Paradise Lost

Hyunwoo wasn’t sure himself, why he just barged in. Actually he didn’t even want to be back home, not after... He shook his head, took a deep breath and reminded himself, that he needed to watch over his boys and hearing such harsh words from Hyungwon... no he couldn’t let that be.
“Stop it, Hyungwon. Just, shut up. Don’t give them shit for not killing somebody. And it will give us, you a break. They will have to find a new place to stay and we scared the hell out of them. They didn’t expect to be attacked in their own town. They probably will suit up for a fight, but not against us. They didn’t see Minhyuks, Hoseoks or Changkyuns faces. They will think it came from the outside... so will you please stop talking about dying? We need you, you’re our brother. Understand me?”
I’m so sorry... I didn’t want to hurt you all... I didn’t want to hurt anybody... I just
You just wanted to die
I’m so sorry Minhyuk... I shouldn’t have...
Yes, you shouldn’t have. But now you’re here. Standing. Breathing. Okay.
I’m not okay.
Nobody is.
...
Hyungwon... what’s wrong?
They all expected an answer, but that didn’t happen. With a sudden choking sound, Hyungwon clenched his chest, sank to his knees, desperately trying to breathe. The last thing he heard were the shocked screams of his brothers, before everything around him turned black once again.
*** *** ***
This time he woke up without any pain and that confused him. He did feel tired and not really healthy, but to be fair, when did anyone of them ever feel really good? With a little groan he slowly opened his eyes, just to find himself staring at a white ceiling. Nowthat was really confusing. Their home wasn’t really that what you would call a clean house – so he wasn’t at home. The next thing he noticed was the rare soft bed he was laying in. That these were the first things he became aware of was kind of ironic, considering, that a mask in his face helped him to pump air in his lungs and both of his hands were pierced with infusions. He wanted to panic, he wanted to run away, he was scared. And just before he wanted to give in to his fear a gentle voice reached his ears.
“Hyungwon, you’re awake.”
Still shaking he slowly tilted his head just to find himself lying next to one of his brothers.
“Kihyun? What are you doing here?”
The brown haired boy smiled softly, wheeling his wheelchair closer, trying not to just jump in to the bed, as he heard the broken voice of the younger one.
“Wrong question.What am I doing here you should ask... You’re in the hospital, Hyungwon. Since about two hours I guess. The others brought you and I swear they wanted to stay until you woke up, but I sent them home. They need some sleep and I may not be able to walk right at the moment, but I can still watch over you, right?”
Hyungwon wasn’t sure, if his Hyung knew, why he was here. That he tried to flee in the most cowardly way. He didn’t know, what he should say. But at least the fear had fallen off of him, now that he knew, where he was and didn’t have to lay here all alone. So he just slowly raised his hand, pulling off the mask strapped around his head.
“Hyungwon! What are you doing? The nurse will kill you if you destroy her work!”
The younger one just shrugged, slowly sitting up and mumbled:
“I don’t need it. I can breathe perfectly fine...”
“Hyungwon...”
“What?”
“They said... You told them you were coming to visit me but... instead they found you pumped up with all kinds of drugs... they said that...”
“No.”
He didn’t know, why he wanted to lie. A few hours back it didn’t matter to him, what others could think. It didn’t matter if he hurt his brothers with his actions and words. But now, after a short sleep and time to dream, think, he realised, that he couldn’t do that. Especially not to Kihyun.
“I didn’t try to kill myself, I swear.”
“But they said...”
“I was delusional and high, okay? I... I didn’t know what I was doing or saying.”
“You died.”
“So they told you? What Minhyuk...”
“Yes. We’re family, we don’t lie.”
“I’m... I’m sorry... I’m sorry that I got you all scared.”
“It’s okay... just... don’t ever to something so stupid ever again, okay? It wasn’t really nice watching the doctors save your life... You know considering you already died once. Fucking Zombie.”
“Kihyun!”
“What? I’m just saying the truth.”
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
Kihyun was happy, that he really did manage to put a sincere smile on Hyungwons face. Already opening his lips again, they were interrupted, as the door to their room opened and a young nurse peeked in.
“Chae-ssi. You have a visitor.”
The two boys shared a short glance, both holding back a laugh. It was awkward hearing someone addressing Hyungwon like that. And he wished, that Minhyuk would walk through that door. He needed to apologize – honestly. Now the guilt was coming up, guilt that his Hyung had to find him like that. Guilt that…
„Baksu!“

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A/N: hey there! I don’t know why I’m already posting the third chapter, well I guess I’m just having fun :3 but I would be very happy if some of you could tell me if it’s even good? ~~~~~ I’m quite insecure about this ~~~~~~ not even sure if I’m writing it understandable ~~~~~~
but a HUGE THANK YOU to those who already subscribed :3 I hope I won’t let you down ^^
^always happy about critics and feedbacks^
*mwhaa* lots of love ~agony

Notes