The Wolf Within Us
Chapter 6: Tears
Chen’s POV
This is the end for me. The end of my career.
Never will I be able to sing.
Tears dripped down my trembling chin.
All this hard work...for nothing. All because of HER. All of this, was HER doing.
Moments Back “Chen Chen… Do you know how much I love you?” She whispered, her eyes filled with insanity.
I finally understand what fear is...What it truly means to fear for your very life.
What…
A psychopath really is.
“Open Wide, OPPA.” She hissed, opening my mouth and shoving a bottle of liquid down my throat.
I coughed, trying spit the liquid out, but her grip was strong, holding me in place. A piercing left me in shock, as she stabbed a needle in my arm.
What the hell is this woman thinking!? I struggled against her grip, gripping her neck.
“DON’T COME NEar me you monster!!” I screamed.
….My voice. What’s happening!? Why am I losing my voice?
She tried pushing my hand away, but my grip hardened around her throat. She wheezed gasping for air. Her face turned bright red, her eyes….WHAT!?
Her eyes, showed pure pleasure. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER!?
I desperately clawed at the back of her head, hoping to pull off her mask.
She chuckled. Her eyes shining, as she gagged out. “You don’t know what you’ve got yourself into….In fact, once you realize it, it will be too LATE."
THIS BITC-
I was cut off as someone else appeared behind her, kicking me in the stomach. The force of the kick sent me sprawled over the floor. My head rolling to the side. My vision wavered, revealing blotches. I crawled towards her, trying to stop her, from hurting the others.
Must stop her. Must protect them.
SHE snickered. Stepping on my outstretched fingers, twisting her shoes until blood marked my fingers.
“See you soon, Oppa. Tell the others, I’ll be back soon.~” She sneered, and with that, she disappeared, in an instant.
CRASH
The sound of Lay’s shoes echoed through the whole dorm. It was the first time I’ve heard the dorm this quiet. I chuckled to myself at the thought of my brothers, but quickly winced in pain.
Why does my throat suddenly feel so dry and sore? I clutched my throat, closing my eyes. What the hell did she shove down my throat? My eyes widened in fear and recognition. I turned quickly to my right, where the package was left. Beside it was a bottle and a needle. I grabbed it, reading the letters nervously.
Inhaled Corticosteroids. DO NOT OVERDOSE.
The liquid she chugged down my throat...was inhaled steroids for asthma. But why? I don’t have asthma. Odd. I looked at the needle, panic seizing me. Laxatives.
No. NO! My eyes closed, but I was still conscious. I heard Lay-hyung enter the room. His soft voice calling to me. I tried to answer, to reply. To reassure him that I am fine. Even if I wasn’t.
I tried moving my mouth, but it was paralyzed in place. The other members all came in, calling me. Begging me to answer.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered, begging for forgiveness, even when I knew that they couldn’t hear.
I sat in my hospital bed, the doctor looking at me with a troubled expression, as he double checked his clipboard. The door opened with a creak, revealing the worried faces of the other members. I smiled lightly at them as they approached at beside me.
“...Kim Jongdae-nim,” I looked up at the doctor's face. His eyes filled with pity and sympathy. “You have Laryngitis.”
“Lary-what?” The doctor looked away, suddenly interested in the floor.
“Laryngitis is an inflammation in you vocal chords from overuse, irritation or infection. In you case...” I glanced at Xiumin for support, who took my hand in his.
“....you have inhaled steroid medicine. Heartburn or acid reflux was triggered from this medication .” He continued. “Usually hoarseness of voice only lasts for 2 weeks, though if your voice continues to be raspy, you may lose your voice. Permanently.”
I dropped Xiumin’s hand. “W-what?.....My...voice?” I sat there in shock, staring at the doctor who couldn’t meet my eyes.
“Ne.”
Tears began filling my eyes. My voice. The reason I was able to stay with my brothers. All gone. All my hard work. Wasted.
I tried blinking my tears away, and put on a smile. The doctor left, feeling uncomfortable. “It’s okay.” I told them. “It’s only short-term.” I plastered on another smile.
“Hyung.” Our young maknae’s voice pierced my heart, triggering my tears, that fell swiftly down my face.
Until now, I held back my tears and smiled. Even at the toughest times, I had never cried out of pity for myself.
The tears that were trapped inside my heart began flooding out, just by hearing our maknae’s broken voice, ‘Hyung’. I cried silently, covering my face with my hands.
Will I never be able to sing with my brothers? It’s just temporary, right?
I cried harder at the thought of that. I knew that we wouldn’t stay together forever. There will be one day, where nobody will love us anymore. When we grew old. Fans will move onto supporting younger bands. Even if the attention isn’t forever, I’ll keep singing. I want to stay this way for life. With EXO. With my brothers.
I felt arms drape around my body. First Xiumin, then Suho, then the others, huddling together. We sat there together, comforting each other. For the first time, I realized how much I actually care about them.
Yes, before we were great friends, always looking after each other. But now, I realized how much closer we became.
We really are one.
I chuckled lightly at the thought, singing under my breath:
“I had a nightmare
Before I could hug you, who was crying
I woke up
With a sad heart, I opened the curtains
With my moonlight-stained tears, I send you a letter
Remember, when things were hard
I always turned your tears into smiles
Don’t cry in places without me, don’t cry
Because you always had a lot of tears.”
(From Exo My Turn to Cry.)
The others joined in with me, our voices becoming one. We swayed from side to side, smiling at each other, singing our parts together.
Our tears stopped.
If time had stopped there, I wouldn’t mind. Staying with my brothers, singing together, laughing together.
I just wished, that time had actually stopped, before all of us turned into a monster.
This is the end for me. The end of my career.
Never will I be able to sing.
Tears dripped down my trembling chin.
All this hard work...for nothing. All because of HER. All of this, was HER doing.
Moments Back “Chen Chen… Do you know how much I love you?” She whispered, her eyes filled with insanity.
I finally understand what fear is...What it truly means to fear for your very life.
What…
A psychopath really is.
“Open Wide, OPPA.” She hissed, opening my mouth and shoving a bottle of liquid down my throat.
I coughed, trying spit the liquid out, but her grip was strong, holding me in place. A piercing left me in shock, as she stabbed a needle in my arm.
What the hell is this woman thinking!? I struggled against her grip, gripping her neck.
“DON’T COME NEar me you monster!!” I screamed.
….My voice. What’s happening!? Why am I losing my voice?
She tried pushing my hand away, but my grip hardened around her throat. She wheezed gasping for air. Her face turned bright red, her eyes….WHAT!?
Her eyes, showed pure pleasure. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER!?
I desperately clawed at the back of her head, hoping to pull off her mask.
She chuckled. Her eyes shining, as she gagged out. “You don’t know what you’ve got yourself into….In fact, once you realize it, it will be too LATE."
THIS BITC-
I was cut off as someone else appeared behind her, kicking me in the stomach. The force of the kick sent me sprawled over the floor. My head rolling to the side. My vision wavered, revealing blotches. I crawled towards her, trying to stop her, from hurting the others.
Must stop her. Must protect them.
SHE snickered. Stepping on my outstretched fingers, twisting her shoes until blood marked my fingers.
“See you soon, Oppa. Tell the others, I’ll be back soon.~” She sneered, and with that, she disappeared, in an instant.
CRASH
The sound of Lay’s shoes echoed through the whole dorm. It was the first time I’ve heard the dorm this quiet. I chuckled to myself at the thought of my brothers, but quickly winced in pain.
Why does my throat suddenly feel so dry and sore? I clutched my throat, closing my eyes. What the hell did she shove down my throat? My eyes widened in fear and recognition. I turned quickly to my right, where the package was left. Beside it was a bottle and a needle. I grabbed it, reading the letters nervously.
Inhaled Corticosteroids. DO NOT OVERDOSE.
The liquid she chugged down my throat...was inhaled steroids for asthma. But why? I don’t have asthma. Odd. I looked at the needle, panic seizing me. Laxatives.
No. NO! My eyes closed, but I was still conscious. I heard Lay-hyung enter the room. His soft voice calling to me. I tried to answer, to reply. To reassure him that I am fine. Even if I wasn’t.
I tried moving my mouth, but it was paralyzed in place. The other members all came in, calling me. Begging me to answer.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered, begging for forgiveness, even when I knew that they couldn’t hear.
I sat in my hospital bed, the doctor looking at me with a troubled expression, as he double checked his clipboard. The door opened with a creak, revealing the worried faces of the other members. I smiled lightly at them as they approached at beside me.
“...Kim Jongdae-nim,” I looked up at the doctor's face. His eyes filled with pity and sympathy. “You have Laryngitis.”
“Lary-what?” The doctor looked away, suddenly interested in the floor.
“Laryngitis is an inflammation in you vocal chords from overuse, irritation or infection. In you case...” I glanced at Xiumin for support, who took my hand in his.
“....you have inhaled steroid medicine. Heartburn or acid reflux was triggered from this medication .” He continued. “Usually hoarseness of voice only lasts for 2 weeks, though if your voice continues to be raspy, you may lose your voice. Permanently.”
I dropped Xiumin’s hand. “W-what?.....My...voice?” I sat there in shock, staring at the doctor who couldn’t meet my eyes.
“Ne.”
Tears began filling my eyes. My voice. The reason I was able to stay with my brothers. All gone. All my hard work. Wasted.
I tried blinking my tears away, and put on a smile. The doctor left, feeling uncomfortable. “It’s okay.” I told them. “It’s only short-term.” I plastered on another smile.
“Hyung.” Our young maknae’s voice pierced my heart, triggering my tears, that fell swiftly down my face.
Until now, I held back my tears and smiled. Even at the toughest times, I had never cried out of pity for myself.
The tears that were trapped inside my heart began flooding out, just by hearing our maknae’s broken voice, ‘Hyung’. I cried silently, covering my face with my hands.
Will I never be able to sing with my brothers? It’s just temporary, right?
I cried harder at the thought of that. I knew that we wouldn’t stay together forever. There will be one day, where nobody will love us anymore. When we grew old. Fans will move onto supporting younger bands. Even if the attention isn’t forever, I’ll keep singing. I want to stay this way for life. With EXO. With my brothers.
I felt arms drape around my body. First Xiumin, then Suho, then the others, huddling together. We sat there together, comforting each other. For the first time, I realized how much I actually care about them.
Yes, before we were great friends, always looking after each other. But now, I realized how much closer we became.
We really are one.
I chuckled lightly at the thought, singing under my breath:
“I had a nightmare
Before I could hug you, who was crying
I woke up
With a sad heart, I opened the curtains
With my moonlight-stained tears, I send you a letter
Remember, when things were hard
I always turned your tears into smiles
Don’t cry in places without me, don’t cry
Because you always had a lot of tears.”
(From Exo My Turn to Cry.)
The others joined in with me, our voices becoming one. We swayed from side to side, smiling at each other, singing our parts together.
Our tears stopped.
If time had stopped there, I wouldn’t mind. Staying with my brothers, singing together, laughing together.
I just wished, that time had actually stopped, before all of us turned into a monster.
Notes
Author's Notes:Hiiiiii, I'm back. I had a test and didn't get to update, sorry.
I'll be back soon, in probably a week or so. Hope you enjoys this new chapter from Chen's POV. ^3^
@Waterdragon
Thank you so much!!! Hope you like my other story too~~ XD
Lol Hwaitting!
3/6/17