Forbidden Feels

There I was. Sitting in Min Yoongis car. It must've been newly bought because of it's clean look. I was trying to stay silent and make no noise. The whole situation was awkward enough. Music filled the car. Loud music which completely wasn't my style. I looked into the side mirror to take a glance at Yoongi. His blonde hair was laying straight on his head and made him, together with our schools uniform, look elegant. I noticed his hands which were looking soft and if you looked closely you were able to notice his veins. Also the veins on his neck were nearly visible. All in all Yoongi looked amazing and as I thought about this I felt how my heart started beating faster and I was afraid Yoongi could possible hear it.
I noticed him taking a glance at me before he said, „Is everything okay? Are you sure you don't feel dizy anymore?“ He asked with his soft, deep voice. Was he really concerned about me? „Yeah.“ I said and as I felt his glance again, my cheeks turned slightly red. „Are you sure? Should we take a break so you can get some fresh air?“ A break didn't seem that bad. So I nodded. We drove a few more minutes until Yoongi finally stopped the car. As I looked outside the windows I saw a wonderful little park. How was it possible that he knew such a cute and lovely place? And as if he would've read my mind he said, „I came here often with my mother before she … passed away.“ His voice cracked with the last few words and I didn't know why I asked him such a damn question like: „Why did she pass away?“ After I asked this question I felt like the dumbest person on this planet. He got quiet and said nothing, so I decided to stay quiet as well. That was before I left the car.
As I got outside I felt a soft breeze on my skin. For February it was really warm. „Wow. What a wonderful place. Thank you for bringing me here.“ I said and without really noticing what I did, I hugged him and did- did his cheeks just blush? Or did I just imagine this? He looked quite surprised after that sudden hug. „I just thought you could- you could need to breathe in some fresh air. D-do you want to stay here a little longer?“ He stuttered and I nodded in approvement. „Why don't we search for a nice place to sit at?“ I asked smiling and now it was his time to silently nod.
We sat down under a big tree. Better said I sat down while Yoongi was awkwardly standing in front of me, not knowing what he should do. He seemed quite nervous and I couldn't resist placing my hand in his. His eyes showed confusion as he looked at our intertwined hands. My lips formed a shy smile. „My mother always does this when she notices I'm nervous.“ He still looked confused but refused to say anything and just sat down next to me. My hand still in his.
We stayed like this for quite a while. I can't really say if it was as akward as I imagined it to be. But it was a wonderful moment to stay with him like we just did. Never in my life I thought I would be that close to him. As the realisation of the truth hit me again I had to take my hand out of his. Again he looked at out hands with confusion while I had to hold my sudden upcoming tears.
He stared at me for a while until he said: „A car accident.“ I was puzzled for a moment before I realised that this was the answer to my earlier question about his mothers death. „My mother passed away in a car accident. That driver that hit her car was drunk and drove way too fast. He actually comitted a hit and run. Leaving my mother dying in that car. I was told she was already dead as soon as he hit her. She had no chance to survive.“ I noticed tears stroking his cheek as he started to cry while telling me this. For a moment I couldn't say anything. Without being aware of what I did, I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. And in this moment I may said the right thing. Nothing. There were no words needed. Since I never happened to loose a beloved person I could only imagine how awful it must've felt. Yoongi allowed himself to ease his muscles and accepted the fact that I was holding him. He whispered something but I couldn't understand because of my heart beating way too loud.

„Mom?! Are you home?“ A middle-aged male appeared in front of my eyes. „Hyerin!“ He said and his face was showing some kind of relief. „Where have you two been? What took you so long?“ I noticed his harsh undertone in his voice which was directed towards his son. „I'm sorry Mr. Min. It was my fault. I still felt sick so he decided it would be best getting some fresh air.“ Mr. Min nodded and his expression softened.
My mother was still at work. The school must've called her by mobile since I remember Yoongi saying, that she called him to bring me home. I got inside my room and closed the door behind me. As I sat down on my bed I heard his voice outside my room. 'Shit Hoseok. Yeah I forgot our meeting but I had to bring her home. Her mother called me.' Without wanting I had to listen to this talk because I knew for fact they were talking about me. 'Are you serious? I would never end up liking her. She's about to become my sister. Also you know I can't stand girls being all lovey-dovey.' As I heard this I started pouting and felt tears coming up. But no- I was Seo Hyerin. I needed to be strong, I wouldn't let myself being ruined by a boy like that. How did he even manage to act all nice around me and then talking like this behind my back. His mind seriously was twisted. And why should I keep up with a boy like this…
But was that really the truth?

Notes