Chapter 23

BEEP… BEEP… BEEP… BEEP…
The incessant beeping was driving me INSANE! Not to mention all of the mumbly little noises beyond it that I couldn’t quite make out. My head had a constant dull ache and my eyelids felt like they were glued to my face. No matter how I tried, I could NOT lift them. As a matter of fact, my entire body felt like it was weighted down with cinder blocks. I couldn’t even move my fingers. My skin felt tingly and itchy and I couldn’t scratch it.
I had an overall feeling of annoyance that was growing with each passing moment. What in the HELL happened to me?

After drifting in and out of sleep for God only knows how long, I woke to hear voices around me. Some were across the room but some were quite close and one in particular was right next to me. His soft voice was so familiar, and I could call up a beautiful face to go with it, but his name was completely allusive.
Listening to him whispering in my ear was calming. He would say things like, “I miss you every day,” “Please wake up,” “Jun couldn’t make it today, but he sent flowers.” Who’s June? Isn’t June a womans name?
I wanted to talk to him. I tried my best. The words were right there in my brain and my brain was sending them to my mouth but my mouth was being a little bitch and ignoring all of them. I could even feel my mouth forming the words but it wasn’t really. It was just like the rest of my body. Useless.
Oh my gosh! Am I a vegetable? Am I trapped in my body? Will I be stuck here forever drowning in thoughts that I can never speak? I would rather be dead!!!
I started to cry. At least I knew my tear ducts worked because I could feel hot tears rolling down my cheeks and tickling the corners of my mouth. A tickle that I couldn’t scratch and a mouth that was betraying me.
All of a sudden, the voice that had been so sweetly whispering to me just a second ago became frantic and started yelling to whoever was in the room with him.
“HEY! She’s crying!” Then the rest of the words were either in a panicked language that I didn’t speak or I had just lost function in the language part of my brain. All of the voices were freaking out in the same language. Then I heard, “Get the doctor!” so I knew that I still understood English.
It was also confirmed that I was in a hospital. I had already figured that part out, but it was nice to know for sure.
Lots of noise, talking, metallic noises, and then touching. Hands laid on my legs and my arms and pushing back my hair.
I could feel my eyelids being pulled open, but I couldn’t see. Please God, don’t let me be blind.
There was a lot of chattering back and forth and I have no idea what anyone was saying. It went on for a long time. Then I felt kisses on my forehead and heard the people that had been there begin to leave the room. This really bothered me for some reason. I had felt comforted by the strangers that surrounded me. It felt less lonely. Now only the aggravating beeps were left to keep me company.
Then, “I know you can hear me. I know it. I know it in my heart. And I know you are coming back to me. We have a very long life to live together. I can’t stand sleeping in that silly pink bed by myself anymore. I would climb in this bed with you and stay here if they would let me. I tried. They kicked me out after two days. Maybe you remember that too, but that was awhile ago. I don’t know if you could hear me then. Or when you could, but I know now for sure that you can. That was the first time I was actually happy to see you cry.” He moved away from me for a moment and I felt the air grow colder in the space where he had been. Just as suddenly as he was gone, he was back and wiping my face with a cool cloth. It felt wonderful.
“I have so much to tell you. I’m getting really anxious about leaving you here alone when we go on tour. They kept telling me that you wouldn’t know the difference, and it would be like it never happened for you because you weren’t aware, but I never believed that. And now that you have shown a sign of improvement, I know I was right. So you have to wake up before the end of the month or I’m going to have to break my contract and not go. Can you imagine the conniption that Jun would have about that?” He laughed softly. Then he was quiet for a while as he held my hand against his forehead. His skin was warm. Every now and then he would sigh, and I could tell he was trying so hard not to lose hope.
His hand went to my belly which felt odd for some reason. He rubbed back and forth and back and forth and then he stopped and I felt something move. Not his hand. Something inside of me. Something inside of me moved. I started to panic. What in the hell was that? I kept imagining that scary thing from the movie Alien bursting through my stomach and attacking Sehun’s face.
SEHUN! That’s his name!!!
“The baby is awake,” he said.
BABY? What baby? I was freaking out!
He started to rub again and when the thing inside of me moved he would stop and just feel it moving around.
“What are you doing, Sehun?” I tried to yell at him. Nothing came out of my mouth of course. “There is something in my body! Get the doctors! Get it out!” Still nothing. I tried to kick. I tried to reach out to him. I tried to move my head and sit up. Nothing.
After a few long minutes of panic, I began to accept the fact that I had a baby growing inside of me. I wish I could remember what had happened to me. Or anything. It seemed that my brain was feeding memories to me bit by bit. And not in any particular order. Now I could remember Sehun but not how we know each other. I just know that he is very important to me. Maybe it’s his baby? Maybe we are married?
All of this fighting I was doing was exhausting. Sehun laid his head on my shoulder, and I became very sleepy and drifted off.

When I woke up again I felt much better. I knew I was alone though, which was disappointing. The T.V. was on, but it wasn’t the same. I laid there and just listened for awhile. Then, I decided it was time to begin some exercises. I had to make something happen. Some part of my body was going to move today. My brain was stubborn apparently. It just didn’t realize that it got that stubbornness from me. I was going to out-stubborn my own brain. It belonged to me after all! It does what I say! I’m sick and tired of being a prisoner. With that thought, a flash of something came to me. An image of my ankle with a chain wrapped around it. Then another image of a little gold key on a necklace. And then… a flood of images attacked me. I couldn’t concentrate on any one in particular but they just kept coming and coming until my head burned like a red hot poker and I wanted to scream. And then I did. And my mouth obeyed.

I felt pain flood my body. It felt like electricity was running through my veins. My body began to convulse and thrash and, finally, my eyes flew open and I could see! Doctors and nurses ran into the room and began quickly yelling at each other in Korean. They tried to hold me down, and I almost couldn’t stand it. As much pain as I was in, I didn’t want to be held down anymore. Everything was coming back to me. EVERYTHING.

It felt like a lifetime passed. The pain began to subside and the electricity calmed down. I was left feeling like a rung out washcloth. I had control of my body again and it was a much weaker body than when I had taken my siesta. Raising any part of my body felt like lifting an elephant, and I could only imagine that my muscles had to have atrophied. For the first time in over a year, I remembered everything. I couldn’t work out how I felt about it all though. It was a LOT to take in. I think I preferred not knowing.
Looking down at my huge tummy, I wondered who was in there. There was no way around the fact that this baby had to belong to Park Kyung. Sehun couldn’t medically have children, which only left the one terrible option. I also didn’t know what had become of Kyung. The last memory I had of him was of us standing in the middle of the ballroom. Chaos was happening everywhere. People were screaming. Sehun was screaming. I remember guns and cameras and microphones. I remember blood and flowers and a shattered crystal chandelier. And then the last thing I remember was being stabbed in the back and the image of blood appearing on the side of Park Kyung’s stunned face. Did he die? Did he survive? Is he in prison? Was he aware that he was going to be a father? Would he be able to get to me now that everyone knows what he is?
I couldn’t help but think of the ball. It was supposed to be the happiest night of my life. It turned into my worst nightmare. That had to have been when I got pregnant. By the size of my stomach, quite a bit of time must have passed. Six months? Eight? Am I going to go into labor any day now? This isn’t fair! Oh my God! What am I going to do? I’m going to be a mother. Should I give this baby away? Should I keep it? Could I raise a baby created from hate that would remind me of that night every time I looked into it’s face? Would it look like Kyung? Would it have his pretty curly lips or his soft eyes? Or his insanity? God help me, I don’t think I can keep it.
My head began to hurt again. I had so many questions and no one to answer them. Where was Sehun? Where was Suho? Hadn’t the nurses called them? It had been hours since I had come out of my coma. No one understood a word I was saying and it was frustrating as hell! A tiny little girl with a water pitcher came in then.
“Hello. Do you speak English? Please say yes,” I asked
She looked at me cautiously. She nodded. “A little.”
“Do you know when my friends will come to see me?”
She shook her head, and looking down at her feet she said a little sadly, “They cannot until tomorrow.”
“What?” I said a little too forcefully scaring the timid girl.
She started to leave.
“No, wait! I’m sorry. Why can’t they come now? I need to see them!”
“Doctors say too soon. You are weak.”
“I need to see them now. Can you ask them to come for me? Or get me a phone?” I asked hopefully.
She looked conflicted. She looked at me. She looked out the door. She looked like she wanted to escape. Then she walked back over to the bed. Whispering, she said, “Exo are here.”
“Here? In the hospital?” I asked.
The little head nodded vigorously. “So angry. Loud and scary.”
They must have been angry when they showed up and were told they couldn’t come in until tomorrow. I’m angry myself.
“Can I ask a huge favor of you?” I asked.
She stared at me.
“Will you take me to them?”
She still stared at me.
“Please?”
Finally, she said, “How can I?”
“In a wheelchair,” I said.
Her straight black hair flung around her face as she shook her head quickly. “All the trouble for me. Please don’t ask it.”
“Okay. Okay,” I said before her head fell off. “Can you at least tell me exactly where they are right now?”
I could tell that she really didn’t want to. She kept looking out the door as if a doctor was going to run in at any moment and beat her to the ground.
She cupped her hands around her mouth and right up against my ear she whispered, “All the way down the hall. Waiting room at the end. So many cameras and people. Impossible.” Then she ran out of the room.
“Impossible my ass,” I said as I forced myself into a sitting position.

I honestly didn’t think my legs would hold me up, and I still had reservations about it as I stood there because they were so wobbly. Not to mention the weight difference in the front. There was pain but not as much as I had anticipated. There must have been some pain medication in my I.V. Thank goodness for the I.V. pole. I found that I could lean on it, which helped a lot with walking. My legs were so heavy. All I could manage were small steps.
As I walked by a window, I could see my reflection and YIKES! Someone had combed my hair but my face looked like a scarecrow. And my tummy looked so much bigger than it felt. Oh well. I’m sure I’ve looked worse. Haven’t I?
I stuck my head out of the door a little to figure out which direction I should go in. It was obvious as soon as I looked left and saw a mile long hall with a bizillion reporters at the end. I also had to pass a busy nurses station. I watched for a few minutes to get an idea of my chances of making it to my destination. When I saw another person pushing an I.V. pole around I thought that maybe my chances were pretty good. If I keep my head down and stick to the wall, I don’t think they will notice me. They aren’t expecting me to be out of bed either. I don’t think they believe I can get out of bed. Maybe I shouldn’t be able to. Maybe I died and now I’m a ghost haunting the hospital. That would be my luck. I laughed at myself.
Making my move, I scuttled down the hall with tiny little steps. I began to feel dizzy as I got to the nurses station, and I started to think maybe I had overestimated my abilities. I stopped and held onto the I.V. pole for a moment. I looked up and saw a nurse look my way so I began scuttling again. The dizziness got worse. My legs started to feel heavier and the hall looked as if it were growing longer. Dammit Elizabeth! Sehun is at the end of that hall. You will not pass out! And if you start going down, you better find your loud voice and yell his name as loud as you can! I picked my feet up and found the strength to move faster.
Almost there. Almost there. Almost there. I chanted these words to myself almost like a military march as I got close enough to see the reporters faces. They were starting to notice me too. Then I heard an alarm going off behind me and a small panic of some kind was occurring at the nurses station. I kept my focus. The ruckus behind me grew louder. The reporters were beginning to pay a lot of attention to what was going on behind me. Then miracle of miracles, Suho poked his head out of the door of the waiting room. He didn’t see me at first because he was focused on what was going on behind me. I had no doubt that the craziness behind me also had something to do with me. Or, rather, the absence of me. Then he saw me and the look on his face was priceless. His mouth made a perfect O as he recognized me and dropped the coffee he had been holding. It seemed like he moved in slow motion as he pushed a reporter out of the way so that he could get to me. I heard him yell Sehun’s name as he got to me and put his arms around me. Always my savior, I thought as I smiled and leaned into him. Immediately I got a breath of his familiar cologne and I felt like I was safe and at home.
I didn’t realize I had started crying until I pulled away from Suho’s chest and I saw the dark tear stains on his wine colored shirt. I began to laugh through my tears when Suho scolded me.
“What in the hell do you think you are doing out of bed? You are trying to kill me woman! Why are you laughing? We are going to have a serious talk later!” Suho was furious but he couldn’t help but to start laughing when he looked into my face, and that made me laugh harder. It was laughter borne from severe stress.
He helped me into a wheelchair that a nurse had hurriedly brought for me. It was a good thing too because I was at the end of my ambitious strength. I didn’t even know how much longer I could hold my head up. Then I saw him. HIM. He was standing behind Suho with his hands in his hair and the most strained look I have ever seen on his beautiful face. Everything else began to melt away when he made eye contact with me. I didn’t hear Suho anymore or see the reporters flashing pictures and yelling questions. All I saw was Sehun. All I wanted was Sehun. All that mattered was Sehun.
I was being pulled backwards away from my boys and panic began to rise inside of me. I watched as guards blocked them from following me and I was getting farther from them. OH HELL NO!
I dug my heels into the floor and propelled myself forward. I fell onto the floor, ripping the I.V. out of my arm, and hitting my head. That pretty much did me in. The last thing I saw before my eyes closed and blackness covered me was Sehun punching a security guard in the face and running towards me. That’s my Sehun. Then I was out.

Waking up once again with a headache, I reached up to touch the place where my head hit the wall. A larger hand grabbed mine and stopped me before I could touch it. I opened my eyes and the third miracle of the day was smiling down at me. “Don’t touch that,” he said with the voice that a father would use with a small child. Finally, I was with my Sehun.
“I love you,” I said. I wanted that to be the first thing he heard from me. Every day if I had my way.
His face lit up and he graced me with the biggest smile that I can only describe as being pure sunshine. “I love you too, sweetheart!” He kissed me gently.
“Can I have some water?” I asked. My mouth felt like I had eaten sand.
Sehun jumped up and grabbed a cup of water that had a comically big straw in it. He held it for me to drink and I drank the entire glass.
“Where is Suho?” I asked.
Sehun laughed a little and said, “Well, that’s funny actually. He, um, he is in jail.”
“What?” I practically yelled as I sat up as much as I could. “But why? Is it my fault?”
“No, no, no. It’s ok. He sort of hit a guard. And a reporter. Aaaand a doctor.” Sehun was full out laughing now.
“Sehun! This isn’t funny. It IS my fault. We need to do something!” I was sick to my stomach.
Filling up my cup again, Sehun continued to laugh and said, “You should have seen it. I’ve never seen him that mad. Trust me… don’t ever push Jun past his limit. He’s short but he’s feisty. Oh, and I’m under arrest too.” Sehun couldn’t hold back any longer and bowed over with laughter.
“WAIT! WHAT??” I almost couldn’t take anymore. “How are you here?”
“Jun is a very persuasive person when he has all of his faculties in order. They let me stay for you because you were so upset and they were afraid the stress would cause you to slip back into a coma or cause an early labor.”
I wasn’t ready to discuss the baby just yet. And I didn’t.
Covering my face with my blanket, I said in a muffled voice, “I’m nothing but trouble.”
Sitting beside me and pulling the blanket down, Sehun said, “Well, you are my trouble so you let me worry about it.” His face was all smiles.
“How can you find this funny?”
“I guess it’s funny because we are in so much trouble,” he said and held the straw to my lips.
“That makes absolutely no sense!” I didn’t understand how he wasn’t furious with me.
Putting the cup on the side table, he took my hand. “Well, Exo has gotten so much bad press lately that the boss is crazy angry. But, any press, even bad press, is good press. We’ve gained an even bigger following since all of this began. So Mr. Kim doesn’t know what to think. Every venue we have booked sold out in under a minute. They even added some and the same thing happened.”
I watched his thumb make circles on the back of my hand. “What about today? Won’t this change things?”
“Are you kidding? The socials are blowing up. People are loving the fact that ‘Sweet innocent Suho’ was arrested for going all Bruce Lee on everybody.” Sehun put air quotes around the phrase and threw his head back in laughter.
I even had to smile at his mirth.
“This is terrible,” I said.
“Terrible? Are you crazy? Everything is perfect!” Sehun said. He took my face in his hands and said, “You are awake. I feel like I own the world right now! All of this other stuff will work itself out. The job is whatever. Mr. Kim will make a fortune and get over it.”
He leaned forward and placed a very sweet kiss on my mouth. Just like that, all of the problems went straight out of my head.
We spent about an hour together before they came to take him to the police station. I pouted.

The next day I awoke to the sun. Three of them in fact. Kai, Chen, and Lay stood around the bed staring at me as if I was a baboon at the zoo.
“Hey silly lady! Where have you been?” asked Chen. He reached out and shoved my shoulder.
I yawned and stretched and pushed myself into a sitting position smiling the whole time.
Lay, who was sitting where Sehun sat the night before, leaned over and laid his head on my globe of a tummy. I pulled gently on one of his shiny curls.
Kai pulled up a chair on the other side. “Yeah! Who do you think you are keeping all of us waiting? We have important things to do you know.”
“Been keeping Harvey busy have you?” I asked. We all laughed.
Lay reached out his arms and encircled my tummy in a gentle hug as he continued to lay there. I continued to run my fingers through his soft hair.
I looked around the room behind the boys and realized that it had filled up with flowers and balloons and little stuffed toys. I tried to figure out which boys picked out which gifts. The only one I knew for sure was the purple one. It had to be from Lay. The balloon was a gigantic metallic purple butterfly and the purple flowers were being hugged by a fluffy purple teddy bear wearing a black tux and top hat.
The multi-colored pastel flower bouquet that was as big as a small tree was probably from Kai and the demure vase with six perfect red and white roses with the lace card must have been from Chen. I was confused though by two other bouquets that sat farther back. The one on the left was a beautiful deep blue vase of dozens of white roses that looked like they had been tipped in shiny gold glitter. The other was a pretty sea foam green basket full of daisies. It was sitting on a huge box of chocolates. When I looked closer, I saw a tiny man standing in the daisies. My curiosity was peaked.
“Kai, can I ask you a question?” I asked.
“Of course you can,” said Kai.
“Who is the little man in that basket of flowers behind you?” I laughed.
“Ah. That is a gift from Shinee. And that little man is Taemin. He’s on tour and couldn’t be here in person but he didn’t want you to miss him,” said Kai.
“Mm-hmm,” was all I could say to that. “How thoughtful. I have been missing him quite a bit.”
We all laughed.
The boys stayed and kept me laughing until lunchtime.

I had a date for dinner. Bacon brought me real food and more flowers. The most important thing he brought, however, was information.
“Jun and Sehun have to make public apologies for their actions but that’s about it,” he said as he set out the food.
“When do they get out of jail?”
“Oh, they never really went to jail. They took them down there and made them fill out some paperwork and sent them home. Our lawyers threatened to sue the hospital if they didn’t drop the charges against them.”
I took a bite and swallowed before asking, “Sue them for what?”
Bacon didn’t bother to swallow when he answered through a mouth full of food. “For letting you get hurt.”
“How much trouble are they in with the company?” I asked.
“They spent the rest of the day being yelled at by Mr. Kim and he told them that if they mess up again, they are out. The company will terminate their contracts. He was actually serious this time,” said Bacon.
I lost my appetite.
“Hey, don’t be sad. They are okay. I thought Jun would beat himself up about it but actually, he was still fuming. And Sehun can’t stop smiling and whistling. It’s really annoying,” said Bacon.
I felt warm remembering Sehun’s squinty-eyed smile.
We talked about what it was like to be in a coma, what the boys had been working on while I was away, and everything except for the ball or the baby.
“Suho and Sehun will be allowed to visit you tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll be stuck with Sehun after that. Sorry.” He grinned.
“I think I will be perfectly okay with that,” I said.
“I thought you might,” he said.
He cleaned up the mess, kissed me on the forehead, and wished me goodnight with a promise to visit the next day. Then Bacon stood at the door and looked at me silently for a few minutes before waving and walking out the door.

I was drifting in and out of sleep around ten o’clock when I had a surprise visitor. I was in between being awake and falling asleep for the night when I could hear footsteps. I thought it was a nurse until I heard a chair being pulled up to the bed. Hoping to see Sehun, I pulled myself up out of sleep with some difficulty and was shocked to see the face that was staring at me.
The room was dark except for the television and his face glowed in the soft light.
“Hey you,” he said.
“Chanyeol?” I asked in a groggy voice.
“Surprise,” he said.
“It certainly is. Isn’t it a little late for a hospital visit? Do they allow visitors this late?” I asked.
“I think they are afraid to tell anyone from Exo no now,” he said and laughed a small laugh. I noticed his eyes moving from my face to my tummy and back quite a bit. “Sorry for waking you up. I was hoping you would have gotten your fill of sleeping since you’ve been asleep for months.”
I grinned at him. “Did you just make a coma joke?” I asked.
“Maaaaybeee,” he drawled out as he looked down and absentmindedly straightened wrinkles out of the blanket. Then he got a serious look on his face, but still didn’t look up at me. “I thought we could talk alone about some things.”
“Okay,” I said. I was a little confused and apprehensive. I had no idea what we would have to talk about unless he had decided that he wanted me to stay away from Sehun again. “What’s on your mind?”
It turned out that Chanyeol had a lot on his mind.
“I thought that you probably have some questions and no one seems to be willing to give you any answers. The consensus at home is that no one should talk about what happened, but I don’t agree. I don’t usually agree with the consensus if you hadn’t figured that out by now,” he said.
“I kind of had,” I said.
“I’m not really sure what you know already so you can ask me questions if you want. Ask me anything. I’ll answer you if I can.”
I didn’t know what to think. This seemed to be my golden opportunity. Who knew it would come from Chanyeol of all people?
“Alright,” I said. “First of all, exactly what injuries did I have?”
“As far as I know, you were stabbed in the side, which punctured your lung. Then, before they shot Park Kyung, he stabbed you in the back but he missed any organs and your spine.” Chanyeol seemed uncomfortable talking about Kyung. “The idiot that started shooting was tackled and that made him shoot the chandelier. It fell on you and cut your head open.”
I couldn’t help but wince when he mentioned Kyung. “They shot him?” I asked.
“Yep. In the head. He lived for awhile. They operated and got the bullet out, but he never woke up again. He lasted for about two months I think.” Chanyeol crossed his arms and sat back in the chair.
I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to cry and I could feel tears pooling around the corners of my eyes.
Chanyeol sat up and looked at me closely. “Are you going to cry? For that piece of sh…filth?”
A tiny tear did escape then. I felt defensive. “I don’t know why! I can’t explain it.”
Reaching over, he caught the tear with his finger and held it up to me. “He doesn’t deserve this tear! He doesn’t deserve one ounce of your sympathy! That monster destroyed lives! He tore into my family and left a gaping hole of pain that hurts every minute of every day! And yes, I’m including you in that.” Chanyeol’s voice started to get a little loud.
“I know that,” I whispered. “Every word of that is true. But I think that he was a very messed up man that needed help and he never had a chance.”
With a calmer voice he said, “You are a much better person than me. I can recall the exact moment when his head exploded and it makes me happy. He deserved it! And it isn’t true that he didn’t have a chance. He had EVERY chance. He was on medication to make him normal and he refused to take it. He did what he did because that was who he really was. He was a monster that abused women. Women like you that couldn’t or wouldn’t fight back. The world is better and safer without him.”
It got quiet and I thought about Chanyeol’s words. He was right. The world was better off. “He was a monster.”
“Yes. Never let me catch you giving him one little iota of pity again. Do you understand me little girl?”
I nodded.
Sitting back and folding his arms again, he said, “Now, what else do you need to know?”
“You consider me a part of your family?”
“Yes I do,” he said.
I could feel the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth and I couldn’t hold it back. That made me so happy.
He sat up and laid his hand on the top of my tummy. The baby rolled over. “Do you know what you want to do about this?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I haven’t given it much thought,” I said.
“Don’t you think you had better? She’s coming very soon whether anyone likes it or not and she has to be dealt with,” he said.
“She?” I asked in surprise.
“The baby is a girl.”
I looked at his hand cradling my stomach. “It might be best to give her away,” I said. “It wouldn’t be fair to her to grow up with that stigma on her. She would always be known as Park Kyung’s rape baby. It’s not fair to her and it’s not fair to Se…”
“He wants it,” interrupted Chanyeol.
“What?”
“Sehun wants this baby. He loves her. He talks about her all the time. You have to remember, for awhile he thought that she was all he was going to have left of you. The doctor’s always said the chance of you waking up was close to nil so he latched on to her.” He took his hand off of my tummy. “We tried to change his mind. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like for him if she looks like her father. But he wouldn’t listen. See,” he said as he raised his sleeve and showed me a scar close to his elbow. “I ended up with four stitches.”
I put my hands over my face and shook my head. “Sehun!” I said under my breath.
“You really need to discuss this with him. Ultimately, it’s your decision, but you need to know that even though her father is an insane psychopath, your daughter is very much loved and wanted by the man that you love,” he said. “And since he can’t have a child of his own, I think he also sees this as his only chance to ever be a father.”
“But what if she is like her father?” I asked with tears beginning to well up again. “What if she’s evil?”
“What if she is like her mother? Sweet and loving and annoying?” asked Chanyeol.
I sat up and punched him in the arm as he laughed.
“Seriously though, if she had any kind of problems, we would get her help. Medication. Anything she needed. And she would have soooooo many uncles to keep her on the right path.” He grinned a huge grin. Leaning in close he said, “Come on. Tell me it doesn’t tickle you just a little to think of Jun trying to chase her all over that huge house.”
We really laughed at that.
“Well, I better go. You can tell Sehun about our conversation if you want but I don’t think you should. If you think of any more questions you can just ask.” He stood up and walked toward the door. Turning he said, “Go to sleep. You gotta start taking better care of my niece.” He put two fingers to his lips, kissed them and waved them in a goodbye gesture and he walked out the door.

I couldn’t remember when I had a better nights sleep. I didn’t remember any dreams and I felt a calmness that was unusual when I first woke up. I also woke up to warm breath on my cheek. I couldn’t turn my head because something was laying on my hair. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a bunch of shaggy pink hair. Pink?
An arm was laying across my middle so I couldn’t sit up so I looked around my ever present tummy and a warmth spread through my body at what I saw.
“My Suho,” I said. The sound of my voice was loud in the silent room, and Suho jumped, dropping the book he had been reading.
“You scared me to death,” he said. Picking up the book, Suho changed his position in the uncomfortable looking chair. Now he sat with his elbows on his knees and his hands clenched out in front of him. He looked up at me and just stared for a few minutes. I looked at him too. He was very easy to look at.
Finally, he stood up and came over to me. He took my hand, and I noticed how soft his hands were. “Welcome back,” he said.
“I’m so glad to be back,” I said.
“We have certainly missed you. Don’t tell Sehun, but I missed you more than he did.”
“You think?” I asked. “Well then why is he laying in the bed while you sit over there with what looks like a very boring book?”
“He threw paper and beat my rock,” he said.
We couldn’t help but laugh, and we accidentally woke up Sehun. He whined a little, changed position, and tickled my ear with his breath.
Getting down to business, as Suho does, he pulled the chair closer and sat down. “I’ve talked to the doctors and they say that they want to do some tests and observe you for a couple of weeks, and if you are doing well, I can take you home.”
My heart jumped, and I squealed. “I can’t wait!” I said. Then I thought about what he had said. “A couple of weeks? But I want to come home now.”
“And I want you to as well, but we need to make sure that you aren’t going to slip away from us again. We couldn’t survive that.”
I stuck out my lower lip and pouted.
“You stop that right now!” Suho said and laughed. “A couple of weeks is nothing compared to what we have been through. We can give the universe that much since it saw fit to bring you back.”
“I know,” I said. “I just feel like I’ve given the universe a lot already.”
“Indeed you have,” said Suho.
“Not only that, but it seems the universe gave me something that I didn’t exactly ask for,” I said. I put my free hand on my stomach.
“I think that is something that we will deal with after we have you home. We still have time and talking about it right now will put too much strain on you,” he said. I noticed he avoided looking at my stomach.
“It puts a strain on me now, Suho,” I said.
His mouth formed a straight line and he looked down at his feet. Then he stood up in one fast motion and kicked the chair behind him. “It makes me too damn mad to think about it. So I don’t.” He put his hands in his pockets and he began to pace back and forth at the end of the bed.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t. I’m mad at myself. I can’t believe I let that happen. In my own house. Under my own nose! You should hate me.” He continued to pace.
I felt Sehun lift his head, and I looked over at him. He looked puzzled. “It wasn’t your fault Suho!” I said. “You did everything you possibly could to keep me safe. Honestly, it was my fault.”
He began to shake his head and say “No,” over and over again.
“Yes! I knew it was Park Kyung and I didn’t tell you. If I had, he would never have made it inside that house.”
Sehun sat up on his elbow and stared down at me in surprise. Suho stopped his pacing and turned to me. “You knew it was him? You always told me you didn’t know who it was. Why wouldn’t you tell me? Didn’t you trust me?” He came back over to stand next to the bed.
“Of course I did. Always. I think I was so afraid of Kyung that I thought he could hurt you somehow if you knew it was him. I never imagined he was crazy enough to come into that house with all of those people there.”
“Oh Elizabeth,” said Suho. He squinted his eyes closed and began to rub them as if I had given him a headache.
“I’m so sorry, Suho. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting you like you had protected me,” I said.
Glancing over at Sehun, I could tell he was hurt.
“It wasn’t your fault, Elizabeth. And it wasn’t mine either. We have to realize that it was his fault. It was Park Kyung’s fault. We need to realize that and leave it there. In the past where it belongs.” He picked up the chair and brought it back over to the bed. “Now, we are going to stop talking about this and only talk about good things. I don’t want you under any stress.”
Sehun laid his head on my chest and rubbed my belly. The baby seemed to react to his touch and started rolling around.
“Thank you, Suho. I love you very much. Please know that,” I said.
He came over and kissed my forehead. “I love you too,” he said. “And now I have to go to a meeting. I’m going to leave Mr. Oh here to watch over you while I’m gone. I know it’s going to be a hardship, but you will have to endure it.”
I smiled at him. And then kissed Sehun’s head. “Bye Suho.”
He walked out the door without a backward glance.

Sehun didn’t mention what I had said about knowing it was Park Kyung, and I was glad. I only wanted to be happy with him right now. He continued to feel the baby moving without a word. I enjoyed just being so near him.
I ran my fingers through his pink hair. I looked around and began to notice that there were a lot more bouquets sitting around than when I had gone to sleep. I don’t know that many people.
“I love you more,” Sehun said interrupting my thoughts.
“Huh?” I was confused.
“I love you more than Junie,” he said.
“You better!” I said.
He moved up and kissed me. It was a long slow kiss and I never wanted it to end. When it did, another one began. We just laid there and kissed for a very long time. I was so much in love.

Two weeks later, I got to go home.

Notes