If You

Emily was putting her earrings in when her phone buzzed on the bathroom counter. It was from Jiyong.

We’re having breakfast in my suite, want some?

On my way, she sent back, slipping her phone into her pocket. She grabbed her satchel and headed down the hallway to Jiyong’s suite. She tried to stifle a yawn as she knocked on the door.

“It’s open,” Jiyong called. She entered the room, closing the door behind her. “Please tell me there’s coffee,” she groaned, sitting at the table.

“And muffins,” Seungri chirped, munching on one while he scrolled through his phone.

Emily poured herself a cup of coffee and wrapped her hands around it, letting the warmth of the coffee seep into her fingers.“Hi,” Jiyong said, kissing the top of her head as he went by. He was wearing a robe, his hair wet from showering.

“This is getting a little gross,” Daesung commented, raising an eyebrow. Jiyong grabbed a muffin and took a large bite. “Jealous?” he teased. “I’m sorry, Daesung, I didn’t realize how lonely you are. I’ll be sure to say something in our next interview with WonderGirl.”

Daesung walked over to the breakfast cart, punching Jiyong in the arm as he passed. “Look, they sent up some magazines,” Daesung said, brandishing a stack of them.“Anything good?” Youngbae asked, opening a bottle of juice. Daesung began sorting through them. “Not really. A couple of political things, some cooking stuff…” He paused suddenly, staring at one of the magazines intently. They looked up, waiting for him to continue.

“What else, Daesung?” Emily prodded. Daesung didn’t answer, his eyebrows knitting together in shock. “What’s wrong, Daesung?” Jiyong asked, straightening up. Daesung blinked rapidly and shrugged. “Nothing,” he said, going to the next magazine. Jiyong walked over and took it from him before Daesung could stop him. He read the cover and his grin disappeared, replaced by a hard line.

“Jiyong?” Emily asked, sitting up. “What is it? Did something bad happen?”

He looked at her and opened his mouth, but no words came out. “Wow, what is it?” Youngbae asked, looking over his shoulder. After a moment he cursed and sat back down on the bed.

“Jiyong!” Emily repeated, panic beginning to grow in her stomach. Jiyong let her take the magazine from him and Emily inhaled sharply. It was a picture of her and Jiyong at the park, sitting at the picnic table. Her mouth was full of chicken and Jiyong was looking away, presumably at the basketball game. There was a giant red circle around her head and an arrow pointing at her stomach. Another, smaller picture near the bottom showed them kissing. The headlines were in Korean, but she managed to read them.

“Are Fatties the New Hotties? Jiyong Thinks So! How Did Such a Sizzling Star Get Stuck With a Pudgy Prude? Get the details on page 19!”

The room fell silent, save for Emily’s shaky breathing. She opened the magazine and read aloud haltingly. “Sources say the American writer had only been with the group for a month before sinking her claws into their leader. Maybe if she didn’t enjoy her treats so much Jiyong would bring her out more. Is he ashamed of such a distasteful girlfriend?
Sources also say that they haven’t slept together once! He probably doesn’t want to see her naked, and frankly, we can’t blame him. Her face may be pretty, but with an embarrassing body like that, a break-up can’t be far away. And we’ll be here with the juicy details!” Emily sank down on the bed, her thoughts swirling together.

“I’ll sue that magazine for every penny they’ve got!” Jiyong hissed. “This is slander and I won’t have it, especially from some trashy tabloid!”

The others didn’t respond, still frozen in shock. Seunghyun awakened first. “I’ll call our lawyer,” he said, reaching for his phone.Emily looked at the cover again, glancing back and forth at the pictures. “Sagowa’s going to have a fit,” she murmured.

“He’ll be fine,” Youngbae said reassuringly. “Don’t worry, this isn’t your fault.”

Seunghyun put his phone to his ear and began speed talking in Korean, anger coloring his voice. The door opened and Mr. Sagowa rushed in. “We need to handle this,” he said without preamble, waving another copy of the magazine. Emily got up awkwardly. “Mr. Sagowa, I’m so sorry. I take full responsibility for this.”

Mr. Sagowa came over to her. “No one blames you for this, Emily,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “We’re going to take care of this.”

“What about the press conference?” Daesung asked.

“That’s going to be a nightmare,” Seungri groaned.

“Cancel it,” Jiyong said immediately. “I’m going to order a car and go to that magazine’s office right now.”

“No, Jiyong,” Emily said, looking up at him. “Don’t cancel the conference. This can wait a few hours. You need to go out there and make an appearance, generate some good publicity.”

“She’s right,” Mr. Sagowa said. “One sleazy tabloid took some cheap shots. So what? You’re getting ready to drop the most anticipated album of the year and release a music video. That’s what people will remember.”

Jiyong sighed. “Are you sure?” he asked her. Emily nodded. Jiyong sighed, rubbing her back thoughtfully. “Fine. We’ll do the press conference, but the second it’s over we're serving that magazine with papers.”

Mr. Sagowa sighed and nodded. “Fine. I’ll send your team up for hair and makeup.” He left the room just as Seunghyun got off the phone. “He’s drawing up the papers now. He’ll send them to the hotel for printing in a couple of hours.” Jiyong nodded. “Good. Will you ask Sagowa to have them brought to me after the conference? And to arrange for a car.”

Emily grabbed her satchel off of her chair. “I’ll leave you to get dressed,” she said, putting it on.

“Emily,” Jiyong said, catching her by the hand. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said, squeezing his hand. “I’m alright.”

She left and headed down the hallway to her suite. She made another coffee and sipped it slowly, staring out the window at the skyline.

After a while Emily left her suite and headed to Seunghyun’s room. She tapped on the door and slipped in quietly. The room was buzzing with stylists and managers, while Seunghyun sat in his makeup chair, texting furiously. Daesung and Youngbae were standing by the window, already prepped and talking quietly.

The door closed behind Emily and the room fell silent as everyone looked at her. Some of the stylists whispered to each other and Emily felt her cheeks warm. She ignored them and found a free chair near Seunghyun, pulling out her notebook to write. The others slowly resumed their work, still chattering in Korean. Seunghyun glanced at her. “How do you feel?” he asked softly.

“I’m fine,” Emily replied, barely looking up from her notes. She crossed her legs comfortably. Just focus on the conference and you’ll be fine, she told herself. The whispering continued and she felt her chin wobble. Breathe, Emily…

Tears surfaced and she got up quickly, heading for the bathroom. She closed the door and cried, sinking slowly to the floor. Words like “distasteful” and “fatty” kept running through her head. “Emily?” Seunghyun said, his voice muffled through the door. “I sent the stylists away. Please let us in.”

She took a shaky breath, wiping her cheeks with her hands. The door opened slowly and Seunghyun came in. “It’s okay to be upset,” he whispered. He sat on the floor beside her, putting an arm around her. “Sorry,” she murmured. “I usually have a thicker skin than this.” She sniffed loudly. “I can't seem to catch a break right now,” she said ruefully.

Youngbae came in tentatively, Daesung right behind him. “This doesn't change anything,” he said, kneeling down. “You know that, right?”

“We’ll destroy that trashy magazine,” Daesung promised. “YG has the best lawyers available. They won't get away with this.”

Emily sniffed again. “Thank you,” she said, smiling at them. “I guess I'm just a little raw right now.”

There was a knock on the bedroom door. “Seunghyun, are you ready?” Jiyong called.

“It's Jiyong,” Daesung whispered. They all got up and Emily looked in the mirror. Her makeup was badly smudged, streaking where her tears had fallen. “He can't see me like this,” she whispered.

“I'll go downstairs with him,” Seunghyun said as Jiyong knocked again. “Stay in here until we're gone.” He left the bathroom, locking the door behind him. The three of them were perfectly quiet as Seunghyun opened the door for Jiyong. “Let me put my shoes on,” he said.

“Did Emily come by?” she heard Jiyong ask.

“She did,” Seunghyun said evasively.

“I'm worried about her. I think she's more upset than she's letting on.”

“Maybe, but she's handling it remarkably well. Just try to focus during the conference and we'll take care of the tabloid later.”

There was a pause. “This is my fault,” Jiyong said quietly. “She doesn't deserve this. Am I… doing the right thing?”

“That depends,” Seunghyun replied. “Why are you doing this?”

There was a pregnant pause. “Because I want to,” Jiyong whispered. “Because she makes me a better person. Because she's part of me, part of us.”

Emily blinked back more tears and looked down at the floor.

“Then you're doing the right thing,” Seunghyun pronounced. “Ready?

They left, the door closing firmly behind them. Daesung opened the bathroom door and peeked out. “Okay,” he pronounced, stepping out of the bathroom. Emily started washing her hands where they were smudged with makeup. Why am I always crying in a bathroom? she wondered, drying her hands. She looked at her face and sighed hopelessly. “There's no fixing this,” she said. “I look like a clown caught in the rain.”

“It's not that bad,” Youngbae said, wetting a washcloth in the sink and dabbing at her face. “Hmm.”

“What?”

“It's just kind of spreading around,” Youngbae said, wringing out the washcloth.

There was another knock at the door and Daesung peered through the peephole. “Soo,” he said thankfully, opening the door. “Just the person we need.”

“Other stylists tell me. Emeelee?” Soo called, coming around the corner. She took one look at Emily's tearstained face and sighed. “Poor Emeelee,” she said, hugging her tightly. Her head barely reached Emily's shoulder, making Emily feel like a giant. Soo pulled back and examined her face. “No worry, I fix,” she said, giving her an encouraging smile. She sat Emily down in Seunghyun's makeup chair and opened her bag on the table. She cleaned the dark smudges off of her skin with a soft towelette, leaving Emily's face pristine. She started mumbling under her breath in Korean while she worked, shaking her head angrily. Emily saw Daesung look shocked, raising his eyebrows at Youngbae.

A few minutes later Soo had restored Emily's face, even repinning her hair where it had fallen. “All done,” she pronounced, squeezing Emily's shoulders and smiling at her in the mirror. Emily covered her hands with her own. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“No more cry now. You strong woman, they only jealous.” Soo repacked her bag and left, giving Emily one last wave. Emily looked at Daesung. “Why did you look so shocked earlier?” she asked, standing up.

“Soo was saying some pretty heated stuff under her breath,” Daesung replied, grabbing his jacket. “I've never heard her curse like that.”

“Soo, cursing?” Emily said, surprised. “She didn't look upset.”

“Oh, she was,” Youngbae assured her, opening the door. They took the elevator to the lobby and headed for one of the ballrooms. There were already several reporters and photographers and Daesung cursed softly. “Let's try to get around them,” he said.

“No,” Emily found herself saying. “I have nothing to hide. I'm going to meet this head-on.” She strode forward confidently, swallowing hard as she approached the ballroom doors. The reporters saw her and descended like a flock of birds, clamoring and waving microphones in her face.

“Ms. Carter, how do you feel about Sequin’s cover story this morning?”

“Are you and G-DRAGON still dating?”

“Has he dumped you?”

“Will you take legal action?”

“Is YG terminating your employment with them?”

“Daesung, what's your take on the situation?”

“Will this affect the coming album?”

“Any thoughts, Youngbae?”

“All right, all right!” Mr. Sagowa shouted, wading through the crowd. “YG is handling the matter with the utmost respect. We ask that you do the same. That's all we're prepared to say at this time.”

He put an arm around Emily's shoulders and steered her through the paparazzi. “Should I just go back upstairs?” she whispered. “No, that will only make things look worse,” Sagowa replied. “Better to press on as if everything is normal.”

The ballroom was about half full with people milling around, talking and setting up for the conference. The reporters followed them in, cameras flashing. Jiyong was waiting for them, pacing behind the platform.

“Reporters are already arriving. They were waiting for them,” Sagowa said, pulling the curtain closed behind them. Jiyong pulled Emily into him, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Are you sure about this?” he whispered.

“Better to press on as if everything is normal,” Emily replied, looking at Sagowa. She felt herself relax a little as Jiyong held her, as if nothing could touch her.

“I'll check in with the publicist,” Sagowa said, slipping out again. Daesung and Youngbae discreetly disappeared around the corner, murmuring quietly.

“How are you?” Jiyong asked. “Seunghyun said some of the staff were gossiping.”

“That's only natural,” Emily said. “I'm okay, really.” She turned around and looked at him. “Maybe this is a good thing.”

“A good thing? How?” Jiyong asked incredulously.

“Maybe this is the opening we needed to officially make our relationship public. It would put an end to the rumors and give us a little more freedom.”

Jiyong sighed. “This isn't how I wanted to begin,” he said, “but at least we've begun.”

“In a few weeks someone else will do something and they'll forget about us,” Emily said lightly. “Don't worry, I can handle a few tabloids.”

Sagowa came back in. “Showtime,” he announced. Emily straightened Jiyong's tie and kissed his cheek. “Happy thoughts,” she said, pushing him toward the steps. Once he was onstage Emily turned to Sagowa. “He's not actually going to sue that magazine, is he?”

“He's got the money,” Sagowa replied, “and from what I read this morning he might have a good case. I'll talk with the executives and see how they want to proceed. Since you're currently our employee, anything said against you reflects on the company. Try not to worry about it.”

Easy for you to say, Emily thought to herself. They slipped out and took their seats in the front row. Cameras went off behind them and Emily took a deep breath. Today is no different from any other day, she told herself. She opened her notebook and started taking notes.

Her Korean was still rudimentary at best, but all of the questions directed at Jiyong seemed to be about the album and she sighed with relief. Maybe this won't be so bad, she thought.

“Jiyong, what are your thoughts about Sequin's cover story about you? Are you and Ms. Carter in a relationship?”

Emily felt Sagowa tense beside her and she glanced up at Jiyong.

“It pains me deeply that anyone would say such hurtful things about my friends,” Jiyong replied, “but even more so when it concerns my girlfriend.”

The reporters clamored and Jiyong pointed at one. “So does that mean you haven't broken up with Ms. Carter?”

“I don't take my cues from a tabloid,” Jiyong replied shortly. “My time is very brief, so please limit yourselves to relevant questions.”

“Are you dating her because she's a foreigner?”

“Is this for publicity?”

“Is it true you were forced into it?”

Emily shut her eyes. Her breathing was shallow and uneven, and her hands were starting to tremble. Please don't let me cry in front of all these people, she prayed.

Jiyong stood up and the reporters hushed, pens poised above their notebooks. Emily looked up and saw the anger on his face. “This conference is over,” he said quietly. He buttoned his jacket, pushed his chair in and left the stage without another word. The reporters were stunned for a moment, then began murmuring to each other.

Emily got up and went behind the stage. Jiyong was sitting against the wall, eyes closed. “I'm sorry, Sagowa. I didn't know what else to do.”

Emily nodded. “I know.”

Jiyong's eyes flew open. “Emily. I… ” he stopped and shrugged helplessly. “I'm so sorry.” His voice broke and he looked away. “This is my fault.”

“No, it's not,” Emily said, sitting beside him. “It's theirs. You handled that really well just now. And if we're going to be together, we're going to have to deal with things like that.” She took his hand. “And I'm okay with that,” she whispered.

Jiyong leaned his head on her shoulder and they sat together, listening to the chaos outside.

Notes