Xiumin’s POV

“Minseok, hey, pay attention!”

Our photographer was yelling at me again. I blinked and looked up from my spot, lowering my hand from my pose.

“You’ve been in the same position this whole time,” He said, his voice laced with annoyance. “What is up with you guys today?”

I looked at the ground apologetically and glanced over at the others. The nine members that had been at the airport earlier today all had the same look on their face. Their usual photogenic energy was nowhere to be seen and their eyes looked lifeless.

The members bowed their heads and muttered words of apology. Our photographer gave us one last frustrated look before sending us off on a short break. The minute we entered our private change room, the silence that loomed over us disappeared.

“What’s wrong with you guys,” Tao ran a hand through his hair and leaned on the wall. “You got us called out so many times.”

I exchanged a look with Luhan, but our eye contact did not last too long. He hasn’t spoken a word since the airport, but I don’t blame him.

Ling.

“Aish, it’s annoying.” Tao muttered and went to sit down at the far seat.

“What did you say?” Baekhyun straightened up and followed after him with his fists clenched at his side.

Tao smirked and looked away from him. Kai had to hold Baekhyun back before he pounced on him.

“You think you’re so good now, huh?” Baekhyun spat, fixing the collar of his shirt. “Now that you’re all rich and important in China.”

The room was silent and no one dared to say anything. It has been like this quite often lately. There was an undying tension between the members that left and the ones that stayed.

“Hyung, did you go and see Ling today?” Chanyeol pulled me aside while the other members started to converse amongst themselves.

I nodded and looked past him.

“Why do you care?” I said flatly. “Weren’t you loyal to Borin?”

He stared at the ground and started to fiddle with his fingers. “I-I haven’t heard from her in years.”

I bit my lip. In years, so, since Ling left for America.

And now that she’s back.

“Hyung, are you alright?”

I looked up at Chanyeol and realized that my vision was blurred. I ducked my head and maneuvered out of the change room, rubbing the back of my hand on my eye.

I remembered the look in Ling’s eyes when she saw me at the airport. It was the same as the way she looked at me the first time we met, foreign and envious. Gone was the warm glow she emitted when she looked at us and the bright smile she gave exclusively to me. She wouldn’t have remembered the time we spent together as lovers, nor the tears in her eyes as I told her my feelings for her before she left.

Now that she’s back, it’ll be as if she was never here, as if we were strangers.

-----
Ling’s POV

I stood outside Young Min’s office, waiting for him to invite me in. My heart was thumping loudly against my ribcage and my hands were cold in the pockets of my hoodie.

I never had the chance to actually meet Young Min in person. From what I’ve heard, he was quite a mysterious person, one who doesn’t meet with his workers if he could avoid it. I paced the floor, waiting, feeling chills run down my spine with nervousness.

“Ling?”

I looked up to see Young Min staring at me. He smiled warmly, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“Hello.” I bow my head as low as I could possibly go and he motions me into the room.

His office was dark and, if I could be completely honest, it was cold.

“Ling, how was your time in America?” He said, making himself comfortable in his chair.

“Good, thank you for giving me the opportunity to work there.” I bow my head again.

“No problem,” He beamed at me. “After meeting you at that coffee shop, signing you was probably the best thing I have ever done.”

I nodded my head, trying to remember the first time I met him. Another part of my forgotten memories, I guess.

“So anyways,” He sighed and reached over for a stash of paper. “Enough about the past, let’s look at your new placement.”
The past, huh?

“You’ll be doing the second season of Life with EXO as an MC.” He started to explain. “The process is pretty self-explanatory. There’s not really a script, so just feel comfortable while you live with them, yes?”

“Alright.” I nodded, taking a look at the stash of paper he handed me. It wasn’t anything I didn’t know about already from my temporary manager. “Thing is, if you don’t mind, could I look at the clips from the first sea-“

“No.” He bellowed.

I jumped at the sudden tone of his voice.

“No,” Young Min cleared his throat and continued with a softer voice. “I believe in your skills, I don’t want you to replicate the first season in any way.

But I was in the first season, wasn’t I.

Our meeting ended with Young Min’s words of encouragement. He sent me off to EXO’s dorm with a few words of warnings. One in particular stuck out in my mind.

‘Don’t get too close to the members.’

I stared out of the window as my manager talked on the phone in the front seat of the car. I was extremely nervous about working with the boys. Sure, they were my sunbaes in the entertainment business, but apart from that-

They were part of my forgotten memories.

When we arrived, my manager muttered a word of apology before leaving me on the doorstep of EXO’s dorm. I watch her drive off before returning my sight on the looming door of the small dorm.

I stood there, paralyzed with the thought of meeting the boys. Before I even took a step up the stairs, the door of the door slammed open and Baekhyun came running out to greet me.

He pulled me up the steps and into the dorm where all the lights were turned off. “Everyone is still on their schedules, so sorry that they aren’t here to greet you.”

I shook my head and followed him up the stairs to my room. “It's fine, you’re all busy.”

There was a moment of silence as we stood outside of my new room, staring at each other.

“D-do you re-“ His voice faded out, but I knew what he was going to ask.

I shook my head apologetically. “Sorry.”

His mouth twitched into a disappointed smile and he dropped his gaze. “That’s fine, I guess.”

He left me to unpack in my room alone. I felt a sudden guilt pierce my heart as the door behind me closed. Somehow, it felt as if I had forgotten much more than just my memories. It was as if I had forgotten my very identity with the members. I stood in the empty room, staring at the empty walls.

With a sigh, I started to unpack. It took a while, but eventually, I was satisfied with the way my new room looked. Just as I was about to leave, I spotted a small crumpled envelope in the corner of the room. I picked it up curiously and stared at the cover.

Borin.

It was written in my handwriting.

Had I ever written Borin a letter?

Before I had the chance to open it, a small knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I tossed the letter aside and opened the door cautiously. It was almost midnight and I was feeling quite exhausted to meet anyone else.

“Hey, sorry, did I wake you?” Sehun peaked his head in when I opened the door. I shook my head and let him in. He passed me a mug of hot chocolate and sat on my bed casually.

We may have met before, but I was definitely not comfortable with this.

He looked up at me with a grin. “How are you?”

“Fine, fine.” I sat at my desk and looked at him shyly.

We sat in an awkward silence until I had almost finished my drink. I snuck a glance at him to see that he was staring at me with an emotionless expression. Feeling embarrassed, I opened my mouth to say something, but he stood before I had the chance.

Without a word, he came over and leaned a hand on the table so that his face was just inches away from mine. I looked into his brown eyes and felt the color rise to my cheeks.

He’s attractive.

His hand came up and I flinched. He stroked the side of my neck and grasped the chain around my neck where two rings hang loosely. He looped his thumb through the bigger of the two and pulled it to his lips.

“This,” His voice was barely a whisper, and I could hear the small rasp at the base of his throat. “Do you remember where you got it?”

I blinked and shook my head apologetically. “I don’t know where either of these-“

“Really?” He furrowed his brows. “You really don’t remember?”

I shook my head and he straightened up, tilting his head in confusion. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

What doesn’t?

“That was from when you were an exchange student.” He ran a hand through his hair.

I froze and stared at Sehun’s frustrated figure. From when I was an exchange student?

Just how much of my memories have I forgotten?

He turned to me again, this time, I could see the visible pain in his eyes.

“I gave you that.” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “That ring, I gave it to you when you came to EXO’s fan signing.”

I didn’t know what to say so I just stared at him. He looked as if he was going to break down at any moment now and I had no idea why.

“I hope,” He paused and turned away from me. I heard him sniff back tears and suddenly, I felt my chest tighten. “I hope you remember soon.”

And with that, Sehun left my room without another word. I stared at the mug of hot chocolate on my desk, listening to the deafening silence in my room. Guilt rushed through me like a jolt of lightning and my heart started to race uncontrollably. I had to clench my fist to stop my hands from shaking, and even then, I could not stop the feeling of anxiety from building inside me. There was too much pressure on my past. I had forgotten things that were too important for me to forget.

Frustration took over me and a rush of tears streamed down my cheeks.

Everyone wants me to remember, but I’m not sure that I can.

Notes

Author's Notes:
It's a bit challenging to write the amount of frustration Ling is feeling, but it'll get easier as the story progresses. Please be a bit more patient for teh story to progress. Thanks for the support!

Thank you for reading, and as always, enjoy the story!