Stay With Us

I went to get dinner with the girls telling them everything that was going on. They all looked at me shocked when I told them who Matthew was.

“So how are you taking everything?” Ji asked concerned.

“I don’t know. Jimin and I have already fought about it. He thinks I shouldn’t be upset with my mom because of him. I just don’t think he gets it right now.” I say sighing.

“Well don’t get too mad at him.” Hyosonn says. “He wasn’t trying to make you mad.”

“I know.” I say folding my arms in front of my chest. “I just wish someone would have said something sooner than this. I always thought Matthew didn’t want me. Now it turns out he did and didn’t have the choice.”

“Your mom didn’t mean it like that though.” Bora said rubbing my shoulder. “She thought she was doing the right thing for all three of you.”

“She still could have done it better then leaving a note and running off to South Korea.” I say to her.

“Well if she wouldn’t have done that, none of this would be happening right now.” Ji says. “And I’m not talking about all of this frustration. I mean, she would have never met V’s uncle, you wouldn’t have moved here, met Jimin or any of us. People make decisions in life and sometimes they don’t seem like the best ones but they can turn out to have good effects.”

I think over her words knowing she is right about that. “I wouldn’t want parts of my life to be any different. And Tae and his uncle are still my family. I love my Appa and he has done everything for me. I just wish I would have known the truth.” I tell them.

After dinner I went home ready to apologize to Jimin again. He isn’t the reason all of this was happening and I shouldn’t be taking it out on him.

I walk into the bedroom seeing him on the bed. He looked up seeing me come in then went back to his phone. I walk over sitting on his side of the bed next to him.

“You ready to talk about this?” He asks still not looking away from his phone.

“I think so.” I say sighing.

He puts his phone down looking at me. “You know I didn’t mean it how it sounded.”

“I know. But you also need to see why I am upset about this.”

“I do. I don’t know how I would react if it was me in this situation. I get why you want to let out steam about it but don’t actually get mad at me when I tell you what I think. If you want to just yell about it then tell me you want to yell.”

“I know that. I just have a lot of emotions right now about it. I don’t know what to do.”

“You need to talk to your mom. I know you don’t like that answer but it’s true. She is hurting right now too. She has called me about ten times today to check on you.”

“Do you see why I am upset about it though?” I ask him straight.

“You’re upset you didn’t get the opportunity to know your real dad. Everyone would be upset about that.”

“That’s not just it though Jimin.”

“Well then tell me what it is.” He says sounding almost annoyed. I pick up on his tone and stand up to leave the room. “Or walk away again cause that helps.” I hear him mumble.

I stop turning around. “Seriously?” I almost yell.

“Well that is what you have been doing.” He sends back in the same tone as me. “Walking away from anyone who wants to help you through this.”

“Jimin you aren’t listening to me at all!” I yell at him.

“What are you talking about?” He yells back getting off the bed. “I have been trying to get you to talk to me all day Maranda and you just keep getting mad about what I say. It’s either you disagree with me or you twist my words. So please just fucking tell me what you want me to do so I can do it!”

“I don’t want you to do anything!” I yell back at him. “And I’m not twisting your words! I know you are right!”

“What is that even supposed to mean?”

“You asked me why I was taking his side for something that happened twenty years ago! I am the something that happened! I am the reason my parents aren’t together!” I scream at him. I then feel tears start to run down my face. “I am the fucking reason she left him.” I say slightly louder than a whisper through the lump in my throat. Jimin walked over grabbing me.

I pushed him away. “Jimin, I don’t want to be held right now.” I say more tears flowing down my face. “I just want to be alone.” I then walk out of the bedroom going to my room.

I threw myself onto the bed crying into the pillow. I then hear a knock on the door. “Maranda.” I hear Jimin say. “Come on. Let me in.”

“Go away!” I yell to him.

“Jagiya, please.” He begs.

“Jimin I want to be left alone.” I say sobbing harder.

“Baby, come on. You shouldn’t be alone right now.” He says starting to get upset. “What kind of Oppa would I be if I left you here like this?”

My emotions started getting the better of me again. “Then don’t be my Oppa!” I yelled at him through the lump in my throat.

Jimin’s POV

I couldn’t believe she just said that. I don’t know what came over me. I hit the door hard with the side of my fist. “Maranda! You are being ridiculous! Now open the God damn door!”

“No! Go away!” She screamed at me through her tears.

I turn around pissed off going to our room slamming the door shut behind me. I turned on some music blaring it to drown out my thoughts. I flung myself onto the bed trying to calm down. All of the boys then walk into the room.

“What do you guys want?” I asked them irritated.

Suga goes over turning the music down. “We wanted to know if you both are alright.”

“She blames herself for them breaking up. And I’m getting tired of her pushing me away. Not much too really say.”

“But are you guys alright?”

I look at him somewhat confused at what he means.

Jin then sits next to me. “Are you guys alright with each other?” He asks concerned.

I then feel my own tears start to fall from my eyes. “I don’t know.” I choke out. “I want us to be. I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I have tried acting normal. I tried talking to her about all of this and supporting her. But she doesn’t want any of that.” I then start fully crying. “She doesn’t want me.”

Maranda’s POV

I woke up the next morning still hugging the pillow from the night before. I go over to the mirror wiping off my face then go to the bathroom. I wash my face then go to change. I then remember my clothes are in Jimin’s room. I go check the laundry room to see if I had any forgotten items in there. To my luck there was. I get changed then leave the house going to the hotel my parents were staying at.

Tae had text me where they were staying the night I stormed out and left my phone behind. I walk up to the room hesitating before knocking on the door. Appa being the one to answer it.
He could tell I had been crying and grabbed me into a hug. I started crying again thinking through everything I had said to Jimin about my parents, Matthew, and then how I had turned on him.

Appa pulls me into the room closing the door. Mom must have seen us because I felt her arms wrap around behind me. I break away from them still with tears going down my face.

“I’m sorry.” I choke out.

“It’s ok sweetie.” Mom tells me hugging me again. “I should have told you the truth.”

“I’m sorry I was the reason you left him.”

She then pulls away looking at me seriously. “Maranda. You are not the reason. I knew I was pregnant with you when I left that night. It was not because of you but because we both wanted different things out of life. From the beginning of our relationship he told me he wasn’t the settle down type. It didn’t matter to me until I got pregnant. I wanted to be able to tell him and live happily ever after. But I knew it wouldn’t end that way. Matthew and I were not going to work together no matter how much we loved each other. That is why I left.” She then gets a smile on her face. “And I wouldn’t change that. I found the person I was supposed to be with. And Matthew continued his gypsy life. We both have wounds from it but we are both happy with the outcome.”

I didn’t know what to say and just nodded my head. “Mom. I messed up.” I tell her feeling more tears.

“What do you mean?” She asked worried.

I then explain everything that happened with Jimin the last couple days. All the fighting, me sleeping in my old room, how much I yelled at him.

“Sweetie, he will forgive you.” She says reassuringly. “He loves you too much not to.”

“Yeah. Every time Tae calls he tells us how happy the two of you are.” Appa says. “Just talk to him.”

I nod my head knowing they are right. “There is one other person I need to talk to first though.”

I said my goodbyes to them before leaving to go to Matthew’s hotel room. I knocked on the door waiting for him to let me in. He opened it with a surprised look on his face.

“Hey Maranda.” He said stepping out of the way for me to walk in.

“Hey. I wanted to talk to you about something.” I say going to sit in one of the chairs by a table.

“What is it?” He asked sitting in the other chair.

“I wanted to know if I could start our relationship now. Even if you don’t have a lot of time left. I want to know you. There have been a lot of things in my life I know I did not get from my mom and I wanted to know if they came from you.” I say to him.

He gets a small smile on his face.

“Like that.” I say pointing. “I have the same smile as you.”

“I would really like that.”

We continued talking for a while. He told me he would be going back to America in about a month because he needed to finish a few other loose ends. Which he reassured was not any other children. I left to go home about midnight.

Next on my list of things to fix was Jimin.

Notes