Finding My Way
The sun rises slowly, just underneath the buildings ahead of us. Though in the alleys of those buildings, sun rays escape, shining on the pavement.
“Jae.” Suga waves a hand in front of me and I blink twice. He grins and lowers his arm back to his side. “You spaced out for a second or two.”
“Oh… sorry.” I run a hand through my hair and fix my posture.
Suga puts an arm around my shoulder. “There’s a lot going on I’m guessing.”
“E-eo…” I peek at his hand that’s on my shoulder opposite from him. I return my gaze to the road ahead of us.
What was I thinking when I agreed to spend the morning with him? He heaves an awkward sigh and I can tell he’s trying to come up with something to say to break the silence.
“What do you want anyways.” I question, tilting my head to the sides which cracks my neck. “On top of that, why so early in the morning?”
He shrugs and scratches his nape. “I wanted to talk with you.”
‘With’ me? And not ‘To’ me…
“About what? What’s so important that has to be spoken about in the morning?” I stop walking and wait for him to follow. He stops with me, but doesn’t release his firm grip around my shoulder. “You said you couldn’t sleep last night and ended up coming all the way downtown. Just to come and talk with me at 6:05 in the morning.”
He stays silent, unsure of what to say.
“Tell me the truth.” I mutter. I turn my head and gaze at the building next to him, watching his next moves with the corner of my eye. “I’m sick of your games and your word play you use. I know your hiding things from me.”
It takes him a few seconds to comprehend my sentences.
“I like your presence.” Suga admits, plainly. “It’s a feeling I’ve never felt before. Last night, I couldn’t stop thinking about you… you can say I was so anxious to see you that I couldn’t wait for school. Taehyung would’ve scolded me there if I were to acknowledge you there.”
Taehyung. Last night I was with Taehyung. He confessed to me then. Is Suga… confessing to me now?
Slowly, my head adjusts to meet my eyes with his. He shifts our bodies to face one another, our chests almost pressed together. The hand that was around my shoulder now rests on my arm. The tip of the sun starts to show above the buildings, shining on our upper bodies. The rays blind my eyes and I shut them tight. He raises his hand and shades my eyes, blocking the sunlight. One after the other, I open my eyes to find him staring directly at me. His mint hair lights up and looks brighter than before. His brown eyes, are now hazel from the sunlight and his pale skin glows. It takes me a minute to realize my heart was beating faster and my skin was burning hot. It was a different feeling than being with Taehyung.
I sense him creeping towards me. Suga stops until we’re so close that I can feel his warm, sweet breath against my cheeks, my lips. Our eyes never leave each other. In a flash, he moves our positions with both hands on the sides of my arms. His is back faces the sun, protecting me from the brightness, our faces still in the same position. It sends me over the edge when he closes the last of the distance between us, taking his time. For some reason, my mind and my body disconnect. My mind wants to punch him in the face for coming close to me. My body… is attracted to him.
I feel his lips brush against mine and I hesitate, fluttering my eyes closed. His warm hand runs through my hair. “Something about you changed. I like it. Your more… curious. That’s the Jaemi I’ve always known.”
His body warmth fades away and I open to my eyes to find his face is no longer centimeters away from mine. However, our bodies are still against each other. ‘The Jaemi I’ve always known?’ What’s that supposed to mean?
For the first time, Suga smiles… cutely. He plants a soft kiss on my forehead before sticking his hands in his pockets and walking ahead of me. He turns back slightly, waiting for me to join him. “Let’s go and get breakfast. You must be starving.”
I take a deep breath before catching up to him. He’s- I’m… We…. I’m at loss for words. Speechless.
We enter a convenience store and buy ramen. I sit at a countertop on a stool and wait patiently for Suga to bring the two steaming bowls. He places one in front of me and hands me chopsticks. “Ah, ramen in the morning is the best.”
“Thank you for the breakfast.” I grin and take the lid off of the plastic, square bowl. We eat in silence, not wanting to be late for school.
“You know,” Suga says, chewing his noodles. “In the late nights, Jungkook would treat Jimin, Namjoon and I to ramen here. We sat in these four chairs.”
I look at the open seat next to me and one next to Suga. “Why are you telling me this?”
He stops in the middle of slurping a handful of noodles. He gazes at me before biting off the noodles with his teeth and swallowing. “I thought you’d want to know… why did I tell you that? Sorry.”
Suga scratches just below his jawline with one finger. I can’t help but grin at his response. “You know I feel like it’s an all-in-one package with you this morning.”
“What do you mean?” He questions, taking our empty bowls and throwing them into the trashcan. I stand up and put my backpack on.
“It was the first time I’ve seen you smile, grin, laugh and question yourself.” I nod in approval and smile. “Dork.”
“I’m human aren’t I?” He licks his lips, now stained orange from the flavoring of the ramen. “...And I’m not a dork.”
I grab a napkin and hand it out to him, attempting to resist laughing. “You have some sauce on your face…”
“Oh. Thanks.” He immediately takes the napkin and wipes his face clean. He drops his backpack on the chair and runs for the restroom. “Give me a second.”
I watch the ‘vacant’ sign on the bathroom door turn to ‘occupied” and I settle in the chair next to Suga’s bag. It tempts me. What’s in his bag?
I purse my lips as I try my best to unzip his backpack without making any noise. To my surprise, when I separated the zipper, it revealed nothing educational. Nothing school related. Just extra clothes, toothbrush, money, phone, phone charger, and… two train tickets?
I’ve never used tickets like these in Buncheon before…
I hear him flush the toilet before I’m able to read the tickets myself. I quickly zip his backpack and place it just as it was. I plop back, almost jolting, into my seat just as the occupied sign turns vacant and the door flies open.
In one move, he swings his backpack on, takes a hold of my hands and leads me out the door “Sorry for making you wait, we’re about ten minutes from school.”
We’re the first ones to arrive in our classroom and the windows are open, letting in a cooling breeze. As I settle down in my seat, Suga throws his bag in his chair and sits himself in Taehyung’s seat next to me.
“I’ve never came to school so early before.” He yawns. I nod my head and lean forward. I fold my arms together on my desk and use them as a pillow to rest my head. I rest on my side, facing and staring at Suga. For some reason, he’s peaceful. Everything is peaceful… too peaceful.
I feel his hand stroke my hair, and for some reason, it soothes me. The last thing I see is Suga’s bold eyes, softening as he stares at my small features on my face. Unexpectedly, I fall asleep.
“Jaemi… Jaemi.” Taehyung’s soft voice brings me back to my senses and I sit up straight. My eyelids open, lazily to find his small smile. He lets out a small laugh and caress’ my hair gently. “Where were you this morning?”
“Ah?” I scratch his head and brush off his hand. “Oh, I came here early.”
Taehyung scoots closer. “You could’ve asked me to come along.”
“I know. But I was with Sug-” I stop myself and forced a cough. “I mean, I just needed to talk to a few teachers. I didn’t want to be burdensome to you… or anyone.”
“Taehyung.” Hoseok calls from the classroom door. “Assistant principal wants to see you.”
There was a wave of “Ooh’s” around the classroom from those whose names I can’t remember. Irene, who sits at the front of the classroom turns her head. Taehyung and Irene make eye contact for few seconds. Did something happen between them? I don’t recall anything… Could it be during the times I’ve been working?
“I’ll be back.” Taehyung casually ruffles my hair and smiles at me.
As soon as Taehyung is out of sight, I turn to Suga to find him asleep. You said you didn’t sleep all night. And when school’s about to start, you can easily fall asleep. I find myself smiling stupidly at him sleeping.
Jimin comes into the classroom and sits in Taehyung’s seat. He taps my shoulder and immediately as I turn to face him, I’m pulled into his embrace. My fingers twitch from the sudden action and the class slowly falls silence as they notice. Confused, I wrap one arm halfway around him, letting my elbow hang. He puts his lips close to my ear, but doesn’t whisper. “Are you hurt? Where did you go? Hungry? Thirsty? You didn’t show up for breakfast. I was worried sick that something happened to you.”
Someone takes grasp, from behind, on my free hand and pulls me backwards to my face, out of Jimin’s embrace. My lips part and my head gazes at Suga, who holds my hand firmly. Jimin, Seokjin and Hoseok almost immediately stand up. I have to lean on Suga’s desk to refrain avoid falling over from Suga’s aggressiveness.
Jimin opens him mouth to speak. “Suga-”
“Suga, let go of me.” I shake my hand to release from his grasp, but he tightens his grip. I bite my lip from the pain and my fingers start to mesh together.
Suga goes in front of me, still holding my hand tight, back to Jimin, Hoseok and Seokjin. He puts his forehead against mine and looks down. I watch as tears fall from his eyes to the ground, a few landing on my shoes. “They took something of mine. He took someone of mine. Jimin took someone of mine. He and Jungkook. Someone I cherished with all of my life.”
“Suga…” I feel tears unwillingly sit at the bottom of my eyes.
“Now it’s my turn to take something away from them. Someone they love even more than themselves. Someone I love even more than myself.” I gaze at our combined hands, how his is shaking. “Their weakness.”
“Suga…” I attempt to push him back, but he holds my in place. He looks at me in the eyes and I see the last few drops of tears fall down his face as mine do.
“I’m sorry.” He strokes my hair once more with the smallest grin. In a flash, he brushes past Jimin, Seokjin and Hoseok, pulling me strongly behind me. They attempt to grab me into their hands and protections, but are stopped by Namjoon. The loud screams of Hoseok, Seokjin and especially, Jimin start to fade away as we go deeper into the hallways.
“Yoongi…” I say, trembling in fear. “Please, don’t do this…”
Where is he taking me? Don’t tell me those tickets I found in his backpack… we- I can’t leave Buncheon. Not like this. Not without Taehyung. Not with Suga. He sprints down the hall, forcing me to catch up with him. We suddenly stop at a corner of the corridor. He looks down the next hall and glances down, saying something under his breath.
“What now.” I pant heavily and bend down, gathering words to say out of my mouth. I walk out to see what he was looking at, but he blocks me. I’m starting to get impatient with this. “What is it, Suga?”
“If I show you, promise you’ll go with me somewhere. It won’t be long. I just want to surprise you with something.” He breathes, almost whispering.
Are you kidding me? What was all of that in the classroom? About a weakness? Am I the weakness? To Jimin and Jungkook? Is that what he thinks?
“Are you crazy?” I shake my head with disapproval and respond to him with a loud whisper. “I have to go to work later, and I’m certainly not going anywhere with you… why are we whispering?”
The sound of footsteps and a faint yelling of my name echo in the empty hallways. Suga curses to himself and starts to go on the move. “There’s no more time for decisions. Whether you like it or not, your coming with me. I’m not going to be the shoulder you cry on when you see this.”
We turn the corner and immediately as my eyes lay on Irene, who’s on her tippy toes to fix her lips on Taehyung. It’s like we’re running in slow motion as I watch this happen before me. Her arms wrap around his neck and his hands stay neatly in his pockets. Eyes open. Her back is facing us and Taehyung lifts his eyelids to meet mine. My heart sinks. Were the words he told me last night… fake? Or was I just dreaming...
I break our stare and feel my eyes sting as Suga looks back at me. He slows his pace once we're side to side with Taehyung and Irene. Taehyung’s gaze never leaves Suga’s hand that firmly grips mine. He pushes Irene off of him, gently, but strong.
“Jaemi.” Taehyung’s voice is soft approaching, but I shake my head and take a step back.
“Liar.” I glare at Irene, who blushes almost instantly and stares at the floor with embarrassment and guilt. I revert my eyes to Taehyung who’s almost balling with tears.
“Please…” He reaches a hand out to me. “I can explain… just don’t go anywhere- don’t trust Suga. Don’t leave me.”
My adrenaline boils with anger and I feel my skin burning hot. Tears stream down my stained cheeks, stains from when I previously cried with Suga in the classroom. I take one last glance at Taehyung with disapproval. “You don’t have to say anything. Disregard that, you have no right to stop me from going anywhere. I got the message. Jerk.”
I run ahead of Suga, pulling him behind me without looking back. He runs quicker, catching up to me. I wipe my remaining tears with my sleeve and we slow our pace once we’re about a mile away from school grounds.
“Where are we going?” I ask, my voice cracks as I try to regain my thoughts and take in the overwhelming events that happened moments ago.
NotesALOHA readers. *Does/Fails Hula Dance*
Why Hawaiian...? I don't know. BWAHHAHAHAHHA *coughs*
SO, this is a surprise chapter! WOOT. Okay, lol that was lame. But, um. I had this extra chapter written and I wanted to share it with y'all because I love you guys so much :D. I'll be updating EVERY Tuesday, but if I have any addition chapters in hand with me, I'll update them on various days. I'll try my best to keep you on your toes.
OKAY. SO getting to the chapter itself... it's pretty intense. I mean, a switch from Suga to Taehyung. I really want to know. Who are you guys rooting for? Because I like both characters equally. AND, the outcome of this story is really good. Trust me, you're going to love it.
No one's been commenting... I'M ALONE </3
Love you all ;)
See you in the next chapter.