He scoffs.

After all of that, and crying, and tissues, and more crying... he scoffs.

“You don’t have to look so disappointed.”

I blink. “What?”

He shakes his head and looks away. “Nothing.”

“Get out,” I say, but he doesn’t move.

To fill the silence, I take another tissue and awkwardly blow my nose again. There’s a small pile amassing by my feet by now.

“They’re probably looking for you,” he says.

“Who?”

“The other members.”

I look around the darkened room and frown. Even I don’t know where I am. I’m surprised he managed to find me at all.

“I don’t know why they’d be out looking,” I mumble, keeping my voice as level as I can.

“That’s because you’re dumb.”

I give him a sideways glare. “Thanks,” I find myself drawling.

“My pleasure.”

I give a long sigh in the quiet period that follows. We sit together in the dark, and I mull over my current situation. I try to avoid any thoughts of Nari and her taunts, for fear they’ll set me off again. But that voice of hers echoes in my head, both in Korean, and my own translated English. It sounds worse when I repeat her words in my own inner voice.

You don’t deserve to be here... Just stop trying when no one needs you... Go back to whatever dumb country you’re from... Hasn’t anyone noticed you yet?

I can feel my swollen eyes tearing up again. It’s stupid. I feel stupid. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop crying. My muffled sobs fill the silent room again, and the voice in the back of my head is wondering what Suga is thinking.

But just when I don’t expect it, there’s a hand in mine, squeezing it tightly. It encloses mine completely, and because of that, it makes me feel safe. I don’t know why – it’s him after all – but it does.

“Don’t listen to her,” he whispers.

And because I can’t help it, it makes me sob even harder.

“You’re annoying enough. Go and annoy her instead. She’ll hate it.”

“Hey,” I mumble through the tissues.

“I know she’s made you feel rubbish, but you have to stand up to her at some point. Slap her if you want. I’ll watch.”

I frown at him as I look over. “Don’t you think she’s amazing?” I murmur.

“No.” He takes a long pause before adding, “I’ve... heard things.”

I don’t ask what things he’s ‘heard’. I’m too busy thinking about the things she’s said.

“But...” I say, “She’s right though.”

“Shut up.”

“Hey-”

“Didn’t you hear me the first time?” He shakes his head, ruffling that dark fringe of his.

So I shut my mouth and wait for him to talk.

“Whatever she’s said, she’s wrong, okay?” he says stiffly.

“I don’t deserve to be here-”

“Wrong.”

“She’s better than me-”

“Wrong.”

“No one needs me around...”

He glances at me quickly. “Someone does,” he says.

I raise my eyebrows at him. “Who?”

He slowly opens his mouth to answer and closes it again. “I don’t know... someone,” he says vaguely, “Probably. Anyway, she’s wrong, so stop being stupid and listening to her.”

“Stop saying I’m stupid,” I tell him, narrowing my eyes.

“But you are, so I’d be denying you the truth.”

“You’re so annoying.”

“You’re so dumb.”

“Stop being rude.”

“No.”

But with that last word, he’s smiling at me, and it makes me smile too.

“Anyway,” he says gruffly, clearing his throat, “I should go... the others- just- yeah...”

He gets to his feet, suddenly all stiff, and passes me my phone from where it lies on the floor. I watch as he loosens his grip on my hand and his fingers leave mine. He walks out, leaving me to my dirty tissues and tears.

And then I have to figure out what to do next. The last thing I want to do is return to the practise room to the sight of Nari gloating. Maybe the best thing is just to go home. Home is a safe place, with no Nari and no confusing things. Mom will ask why I’m back early, and I’ll tell her I don’t feel well. And tomorrow... well, tomorrow will be a new day.

So I decide to go home.

It feels bad to leave on Jin’s birthday, but there’s nothing else I can do. At least by leaving, I’m taking the drama with me. He can enjoy the rest of his birthday now. I head home in a taxi and collapse into bed, hoping tomorrow will be different, or that this was all some terrible dream.
When morning comes, it is evident that it all isn’t a dream.

But I get on with my day anyway. I clean my room for the first time since we moved in a month ago, and I organise my wardrobe. All of this takes place at about six in the morning, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Cleaning my room clears my head... sort of. And I don’t have to go in to work until ten, so I’ve got hours.

And that’s when I realise...

“My camera,” I whisper with a frown.

Where is it?

An image comes to mind of my camera sitting on the table in the practise room and I sigh. I must have left it there. I’ll have to try and sneak in when nobody’s there.

Even so, I shower and get dressed, and finish organising my room before Mom gets up. And whilst doing so, I find two items of clothing that aren’t mine. A black and white striped sweater and a pair of jeans with the legs rolled up.

Four times.

I sigh as I realise that I’ve kept their clothes all this time. Another sigh comes when I realise just how short I am. Suga isn’t a tall person. And yet... four times.

“I’ll have to return them,” I mutter, folding the clothes and putting them in a pile near the door to remind myself to take them into work with me.

By the time my room is clean; I’m refreshed and ready to go. I pull my hair back into a ponytail, still not quite able to believe how not-brown and very-blonde it is. Mom calls me only once and we get a ride over to the Inkigayo building.

We get in early before the members are in costume, so Mom heads off to do that. I find my way towards the makeup rooms, still thinking about the clothes in the bag in my hand. When would be a good time to give them back?

I spot Nari down the corridor, and quickly bow my head to avoid her as she darts into another room. I can’t deal with her today. I swallow and take a breath. It’ll be fine, right?

“Suga!”

The word is already out of my mouth before I can stop it. Halfway down the corridor, he turns at the sound of his name, and approaches when he realises who said it.

“You’re early,” he remarks.

“I noticed.”

There is a long silence that follows. At first, I find myself staring at his hands, and remembering how they held mine only yesterday. I quickly brush off the thought and glance up to meet his eyes. He’s biting his lip and it’s making me nervous.

“Um,” I say, breaking out of my own thoughts, “...jeans.”

He raises an eyebrow instead of asking ‘I’m sorry?’

I present the plastic bag to him with halting movement. “I borrowed them,” I explain, “I wanted to return them to you.”

Suga takes the bag from me and peers inside. “Is that Jimin’s sweater?” he asks curiously.

“Yeah,” I say, making a reach for the bag, “I need to return that to him too. I should find him now.”

“It’s fine!” Suga blurts, holding the bag out of reach. “I can give it back to him.”

“I wouldn’t want to trouble you,” I say quickly, standing on tiptoes to reach the bag that he holds far above his head.

“It’s no trouble,” Suga insists, refusing to hand the bag back.

“Really, I can do it...” I tell him, making one last lunge for the bag.

Unfortunately, I slip and land head-first in his chest, and he catches me with his free arm. It’s just as awkward as the last time this happened too. His sweater is warm against my face, and his arms are strong.

But we hastily jump apart, and I can tell he’s feeling just as awkward as I am.

“Mina!” Nari’s voice echoes down the corridor. “Why don’t you be useful and fetch me a coffee? You might as well do something.”

I brace myself and take a long breath. Then, leaving Suga with the bag, I head down the corridor to obey Nari’s commands. It’s the only way someone like me can survive in here.

But on my way there, I manage to run into Jin.

“Hi, Mina,” he says with that kind smile of his.

“Jin,” I say, biting my lip, “I’m sorry if I ruined your birthday, I didn’t mean-”

He cuts me off with a warm hug, and suddenly he’s half like a brother and half like my actual mom. It gives me the courage and reassurance to face Nari again... somehow.

“It’s our last promotional stage today!” Jin says once we part.

“I guess you’re all excited then,” I say, grinning up at him.

“You should see Hoseok,” Jin laughs. “Will you watch us?”

And even though Nari will be there, I nod and say, “For sure.”

Their stage is as beautiful as ever, and I stand there in the wings, entranced. Watching them makes me forget about Nari’s threatening presence just over my shoulder. For just a few minutes, I smile.

And then they come off stage sweaty but happy, and the makeup artists are mopping foreheads and handing out tissues. And I meet Suga’s eyes and wonder what he’s thinking, unable to read his face. And then Nari’s sucking up to everyone and I sigh, but it doesn’t matter anymore because I’m too tired to cry.

“If you’re not doing anything, Mina, it means you’re not needed,” says Nari. “And that means you’re free to go.”

I’m too tired to even reply. I give a long sigh, smile in the ridiculousness of it all, and head back to the makeup rooms backstage.

Ping!

Jace: Did you get my last text? I hope you’re okay :)

So whilst Nari fawns over the members, I decide to call Jace to see if it makes me feel any better. I mean, it can hardly make me feel worse.

“Mina?”

I open my mouth to say annyeong but I quickly return to an English frame of mind. “Hi, Jace,” I say.

“I was wondering how you’ve been doing,” says Jace with a laugh, and the twang of his American accent reminds me of home.

“I’ve been okay,” I tell him, finding it a little odd to be speaking in English again, “Everything is really different over here, but it’s nice.”

“That’s good to hear,” says Jace through a yawn.

“Wait, did I wake you up?” I ask anxiously. “I forgot about the time difference.”

“It’s okay,” Jace assures me, “I’ve been waiting for you to call anyway. Is your mom well?”

“Yeah,” I tell him, “She’s doing great. How are you?”

“I’m good, thanks,” he says. “College has been pretty full-on, but I’m determined to graduate.”

“Make sure you study enough,” I tell him. “I’m actually kind of glad I skipped college. It sounds tough.”

“Yeah,” Jace laughs, “But how are you going to get anywhere without college?”

“I have a job, actually,” I point out, though my mind is full of negative thoughts about this job, “So I’m one up on you now.”

Jace pauses for a second. “Are you sure you’re okay, Mina?” he asks. “You don’t sound as cheerful as usual.”

“I’m fine,” I say quickly, “Honestly. Everything is fine.”

“Okay,” says Jace, “If you’re sure...”

I hear footsteps outside, and decide to end the call here. It’s awkward to speak English in front of the Koreans, most of which don’t understand. “Um, well, I’ve got to go now,” I say, “But I’ll call you again soon?”

“Of course,” says Jace, “Until next time, Mina.”

“Bye.”

I hang up with a long sigh. I miss him. I miss America. And I miss what my life used to be.

“Oh, hey, Mina,” says Jimin, running hands through sweaty hair as he comes in.

“Hi, Jimin,” I reply, slowly putting my phone away.

“Were you phoning a friend?” Jimin asks curiously, reaching for a bottle of water, “I heard you talking in English before I came in.”

I nod at him and smile briefly. “Yeah, an old friend from back home,” I answer.

He takes a long gulp of water before screwing the cap back on. Then he frowns at me and I know he’s going to ask one of those questions.

“Are you okay, Mina?” he asks, tilting his head to one side. “You seem a little down lately.”

I just shake my head at him. “It’s nothing,” I say.

He comes over and peers into my eyes with concern. “Are you sure? You can tell me, you know. We’re the Yellow Siblings now.”

I wonder whether to mention Nari, or the problems I’ve been having with my job. But I’ve already cried about those, and bringing it up again won’t exactly solve the problem. So instead, I just say:

“I guess I’m just a bit homesick.”

Jimin smiles at me comfortingly, and suddenly he’s wrapping me in a tight, squishy hug. “I still feel like that sometimes,” he says in my ear. “My parents live in Busan, so I don’t get to see them often. It’ll get better with time.”

“Jimin?” says the voice from the doorway.

Jimin pulls away and looks at the other guy questioningly. “Did you need me, hyung?” he asks.

Suga’s standing there frowning again. Then he clears his throat. “The manager has a cake for us, for the last day of promotions,” he explains. “We’re going to light the candles together.”

“Okay,” says Jimin easily. “Are you coming, Mina?”

I hesitate, but shake my head. “I wouldn’t want to spoil the moment,” I mumble.

“You wouldn’t spoil it,” says Jimin brightly, “We’d all love you to come.”

I pause a second longer and take a sigh. It’s not because I don’t want to be there. It’s because I don’t want to be ten feet within Nari’s presence.

“We’ll be there in a minute, Yoongi-hyung,” says Jimin, and Suga reluctantly leaves.

“It’s fine, Jimin, honestly,” I assure him. “I’ll probably go home anyway.”

“Do you not feel well?” Jimin asks worriedly. “You can go home if you’re sick.”

“It’s... something like that,” I say vaguely. “The others are waiting for you. You should go.”

“I suppose so,” says Jimin. “Hey, we have a break coming up after this. We should all hang out sometime!”

I smile in agreement. “Sounds fun,” I tell him.

As long as Nari won’t be there...

“It will be,” he grins, and turns to leave.

And that’s when I remember something else.

“Oh, Jimin?”

“Yes?”

“Um, I’ve lost my camera and I was wondering if you’d seen it?” I ask.

He thinks about it for a second and then shakes his head. “I don’t think I have,” he says, “But if I do, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

“Thank you,” I say, and watch him leave.

We all take a break the following day.

I spend the day watching old episodes of Teen Wolf whilst Mom watches Running Man. The day is calm and uneventful – just the way I like it these days.

The one thing I’m glad about is that I’ve finally sorted things out with Jace. At least he’ll still be there for me. Dad, however, is a completely different matter...

I also take the opportunity to stay home the day after that.

I’m not saying that I like to avoid my problems... but that’s exactly what I’m saying.

On the eighth of November, I become accustomed to the routine of sleep-eat-sleep, but that afternoon, I receive an untimely phone call.

“Hello, Mina speaking,” I say down the line, wondering who the hell has gotten hold of my number.

“Mina!” says Jungkook excitedly.

“Jungkook?” I say stupidly. “How did you get my number?”

“I didn’t,” says Jungkook, “This is Yoongi’s phone.”

I frown at that for a moment before he continues.

“Anyway, we really need you to come round,” Jungkook tells me, “It’s important.”

“Right now?” I groan. I’m still in pyjamas.

“As soon as you can,” says Jungkook. “Be at our place in thirty minutes, okay?”

I give the longest sigh of my life, but unwillingly agree. “Sure, I’ll be there as soon as possible,” I say.

What could possibly be this important?

I take the quickest shower and pull on my jeans and a loose sweater. Then I stuff my feet in my Docs, grab my phone, say bye to Mom, and I’m out of the house. My hair’s still half-wet when I climb inside the taxi.

It’s a little after four o’clock when I arrive at the Bangtan apartment.

I ring the doorbell with force, annoyed at being called out so late in the day. I listen for footsteps on the other side, and the turn of a key in the lock. And then they open the door.

“You made it!” says Jungkook, looking rather pleased with himself, “Come in!”

I stumble my way into the apartment, kicking off my boots at the door. The apartment is the same as ever, though today there’s a suspicious cupcake-like smell drifting from the kitchen.

“Mina, you came!” a female voice exclaims.

For a second, I’m terrified. What if it’s Nari?

But I smile when I realise who it is – Eun Ha. “You’re here as well?” I ask, greeting her with a brief hug the way girls tend to do.

Hoseok chortles with laughter. “Of course she is,” he says. “Taehyung insisted. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

Taehyung goes red in the corner, but gives a sheepish grin.

“So...” I trail off, “What was so important that you called me all the way here?”

Jimin holds up a box – one with a name that I recognise. “Surprise!” he says. “It’s Bangtan Fun Day.”

“Is that all?” I laugh.

And then I read the word on the box: Twister.

Twister is a game that haunts my childhood. You have to twist and turn to get the right hands and feet on the correct colour dots on the mat. And to do this, you have to be a very flexible person.

I am the least flexible person I have ever met.

So I stare at the box in disbelief. “You called me here for a game of Twister?”

“Yes!” says Taehyung, all hyped for the game as he grabs the box from Jimin.

“We ordered it from America,” says Hoseok, sitting on the arm of the sofa to watch us unbox it.

Suga appears from the bathroom, and looks at us all in surprise. “What’s going on?” he asks.

And without any warning, he’s dragged into a game of Twister, and so am I.

After much debate from all of the members, Eun Ha says, “Why don’t we split into teams?”

“Good idea!” says Taehyung immediately. “I’m with you.”

“Hey, we should do this fairly,” says Jimin. “How many of us are there?”

Jungkook counts us up, and then turns to yell into the kitchen. “Namjoon-hyung!”

“Yeah?”

“Are you and Jin-hyung playing?”

“No, we’re cooking!” Jin calls back.

“In that case,” says Jungkook, “I think we’ve got seven... I’ll referee and we’ll have teams of three.”

Jimin looks at the Taehyung-Eun Ha team and narrows his eyes. “Are you two good at this game?” he asks, looking determined to win.

“Pretty good,” Eun Ha replies modestly.

“I’ll go with you guys then,” Jimin decides.

“Which means Hobi-hyung, Yoongi-hyung, and Mina-ya are on the other team,” says Jungkook.

“We’ll still win,” says Hoseok confidently. “Can we just play now?”

So the game gets started. Eun Ha goes first and then it’s me, since the boys insist it’s ‘ladies first’. To start, the game is pretty easy – just one hand on a red circle. But it gets increasingly more difficult, and I strain to reach empty spaces.

Taehyung reaches over Eun Ha to get to a yellow circle, and then Hoseok puts Suga into the game, saying that he should go last.

“I’m the secret weapon,” Hoseok grins.

Jimin runs to the toilet before his turn, so Taehyung takes it for him. I expect him and Eun Ha to collapse, but they hold well, stifling giggles at the fact they’re all tangled up together.

Then it’s Suga’s turn again and he reaches his arm over me. Unfortunately, I get the impression that he’s just as flexible as I am.

Which means he slips at the effort.

And that means the only place he has to land... is on top of me.

The force of his body causes me to also collapse, winded. For a moment, I’m stunned into silence, and my mind is all jumbled as I try to process what happened.

I can hear Hoseok groaning in the back of my mind, complaining that we just cost him the game. “Guys!”

“Cupcakes are ready!” says Jin, probably coming from the kitchen.

“And I didn’t destroy them,” Namjoon adds proudly.

But I can’t think about the delicious smell of freshly baked cupcakes right now.

“Is it my turn yet?” Jimin’s voice asks from somewhere above me.

“We totally just won!” Taehyung declares.

In the corner of my eye, I can see Eun Ha and Taehyung laughing and collapsing in their victory, exchanging a congratulatory hug. Jimin hi-fives both of them. Hoseok continues to groan in frustration.

But I can’t think about any of that either.

At the moment, I’m a little too preoccupied with something else.

I swallow, part of me wondering why he hasn’t moved yet.

The other part of me is taking in the person who causes so many mixed emotions inside both my heart and my head. That person has a pair of strong hands, the smell of old coffee and the pair of blinking brown eyes that stare into mine. Only one word echoes in my mind...

Suga.

---

Notes

Hey everyone!

Yeah... I'm that person who leaves a cliffhanger and then doesn't update for a week...

But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was really fun to write, although kind of difficult. Please leave me a comment, and I'll be sure to update soon! :)

Lots of love,
asterisk xx