.

“Kyung Soo-yah, over here!” Chanyeol shouted.

~~~

After the long photo shoot and an interview, everyone was exhausted. The managers were feeling nice and took everyone out to dinner, or what should have been dinner. Everyone decided on Korean Barbeque, Kyung Soo didn’t complain. It was 3 am and the restaurant was completely empty except for Exo.

Despite the extreme exhaustion of the group everyone was lively. They all talked about everyone and everything. So many voices, it was completely overwhelming. Kyung Soo couldn’t take it. He began, half in jest, plotting an escape method. He had decided that he would fake a stomach ache or something when his phone began buzzing in his pocket. Kyung Soo pulled it out and examined the caller. It read 'BOMBOM(:'. He stared at it for a good few seconds straight before he came back to his senses.

He leaned over to Yixing whom he was sitting next to at the table. “Tell the managers I went outside to take an important call if they ask…” Yixing glanced at Kyung Soo and nodded making a noise of understanding.

Kyung Soo got up quietly and scurried outside. It was a chilly night. Autumn had definitely arrived. “Hello?” He answered quickly.

“Hello?!” a panicked voice came.

“Bom?” Kyung Soo questioned alarmed.

“I... I didn’t know who else to call… I…” There were shouts in the background. They sounded angry, and then a siren began. “Can you come get me?” She continued. A ruckus out broke louder than the other noise but Kyung Soo swore he heard Bom say “I’m scared…” in a small voice. Immediately he jumped into action.

“Where are you?” He asked frantically.

“Secret Love Room Salon…” She started. “…In Cheongnyangni 588…” Kyung Soo was too worried to care what area she was in. “Please come… I… I don’t like this…” The complete and utter innocence in her voice drew Kyung Soo to her, like she was a siren and Kyung Soo was a hopeless sailor. He needed to help her, no matter the consequences.

“Don’t worry… I’m on my way. Wait out front, I’ll be to you shortly.” Kyung Soo hung up the phone and walked towards the street to wave down a taxi. As soon as one stopped he stepped in.

“Where?” the driver asked.

“Uhhh…” Kyung Soo stuttered. “Secret Love Room Salon in Cheongnyangni 588…” The driver gave him a weird look in the mirror and Kyung Soo felt the embarrassment rush to his face.
“What?” he asked accusingly. The cabbie shook his head and started driving. Kyung Soo put on his red beanie that he always carried and took out his new glasses and put them on.

Unable to sit still in the seemingly endless cab ride, he pulled out his phone and texted Chanyeol to tell the managers he caught a taxi back to the dorm. Chanyeol told him “Okay, but hurry up! If they return and you’re not there, you’ll be in so much trouble!”

Kyung Soo understood that he would, but this right now was much more important than anything else in the world.

He watched the city streets pass by; lights, buildings, people, life. The Taxi finally pulled up to the hostess bar and Kyung Soo spotted a group of drunk men, but no Bom. He quickly grew concerned, but soon saw that Bom was within that group of men. Her shoulders were tensed and her hands were up to her face. It was clear she did not want that attention. The taxi stopped and Kyung Soo told the cabbie to wait because he would need a ride back.

Kyung Soo basically leapt out of the taxi and made his way to Bom. He was so angry. He was angry at the men, first off, for bothering Bom, but he was also angry at Bom for putting herself in this situation. His fists were clenched and knuckles were white.

He approached the circle of men and shouted “YAH!” All the men except one turned and looked at him, confused. Bom looked over, too, and her expression read as relieved, as if she was looking at an angel. Kyung Soo saw that there were tears streaming down her face. Her nose was bright pink and lips bloated from crying. She had been terrified.

Kyung Soo grabbed her wrist and began to drag her to the waiting taxi. The man that was the only to not turn earlier put up a protest.

“Wait wait wait.” He began nonchalantly. “You can’t take her. She’s mine, not yours.” The man walked over to Bom with a cocky swagger and hands in his pockets. He took one hand out and placed it around Bom’s shoulders. Bom flinched away from the touch but the man had hold of her shoulder, preventing any movement. He looked at Kyung Soo with such belittlement; Kyung Soo became enraged even further. “I paid for her… she’s mine for the night.” The man said after a good ten seconds of staring. At that statement, Kyung Soo felt he could not withhold his rage. He felt it boil over like a pot left unwatched on the stove.

Kyung Soo turned to walk away with Bom, but the man would not let them leave. “The slut’s mine.” That was the last straw, Kyung Soo thought to himself. He turned around slowly.

“Excuse me?” Kyung Soo asked.

“The. Slut. Is. Mine.” The man said stepping closer and closer to Kyung Soo with each word. Kyung Soo could smell the soju on the man’s breath. He was swimming in it. Kyung Soo was so livid, he felt his arm lift, but wasn’t totally controlling it. It was like an outer body experience, and before he knew it, his fist landed straight on the man’s nose.

The man stumbled backwards, surprised at the blow, and put his hand to his now bloodied nose. Kyung Soo re-secured his grip on Bom’s wrist and quickly dragged her the rest of the way to the taxi. He opened the door on the passenger side back seat, and basically threw her into the car, slamming the door behind her. He looked back and saw the group of men approaching the taxi, very angry, so Kyung Soo jogged around the back of the car and quickly put himself into the back seat of the driver’s side as well.

“Start driving! NOW!” he shouted at the taxi driver. The taxi leapt from the curb, leaving the angry mob behind them. “Where do you live?” Kyung Soo asked Bom with no emotion and without even looking at her. He was trying to cool down, but he process was happening much slower than he would like. She said her address and the cab began to head in that direction.

He peered down at his phone and realized he had 5 messages. He had two from Chanyeol, one from Baekyun, one from Yixing, and one from JongIn. They basically all said the same thing: that he needed to get his butt back to the dorm because the band was on its way back in the van. Chanyeol’s second message let Kyung Soo know that traffic was sort of backed up and that that gave him time to get home.

“Scratch that,” he said to the cabbie. “Turn right here.” Kyung Soo instructed the driver. Kyung soo then gave the driver the address to Exo’s dorm and told him to go there instead.

Bom looked at Kyung Soo with utter confusion, but didn’t complain. One doesn’t complain to his or her angel. Five minutes passed, and Kyung Soo looked at Bom to say, “I’m not kidnapping you, I swear…” Bom gave a soft chuckle. It was so beautiful, that chuckle. Bom was beautiful, Kyung Soo found himself thinking. He smiled. His anger had subsided greatly.

The taxi approached the front side of the dorm, but the sasaengs were waiting outside as well as the band van. It was stalling 10 yards away from the building and sasaengs were surrounding it. Kyung Soo knew he would have a good ten minutes until the managers entered the house from that point. He informed the cabbie to drive around to the back of the building.

As the taxi passed the van, Kyung Soo saw that Chanyeol was peering out of the window. He locked eyes with Kyung Soo and smiled, giving him the thumbs up sign, then looked at Bom for a second before he turned to prepare to get out of the van.

It was approximately three minutes before the taxi was around the back. Kyung Soo could still hear the screaming saesangs out front as he emerged from the taxi, which was a good sign. He still had some time to get in the house.

“Come on.” He told Bom, gesturing for her to follow him.

“What?” she asked confused. “Oh, no, I’m fine. I’ll just take this taxi home. I can pay for the ride…” She told him. Kyung Soo gave a side glance to the driver. He didn’t feel comfortable leaving Bom with any man after what had happened earlier that night.

Kyung Soo grabbed his wallet and pullout 100,000 won and gave it to the cabbie. “Here, that should more than cover it.” Kyung Soo then gestured for Bom to follow him. “Come on! I’d take you home myself but I have to get in before my managers do or else I’ll get in so much trouble,” he pleaded with Bom. “Once everyone is asleep, I’ll take you to your house. You shouldn’t be alone after what happened,” Kyung Soo continued, uncharacteristically sympathetic.

Bom was confused by the words ‘managers’, Kyung Soo could tell. But she just said “I’m a big girl, I can…”

“No!” Kyung Soo cut her off. “Come on, follow me…” He grabbed Bom’s wrist. She slid over and out of the driver’s side back seat.

The sasaeng fan screams were starting to die down, which was a bad sign, a very bad sign.
Kyung Soo sprinted, with Bom’s wrist still in hand, to the back door. He got the key out from under the damn mat, which was an awful place to hide it might he add, because any sasaeng fan could get in the dorm if they tried hard enough. He unlocked the door and they both ran through the dorm, to Kyung Soo’s room. JongIn was already there, but the managers had not all come in yet. Some were still outside making sure all the members were inside safely.

“Wh-wha—” JongIn began to say dumbfounded and eyes wide.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Kyung Soo pleaded. “I need a place to hide her.”

They both heard a manager’s voice from down the hall. The glanced toward the open door, and then glanced at each other. JongIn sprang into action, opening the free-standing wardrobe they had in their dorm. He opened the doors lightning fast and pushed the hanging clothing aside, instructed for Bom to get him, and pushed the clothing back. There was just enough space for Bom to fit back there without it being noticeable.

Just then, a manager entered. “There you are, Kyung Soo!” He said. “Chanyeol said you weren’t feeling well, but you look fine to me… You had us worried…”

“Uh… Uhm… yeah! I wasn’t feeling well earlier, I think it was the beef. I haven’t had any meat in a long time, my body just wasn’t used to it. I didn’t want to ruin everyone else’s time though, so I just left quietly. I’m feeling much better now that I rested a little bit..” Kyung Soo explained. He felt relieved. But then the manager’s gaze fell down to Kyung Soo’s hand.

JongIn’s gaze followed as well as Kyung Soo’s own gaze. His hand was bruising, and it was bruisingreally badly. It was completely black and blue and there was a cut on his knuckle oozing dark red blood and dripping onto the floor.

“Aigooaigooaigooaigoo!” the manager shouted coming to Kyung Soo’s aid, or so Kyung Soo thought. The manager was actually bending down to clean up the blood on the floor. Go figure.

“Oh… Sorry…” Kyung Soo muttered, inspecting his hand. “I, uh, fell getting out of the taxi.”

The manager was too preoccupied with the stained carpet to care how Kyung Soo may have injured himself. “How am I supposed to clean this up, the landlord is going to kill me…” the manager was muttering into the carpet. JongIn bent over to try and help, but the Manager Lee just bat his hand away and told him to help Kyung Soo clean cut and bandage his hand.

A second manager, manager Kim met them in the hall because he heard the shouts of manager Lee. He reprimanded Kyung Soo for being so clumsy and careless, telling him he would have to perform tomorrow anyways, regardless of injury. Manager Kim then walked into the room with cleaning solution he had in his hand to help clean up the blood.

JongIn walked to the bathroom to get the band aids and Kyung Soo followed him in, turning on the sink to wash off the cut. Once the blood was washed off, Kyung Soo inspected his hand. It was badly bruised. His knuckle was completely blue and the area beyond the knuckle was purple and faded out to a yellow red. He chuckled. He must’ve hit that guy really hard. JongIn looked over at him, handed him a couple of band aids, and walked out.

The cut that he needed to bandage was right across his index, middle, and ring finger knuckles and it hurt significantly to clench his hand into a fist. Kyung Soo found it remarkable that he had not felt the injury before this moment.

“Wow. How does the other guy look?” It was Kris.

“Oh, I just fell out of the taxi I took home. I’m clumsy, you know that,” Kyung Soo replied.

“I know what a hand looks like after a hit, believe me. You must’ve hit the guy hard to get a bruise like that. I’m kinda proud of you, didn’t know you had it in you…” Kris patted Kyung Soo on the head and walked away.

Kyung Soo hated to be talked down upon, so it didn’t help that Kris was both older than him and so much taller than him. He was being talked down upon both physically and metaphorically.

Kyung Soo immediately realized he had left Bom in that wardrobe and alone in the room with the managers. He quickly fell into a panicked state. He slapped on the band aids and ran back to his room. He found the stain was still slightly there despite the efforts of the managers and the managers were gone. JongIn was sitting on his bed and didn’t even look at Kyung Soo when he entered.

Kyung Soo shut the door and waited. Everyone slowly started to wind down and in about fifteen or twenty minutes, all the lights were off and everyone was asleep, even JongIn across the room.

Kyung Soo slowly and quietly got up to let Bom out of the wardrobe. Before he opened it he called out to her.

“Bom?” he whispered.

No answer.

“Bom?” he tried again.

No answer once again. Was she not in there? Did she leave? How?

He was a little alarmed at the lack of answer but when he opened the door and moved the clothes he found a sleeping Bom.

He smiled a little at the sight. How cute, he thought to himself. He lifted her out of the wardrobe. She was surprisingly light, even for a 155 centimeter tall girl with tiny thin extremities. He laid her on his bed, and covered her with his blanket. He went to the living room area of the dorm to get a sleeping cushion some extra blankets for him to sleep on. He made sure to shut the door on his way out to avoid being caught.

When he got back he pulled a chair up to the door to lock it, since none of the dorm’s doors had locks on them. He quietly set up his sleeping arrangement and went to sleep. Since he was so exhausted from what had happened he fell right into a deep sleep and didn’t stir, not even once. It was the best sleep he had had in long time.

Notes