Ling's POV

The next morning, I woke up to the scuffle of the members as they got ready to go to their schedules. Not wanting to stand in their way, I leaned my back against the door of my room and listened to their conversations.

"Suho, do you have my pants?"

"The coffee Minseok, the coffee!"

"Where am I supposed to go?"

I chuckled at how un idol like the members were in real life. They were just like children, getting ready for a day of school.

About half an hour later, the dorm was silenced with the click of the front door. Slowly, I pushed open the door and peeked my head out.

"What is all this?!"

I jumped at the loud voice and almost tripped on my way down the stairs. I ran out into the living room to see Sehun standing in the middle of a clothes covered living room with his hands on his hip.

He turned when I drew nearer and his disgruntled face turned into a smile.

"Good morning Ling."

I nodded and picked up a nearby coat. "You too."

"No," he held me by the hand. "I'll clean it."

"No it's alright," I tried to shake out of his grip. "Really, let me help."

He narrowed his eyes then chuckled. "You're not going to take no for an answer are you."

I grinned and set to work. It didn't take long before the room was cleared of the mess the members made. Sehun smiled cheekily at the cameras around the room then complained loudly about how the maknae was mistreated. I could only laugh, as he went on and on about the different cases where he had to work more, of course, all for the sake of the show.

"We should go somewhere." He said, taking his spot next to me as we ate breakfast. "Back in the day, I could hardly bring you anywhere without the media following us, but now-"

He stopped short and stared hard at me. We locked eyes and let the silence fill our ears.

"What is it?" I asked finally.

"Your memories," His brows furrowed. "I shouldn't say too much."

I snickered. "Sehun, you're over thinking it."

He smiled shyly at me. I could see the concern creeping in his eyes and the hesitation in his expression. How uncomfortable the members who knew me previously must've felt, I have all experienced as if it were my own. It was the worst feeling of guilt.

I placed my hand on his back and leaned in closer to him. "I'm sorry."

There was a pause before he registered what I said.

"For what?"

"Not remembering, I know how awkward it must feel to have all our memories be one sided and-"

Sehun grabbed hold of my hand and enveloped them in warmth on his lap. "Ling, no one blames you for not remembering."

I smile weakly recalling the far away look all the members looked at me with when I approached them. "Right."

I made the mood darker than it needed to be. Sehun's breathing was shallow beside me and the warmth of his hands was almost suffocating. Slowly, I pulled my hand out of his and turned away to look at the door.

Now would be a great time for someone to come in and break this atmosphere.

No one came.

He stood up abruptly and I jumped. I looked at him only to see his face right above mine, our noses bumped into each other's.

"This is stupid," Sehun said quickly. "The two of us, we've never had this weird awkwardness.

The two of us were closer than siblings."

I raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Really."

His face flushed bright red and he minced his mouth into a thin line. "I-I'd like to think so."

I laughed and put a hand on his head, running my fingers through the brown complicated strands. "You're younger than me aren't you?"

His eyes widened and he blinked anxiously. "I-That doesn't matter! I don't care about that age stuff, I mean our ages are so close apart, there's still a chance that I-"

His voice faded out and he stared hard at me. He gulped loudly making his adams apple slide up his throat.

"What are you on about?" I narrowed my eyes at him and leaned back to get a better look at him. "Still a chance that you what?"

He straightened up. "Nothing, forget it."

I scoffed and stood up from my spot. "Let's go shopping."

He blinked at me.

"I want to make you guys dinner." I grinned. "A big one."

Sehun said nothing and bit his lip. I watched as his confused expression turned into a smile.

"Let's go then."

After grabbing our coats, he led me out the door with his hand around mine. I stared at his hand while we turned around the corner of the street.

Sehun has a girlfriend, don't think too much of it.

And yet, it felt like more, much more.

-----
Sehun's POV

The minute we went to the market, Ling's energy consumed mine. I watched as she jumped from store to store looking for the cheapest on ingredients.

Make us dinner hm? I smiled and stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Just like you did when you first moved into the dorm that year with Xiumin.

I chuckled as she started to complain to one of the shop owners about the prices for what looked like onions.

I should've told her that I have enough money.

"What do you like to eat anyways?" She asked with a smirk as we headed back to the dorm.

"Meat." I muttered, glancing around at the crowd that started to gather around us.

She frowned then looked at her shopping bags. "Did I buy enough? I knew I should've bought the big chunk."

"LINGHUN!" Someone in the crowd bellowed. "LINGHUN LOOK HERE!"

My heart almost jumped out of my chest as our ship name was yelled aloud. My face burned instantly from embarrassment and I ducked my head to hide it.

"Linghun?" Ling laughed almost hysterically. "What is that?"

"Baekhyun, fooling around." I muttered. "Remember how he had a fan account where he gets to chat with the fans more personally?"

I froze as I saw a blank look spread across her face. I always somehow end up mentioning the past.

"Yeah, okay, let's say I remember. Continue." Ling said with a smile.

I cleared my throat. "He found a ship community for the show. You wouldn't believe how enthusiastic those fans are. Linghun, Lingmin, Lingkai, he even made one for himself Baekling."

Ling howled with laughter as I finished off with the ship names. "Aw, those are cute. Which one is the most popular?"

"Last time he checked, Lingmin was first, then Linghun and then Linghan." I said, feeling quite proud of my second place.

"Ling-han?" Her voice was quiet.

I turned to look at her as we reached the dorm. Ling's brows were furrowed and her jaw was held in a firm line. She looked confused at the prospect that Linghan can even be a ship name.

I held her by the shoulders and stood in her way to the door. Her brown eyes looked up at me in surprise and I couldn't hold back from pressing my forehead against hers yet again.

"Don't look so depressed."

The feeling of her skin against mine was stimulating, making me shudder at the spine. My eyes searched for hers then fell down her cheeks towards her pink tender lips.

My mind went blank.

"Sehun, you have a girlfriend." She spoke as if she was out of breath.

"No, I-" I stopped myself before I said something I would regret.

She raised an eyebrow at me then pushed me back. "Know your boundaries as a man, Sehun. I don't care how close we are, you can not do stuff like this when you're dating someone else."

There was nothing I could say because I knew she was right. She pushed past me and headed back into the dorm. The scent of her hair still lingered around me.

Just like that? Am I just going to let her leave, just like that?

The door clicked close and I wished it hadn't. It was as if a wall slammed down between us, separating us both emotionally and physically. The wall that was Eunjae, my girlfriend. I felt my voice catch at my throat as I tried desperately to call her back, my hand fumbling with the lock.

"L-Ling!" I swung open the door to see her in front of the fridge with a popsicle in her mouth.

She turned around and looked at me in surprise. "Hmm?"

I rushed forward to stand in front of her. I could see her dimples blinking in her cheeks as she smiled with uncertainty.

This girl was my world. Her everything makes my head spin unlike any other girl I have ever met before. I studied her as she stared at me, waiting for me to say something. The way her hair falls down her shoulders, the way her long eye lashes curl slightly, the way her nose wrinkles when she smiles.

I want it all to be mine. It hasn't fully hit me just how much I've missed her these past few years, until now. I was always in denial about my feelings with Ling, explaining my incompetence with excuses like the hyungs should get her before me.

"Sehun." Ling's brows furrowed. Her hand moved to my face and she brushed away the tears that had fell down my face. "What's wrong?"

I grabbed her hand and pressed her palm against my cheek. Then, as swift as I could be, I pulled her into a tight embrace, locking her in my arms and in my heart.

"Sehun!" She gasped as I pressed my hand at the base of her neck and the base of her spine. I let the scent of her hair envelope my senses and lost myself in the feeling of her body against mine.

She didn't push me back.

"Ling, let me love you again," I huffed, almost suffocating from the pounding in my chest. "No, let me love you more than before."

Notes

just casually sliding in the ship names there

I CAN NOT TELL YOU i have so much planned for this story, there are so much twists that I have in stored but just... the motivation to write the beginning boring parts is just so .... non existant...

hoping it gets better!