I'm dating an idol!

Current mood: wanting to bawl my eye out at 4 am at night. This is a turn of events I didn’t expect. I felt like saying ‘How could he do this to me’ but I know it’s not his fault. I also wanted to say ‘This is what I tried to avoid when I dumped you’. Wow, I could not not direct my anger at him. I know what he meant by saying that he’s relieved I’m not involved, but still. Still that hurt me the most. That our relationship feels so non-existent. No, that’s not true. It’s very real. His hands over my body were real. His fingers rubbing me were real. His kisses in my neck were real. I felt myself warming up from the inside. I don’t want to lose him. We’ll get through this.

The rest of the night I could barely sleep. When I went to work I looked like utter shit. I blamed it on the moon and made some lame jokes. I tried to focus on work, but even the moments I wasn’t thinking about it I felt something empty. I needed to talk to him. I need to tell him I love him. I need to know if he will stay with me. During lunch break I texted him. He replied with ‘I thought it would be okay, but the messages and rumours we hear are crazy’. I asked him about some details even though I would hate it. ‘They say it’s an idol from group X of actress X. I don’t even understand how they got this idea I’m dating.’ I replied him to not worry and it will be over.
When I arrived at home I saw my best friend waiting outside my apartment.
“How long have you been waiting?”
“As long that’s necessary. How are you?” she asked while we went through my front door.
“Honestly? I’m so mad at him even though it’s not his fault.” I swallowed and felt my eyes getting watery. “But I also really want to see him.” I couldn’t control my tears anymore. “I miss him.” She hugged me. At that moment there was not much we could say or do. What could we do about it? I felt my phone vibrating in my jacket. I pulled it out and saw Namjoon’s name on the screen. He wanted to video call. I quickly wiped my tears away and picked up.
“Hey!” I said with a weak try to look happy.
“Stop pretending! I know you hate all of this.” He looked at me with serious eyes. He sighed. “I hate myself for putting you through all this.” He looked away.
“No, don’t feel that way.” I said. I saw my best friend signalling me and pointing at the door. I made a little finger heart towards her behind my phone.
“Still, why would they think that I’m dating. I mean I am dating, but just not with who they think it is. I’m pretty sure they must have seen something that would make them think.”
“You mean that we were not careful enough with something?”
“Yeah.” It warmed my heart at the way he was thinking.
“Let’s read some theories.” I said. This is becoming so fucking ridiculous. We’re going to read gossip about him to learn more about ourselves? I opened my laptop and went on Twitter. I saw his name trending. Under the trend I saw several pictures, but always older ones. Until… a certain set of pictures. That shirt, I remember.
“Namjoon, there are pictures of you on the morning you left my apartment.” I read the comments. ‘Waah, is that a hickey in his neck?’ and ‘Omg oppa don’t date other girls >.<’. A hickey? Did I do that?
“They are talking about a hickey in your neck.” I stared at him. He chuckled and put his hand over his mouth.
“I didn’t tell you yet what you did to me when you were drunk.” Another set of war flashbacks went through my mind. I cried and begged him not to leave.
“I had a massive breakdown. That’s all I could remember.” I said embarrassed. Did I do something worse.
“And?” He asked playfully. I could see his eyes sparkle. I made myself look like an idiot. I moaned and covered my eyes.
“Do I want to know this?”
“Oh yeah baby, you made me fall in love with you again that night.” I put my hand down and just looked at him. He bit his lip and had that half smile.
“After that breakdown I pulled you on the couch to calm down. I told you to relax and then you said that you want to finish what we started on that one date.” I looked in disbelief. I should never drink again.
“I become a total hoe when I’m drunk.’
“Yeah, but you’re my hoe.” He winked at me and gave me that naughty smile. “But where was I in my story? Oh, yeah you climbed on top of me and started kissing me. You took off your shirt and basically threw your breasts in my face.” He started blushing. “It’s not like I wanted to take advantage of you but you made me rock hard down there.” I remembered the feeling of sitting on top of him and feeling his erection. Not from that night but from that date. That worm feeling started to boil up in me.
“Look if you’re worried. I wouldn’t do anything like except kissing with you unless you’re fully aware of it. It was just nice feeling you again.” His eyes looked so soft when he said that. “It was right then when you gave me a hickey. Baby, the way you sucked my skin. I can’t wait until you suck me off like that.” I bit my lip. Yes, I can’t wait either. When I felt his erection I knew he was big. The thought of sucking him and hearing him moan excited me. I needed to hear that deep voice of him moan. I wanted to tease him and beg him for more like I begged him.
“Namjoon,” I said. “I need to see you as soon as possible because my body can’t handle the wait.” I heard someone storm inside his room. I heard a cheerful scream.
“Kyaaaaaa! Is that her????”. J-Hope’s face suddenly appeared in front of Namjoon’s. The erotic ambiance that there was before disappeared immediately. I heard Namjoon scolding him and giving him a lecture about privacy and respect.
“Oh, she’s kinda cute. Does he treat you right?” He asked me. Namjoon looked like he could slap a bitch.
“It could always be better,” I replied to tease Namjoon. He looked at me annoyed. J-Hope laughed.
“I will leave you two to it.” He ran outside not before giving me a thumbs up.
“Ugh, this friend.” Namjoon said while looking towards the door. He turned his head and said: “Next time you’ll get what you asked for.” His eyes looked fierce at me. My heart fluttered and I bit my finger.
“Are you going to punish me?” I said while winking at him.
“Next time I see you I will show you how deep my punishment will go.”
“Oooh, please do.” I bit my lip before I disconnected the call.

I was finally completely relieved. It was about us. How stupid it might sound. The idea that they would’ve found evidence of dating with another celebrity I would totally hate it. I trust him, but that irrational fear is always there. The world of fame and celebrities is unpredictable. I laid flat in my couch but this time there were no doubts on my mind. Only a certain feeling that being drunk not always leads to regrets.

Notes

After last chapter I was a bit stuck. I didn't know how I could go from there, but I solved it. I hope you like it. Next chapter will definitly have some more action!