Remembering Elizabeth (Featuring Suho and Sehun)

I hated the night. Even in a princess room, the night was full of terrors. I was tempted not to sleep but how long could that go on? My dreams were full of pain and fear but the worst part was that they weren’t just nonsense. They were memories. My mind could hide them from me when I was awake but in my sleep it was weak and the memories crept through the cracks to torture me. Like all dreams though, they were forgotten in the daylight. So many times I woke up screaming to see Sehun’s silhouette in the doorway. I felt horrible that I was causing trouble for him. The last time that I looked up and saw him there, watching over me and not knowing what to do, I decided that that was it. I was going to do whatever it took to stay awake. It would only be for a few days and then my sister would come to get me and I wouldn’t be Suho and Sehun’s problem anymore.

I was a little worried about meeting my sister. I couldn’t remember anything about her. Or any of my family for that matter. To be honest, I was anxious about going so far away from Suho. He’s the only one who’s really taken care of me since I woke up like this. Except Sehun, he’s the only one I’ve been able to trust.
When I fully woke up, Suho was placing another tray of food on the dresser. Just the sight of it made me want to vomit.
“Good morning Suho!” I wanted to sound cheery.
“Well, good morning sunshine!” said Suho turning around with a big smile.
“Can I ask you a favor?” I asked.
“What? So early in the morning?” He laughed. “Of course you can. Anything.”
“Can I eat breakfast in the dining room?”
“If you would like. I have something better though if you want to follow me,” he said picking up the tray. I loved how he always remembered to put a vase of flowers on the tray and I was always glad that they weren’t roses.
I jumped up and grabbed my robe and said, “What is it Suho? What? What?” I ran after him.
He was shaking his head and laughing at me. “Just come on and calm down.”
We went to the end of the hall and ended up in one of the beautiful sun rooms. It was a round glass room that was full of flowers and sunshine. We sat at a delicate glass table and Suho situated all of the food in front of me. My belly growled as I looked at the delicious dishes. I was famished. Running from demons all night made a girl hungry.
“Where’s Sehun? Isn’t he going to eat?” I asked.
“He’s sleeping in today. He’ll be down in a while.” Suho’s mouth turned into a straight line. I thought of how often I woke up to Sehun standing in the doorway and I knew he must be exhausted.
I noticed that Suho had no food. “Well, aren’t you going to eat with me?”
“I’m sorry. I would love to but I can’t. I have to go and listen to my boss yell for an hour.”
“What about? Is something wrong?” I was concerned.
“Nothing I can’t handle. He’s upset that I’ve taken you in. He thinks it’s bad press.” He looked at my frown and realized I was beginning to panic. “Don’t worry! I’ll set him straight.” He reached over and grabbed my hand and squeezed.
“I’m sorry I’ve caused you so much trouble Suho. Now you’re in trouble with your boss. You should have left me.” I wanted to cry.
“Stop that! You have brought nothing but joy to this house. Look at Sehun! He’s getting dressed, going out, eating! You’ve given him something to care about. He doesn’t brood half as much over his own problems now. Believe me, you’ve been lucky for us.” Suho always makes me feel better.
“You are so sweet to me Suho.” I squeezed his hand back.
“Well, I hate to but I better get going. I’m sorry you have to eat alone.” He stood up.
“I’m good. I’ll find something to do,” I said.
“You could twirl some more in the ballroom.”
My head shot up and my face turned as red as a cherry. Sehun!
“Oh my gosh! I can’t believe he told you about that!” I said.
Suho held his fist over his mouth as he laughed. “He said it was the best thing he’s seen in forever. He loved it. It was also the first time he had laughed since all of this started. See, you’re healing him without even trying. I’ve got to go. You have fun today.” He kissed the top of my head and then he was gone.
I don’t know why I was so hungry but I ate absolutely everything. I thought about licking the plate but I didn’t go that far. I didn’t know what else to do so I wandered into the mini-theater and watched a movie. When it was almost over, Sehun fell into the seat beside me and handed me a soda. Then he took it back from me and popped it open before handing it to me again. We watched the end together and then Suho came in.
“So, have you been fired?” asked Sehun as we watched Suho remove his coat and sit in front of us.
“Of course not. I put a big spin on the whole thing and told him that this actually makes Exo look good. We are the heroes. The white knights. We saved a damsel in distress.” He grinned at me. Oh I could just kiss that face!
“And that worked? How do you always make things work out the way you want them to?” asked Sehun.
“That’s why I’m the leader!” said Suho as he playfully ruffled Sehun’s hair. Sehun looked annoyed. “So, what are you two up to?”
“I was just about to ask Elizabeth if she wanted to get her butt kicked in a video game,” said Sehun. “Do you like to play?” He turned to me and raised his eyebrows.
I looked back and forth at them and said, “I don’t know.”
They looked at each other and then at me. We all burst out laughing at the same time.
“Well, let’s find out,” said Sehun, still laughing. He got up to get the controllers.
Suho sat back in his seat and put his feet up on the seat in front of him. “For all we know, she’s an expert. She might just be the one kicking butt Sehun.”
“God, I hope so! That would be awesome!” said Sehun from across the room as he messed around with the console.
I had become mesmerized with Suho’s feet. He wiggled them every now and then and for some reason, his feet in those little white socks were so enticing. I shook my head. What a weird thought.
Sehun sat back down beside me and handed me a controller. He showed me which buttons shoot and which ones run and some others that I knew I’d never use. I had a feeling I was a run and shoot kind of girl. He began clicking his own controller and I watched as things happened on the screen.
“I want to be Harvey,” I said.
Sehun stopped clicking and looked over at me. Suho also slowly turned around and looked at me.
“Who’s Harvey?” asked Sehun.
“The blue guy. I always play him,” I said.
Sehun and Suho looked at each other.
“Do you like to be Harvey? I can be the other man if it’s a big deal,” I said. I didn’t know why everything had gotten so tense.
“What’s the red man’s name?” asked Suho.
“I don’t know. He never told me. I don’t know if he even gave him a name.”
They kept looking back and forth at each other and then at me. Sehun was chewing his bottom lip.
“Who never told you?” asked Suho.
I started to speak but all of a sudden, a pain crossed from one of my ears to the other. I grabbed my head but I couldn’t stop it. I know I screamed but I couldn’t hear it. I just felt it. Images of being in bed with the man from the apartment began to flash before me. We were also playing this game and then I had an image of him under the blankets and my controller falling to the floor. The images began flipping from one to another faster and faster like channels changing very quickly. Sexual images. Me and the man in the bed, on the couch, in the bathtub. Pink rose petals, chains, a whip, pink champagne. Kisses and touches that I could feel. Pain inside and out that I could feel. Drowning in black satin. I felt myself screaming and screaming but I had no control of it.
The images began to fade. So did the pain. When I came back to myself, I was curled into a ball on the ground and Sehun was covering me. He was yelling in a panicked voice, “What do I do Junie? I don’t know what to do. Help her. What do I do?”
My face was wet. Sweat and tears. I looked up at Sehun and touched his face. It was wet too. Now I’ve made Sehun cry. I shut my eyes as I tried to wipe his tears.
Suho came over and pulled Sehun away which wasn’t easy. He sat down and pulled me into his lap. He rocked me back and forth.
I looked up into his face. He was as white as a ghost. “What happened Suho?” I asked.
I felt Sehun collapse into the seat beside us. He was shaking and I knew he was crying.
“It’s alright. I think you were beginning to remember something.” He stopped rocking and wiped my face with the cuff of his sleeve.
“Did I tell you anything? I don’t remember it now. Did I say something?” I couldn’t remember anything from the past few moments.
“No. You didn’t say anything,” Suho was breathing hard and his words came out in a whisper. I could tell he was trying not to cry.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make things bad. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” I wished they had left me where I was. Then I couldn’t hurt them.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. It isn’t your fault. Would you like to go lay down?” asked Suho.
“No. I feel fine now.” I did. I didn’t feel like anything had just happened. “Can we still play the game?”
Suho looked at me and frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. In fact, let’s get out of here.” He stood up and took me with him. He held out his hand to Sehun. Sehun hung his head for a minute and without looking up, he took it. Suho helped him up. We left the theater, the darkness, and the bad things that had just happened.
It was weird. I felt completely normal. Like nothing had happened at all. My throat felt a little scratchy from screaming but I had no other after effects. Sehun turned and went up the stairs as Suho led me to the kitchen. I loved this kitchen. It was very homey compared to the rest of the house. It was big and expensive yes, but it was welcoming too. It was all dark wood floors and counters with white cabinets and appliances. I didn’t know if I could cook or bake but I would love to try in this kitchen. Suho sat me in a chair and gave me a bottle of water from the refrigerator. I noticed that he had gotten something a lot stronger for himself.
“I’m sorry Suho. I didn’t know that was going to happen,” I said.
He took a long drink from the green bottle and then watched the suds slide back down the sides. “You don’t have to be sorry. Please stop saying that.”
“I’m…” I caught myself just in time. I couldn’t do anything right.
“Are you alright? You don’t hurt anywhere?”
“No. I’m fine. Can I go to my room now?” I asked.
He took another drink and watched me over the bottle. “Why?”
“I think it’s best if I just stay there from now on. My sister will be here soon and I’ll be out of your hair for good. I won’t be able to hurt you anymore.”
He sat the empty bottle down hard and the table vibrated. “Listen to me. This is the last time I will say this. You. Don’t. Hurt. Anyone. You are the one that has been hurt. It’s scary to see you go through this but there is no way in hell we are going to let you go through it alone. Do you hear me? That would make us monsters. Not men. We are strong. We can take it. Yes, even Sehun.”
“He was so upset,” I said.
“He will be fine. He just needs to calm down for a few minutes and he’ll be alright. Sehun is the kind of man who needs to work things out for himself. If you say you want to stay away from him you will hurt his pride. He’ll think you see him as a weak man who can’t handle this. He isn’t”
“I didn’t mean that at all! He doesn’t think that does he?” That was the last thing I wanted.
Suho got another bottle from the refrigerator. “No. He doesn’t. Take this up to him. I believe you’ll find him in the music room.” He handed me the bottle.
“How do you know that?” I asked as I stood up to go.
“I know that kid! He always goes there when he’s upset.”
I turned to go and then thought of something. I walked over and kissed Suho on the top of his head. He smiled and then laughed. I walked to the doorway and remembered something else. I turned back to Suho and asked, “How do I get to the music room again?” We both laughed at that.
The door was open and when I walked in, Sehun was laying across three chairs against the wall with his arm over his eyes. I didn’t want to startle him so I stepped back and knocked. He instantly jumped up with a startled look on his face. See. I can’t do anything right.
He reached me in three strides and pulled me into a tight hug. I almost dropped the bottle. “Oh my God. Are you alright? Are you hurt?”
I felt like I was being crushed. “No, I’m good. I’m okay Sehun. Sehun!”
He let go but held onto my sleeve. He looked me up and down and seeing that I really was okay, he visibly relaxed a little. “Come over here and sit down.” He pulled me to the chairs.
“Here. Suho said you needed this.” I handed him the bottle.
He smiled as he opened it and too a long drink. “I’ll bet he didn’t give you any did he?” he asked.
“Nope. I had water.”
“Here, have a drink.” He handed me the bottle.
I took a drink. It was really good. It burned a little going down but I liked it. It was a good burn. “Can I ask you something and get an honest answer?”
“You know you can.” He took the bottle and took another drink.
“What happened to me in there? I mean, what did I do?”
A solemn look came over Sehun’s face. He swirled the liquid around in the bottle. “I think you started remembering something about that game. I think you played it while you were a prisoner and it triggered some memories.”
“What happened then? What exactly did I do?”
“First you grabbed your head and you started screaming. Then you threw yourself back and slid into the floor. You started screaming words and curled up into a ball on the floor.” He drank the rest of the burning liquid.
“What did I say?” I asked.
Sehun looked uncomfortable. He looked up at the ceiling and swept his hair from his eyes. “Uh, well, you said “Please don’t hurt me anymore” and “I can’t breathe” and some other stuff I can’t remember.” He chewed his lip.
I knew he remembered but I didn’t press it.
“I’m sorry that happened Sehun. I never meant to scare you.”
“What? You didn’t do it! That monster that did this to you did it! You have nothing to be sorry for.” He was looking at me but I couldn’t look back. I didn’t want to see what might be in his eyes. “Do you really not remember anything? Not his face or his name?” He asked.
“I really don’t. And I don’t know if I want to.”
We sat quiet for a few minutes and then I decided it was time to go ahead and ask. “Sehun? What happened to you?”
“Huh?” He looked genuinely confused.
“Suho said that you were going through something but he wouldn’t say what.”
“Oh that. I was in a car accident and hurt my back and my knee. The doctor said I may not be able to dance again.”
“You don’t seem hurt. You don’t even limp. Maybe it’s healed,” I said.
“Nah. It wasn’t that long ago. It only hurts when I move certain ways and unfortunately that’s when I dance. I am supposed to start physical therapy as soon as it’s well enough to work it. I’m part of the reason we took an early hiatus and while everyone else is out there doing solo stuff, I’m stuck here. If I don’t get well, that’s the end of my career with Exo.”
“Well, don’t you sing? Can’t you still sing with the group?” I asked.
“It doesn’t really work that way. And actually I’m a rapper. But mostly I’m a dancer and if I can’t do that, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“I would love to see you dance. I wish I was going to be here long enough,” I said.
“If I dance again,” he said.
“You will. I have a feeling you don’t let anything stop you from getting what you want,” I said.
“That’s Junie.”
I knocked my shoulder into him. He gave me a look. After a few seconds he knocked me back. I put my arm through his and put my chin on his shoulder so that I could whisper into his ear.
“You will dance again Sehun. And you will invite me to one of your concerts and you will get me a seat in the front,” I whispered.
He grinned really big at that. I placed a quick kiss on his cheek and laid my head on his shoulder.
That night after the maid had shut my door and Sehun opened it again and said goodnight, I struggled to stay awake. I was determined not to give Sehun another bad night. I tried to read. That made me sleepy. I had some tea. That made it worse. I stayed away from the bed and sat on the couch. I found the television that was hidden in the coffee table. There was a remote there with no purpose so I hit buttons to see what would happen and what happened was a tv rose up out of the table! It was great! I watched a few shows and yawned through them until I slipped off to sleep before I knew my eyes were even closed. It wasn’t long before I was screaming myself awake. I woke up on the floor. This time, Sehun was standing over me. He picked me up and carried me to the bed. He tucked me in, moving my hair out of my face before leaving and cutting off the light. I still had the bad dreams but each time I woke up to Sehun sitting by me, stroking my hair or my head or my face. It calmed me instantly and I went right back to sleep. In a few days I wouldn’t have Sehun across the hall to watch over me. What would become of me then?

Notes