~I Can't Love Him~

~Your POV~
Your heart rate started beating faster and faster. Feeling the grip of the person who grabbed your arm tighten a bit. You quickly turn around and just start hitting away. Every hit, every grunt came out of the person's mouth.

"Ya! Ah! Bora! Bora!!!" The person yelled again. You stop when he finally grabbed onto the broom handle.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!" You tried to pull back the broom with all your force.

"It's just me! Xiumin!!" You stopped and slowly look up to see Xiumin panting.

"Xiu...Xiumin-ah." You gave a fake smile.

"Ya, did you really have to hit that hard. I could have died." Xiumin stands up straight while yanking the broom out of your hands.

"Mianhae Xiumin-ah. I didn't know that it was you." You pouted and open the door. He just grunts in pain again. "I'll go get some medicine." You quickly ran to the kitchen grabbing out the first aid kit in one of the drawers.

"Bora, where's your appa?" Your eyes widen and you started feeling sad again. You slowly turned around and approached Xiumin who was sitting at the couch, waiting. A small tears fell down your cheek.

"He..." You sniffed and sat next to Xiumin. He looked at you worried.

"Why...why are you crying? What happened?" Xiumin grabbed both of your hands.

"Xiumin-ah." You burst out into tears. He quickly pulled you into his embrace, stroking your back.

"Tell me what happened." Xiumin said softly. You just pull away from him and wipe away your tears.

"Xiumin, did you know that Daniel had a brother?" You looked at him curious, but with tears still in your eyes.

"Ani, I never heard that he did. Wae?" Xiumin furrowed his eyebrows.

"Daniel's brother came." You hanged your head, remembering how the car stopped in front of you and gun shots were heard.

"He had a brother? Wait, what are you even talking about?" Xiumin cupped your face, making you look into his eyes.

"Daniel made his brother come after me. On Friday, when I was walking home. Appa was outside waiting for me. I was going to run up to him until a black van got in my way. Then there were gun shots. After the car left, appa...appa was on the floor bleeding." Tears started streaming down your face. "He...he left me, Xiumin."

After those last words Xiumin quickly pulled you into a hug. Comforting you tightly. He felt really bad for not being there for you. However then he remembered how you said Mark was there with you.

"Bora, Was Mark there, when it happened?" Xiumin made you look at him again. His face only inches away from yours. You slowly nod your head.

"He was there, to help me." You said while wiping away your tears again.

"Bora, mianhae. I should have been there for you. Neomu minahae." Xiumin then again hugged you tightly.

"Gwaenchana. At least Mark was there right. He actually comforted me, even though we fought a lot in the past. He said words that made me stop crying." You slightly smiling remembering how Mark held you tightly in his embrace.

For some reason, his embrace felt more warmer and more safe. However you still felt safe in Xiumin's embrace also.

After a while, Xiumin went home. You just went to your room, not even eating dinner. You slowly changed into your pajamas and went to your appa's room. Slowly opening the door, you felt the cool wind touch your face.

The room felt so empty and lonely. You slowly approach the bed again. You laid yourself out onto the bed while hiding under the blankets.

"I guess, I better start thinking how I'm going to say goodbye to you." A small tear left your eyes. You closed your eyes after taking another glance around the room. "Annyeong appa."

***Next Day***

You woke up from someone knocking on the door. You slowly got up and stretch. You walked downstairs and open the door slowly. Making the sun light hitting your face immediately.

You squint open your eyes to see who it was, but you couldn't see because of the stupid sun.

"Bora, gwaenchana? I heard about your father. Mianhae." You heard your appa's beast friend's voice. You slowly open the door bigger. Right when it was fully opened, he quickly hugged you patting your head lightly.

"Um...mianhae, but what are you doing?" You got out of his embrace.

"Bora, i's going to be alright. I'm going to help and protect you now. Your appa wanted me to take you in, if something happened to him." Your eyes widen.

"Take...take me in?" You looked at him confused and a little frighten.

"Bora, your appa wanted me to watch over you. Because life is going to be hard. Even though it already is, but you know what. If you some live with me and my family. Everything will be better. And come on, what can happen. I promised your appa that I'll take care of you when you graduate and finally start a new life. But if you don't trust me, because you barley don't know me. Then you can stay here, by yourself. However then I''m still going to be looking over you." He smiled and patted my head lightly.

Right after seeing his smile, you felt like your appa was here again. Right in front of you, smiling at you.

"So, what's your choice. To move in with us or just to live by yourself. However I really want you to move in, because I don't want to make your appa to worry too much. I know that he would be very happy that you moved in. That your safe with someone that he knows and trust." You hanged your head, hesitating what you should do.

Living in a house by yourself is lonely, and that it does suck to live by yourself. So then you slowly looked up at him. You nod your head lightly, making a smile appear on his face.

"Well, we should we start packing?" He eye smiled. You just nod your head.

"But, would it be ok for your family. For me to move in." You looked at him feeling like a burden.

"Ani, actually your omma was my wife's best friend also. We all were close. She always wanted a daughter. So since for you to move in, she'll be super glad that you decided to move in." He looked around for bit. "Probably you should gather up your things, throw out things that you don't need anymore and keep whatever you do need."

You nod your head and went to change. You walked around the house for a bit, remembering every bit of memory that you had in the house.

"Bora, I'm going to go buy some boxes. Stay here and start packing." He yelled out. You just nod your head and keep walking around the house.

You went to the laundry room and saw another door. You raised an eyebrow wondering if there was always a another door in the laundry room. Usually you would just come and throw your clothes in the washer then go straight back upstairs.

You approached the door and opened it. Dust came flying towards you, making you cough.

'Holy fuck, how can there be so much dust for just opening a door.'

You open your eyes to see women clothes, jewelry, women shoes, and a box. You just look though it and saw a picture frame on top of the clothes.

You grabbed and you saw a women standing beside your appa. Smiling happily. You just shrug you shoulders and put back the picture frame. Then you grabbed the box that was on the last shelf.

You sat on the couch and opened the box to make more dust flying around. Like always, you coughed a bit and peeked inside. To find: photo albums, more picture frames, and a big scrapbook.

You took out the picture frames first. Finding the same thing all over again. Your appa and a lady standing next to him. All the pictures were kind a the same. It was all of your appa and the lady.

Next you took out the photo albums. You opened it slowly to see pictures of the lady. When some were a baby (probably her) and others were with your appa. Then there was a small photo album of you and Mimi.

Your heart dropped when you saw Mimi's face again. Smiling happily with you. Then there was a picture that caught your eyes.

Your eyes widen and a tear dropped. It was a picture of the same lady holding onto you and Bomi in her arms, smiling.

"O...omma?" More tears came streaming down your face. You finally found some pictures of your omma.

You quickly grab the scrapbook and look to see pictures of your appa and omma together traveling places. Then there were pictures of your omma showing that she was pregnant.

You kept looking through it until there were no more. It was all blank, probably your appa made the scrapbook. But because of the accident, he stopped. Of course he wouldn't know what to do anymore.

So then you decided to continue the scrapbook. You grabbed a picture in your bag and placed it in the middle.

~Yoon Bora, Yoon Bae's and Yoon Hana's eldest daughter~
I grew up healthy and strong with the help of appa. Gomawo, appa for always being there for me. I'm really happy that you were my appa. I'll try my best to succeed in life and make you guys proud. I'll make sure to not make many mistakes. Appa, omma saranghae!~


You closed the scrapbook and placed it back into the box and quickly went back to the laundry room and looked through your omma's stuff. To see what you should keep. Until you saw a necklace that caught your eyes.

You slowly grabbed it and stared at it amazed. It's been so long, yet it still looks so new.

You opened it to find a picture of your omma on the left side and a picture of your appa on the right side.

You just put on the necklace, making sure that this was surely not being left behind. Then you were going to go back until you found a small box all the way in the back.

You reached over and grabbed the box. You slowly opened the box to find small notes inside. You grabbed one note and read it.

~Yoon Hana~
Life is just getting better right now. Everything is...well I really can't explain with words. I'm now 12 months pregnant. I'm so happy that I'm having a girl. Because I was so excited I already found a name for my precious baby. I thought about naming her Bora, Yoon Bora. Because my favorite color is purple. Purple means Bora. And Purple also means loyalty. This baby girl that I am going to have, is loyal to me. I will always love and cherish Bora. I'm just so happy. I hope for her the best in the future. For nothing bad to come in her way and for her happiness to always stay.

You smiled just reading your mother's little note. More like a piece of paper from a diary. You kept looking through it until you found two rings together at the bottom.

You grabbed it scanning how beautiful it looked. It was simple, however probably had a lot of meaning.

"Bora! Where are you!?" You heard your appa's friend yelling. Because he never told you how to call him (because Luhan had to cut in when he was about to tell you) you just address him as your appa's friend.

You ran upstairs holding onto the small box.

"Oh, I'm right here!" You yelled back and ran upstairs. "Mianhae, I just wanted to take one last peek around the house." You smiled sadly.

"Gwaenchana, why are you apologizing?" He chuckled.

"Um, you never told me how to address you." You sat on the couch and start making the boxes.

"Ah, you can call me Mr. Tuan." He smiled.

"Ah, so Mr. Tuan. How long have you known my appa?" You said while grabbing some boxes.

"Well, ever since college. He was my roommate. Usually I thought that having a roommate like him would suck. However it was really fun to have him as a friend." He chuckled.

"Well, I'll be upstairs packing." You bowed and was about to go upstairs until he stopped you.

"When your fully done packing. Call me." He handed you a sticky note. You just nod your head and walk upstairs.

You dropped all the boxes in your room and started right away. You packed everything in your room and you had like 3 big bags of things that you were going to throw away.

You went to grab more boxes and went to your appa's room. You looked around for a bit and hesitated.

"What should I pack?" You walked around the room looking at everything. Finally you just decided to throw out things and keep the important things that would remind you of your appa. You quickly put down the boxes at the kitchen entrance.

***11pm****

You looked around to find that everything was now packed. You had about 4-5 boxes and 6-7 bags of trash. You let out a sigh and plopped down on the couch. Right when you did, someone rang the door bell.

You stood up after growling at how tired you are and someone just has to ring that damn bell. You walked over and opened the door to see Xiumin on his phone.

"What are you doing here?" Xiumin jumped a bit because he didn't know that you already opened the door. He was too focused on something on his phone.

"Oh, just wanted to see you again." He smiled brightly.

"What do you mean?" You furrowed your eyebrows.

"I'm leaving tomorrow to China. For the showcase there." He pouted. You just chuckle.

"Babo, you should be happy. Hwaiting!" You smiled making him smile in relief that your better now. He then looked behind you to find boxes stacked.

"Are you leaving also?" He looked back at you.

"Appa's best friend said for me to move in with them. So then it would be so hard for me. And I guess I trust him because he's appa's friend." You said while staring at the floor.

"Well, they better take good care of you then." Xiumin chuckled. You also chuckle.

"I think they would. Mr. Tuan told me that his wife would be so happy to see me. Because she always wanted a daughter." You bit your lower lip thinking how your life is going to change after moving to their house.

Right when you were in your thoughts, Xiumin pulled you into a hug. Your eyes widen because you were startled a bit for him to just hug you out of a sudden.

"Is something wrong?" You said while just standing there.

"Nothing, just that I'm going to miss my best friend." Xiumin faked a laughed and hugged you tighter. You just chuckle and hug him back.

"Gwaenchana. We can still call or text each other right? Unless your dongsaengs won't even let." You pulled yourself out of Xiumin's embrace.

"Mm, araseyo. Just stay safe for now on. I gotta go. We're practicing before we leave. Annyeong." Xiumin quickly pecked your forehead and ran away. You just froze at the spot. Feeling Xiumin's lips again on your forehead.

You let out a smile and walk back inside. You laid on the couch again while playing on your phone.

"I probably don't have to worry about having three jobs now, right?" You said to yourself. You just kept playing around with your phone until you were so focused. That your phone accidentally fell onto your face. Which made you like totally kiss you phone.

"Holy shit, that hurt." You sat up rubbing your face.

***Next Day***

You were sleeping on the couch, even though you still had your bed. But you were just too tired.

You heard someone at the door again. So then you slowly got off the couch and dragged yourself to the door.

You creaked open the door and saw Mr. Tuan smiling at you.

"Oh, annyeonghaseyo." You bowed after opening the door bigger.

"See that you are all ready. But what's with those bags?" He looked at you confused.

"Oh, those are just trash." You said with a yawn.

"Araseyo. I rented a moving truck. So let's start packing it up." He clapped his hands together once.

"Mm." You went to the bathroom to refresh yourself. You quickly came out and started carrying your boxes outside onto the truck. "But Mr. Tuan, where would I put my boxes?" You said after getting off the truck.

"Well, because you have a pretty big room. You can just put it in there." He smiled and put the last box into the truck. "What about your clothes?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

You quickly ran inside and went upstairs. You got about 2-3 suitcases. You quickly carried two down then went back up and grabbed the last one.

"Got it." You yelled out. He just nods his head. Finally he closed the truck and looked at you.

"Ready to leave this place you once called home?" He looked at you worried. You glanced at it once more and nod your head.

"I guess this is it. Annyeong appa, omma, Mimi." A tear escaped. You quickly wipe it away so Mr. Tuan would see it.

"Let's go!" He shouted out happily. You both kept driving, until you fell asleep.

Few hours later, you felt Mr. Tuan shaking you lightly.

"Wake up, we're here." He sang out happily.

"Huh? Oh." You rubbed your eyes and looked at your phone. Your eyes widen to see 153 text messages from exo and 142 miss calls from exo.

"Come on." He said while peeking out through your window. You just nod your head and get out of the car. "Wait, let me go get my son. He'll help." Mr. Tuan ran inside. You just chuckle and grab your suitcases first.

"Mr. Tuan, are you sure it's really sure that it's not a burden for me to come and live with you and your family?" You turned around and your eyes widen.

"Oh, you!" He pointed at you.

"Oh, you guys know each other already? Bora, this is my son. Mark." Your jaw dropped.

'I'm hallucinating right? Mark doesn't live here, does he? Wait Tuan? Ugh, I should have remembered that Mark's damn last name was Tuan!'

You screamed in your head. You gulped down your remaining saliva and get down from the truck with your two suitcases.

"Bora, you can just go inside. We'll do the rest." Mr. Tuan smiled happily at you. You just nod your head and speed walk away from Mark.

"This can't be happening." You mumbled to yourself. Right when you stepped into the house, a lady ran and hugged you tightly.

"OMG! You look just like Hana! Very beautiful and bubbly!!!" She looked at you. You just look at her confused.

"Mianhae but...who are you?" You raised an eyebrow.

"I'm Mrs. Tuan. Awe, you grown so much. Last time I saw you was when you were just a baby." She chuckled. You just awkwardly smile.

"You saw me when I was a baby also?" You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Mm, because that time I was in hospital for giving birth to Mark." She smile happily. You just slightly smile. "Come here, you should eat. Your probably hungry." She patted you head gently.

"Mm, gamsahamnida." You bowed your head a bit.

"Oh, don't be so formal with me." She chuckled and sat next to you. You just smile and take a bite of the food she made.

"Mm, Mrs. Tuan. It's so good." You said with thumbs up. She just laughs and smiles wider. You just chuckle and keep on eating until you phone started playing 'Growl' by Exo.

You quickly grab you phone out of your pocket and look at the caller ID. Turned out to be Kai calling you.

You looked at Mrs. Tuan who was just looking at you confused. You just smile and turn away from her. You quickly answer the phone.

"Yeoboseyo?" You said in a soft voice.

"Ya! Noona! Why didn't you freaking answer our calls!?" Kai yelled out from the other line.

"Because I don't want to." You growled at him for yelling in your ear.

"But noona, we kept calling for you to say goodbye to us at the airport but you never answered. Now we're already in China and you finally answer. Are you ignoring our calls because we left you?" Kai said with a tease.

"Ha, never. And mianhae for not answering. I was sleeping, so I didn't hear my phone ring. And plus I'm kind a of a deep sleeper so of course I wouldn't answer your phone calls." You said after taking a bite of the food.

"Noona! Why are you ignoring us!?" Sehun's voice came out from the other line.

"Mwuh! I said that I was sorry. And plus I was sleeping. Sehun you better calm down, I wasn't trying to ignore you guys. And if I was, then I would haven't answer the phone right now." You smirked because you knew that you won the argument with Sehun.

"But...but noona!~" Sehun whined. You can hear him saying it in a aegyo voice.

"But...but Sehun~" You imitated him also with an aegyo voice.

"Whatever, when we come back you better buy me bubble tea for not coming to say bye to us before we left." You can tell that Sehun was pouting even though you couldn't see his face.

"Araseyo, one strawberry bubble tea." You put your phone a little bit away from your ear. You heard Sehun squeal like a little girl.

"Jeongmallo!? Gomawo noona!!! Saranghae!!!!" Sehun yelled out happily. You just chuckle.

"I gotta go. Tell everyone I said hi and for them to work hard counting you too Sehun." You hang up the phone after hearing the guys yelling out.

"Who was that? Your boyfriend?" Mrs. Tuan asked a little depressed.

"Ani, just close friends that I known." You chuckled just thinking about them. Then you saw a smile appear on Mrs. Tuan's face.

"Well, I think you better go to sleep." She chuckled a bit.

"Oh, araseyo." You said while standing up.

"Oh, Bora there's one thing I forgot to tell you." You looked at her before grabbing your suitcase. "Because the guest room is still under construction, well I mean that we are still decorating it. You'll be sharing a room with Mark. Mianhae, but that was the only room left. The guest room just needs a few weeks then you can sleep separate from Mark." She shyly smiled.

You just stopped processing after she said that you need to share a room with Mark. Like literally, your mind went blank.

However you could see Mrs. Tuan waving her hand in front of your face. When she clapped her hands loudly, you came right back to reality.

"Gwaenchana, you totally went out of space when I was telling you that you needed to share a room with Mark." Mrs. Tuan looked at you worried.

"Ani, gwaenchana." You gulped down your saliva.

'Can somebody just kill me!?'

Mrs. Tuan showed you Mark's room. You slowly walked in and your eyes widen quickly. The room was hella big. It's like a house in a house. You walked around amazed still at how big the room was.

"Well, I have no idea where Mark is, but just enjoy yourself. And think of this place like your home." Mrs. Tuan smiled and patted your shoulder then left. You walked around a bit, enjoying how big it looked and how neat it was. It was not even near the size of your room. It was more like your whole house.

You kept walking around until you bummed into something and stumbled backwards a bit. You looked to see Mark looking down at you.

"Whoa, never thought that Bora would want to live with me." He glared at you.

"That's funny, because actually your parents wanted me to come and live here not with you but just in the same house as you." You rolled your eyes.

"Whatever. Your going to be sleeping on the couch." Mark walked away all cool.

"Mwoyaa!?" You yelled out in anger. He then turns on his heels and looks at you.

"Mwuh?" He smirked.

"Sleeping on the couch? You freaking kidding me!?" You glared at him. He just chuckle.

"Well, you know what? This is my house, my room. So I get to pick, because it's my bed. And I don't want you sleeping on it." He raised an eyebrow.You just scoff.

"So, that doesn't mean you have to be an ass Mark. You can sleep on the couch since I'm the guest." You crossed your arms together. Then he started walking closer to you. You were taking small steps behind you.

He smirked and kept walking closer to you, yet he was taking big steps.

"What...what are you doing?" You furrowed your eyebrows. He just keeps on walking. Then you couldn't move back anymore because you were already at the wall.

'Dang it, why does there always have to be a fucking wall!?'

"Then..." Mark smirked again leaning down at the same eye level as you. Your heart started beating faster and faster.

"Mwuh?" You leaned your head on the wall. His face came closer to yours. Then your heart beated even faster like it was about to explode.

"Why don't we both just sleep together on my bed?" Your eyes widen after hearing what he said.

"Ya, mechaso!" You push Mark away from you. He then burst out laughing. You were boiling just looking at him.

"Babo." Mark chuckled and went out the room. You quickly let out a sigh and lean onto the wall again.

"Mechaso, mechaso." You said while calming down your breathes. You just shake off whatever he said and grabbed one of your suitcases. You grabbed out your towel, pajamas, and toothbrush. You walked to the bathroom and your eyes widen.

The bathroom was even bigger then your room. You closed the door and locked it. After a while of having a perfect bath. You walked out feeling better. You quickly laid out your towel on your suitcase and sat on the couch.

Your wet hair dripping onto your shirt. You closed your eyes for a bit. After a while you felt someone's breathe on your face. You opened your eyes and jumped up to make your forehead hit Mark's.

"Holy shit Bora. What the hell is wrong with you?" Mark says while holding his forehead.

"It's not my fault, why was your face so close to mine!?" You yelled back.

"Because I was going to wake you up, because I didn't want my couch to be wet!" Mark stomped to his bed. You just scoff. You quickly grab your towel again and wrap your hair.

"Babo Mark." You started thinking about how his face was so close. Then you started imagining him moving a bit over you and his lips touching yours.

You quickly jump a bit thinking about the kiss with Mark. You cover your lips with one of your hands.

'Andwae, I can't be thinking like that. Am I going crazy!? Ani, ani, ani. It's was just a dream.'

You jumped again after hearing Mark clear his throat.

"Ya, mechaso. Why are you covering your mouth? Why thinking about that kiss?" Mark smirked. Your eyes widen. You turn away from him and lay down while shutting your eyes.

'Ya, mechaso. How did you even know that I was thinking that? Andwae. Never I will think about that.'

"Well, here." You felt a pillow and blanket thrown on top of you. You quickly took it off and looked to see Mark looking at you.

"Mwuh?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing, I was just throwing those at your face." He smirked and went to his bed. You just scoff quietly.

After a while everything was silent. You looked up where Mark was sleeping. He looked like a peaceful angel sleeping. However then he was still a jerk.

You slowly went to sleep, even though the couch looked comfortable. It wasn't that comfortable to sleep on.

Notes