You Call Me Monster

Sehun rolled across the floor, his vision flickering as he tried to get back up. Chul kicked him in the ribs, knocking him back down. “I’d kill you, but I have a previous engagement,” he said, kicking him again before turning and going back into the courtroom. Sehun gasped for air, the room pitching like a ship in a storm. Someone stop him! he thought desperately.


******


Nari saw Chul reenter the room and she charged at him, letting out a yell as she barreled into him. They went down, struggling mightily against each other. He wrestled Nari onto her back and she saw recognition in his eyes. “Well, if it isn’t my loyal little lieutenant,” he rasped, smiling crookedly. Nari tried to strike him but he grabbed her wrist, forcing it back down. “Looks like you chose the wrong side,” he spat.

Nari bit him on the neck and he cursed loudly. Nari felt his grip weaken and she bucked her hips, knocking him off of her. She got to her feet and Chul grabbed her by the throat, lifting her into the air. “You never could pick your battles,” he snarled.


******


Baekhyun watched in horror as Chul tossed Nari aside like a rag doll. “We have to help her!” he yelled.

Chen dived behind a column, narrowly avoiding a shower of bullets. “There’s too many!” he yelled back, firing at the guards.

Baekhyun looked up at the officers massed around the judge’s bench and he grew desperate. He grabbed a grenade out of his jacket, pulled the pin, and threw it at the guards. “Get down!” he yelled, taking cover behind a bench.

The explosion was massive, bigger than even Baekhyun might have guessed. Baekhyun closed his eyes, grieved at the destruction he had wrought. He didn’t look as he got up and ran down the aisle to Nari.


******


Chen coughed, the dust from the explosion coating his lungs. Chul’s still going to kill the mayor, he realized. He ran down the side of the room, still coughing. He found the mayor already fighting Chul, trying to stave him off with a piece of wood. The mayor swung, missing Chul’s head by mere inches. Chul lifted a gun and Chen ran faster, trying to get close enough.

A shot rang out and everyone stopped, the room falling silent. Chul laughed, lowered his gun, and fell. Sehun stood behind him, gun in hand. Chen felt his knees give out and he sank to the floor, gasping for air.


******


Sehun tossed the gun away and walked over slowly. Chul was sprawled on the ground, his eyes staring and his lips curled in one final grin. A pool of blood was slowly growing around him, dark against the wooden floor.

Sehun gazed at him for a few moments, then looked up at Chen on the other side. Chen sat against the wall, his chest heaving deeply. Sehun looked around the destroyed courtroom, sunlight filtering through the dust and smoke. It’s over, he thought. It’s finally over.

The silence was broken by a sob, coming from the corner of the room. Xiumin noticed it first, hunting through the benches for the source. “Oh no,” he whispered, catching himself on the wall.

“Xiumin?” Sehun called. “What is it?”

Xiumin didn’t respond, tears spilling down his face. Sehun ran over, shoving aside benches and debris.

Baekhyun was sobbing on his knees, cradling Nari in his arms. “I saw him throw her, but I didn’t think-” he sobbed harder, his tears dripping onto Nari’s shirt.

All of the air left Sehun’s lungs and his heart skipped several beats. “Nari?” he whispered, kneeling beside her. He pushed her hair back from her face and shook her gently. “Nari,” he repeated.

“Sehun,” Chen said thickly, kneeling beside him. “She’s-”

“No, she’s not,” Sehun insisted, pulling her into his arms. She felt limp, like a discarded doll. Sehun put a hand on her face. “Nari,” he said, shaking her again. “It’s me, Sehun. I’m here.” He looked up at Baekhyun. “We’ve got to get her to a hospital.”

“Sehun, her neck is broken,” Baekhyun whispered. “She’s gone.”

Sehun looked back down at her, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “No, this isn’t right,” he whispered. “This isn’t how it was supposed to be.”

The others gathered around him slowly, Chanyeol dropping to his knees in anguish. Sehun traced the contours of Nari’s face: her forehead, her nose, her lips. She’s so beautiful, Sehun thought. She was covered with bruises and scrapes, but it didn’t matter. Her eyelashes were dark against her velvety skin and her pink lips were slightly parted. She seemed as if she would wake at any moment and look up at him with her big brown eyes.

Cradling her in his arms reminded him of stormy nights spent huddled under a blanket, breathlessly counting the seconds between the bright flashes of lightning and the grumbling thunder. Nari always wanted to climb into his lap and fall asleep against his chest, convinced that she was only safe in her brother’s arms.

Sehun held her close and wept.


******


Six months later


Sehun waited in the mayor’s office, staring out at the skyline. It was a perfect day, with a crisp blue sky and a warm breeze blowing through the city. The door opened and he turned around.

“Hello, Mr. Oh,” the mayor said, closing the door behind him. “Thank you for meeting me this afternoon.”

“Of course, sir,” Sehun murmured.

“I wanted to congratulate you on your success,” the mayor said, sitting at his desk. He gestured for Sehun to sit also. “You have weeded out Chul's network, and crime is at an all-time low. The city hasn’t been this safe in years.”

Sehun took the offered chair. “Thank you, sir.”

The mayor sat up and leaned on his desk. “I want to offer you a full-time position on my staff,” he announced. “I could use someone like you working beside me, and we need to keep this momentum going.”

Sehun looked down at the floor. “I’m honored, sir, but we had an agreement.”

The mayor sighed. “We did,” he admitted. “I just hoped that I might be able to change your mind.”

“It was your duty to try,” Sehun replied, getting up again.

“Won’t you at least think about it?” the mayor asked. “Consider Busan. Would you turn your back on your city?”

“I’ve never turned my back on them,” Sehun said sharply. “I spent years risking my life for them, fighting and murdering for them. I’ve given them everything, including my sister’s life. I owe them nothing now.”

The mayor nodded understandingly. “What about your men?” he asked. Sehun shrugged. “They can do what they want,” he said quietly. He walked over to the window, staring out into the distance. “They don’t owe me anything.”

“That I don’t believe,” the mayor replied. “Your men love you. They won’t just let you disappear.”

“My men have never disobeyed me,” Sehun said, glancing back at the mayor. “Even when it meant prison or death. Now... I just want them to move on.”

“At least say goodbye,” the mayor urged.

Sehun shook his head. “Goodbye, sir,” he said, leaving the room.


******


Sehun parked outside the hideout, pulling his helmet off carefully. It had been months since he’d been there, but he couldn’t leave the city without visiting it one last time. He walked up to the door and pulled a key out of his pocket, unlocking it quickly. The door swung in and he entered the hideout.

Everything was dark, the only light coming from the windows on the far side of the room. The furniture was all covered with ghostly white sheets. Mayor Park had given the building to Sehun after that last terrible day, one of his rewards for his ‘brave and honorable conduct’.

Sehun walked through each room slowly, four years of memories crashing down on him with each step. Sometimes he felt as though he would turn a corner and see Baekhyun making explosives, or Lay cleaning his guns. He stopped outside of Nari’s old room, hesitating on the threshold. He took a deep breath and opened the door slowly.

It was exactly the way she had left it. Her jacket hung on the back of her chair, and a tray of surgical equipment sat on her nightstand. Blueprints peeked out from underneath the bed, dusty and creased. He sat down on the bed, remembering that last night after Lay’s surgery.

“What’s the point of being successful if the city’s falling apart? This is where I can be the most useful. You’re a good big brother,” she said, planting a kiss on his forehead.

“I thought you might be here.”

Sehun started violently. “What are you doing here?” he growled, looking away.

Lay came in and sat beside him. “Today is six months since Nari died,” he said quietly. “I couldn’t imagine you being anywhere else.”

“Well I won’t be here for long,” Sehun said, getting up quickly.

“You’re leaving Busan then?” Lay asked, following him out.

“I have to,” Sehun said, swiping at his eyes. “I can’t stay here another second.”

“What about us?” Lay pressed. “You didn’t think we’d want to-”

“What?” Sehun demanded. “Say goodbye? Wish me luck?” He shook his head. “I don’t deserve it,” he muttered.

“We all lost her, Sehun,” Lay called. “But the rest of us are still here.” He put a hand on Sehun's shoulder. Sehun wrenched away savagely. “Leave me alone,” he snarled.

“Why can't you admit that you need us?” Lay demanded. “What makes you so hateful that you'd condemn yourself to suffering alone like this?”

“Because it-” Sehun stopped, his throat tightening.

“Because what?”

Sehun turned to face him. “Because it should’ve been me.”

He felt a tear fall and he looked away. “I started this,” he said quietly. “I would have laid down my life for it.” He looked up at Lay. “But not hers.”

Lay swallowed hard. “I know you loved her,” he said, “we all did. But her life belonged to her and no one else.” He took a step forward and put his arms around Sehun. Sehun returned the hug, more tears falling silently. For the first time in months he felt a measure of soothing calm, like salve on a deep wound.

They walked outside together and Sehun stopped, surprised. All of his men were waiting for him, leaning against cars or motorcycles. Suho smiled at him. “Awaiting your orders, sir,” he said, removing his sunglasses.

Sehun looked at each man in turn. “Looks like you've been keeping tabs on me,” he commented. Baekhyun grinned. “Old habits die hard,” he teased.

“We couldn't let you leave Busan without saying goodbye,” Chen said, folding his arms.

“What will you do?” D.O asked.

Sehun shrugged. “Go somewhere new, see what kind of life I can make for myself.” He looked around at his men. “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you for… for everything.”

“We’ll always be your men, sir,” Chanyeol said. “If you ever decide to come back, we'll be here.”

Lay held out Sehun's helmet, smiling at him. Sehun took it and hesitated, rubbing the smooth surface with his thumb. “For the last six months, all I've been able to think about is leaving,” he said. “I didn't think it would be this hard.” He sighed, one last tear racing down his cheek. “I'll come back someday,” he promised, pulling his helmet on. He got on his motorcycle and drove away, leaving his friends standing in the parking lot.

I will come back, he promised himself. One day.

Notes

Hello my faithful readers!

I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I have. It's been so much fun, and I've loved connecting with each of you throughout this journey. Your comments, votes and subscriptions brighten my day, and I loved hearing your thoughts after each update :) I hope you'll continue to follow my work and that it brings you joy.

I have another fanfic in progress called If You, a story about the members of BIGBANG and an unpredictable American writer.
You can check it out here:
http://www.kpopfanfiction.com/Story/87061/If-You/

Thank you, and God Bless :)