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Cherry Blossom Winter~ To Lack, To Find

Where is Bom?

The next couple days, Kyung Soo’s practice ended pretty late, so when he ventured down the alley, he never saw Bom. But that next Friday, Practice ended early, the same time it did when he saw Bom for the first time. He really wanted to see her again. He didn’t know why, but he genuinely wondered how she was doing and if she had had a good day or a bad day or even found a new stray cat to feed. When he ventured down the alley that day, he half expected to see Bom standing there feeding the cats. He was surprised to find that she wasn’t. There were also no cans, empty or full, on the brick fence. He found that odd and extremely worrisome. Where was she? Had something happened?

Kyung Soo was so worried. Suddenly he heard someone approaching the alley from behind him. The footsteps gradually became louder and louder. He thought for sure it was Bom. Instantly relieved, he decided to not turn around to avoid looking like he was searching for her. Then a hand touched his shoulder, and he turned around. To his surprise it was Baekhyun.

“What?” Baekhyun asked, seeing the surprise on Kyung Soo’s face. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I… Uh… What are you doing here?” Kyung Soo asked

“The rest of the guys are going home, but I didn’t feel like going home yet. We never do anything. Everyone always just goes home and sits around. I saw you leave out the back door so I decided to catch up with you and see what you were up to,” Baekhyun explained. “So what’s the plan?”

“Uhhh…” Kyung Soo didn’t have a plan, he really just wanted to know where Bom was. “I was going to go to Hongdae, I guess…” Kyung Soo decided. He wanted to see if there was any sign of Bom there.

“Oh! We can go together!” Baekhyun said, overly excited.

“Umm…” Kyung Soo didn’t really want Baekhyun to join him, but didn’t fight him on it. “Okay, if you want to…”

So they were off, headed for the subway. About to exit the alley, Kyung Soo stopped abruptly.

“You need to put some sort of disguise on, Baekhyun,” Kyung Soo didn’t want to get recognized, and trampled, especially. With the both of them out at the same time, they would garner so much attention. “Do you have a hat or maybe some sunglasses?” Kyung Soo asked urgently. They were so near the entrance to the street, crowds of people were just around the corner.

“I have these,” Baekhyun said pulling out a pair of wayfarer-style sunglasses.

“Take this too,” Kyung Soo stated handing Baekhyun the beanie in his own back pocket. Baekhyun wasn’t wearing a hooded garment, so as a quick-fix Baekhyun would have to make the sunglasses and beanie work, and Kyung Soo would have to make his hoodie and his own pair of sunglasses work. Good thing it was sunny out, the two of them wouldn’t look so stupid.

Equipped with their new “disguises” they headed straight for the subway. They swiped their cards, entered underground, and stood waiting for the train to Hongdae. Kyung Soo nervously peered around, hoping no one would recognize the two of them together. The train arrived and the car was packed. Shit. Rush hour, Kyung Soo thought to himself. He started to move to one of the doors that connected the cars to see if the next car was packed too. It was. Baekhyun looked around and found a bar to hold onto, and Kyung Soo followed.

The train started moving with a jolt to start, and someone bumped into Kyung Soo. He didn’t look over his shoulder to see, but heard a mumbled “I’m sorry.” Baekhyun giggled at Kyung Soo because the face he made. “Kyung Soo-yah, your face is hilarious,” he said.

A girl in the distance looked up. The quick movement caught Kyung Soo’s attention. They made eye contact, visible recognition in the girl’s eyes. Kyung Soo looked away quickly and elbowed Baekhyun. “Yah! Don’t say my name loudly like that, people will hear and recognize me,” Kyung Soo warned in a whisper.

The train came to a stop, not at Hongdae yet. The girl got up, still staring at Kyung Soo, and began to approach him. Kyung Soo didn’t know if this was her stop, or if she was coming to blow his cover, but he didn’t care. Panicking, he said to Baekhyun “We’re getting off here.”

They exited the train, and lead by Kyung Soo, the two of them quickly walked, almost ran, to get lost in the crowd and escape that girl. Baekhyun didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t see the girl, so when Kyung Soo explained why they had to get off here he made fun of Kyung Soo.

“Yah, Kyung Soo, you are crazy paranoid, no one will recognize us.” Baekhyun was probably right, but Kyung Soo was so on edge, especially that day. He just wanted to find Bom and as the time ticked on he became more and more worried about her which in turn made him become more and more paranoid about everything.

Kyung Soo never really wanted fame. He just wanted to sing. He thought that if he made it his profession he would never have to do anything but sing, just like he wanted. But, this new fame, it was another consequence Kyung Soo had to deal with.

“So where should we go?” Baekhyun asked.

“I need to check something…” Kyung Soo replied, not fully answering the question. Baekhyun shrugged and followed Kyung Soo anyway and didn’t complain.

~~~

Baekhyun and Kyung Soo made it to the free park, and entered with no more scares of fan recognition. “Why are we here?” Baekhyun asked. “What could you possibly have to check in a free park?”

“It’ll just take a second…” Kyung Soo said somewhat irritated. He headed directly to the hidden bench to see if there were any signs of Bom. When he got there, he found no empty cat food can, no stray cat, and lastly, no Bom. Where was she?

Starting to get really worried, Kyung Soo emerged from the grove swiftly and started speed walking towards the entrance of the park to leave.

“Kyung Soo?! What’s going on? Where are we going now?” Baekhyun shouted, obviously bored just following Kyung Soo around. “Let’s go do something fun!”

“I just have one more place to check,” Kyung Soo told him. Where had Bom said she was going when her and Kyung Soo walked to the subway together? Dongdaemun-gu. That’s right. But that area was so large. How would Kyung Soo find her there? Finally becoming reasonably minded again, Kyung Soo started to feel bad for dragging his friend around running all around town.his pace slowed. “Let’s go get something to eat. How does that sound?” Kyung Soo still wanted to head over to Dongdaemun-gu to look for Bom but just as he was about to suggest going to a restaurant there Baekhyun suggested going to Gangnam.

“Let’s go to Gangnam! Remember that one new restaurant you wanted to try out? What was it called…”

Kyung Soo was tired and began to shame himself for caring so much about this random girl he barely knew. Why was he so interested anyways? He agreed to Baekhyun’s suggestion. It was closer to the dorms so it would be easier to get back on time.

~~~

After the long subway ride back to Gangnam, Kyung Soo and Baekhyun were wandering the streets trying to find this new restaurant. They were passing stores, cafes, restaurants of all shapes and sizes, but could not find the one they were thinking of. They started entering the slightly sketchy area of Gangnam that housed the host and hostess clubs. They decided they wouldn’t be able to find the restaurant that day so they turned around and headed back towards the direction they came. The two boys settled on a café and had some coffee and bread.

Kyung Soo, still slightly concerned about not seeing Bom at all that day peered out the window while Baekhyun went on and on about this huge crush he had on Taeyeon-sunbae. Exo and SNSD's comebacks sometimes synced up with each others and this time around it was no different. SNSD had been around building lately, especially the practice rooms, so the two groups had been seeing a lot of eachother. “She’s so pretty, exactly my type…”

Kyung Soo nodded where fit and mhmed and uhuhed where necessary but was completely preoccupied with the characters he saw out the window. An old woman with bags much too heavy for her, a young child with their big brother eating hoddeuk (probably the first of the season), college students dressed in their best headed for a night club, and then he saw a girl.

This girl looked just like Bom. She was on the arm of an older man and they slowly walked down the street. This girl, unlike Bom’s plain hoodie and jeans, was wearing a lavender chiffon dress with expensive looking gems on the bust area. It fell mid-thigh, and swayed mystically when she walked. The girl looked so beautiful, full face of makeup, hair curled gently and pinned back in the front.

It looked just like Bom, but the Bom that Kyung Soo had the pleasure of meeting was not this done up both times he saw her, and was actually quite simple looking. Kyung Soo continued to stare with his mouth open slightly, in awe. The Bom look-a-like glanced at him through the window and quickly looked away as if embarrassed. Was it really Bom? Her pace sped up and quickly she was out of sight.

What was she doing with that man. Was that her father? Boyfriend? No, couldn’t be, he was too old. At this point Kyung Soo was no longer half listening to Baekhyun, and Baekhyun quickly took notice. “Kyung Soo? Are you even listening?”

“Huh?” Kyung Soo was snapped back to reality out of his state of wondering. He quickly returned his glance to Baekhyun and said “Sorry… I..”

Baekhyun interrupted Kyung Soo midsentence. “What, did you get distracted by a pretty girl?” he asked chuckling lightheartedly. “Was she really that gorgeous? You were staring with your mouth wide open heh heh…” Kyung Soo didn’t answer for a moment.

“No, I just thought I saw someone I knew, but it wasn’t them.” Kyung Soo said looking down.

“Ohhhkaayy…” Baekhyun drew out. “Anyways…” Baekhyun seem unhindered by Kyung Soo’s newly assumed solemn disposition and continued babbling on.

Kyung Soo couldn’t get over what he had seen. It had to be Bom. Who was that old guy though? He was drawn back to their conversation on the bench all those days ago. She had had a phone call. She spoke in fluent English, saying something about a flight being canceled. Why did that float back to his mind? What relevance could that have in this situation, he thought to himself.

When Baekhyun finished his bread, Kyung Soo had barely touched his. “are you gonna eat that?” Baekhyun wondered.

“No, you can have it,” Kyung Soo replied, picking up the bread and handing it to him. Their coffees were drained, so they decided to leave, and Baekhyun ate the bread on the walk home. In order to get to the dorm from the café the two boys had to head back through the area of Gangnam that housed the elite host and hostess clubs and bars. This area was the more sketchy part of Gangnam, but the host clubs in Seoul’s red light dirstrict, Cheongnyangni 588 in the Dongdaemun-gu area, were much worse compared to these high end clubs.

Kyung Soo had never been inside one of these clubs. He was too young and then he was a trainee and had no time. Now he’s an idol and doesn’t enter because it’s bad for publicity. It didn’t bother him; he never wished or wanted to go into one anyways. He never even usually ventured to this part of Gangnam.

Baekhyun was silent for once. Kyung Soo had some peace and quiet, finally. He looked over at Baekhyun, who was on the side of the sidewalk nearest to the street, and Baekhyun was looking into one of the Hostess clubs they were passing. “Ever been in one?” He asked eyes still on the club.

“No” Kyung Soo replied. “You?”

“No, I haven’t either. But I always like to look in the window. Everyone inside always look like they’re having so much fun. I always wonder if they really are, or is it some grand charade. They all look like old friends talking and drinking, when really half of them are getting paid and half are paying for companionship. It’s unfair. Some get companionship and make money, some lose money, and most of all some get it for free. In a way that’s the worst. In that situation, no one can offer anything in return. At least when you’re paying or paid, you understand each other’s situations,” Baekhyun had a point. Kyung Soo was thinking about what Baekhyun said the rest of the walk home.

When the two finally got home it was pretty late. They had ended up being out for hours and it was already midnight. The sasaeng fans were still awake at this point, so they needed to sneak in through the back, which meant they had to walk around the block. This made them even later for curfew. Kyung Soo wasn’t too worried because he had walked in much later last Friday and didn’t get in trouble. But this time, when Baekhyun and Kyung Soo entered they were met with two angry managers.

“Shit.” They both said in unison.

“Where have you two been?! You cannot stay out this late when we have a comeback quickly approaching. Do you know when your comeback is? Huh?” One shouted.

“Two weeks” the two boys mumbled like children being scolded by their mother.

“That’s right. Two weeks. And do you know how much more we have to all prepare. We. Are. A. Team. You two cannot just go gallivanting around when you need all the rest you can get,” the same manager completed. Then the other manager started scolding as well, but in a normal speaking tone and much softer than the first one.

“This has to be a team effort, guys. It takes all of us to pull it off, so we all must pull our weight.” Kyung Soo was so embarrassed. He could feel his face getting red. “Just don’t let it happen again, okay?”

“Okay,” both the boys replied.

After they were out of earshot, Baekhyun sighed and said, “Wow that was a little harsh.” Kyung Soo didn’t reply, and the two separated, Baekhyun heading into the bathroom to shower and Kyung Soo heading into his room.

JongIn was sitting on his bed with Sehun and they were both looking at JongIn’s computer screen. When Kyung Soo entered JongIn looked up.

“Told you you’d get in trouble,” he said.

Kyung Soo looked at him grudgingly. As if it wasn’t enough that he had already gotten an earful from the managers. JongIn subsequently dropped the subject and didn’t mention it again for the rest of the night.

~~~

The next day after practice, the managers told Kyung Soo that he couldn’t walk home anymore. They had described it as a privilege and said that it had been revoked. Kyung Soo was upset by this, but didn’t say anything. He was never quite good with his emotions, especially when he was upset.

The entire group went out for dinner, and then headed home after practice, and it was like that for a couple days. Then Exo had a busy day as a band, they had a couple interviews in Seoul and then they had a guest spot on a variety show that was all the way down in Busan. An entire day with all the guys and no time alone, Kyung Soo was going to suffer.

The first three interviews were the same. They asked the normal questions: What’s your new concept? Who embodies the concept well? Are there any funny stories from the filming of the music video? Always the same. But, the last interview of the day was different. The interviewer asked a really unique question. Any new girls in your lives? It asked as a sort of joke but it caught Kyung Soo’s attention. Bom came to his mind. Of course she wasn’t his girl, but she was a new girl in his life. One that caused him unwanted stress and extreme confusion.

Of course he didn’t tell the interviewer that. Actually, it was at that question that the managers demanded the interview end. Exo could not reveal anything about their personal relationships to the public, whether they were actually in one or not. It was bad for publicity.

After that, they were off on a four hour drive to Busan. All that happened in a blur. Kyung Soo spent a majority of the car ride sleeping. He was groggy when they started filming and then was reprimanded for being too quiet on set. After that was done, they all headed home. By the time they had all arrived at their dorm, even though they had slept on the car ride, they were all exhausted. It was only midnight but already by that time everyone was asleep. Everyone except Kyung Soo. The whole Bom situation was still bothering him, and even though he was exhausted like the others, he couldn’t sleep.

So Kyung Soo decided to do something he had never done before. He decided to sneak out of the dorms. Kyung Soo quickly dressed in his normal hoodie and skinny jeans. It was getting colder, especially at night, so he put on his jacket over that. It was a military style jacket, a gift from his father, and was dark green with the Korean flag embroidered on the sleeve. He also put on his maroon beanie and tortoise shell wayfarer shaped glasses that he recently invested in since wearing sunglasses at night really irritated him. He tip toed down the stairs and to the front foyer to grab his shoes. Then, he crept through the kitchen and out the back door.

Success! He thought to himself.

He scurried from side street to side street, darting in and out of shadows. He felt like James Bond. He was Bond Soo, Do Bond Soo. Shaken not stirred. He chuckled to himself at the thought.

Kyung Soo headed straight to the SM Building to check to alley. When he arrived he saw an empty can. Jackpot! He thought to himself. So, from there he headed straight to the subway and got on the next train to Hongdae. He almost ran to the free park with the hidden bench and was relieved when he found a figure sitting on the bench petting the stray grey cat. He crept through the grove silently but at the last moment he stepped on a twig and the figure turned.
Bom, it really was Bom. She was wearing a simple hoodie and skinny jeans. Normal Bom.

“Hi,” she said looking up at Kyung Soo.

“Hi,” Kyung Soo replied straightening his posture abruptly. “So, Where have you been?” he asked without thinking. “I mean… I haven’t seen you around… you know, feeding the cats in the alley,” he tried to fix his extremely direct question but it didn’t really work.

Bom seemed uncomfortable at the question. “I’ve been busy…” she answered fidgeting and looking like she was hiding something.

Kyung Soo decided not to bring up that he saw a look-a- like in Gangnam. He didn’t know what to say to keep the conversation going, either, so he just sat down next to her on the bench.

“Are those new glasses?” she asked.

“Oh these, yeah. They’re new.”

“They’re nice.” Bom said with her uncomfortable tone continuing.

“Thanks.” Kyung Soo wondered what was wrong, but why should he care. It’s not like he was friends with this girl.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen your eyes before now. They were always hidden behind your silly sunglasses,” Bom pointed out.

“Oh, yeah…” Kyung Soo felt himself becoming more awkward as the minutes ticked by.
She leaned over to get a better look. “They’re pretty…” she stated turning back to face straight again. “Your eyes are pretty,” She continued absentmindedly. She seemed to take on a dismal tone as she said this, as well as gradually becoming quieter and quieter.

“Is there something the matter?” Kyung Soo asked, even though he had told himself not to.

“No, it’s just…” she began, pausing as if not knowing the correct way to phrase something.
“Work is difficult.”

“Oh.” Kyung Soo couldn’t help but feel sorry. “What work do you do?”

There was a pause. “A lot of things, I suppose.”

Kyung Soo got the feeling that there was something more she wasn’t telling him, but he decided not to pry.

Suddenly she began to cry, swinging her face into his shoulder. Kyung Soo was shocked. Bom didn’t seem like an emotional kind of person. He had only seen her happy both times they had met. He slowly put his hand in her head and stroked her hair, and she continued to cry. When her sobs weaned off into small sniffles and hiccups, she looked up at Kyung Soo.
“I’m so sorry. You probably don’t want to deal with this,”

“No! It’s okay, really,” Kyung Soo reassured. “Emotions shouldn’t be bottled up, they should be let out.” He was one to talk. Kyung Soo bottled up his emotions like an expert wine maker bottled wine.

Bom wiped her tears and tried to control her breathing. Kyung Soo sat there, looking over at her. Dol jumped up like he sensed the upset in Boms actions and purred very loudly. Bom gently pet Dol and crooned sweet nothings into the stray’s ears. “Soft cat, you’re so soft. Yes, you are. You are so cute.”

“So…” Kyung Soo began. “Do you feel any better?”

“Yeah, thanks for being my shoulder to cry on.”

“No problem.”

“So, what are you doing back here?” Bom asked.

“I… Uh…” There was no way Kyung Soo could avoid this. “I was actually looking for you,” he finally said.

“Looking for me?” Bom asked surprisingly. “Why?”

“Well, uh, I hadn’t seen you feed the cats in the alley in a couple days and there were no new cans on the wall, so I got worried. Then last Friday I came here to see if there was any sign of you, and there wasn’t. Naturally, I became worried,” Kyung Soo said matter-of-factly. “Where were you all those days?”

Bom didn’t say anything.

“You don’t have to answer. I mean, why would you. You barely know me. Honestly, I don’t know why I became so worried, since I barely know you too,” Kyung Soo continues nervously.
“I had to work. There was a girl I work with, she got…” Bom tried to find the right word. “She got injured,” she finally finished. “I had to take over her shift, and then I had to visit her… to make sure she was alright.”

Visit her? What weird wording. “Like in the hospital?” Kyung Soo wondered.
Bom nodded. There was a long pause after that. Kyung Soo saw tears starting to reappear in her eyes so he stopped asking questions and they just sat there.

Bom’s phone rang again. Around the same time as when they were sitting with each other last. It made the same awful noise against the bench and she picked it up.

“Hello?” she answered in perfect English, once again. “You rescheduled your flight? Okay. Sounds great. Yeah. Uhuh. Okay. Yep, bye,” she hung up.

“I have to go.” Bom got up to leave. “Let me give you my number!” She added suddenly, gesturing for Kyung Soo to give her his phone. He gave it to her and she fiddled with it and handed it back to him. “I texted my phone so I have your number too.” She paused looking at Kyung Soo while he examined his new contact. “I have to go now… to pick someone up at the airport…”

“Right now?” Kyung Soo said looking at his phone’s clock that read 1:22am.

“Yeah,” Bom stated. It seemed once again like she was hiding something glancing down at her phone often and averting eye contact. She even almost tripped over a tree’s protruding roots as she walked away staring at her phone.

For a short time longer, Kyung Soo sat alone on the bench hidden in the grove. He thought about a lot of things, Bom mostly. He was startled when a phone started vibrating on the bench making that awful sound. It wasn’t his phone, his was on his lap. It wasn’t Bom’s, she had hers in her hands when she left. Kyung Soo remembered because she kept glancing at it nervously when they said their goodbyes.

It was ringing as the call came in. He picked it up and looked at it for a second. The caller was labeled ‘Sajangnim’ (Boss). He didn’t know what to do so he answered to stop the loud ringing.
“Hello? Soo-soo? I’m lonely… I’m at my place. Want to come over?” A man’s voice came, playfully. Kyung Soo was stunned into silence. Did this man know him, was someone watching him? Kyung Soo slowly looked around. The man’s voice came again, this time more aggressive sounding. “I know you’re there, Soo-soo! I can hear you breathing.” Kyung Soo didn’t know what to say so he just listened. “Listen Soo Bom, you know Ji-ri is injured, and we’re going to find that mother fucker who did it. So don’t feel sad. But, she usually comes over and since she’s sick, I have no one…” The man’s voice became tender again, like in the beginning. “Fine, don’t talk, but don’t expect your bonus tomorrow. And since Ji-ri isn’t able to fulfil her duties at the 588 location you have to work it again. She was your responsibility anyways, so you have to take the fall for her. I expect to see you at Gangnam at nine and then at Ji-ri’s shift, you know what time.” The man hung up.

So the phone was Bom’s. That means she has two phones. But why? And who was this man? What did he mean by the “588 location”? He couldn’t possibly mean Cheongnyangni 588, Seoul’s red light district? So many questions started to flood through Kyung Soo’s head. He became discombobulated, and didn’t know what to think. Whatever the case was though, Bom probably needed her phone back. Kyung Soo suddenly felt ill. He couldn’t walk, let alone stand up. The next thing he knew, he was collapsed on the bench; the heavenly bench that lie within the holy grove, the safe grove, the protected grove.

Safe from the outside world, Kyung Soo slept there in that grove, unable to move even if he wanted to

Notes

Sorry, I had to re-upload this. Something needed to be fixed. Props to you if you can tell the difference (:

Comments

@Klover22
no problem! i think i'll be updating much more often now~

loveegenevievee loveegenevievee
12/30/14

Yay!!! Thank you so much for finally updating. I missed this story so much XD

Klover22 Klover22
12/30/14

@anonymous lemon
thank you soo much! it really means a lot to me when people enjoy my story :)

loveegenevievee loveegenevievee
6/18/14

such a good story! you really capture D.O's personality in my opinion, and it's wonderfully written. great job!

anonymous lemon anonymous lemon
6/17/14

@Nubci
thank you! updates are coming soon! ;D

loveegenevievee loveegenevievee
6/15/14