Jennie sat near the end of the table, in between Rapmon and J-Hope for another BTS fan sign. The American had a love/hate relationship with fan signs because there were bad seeds that didn’t like her and only wanted to support the boys. Over the years she’s tried hard to make a name for herself, she did not want to be some forgotten member of the group. She seems to have done well, making an impact as an African American in Seoul but it was inevitable that people just did not like her.

Most of the time, she did not like attending these fan signs and wished that there could be a way that she didn’t have to go. There were usually some OT7 supporters that tend to ignore her and skip her at fan signs, making her feel some type of way.

It sucked and it hurt.

It is 2015. You still bitter that a young woman is with a group of guys? Professionally performing?

She didn’t do anything wrong but there were a bunch of antis that just did not like her because she was a female in BTS.

I mean, what can you do?

It was the same reasons.

It’s a dumb idea, why would anyone want this?
This should not happen, it isn’t realistic.
No way in the world they would put a black person in K-Pop. That’s not ever going to happen.

Jennie had a hard time putting on a poker face as it clearly looked like she didn’t want to be there and was mentally preparing herself for those that were going to skip her during the fan sign. Most fansites of hers would film her reactions and express concern that she looked somewhat troubled when fan signs are supposed to be a happy time.

The members would notice and give her reassuring smiles, hand squeezes and place a hand on her shoulder for support along with encouraging words, which helped her out.

While signing autographs, there were written questions for her as she wrote down answers on sticky notes.

‘On ALLKpop, there was a poll for who is the best looking foreigner in K-Pop. You weren’t on the list. How do you feel about that?’

“Honestly, I’m not even surprised but in reality, who cares about a poll about who is the best looking? As long as you know that you're beautiful, that should be all that matters. No need for a poll to prove that. I wish they’d stop that, tbh.” she wrote, already mentally preparing for social media to give their opinions on her answer. Some would probably say that she’s saying this out of spite cause she wasn’t on the list, while others would agree and support her answer.

‘What male K-Pop groups have you’ve been listening to lately?’

“I really like GOT7, they’re really cool and make some great music. Also, Monsta X and Seventeen. Ever since I came to South Korea, the members have been getting me into good movies, shows, and music.”

BTS has some unique fans and from time to time fans would like to always ask Jennie this question, “Can I touch your hair?” and she would always respond with the same answer with a smile, “No, you cannot, hon.”

Jen liked to see male supporters of Bangtan come to the fan signs. Mainly groups have a bunch of female fans and it was a nice change to see males pop up at fan signs. She loves diversity.

“Jennie! Are you looking for any guys, yet?” one guy had asked her, intertwining his fingers with hers.

“Waiting for one to sweep me off my feet. Perhaps, it’s you?” she teases, making him feel shy.

“I-I hope so! Can we have a staring contest?”

She leans up close to his face, staring closely into his eyes. As they stared each other down for a few seconds, Jennie ends up blinking and the guy happily celebrates.

When another male fan approached her, she sweetly asked questions like if he had eaten today and how he was doing.

“I heard you like to work out with Jungkook. Let’s arm wrestle to check out your strength.” he proposes

“All righty, you’re on!” she puts her arm out, clasps his hand and they begin. Slowly, she brings his arm down and gives herself a pat on the back.

“Ahhh, you’re stronger than I thought. Jungkook will be proud.”

“I hope so too, I’ll be sure to let him know.”

As the fan sign went on, Miss Bangtan continued to write down answers to questions on sticky notes.

‘Who do you think is improving the most in BTS?’

“Jin.” she writes. “He deserves more recognition. His vocals, his dancing. I’m very proud of him.”

‘Jennie, how did it feel to be a trainee for a short amount of time? Did you feel ready?’

“It was surreal for them to announce me as Miss Bangtan but I did feel ready because they gave me a chance and believed in me to be here. I won’t take it for granted. I will work hard, so keep being a great supporter and give BTS lots of love, mkay?”

When the next fan shifts over to her, Jennie smiles and greets her. But, the fan rolls her eyes and goes to Hobi instead.

‘And here comes the BS…’ she thought with annoyance as her doubts come back. Jen had heard Hobi ask why the fan skipped her and fan bluntly replied that she just didn’t like her at all.

“Well, clearly you aren’t a true BTS fan if you don’t support all the members.” Jen bluntly points out, causing the girl to get annoyed and toss the album she was getting signed at the table, storming off. “Wow, really?” she frowns while the rest of the members looked irritated at the fan’s disrespect. Everyone around them wasn’t too pleased with the behavior either.

“Sorry, munchkin.” Hobi smiles sadly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze

“It’s fine.” she shrugs.

When given another written question that asked, ‘What do you have that is better than the members?’

Jennie wrote, ‘A big booty. Lol.’

‘Ennie-ah! When are you dying your hair?’ was the next written question as she chuckles at next common question she was asked ever since debut.

She writes, ‘Good things happen to those who wait. I’ll dye my hair when you least expect it. Soon. I know everyone is anticipating it. It’ll be a color that’ll suit me. Please be excited!’
‘What’s your pre-concert ritual?’

“I used to do cartwheels but now I make sure to eat smarties and do jumping jacks to get the blood flowing. It calms my nerves. I also try to warm up my voice and pray before going on stage.” she writes on the sticky note.

“I know you get flustered with things like this but I think you’re so cute when you attempt to do it. Can you show me some aegyo?” the next fan requests.

“Ah...” Jennie cringes. “Do I have to?”

“Yes, you do.” the fan giggles

“Okay. Fine.” she makes a cute face which makes the fan laugh.

When given another written question which was, ‘Would you date a fan?’

Jennie writes, ‘Love is unpredictable. So yes, if someone catches my eye.’

‘Out of all the members, who would you date?’

‘Jin. He always takes good care of me and cares a lot. His cooking is great, who wouldn’t want to date him? Hahaha, we getting some serious SeokJen today, huh? Hope this feeds the shippers. I know what y’all up to on Tumblr. Y’all crazy, lol.’

“Jennie, are you dating, right now?” another ARMY asks. When Jen shakes her head, they add, “If you liked someone, how would you confess?”

“Hm…I think I’d be in denial first, thinking my mind is just acting silly. But I do want to be straightforward with the guy. I’m not quite sure how yet. Next time I’m asked, I’ll think of a better answer.”

“Who would you marry in BTS?”

“You,” Jen answers with a sweet smile, causing the girl to feel flushed.

The question, ‘Is it true you’re an advocate for Taehyung-ah being in Cypher PT4?’ was written on another sticky note

‘I’m REALLY trying to convince Yoongi but he’s not having it. I’m still persistent.’ Jen writes.

‘Have you thought of marriage?’

Everyone likes to ask people this type of question, but Jen honestly did not have a solid answer and wrote, ‘Uh…not really. Trying to enjoy being young.’

‘Do the members get mad at you if you don’t call them oppa?’

‘Nah. They’re cool about it. I feel weird calling them that. Plus a little disrespectful? But they’re understanding. I don’t like saying that word.’ she writes down.

The next fan approached her as Jen smiles and starts signing her autograph.
“Can I ask you a question?” The fan asks

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“Can you leave BTS?”

“What?” she looks up in confusion, after signing her autograph.

“Can you leave the group?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you left a group before. You can do it again. Please do it again. For everyone’s sake. The members don’t even like you. I bet they’re so happy when you’re not around.” the female anti glares at her.

Hobi turns to the anti and frowns. “Hey, that isn’t true. If you have nothing nice to say, you should leave.”

“No, I won’t leave.” she turns back to Jennie. “Truth is, no one likes you, here. You are so irrelevant in the group. It’s so stupid to have a female in this group. Coed groups never work. It should be seven guys and that’s it. And before you even think about calling me a racist, I’m not. I have black friends. You don’t bring anything to the table. Your singing is annoying, you will never be able to join the rap line, you can’t dance half as good as Jin or Rapmon and your guitar skills will never be great. You are slowing BTS down.”

Security stepped in, to try to escort the girl away but she stands her ground. “If there was going to be a female in the group, it should at least be an Asian girl. Not no American. You stupid Americans take over everything! Now you wanna come here and take over K-Pop? Just leave K-Pop alone and go away! You are too dark to be in K-Pop. Americans shouldn’t even be in K-Pop. Leave already! You already did once.”

Jennie exhales slowly, trying so hard not to slap the girl. It wasn’t worth it. But lately, people have been testing her patience. “Exactly what did I do so wrong to you?” she looks at the Anti fan.

“You’re breathing.” the anti bluntly responds.

That was extremely uncalled for. Jennie became so upset that she was this close to grabbing the anti by her hair and drag her across the table. But that wouldn’t be a good idea for the sake of Bangtan’s public image. She couldn’t do that to the members, no matter how much she wanted to beat the girl’s ass.

So much for positive thinking.

The members began to get upset at how rude the girl was and started to speak up, while the security guards escort the female out.

“I agree with her.” the next fan approaches Jennie.

Wow, so this was all planned out?

Jeez. The Lord was testing Jennie today because she really wanted to attack somebody.

“Joining BTS was a mistake for you. I hate how you want everything to be in English.” The anti goes on.

‘I never said anything like that.’ Jen thought with annoyance.

That was just another bad rumor to make her look bad. Antis even had #MissBangtanIsCanceled trending on Twitter a few weeks ago.

“You are so rude, you don’t even call them oppa. You think you know everything. It’s like you want to be Korean but you’ll never ever be Korean. And I hope you don’t think you’re going to be dating anyone around here because why would anyone want to date a pig like you.”

“You done...?” Miss Bangtan raises a brow, trying to keep her anger in check.

“No, I’m not done! You don’t know anything about our culture. You are hopeless. I give you until the end of the year before you decide to leave Bangtan. Because all that you are is a weak little girl that decides to leave when things don’t go her way.” the girl stands up from the table and starts to yell at her while security interferes. “How dare you waltz into K-Pop? You had such a short training period and that is unfair to all those trainees that worked hard for years and still don’t have a spot in a group. So what did you do to get a spot in Bangtan? Did you have to pay Big Hit for a spot? How can Big Hit choose someone like you? They should’ve made you leave after the whole GLAM scandal in the company. You should go back to your country! Go back to Africa or whatever ditch you came from! I don’t get why anyone would have a black bastard like you in K-Pop.”

It took the strength of God for Jennie to not punch her in the face. That made her angry and it got under her skin. It was also hypocritical of the anti to say that she didn’t deserve the spot in Bangtan when other idols had shorter training periods than her and still gets embraced by fans. For instance, Yeeun from Wonder Girls, who trained for only a few days before debuting with the group.

What was wrong with these people these days? All of this for what?

What was the reason?

You have no solid reason to act this way about her. It was sad and pathetic.

“You know what? You’re making me upset. Take a chill pill.” Miss Bangtan responds. “You have no valid reason why you hate me. I bet the reason you’re doing it is because you’re following what others are doing and it shouldn’t be like that. It’s quite sad you’re acting this way. It’s unattractive. You are so beautiful but no man is ever going to want to date someone with such a disgusting personality. I’ll be praying for you. I hope one day you can support all of Bangtan and not just seven members. Now, I highly suggest you get out of my face and have a blessed day.”

The girl didn’t have anything to say after that, stunned by her response and was kicked out of the fansign. The members felt extremely bad about how much discrimination she was getting from those two antis. Jen was so angry, that some tears began to fall and she quickly wiped them as the fansites continued to film.

“Jennifer.” Namjoon will place a hand on her shoulder.

“Are all Koreans, like this?” she asks and shakes her head in disappointment. “Is this going to happen every time we have fan signs? ‘Cause this is really tiring and I don’t feel like catching a case on some of these bad seeds because one day I’m going to snap and beat someone’s ass. And I don’t want to do that but they really trying me, Namjoon. I’m so over this. If they think I’m going to leave because of a few bad seeds, they’re wrong. But this needs to stop, like, now. This has been happening for a couple years now and I can’t take much more of this because I am going to snap. I get it, you don’t like me. I don’t care, it’s reality, not everyone is going to like someone. But do you really have to be this unnecessary?” she rants and starts to cool down after Namjoon talks some sense into her

After a while, the next fan that approached her looked sympathetic and wiped Jen’s tears from her eyes. “I apologize on behalf of those rude antis. They are not BTS fans if they can’t support all eight of you. Please don’t let it get to you. I don’t want to see my bias mad or upset.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it. I won’t.” Jen begins to feel calm as she kept her head up high.
As the fan sign went on, Jennie continued to be in a better mood, having some stickers on her face thanks to some fans and even was given a Captain American themed headband to wear, which annoyed Jungkook.

“Are you ever going to do any solo work? Like, create a mixtape or a mini album?” she was asked.

“I have a V-Live about that. I have a bunch of songs on my laptop that I made over the years but I want to rerecord them when my vocals get better and then I’ll think about releasing them. As of right now, no plans anytime soon. I personally feel like I am not ready for that, yet. I don’t want to release half-assed music for ARMY. Maybe in a few years.”

The next fan had given her a written question and once Jen reads it, she chuckles softly. “Wow. You guys are bold today, aren’t you?” she asks with amusement.

The question was a personal one. Extremely personal. It boldly asked if she was a virgin.

“You don’t have to answer. I just see this all over the internet and was curious.” The fan responds nervously.

This has also been over social media ever since she debuted. All the assumptions that she sleeps with the members since she lives in the dorm with them. It was just too much. So, hopefully, this will shut everyone up with the rumors and accusations.

Jen writes, ‘Yes and I’m aware of all the not safe for work comments about me on social media. Y’all thirsty af. I also have seen the various assumptions about me. The first and last time I am making it clear that I am waiting for someone special instead of hooking up. Hooking up is not my cup of tea. I wouldn’t last long hooking up with others because I am guaranteed to catch feelings and it’ll go downhill from there. I’ve seen it happen to a lot of people and I don’t want to go through that emotional stress. I want to wait until that special someone comes along. And it is sad to see people look so shocked when they hear that someone like me is a virgin. I don’t think me being a virgin is a big deal. Honestly, who cares? Wish people would stop hypersexualizing black women.’

“Can you speak English for me?” one fan that approached her asked, shyly.

“Thank you for supporting Bangtan. It’s people like you that are the reason that Bangtan is here, today. Also, have you tried smarties? They’re absolutely delicious!” she responds.

“Ahhh your voice! It’s so different from when you speak in Korean. I love you, so much!”

“Aw, thanks, I like to be loved.” Miss Bangtan grins and shares a laugh with the fan. The fan had also given her smarties which made her day better.

Another question someone had written was, ’Would you ever get plastic surgery?’

Jennie writes, ‘Nothing against those who get it but no, absolutely not. I really don’t want to change anything about myself. I love how my body is, even with the flaws. I’m glad Big Hit loves my natural beauty, unlike one of the Big 3 companies that I auditioned for. Glad I chose Big Hit, I’ll just keep it at that. To be blunt and honest, the beauty standards here make me sad. We should embrace our natural beauty and not feel obligated change our looks because of what others want us to look like.’

The next written question, ‘Favorite brands?’ caused Jennie to smile.

She writes, ‘Nike is my LIFE. It’s a must! As long as you buy me Nike stuff, I’m happy. I also like American Eagle and Forever 21. Oh, and Victoria’s Secret. I love how I look in their expensive af underwear, despite their prices being an arm and a leg. And I like how my butt looks when I wear them. I dunno why but for some reason, I like how some of their red, black and yellow underwear looks on me. I look cute in them. My skin color looks great in those colors. Especially black, I love black. Oh jeez, I think I just gave you Tumblr imagine ideas. Should I be concerned? LOL. It’s cool, I don’t care what you do.’

“Hi, Jennie!” the next fan sweetly greeted her in English, with a bright smile on her face. The fan looked about her age and was actually American, which pleasantly surprised her.

“Girl! You came all the way from the USA to see me?” Jennie couldn’t stop smiling at her.

“Of course! I finally get to meet my favorite idol. You are way prettier in person. And I am so happy that I get to tell you how you made me start believing in myself. I just thank you for being you 100%. You are so real and I hope you never change. I hope you continue to work hard in Bangtan and stay in K-Pop. True ARMY love you and support all members. I hope you know that.”

The fans words almost made her tear up as she nods and holds her hand. “Always.”

---

A few days after the fan sign, Sam Okyere, who Jen has been following for a few months now, had reached out to her on Instagram via comment about wanting to meet her. She immediately responded that she would love to meet him and quickly DM’ed him to figure out a good date to meet. Within the next day, she made her way to a private place where they wouldn’t be disturbed by any K-Pop fans.

After a few minutes of waiting, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she turns to look up to see Sam smiling. “Jennie, hello!”

“Hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you!” she embraces him. She felt so happy as she felt a rush of positive vibes when in front of him. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I really enjoy watching you on Korean TV.”

“Really? Wow, thank you!” he sits down with her.

“I’m glad you reached out to me. I’ve been wanting to for a while but kind of chickened out.”

“We’re here now. Don’t ever hesitate to message me.”

As they get into conversation to get to know each other, Sam brings up, “I heard about what you went through at a recent fan sign. I’m sorry to hear about that.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what I did so wrong. I thought they would be so much more mature than that. The hostility is brutal. It often angers me and I want to yell and scream but public image is everything. How do you do it? I get so angry about this stuff, it’s really frustrating. I know racial discrimination is everywhere in the world. But is there advice on overcoming it?”

“I always think it’s best to try your best to know about the culture and language. Koreans think you’re standoffish if you don’t know Korean. How did they react when you spoke in Korean?”

“Boy, they were pretty surprised, I’ll tell you that. I would get compliments on it and everything. Some even talked to me more once they heard me speak their language. Normally people would hesitate and ask me if I know Korean because most don’t know English, just their primary language.”

“You see that they tend to open up all of a sudden when you know more about their culture.”

“Mm-hm. What’s the hardest thing you faced in Korea with racial discrimination?

“When I attended college, I really didn’t know much of the language then. I didn’t have any friends so I did feel lonely and upset. There was this black music club at the school and I joined as the first black person.”

“Wow.”

“There was this guy I knew and he said that he had studied abroad in Canada and he told me that he understood how I felt here in Korea. So he wanted to treat me better. He wanted to work on assignments with me that I had struggled with and wanted to eat together.”

“That’s really good that he feels like that,” she responds. “I always feel lonely when I don’t see someone who looks like me. Someone that I can relate to. Yeah, I have a strong bond with BTS but sometimes I do feel lonely because it’s just not the same as relating to someone that’s similar to me. I do have friends that accept me for who I am and never treat me differently because of the color of my skin or being a foreigner. I hope that people here can learn more about the world and other cultures.”

Sam nods. “I understand how you feel. It is frustrating. Although I experienced racism here in Korea, people ask me why do I stay. I say that it’s the word, us. Despite the bad experiences, I had good experiences, too. I made tons of amazing friends. Whenever I’m going through a bad time, they tell me, ‘Don’t worry, you can get through this because of us.’ Around Christmas do you ever feel lonely?”

“Lowkey, yes because I’m not with my family.”

“That is also how I feel because I get reminded about my family. Foreigners in Korea, they get the most lonely during Christmas. My friend, he asked me what I would be doing for Christmas and I would tell him that I want to go back to Ghana but the airfare is too expensive so I’ll be staying in Korea. My friend offered for me to spend Christmas with him and I was planning on leaving after the meal but stayed for three days.”

“Wow.” she looks on in amazement. “That is really sweet of him. With Bangtan…” she starts chuckling and begins to tear up.

All those pleasant memories she spent with BTS hit her hard as she tried to blink the tears away.

“People have no idea how those boys have made my experience in Korea so…painless. Taehyung, he was the first person I met when I came to Korea. I was a trainee then. He took time out of his busy schedule to hang out with me, show me around places in Korea and even got me into trying various Korean foods. He is so incredibly sweet and welcomed me with open arms. Supported me while I tried out to try to be the Bangtan Girl of BTS, too. And Christmas with Bangtan…I miss my family but they make me feel like I’m at home. We exchange gifts, fight over who puts up the decorations for the tree, we make a mess, it’s just…pure happiness.” she explains. “And I’ll always cherish that. They always tell me that I’m never alone even if I’m in another country, away from my family. That I have them and good friends that love me for who I am and won’t discourage me. It makes me feel less lonely. “

As they continue to talk, Sam brings up, “I cooked some Ghanaian food.”

“Oh snap, you have? Right now we’re gonna eat that?”

He nods and smiles. “Let’s bring it out.”

Plates of various foods were in front of them and she smiles. “All of this looks so delicious! Wow. I never tried African food.”

“Really? You are African American?” He asks

“Yes, born in America. All I really had was American food and the soul food that my family makes. I do enjoy eating different foods from other cultures as well.”

”I’m sure you’ll enjoy all of this. Have you learned of your ancestry from black racial groups of Africa?”

“I actually haven’t but would love to know actually.”

“I can help you look into that.”

“That would be great.”

“Let’s dig in. This is Jollof rice and fufu. But try the soup first.” he points out as she takes a spoon and tries it.

“I like.” she smiles and takes her chopsticks to pick up some meat to dip into the soup. “What type of meat is this?”

“It’s goat meat.”

“Ooh, first time trying this.” she takes a bite and nods in approval. “I like that kick.”

“Yeah, it’s a little spicy,” he responds and eats some goat meat with her.

“And what about this? Finger food?” she points to another plate.

“Yes, you eat this with your hands.” He responds and she takes a piece and rips a piece off before placing it in her mouth. “You have to swallow it.”

“Not chew?” she responds, surprised.

“Nah.” He chuckles. “We don’t chew it, just swallow, right away because it’s a soup.” he demonstrates and she mimics his movements.

“This is so delicious! I really needed this. Thank you for this. I’m definitely telling my mom to try to make all of this.”

Sam licks his fingers clean and she does the same. “My mom always tells me to not lick my fingers and to just wipe them off with a towel because it’s not polite,” Jen adds. “But how can I not with this soup? It’s so good. I still act rebellious towards her and lick my fingers anyway when I eat certain foods.”

“I’m sure your mom won’t mind this time.” he laughs

Sam gestures her to try the Jollof rice next, letting her know that it’s somewhat similar to Korea’s kimchi fried rice. Jen takes a bite, eating it with him while sighing in content.

“Is there like someway you can come by Bangtan’s dorms and cook for me?” she teases and they end up laughing. “Cause this food just reminds of home for some reason. Like I never ate any of this but I just feel at home.”

“I’m very happy that you do.” he beams as he eats a small chicken leg. “With the chicken, sometimes I even chew the bones because it has flavor.”

“Oh, I have some family members that chew bones too. I never actually chewed on the bones. But I’ll try it today. My mom is a dentist so she was always up my behind on making sure my teeth were well cleaned. I’m sure eating a bone won’t crack my teeth.”

“She sounds very passionate about good teeth.”

“Trust me, she is. It can be so annoying!” she groans.

“How are you in K-Pop? Are you held to unfortunate high standards?”

“Yes, sadly. I remember wearing a traditional Korean Hanbok and I was so nervous because I knew I would get a wave of criticism about it. And like I predicted, I did.” she shakes her head. “Before I came here, I tried to make sure I was prepared and knew a lot of the language and culture. And of course, there’s those that claim I’ll be prettier with lighter skin. I will always be respectful here and respect their culture. But I refuse to live up to their beauty standards just because they don’t think darker skin is attractive. I won’t change myself for someone else.”

“I’m glad you have that mindset of not changing for anyone. Keep that. How are you in SOPA? High school in Korea hard for you?”

“You know it took a while for me to transition to their school system but overall, I’m one of those people that enjoy learning in school, so it isn’t that bad. But I still do get stared at all the time, no matter where I am. Being abroad, you learn about yourself and learn how capable you are. It’s a challenge. But I hope that my tolerance will grow as I continue to be here in Korea.”

After their meal, the two embrace, take a few selfies and she posts them on Twitter, ‘Thank you for everything!! It was so nice meeting you! I’m looking forward to hanging out with you again. #Jen’

From meeting Sam, Jen felt her loneliness and doubts decrease and she went back to the dorms with a positive attitude. She was eager to tell her family about learning more about African foods so they can enjoy it together when she is able to go back home.

Notes