Stars

I told N and Ravi that I’d look for Leo on my own. N and Ravi were together, Hyuk and Hongbin were together and Ken and Jeesun were together. I thought that if I were to encounter Leo, I’d rather be alone with him. I prayed to god that he didn’t see the scene between Sehun and I. I don’t know why I was so scared. My knees shook as I walked around looking for Leo, my fingers fumbled as I typed his number into my phone and my lip trembled as I tried to speak. He didn’t answer, it went straight to voicemail. Why did I let Sehun kiss me? Why didn’t I push him away? Why?

It got dark pretty quickly and the streetlights were the only thing to guide me. My feet took me to the nearest park. I sighed in relief because I saw Leo sitting on the grass, in the light of the streetlight. My legs stiffened. What was I going to say to him? I had messed everything up. I thought I liked Leo, why did I have to go and kiss Sehun? Wait. No. I didn’t kiss Sehun, he kissed me… Was I just using that as an excuse? Stop. Just, go and talk to him. I demanded myself to talk to him. As I walked closer, I saw that he was playing with a cute puppy. I stopped in front of him and he looked up. We stared at each other for a moment before he continued to play with the puppy. Was he angry with me? “May I sit?” I asked politely. I didn’t wait for a response, I sat next to him. The husky puppy ran around Leo excitedly. He patted it gently and smiled slightly.
“Is this your puppy?” I asked.
Leo shook his head. “I found him wandering around, lost. He has a collar with contact details on it so I’ll return him to his owners soon.” He spoke quietly, like he didn’t want to say anything to me.
“The oppas are looking for you.” I said while stretching my legs out.
“Are they?”
“They said you weren’t answering their texts or calls and they got worried.”
He scoffed lightly.
“Why did you wonder off?”
“You say it as if I am a child.” His voice was icy.
“No. No. That’s not what I intended. I just wanted to ask why you didn’t let them know you were OK.”
He shrugged and continued to pat the dog, averting my gaze.
“They said you went to visit me.” I said nervously. It’ll be an uncomfortable topic, but I needed to know if there were any misunderstandings.
“Yeah.” He sighed bluntly.
“So you did?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you walk all the way to my house?”
“Yeah.”
I was getting really annoyed with the one-worded answers.
“Listen, Leo. I understand you’re not feeling great, but if you have anything to say, please just say it.” I blurted.
He pulled his hand away from the husky and faced me.
“You want me to talk? Fine.” He said coldly. “What is your relationship with Oh Sehun?”
“Wha-?”
“I thought he was your ex-boyfriend-“
“He is my ex-boyfriend.”
“Do you kiss all of your ex-boyfriends?” he said angrily.
“I’m sorry?” I was so shocked. “So you saw?”
“I wasn’t supposed to?”
“First of all, he is my only ex-boyfriend. Second, why are you so angry about what I do with my relationship? And third, I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me.” I sounded like a little kid, fuming that I didn’t get a lollipop.
“You didn’t kiss him? He kissed you? That is the most pathetic excuse I have ever heard.” Leo hissed. “At least push him away, Melinda. At least consider the feelings of other people.” He stood up. “I’m done talking. I’m taking this puppy home.”
My heart jumped uncontrollably. Why was I so afraid? I was afraid to let him walk away, afraid to let him slip out of my grasp. I didn’t want him to walk away without somehow trying to fix things. My muscles had a mind of their own. My hand shot up and snatched his sleeve. “No. Don’t go.” I blurted. He lightly turned his head around without saying a word. His silence scared me, but I stayed determined.
“Why?” he questioned.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t know why I wanted him to stay. Could I tell him that I was afraid?
“Don’t go.” I repeated.
He turned around and crouched in front of me. “Are you afraid?”
Damn. He always saw right through me.
“Afraid of what?” I asked.
“Afraid of being alone?”
I shook my head. “I’m afraid that you’ll leave me.”
My tears always came at the wrong time; my eyes began to water. Tears make me seem so weak and fragile. I didn’t want to be.
Leo suddenly leaned close to me, I jolt back and I instantly closed my eyes. I felt his hot breath brush against my lips. “Will you pull away, or will you push me away?” he whispered. I didn’t answer him. I just kept my eyes closed. I felt him pull away so I opened my eyes. He held out his hand to me. “Let’s go home.” He said with a soft smile. I felt all my muscles relax and I felt so light. I smiled at him and took his hand.
“I’m sorry.” I said while we walked.
“I’m not going t say ‘it’s OK’ because I really don’t think it’s OK-“
“I don’t expect it to be.” I said sadly.
“But I forgive you.” He said, look down at me.
I looked at him, surprised. How could I have been forgiven so easily?
I gently squeezed his hand. “Thank you.” I said.

Notes

Sorry if this isn't what you expected!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!