"Dressing Zico"

I hadn’t closed my curtain the night before and when the sun came up, it shined right into my face. I rolled over and pulled the blankets over my head. I didn’t feel like getting up. I didn’t feel like doing anything. But no matter how badly I wanted to ignore the world today, I had a lot to do. I needed to visit Marco. Then I had to take the clothes that Zico would wear as an MC to the broadcast station. Ji-Yong wanted to take me but he had his own event he had to attend. After that I needed to pack because I was moving to another hotel. I had already made the reservations for a suite that would be so much more comfortable than my room for so many reasons. It would be more like an apartment than just a room, Ji-Yong could visit more comfortably, and I wouldn’t have to worry about Zico just walking in all of the time. I didn’t need to live in the same hotel as my boss. I could just as easily email him the sets for his approval and he could say yes or no the same way. Then tonight I had a date with Jong.
I had a full day and no motivation. I was praying that I wouldn’t have to deal with Zico for obvious reasons but I usually wasn’t that lucky. The truth was, I wasn’t even that angry with him. I understood why he was acting the way he was. Zico wanted it all. He wanted me and Alicia and he wanted us to be okay with it but that was never going to happen and he knew it. It was something he couldn’t control and he didn’t know how to deal with that. If he couldn’t have us both, he wanted the one he couldn’t have to stay alone. That also wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t angry for two reasons: 1) Just seeing Zico with Alicia tore my heart out and I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to walk in on them in bed, and 2) in my heart, I secretly wanted Zico. I wanted him to be hurt by my relationship with Ji-Yong and I just wanted him. Physically. He didn’t treat me very well last night but I had wanted him. It was pitiful on my part but even if I could only have him angry and punishing, I would take it.
I got up and had a hot shower hoping that it would improve my mood but it didn’t. It just made me hot. I thought of Ji-Yong and began touching myself. He had been so great but it wasn’t until I thought of Zico watching us that I came. I had such a problem.
Getting dressed, I remembered that I had turned off my phone before I went to sleep. When I turned it on, it started buzzing like crazy. I had sixteen missed calls and five texts. I opened and answered them one by one.
Jong: Am I still picking you up at 8?
Elizabeth: Yes. I’ll be ready.
Then,
Jaehyo: I’m so sorry. I can’t go with you to see Marco today. Minhyuk said he would go if you didn’t want to go alone. Is that okay?
Elizabeth: You are so sweet! I’ll be fine by myself. Tell Minhyuk he’s off the hook. Lol Thanks to both of you!
Next,
Ji-Yong: GOOD MORNING! I hope you are feeling better than I am this morning. Missing your face… and other parts. ;) Mmmwwaahh! <3 <3 <3
Ji-Yong: Wish I could see you tonight. :(
Elizabeth: I wish I could see you too. I don’t feel any better than you I’m sure. I guess there is such a thing as too much fun! ;) My face…and my parts can’t wait to see you again! Kisses! <3
I wanted to ignore Zico’s text but he was the one that had made the calls and he was still my boss so I opened it and held my breath.
Zico: If you’re going to work for me, you have to answer your damn phone! You can’t ignore me!
A text wasn’t going to do it. I was going to have to call him. Well, so much for avoiding Zico today! I pushed the call back button and closed my eyes.
“Why in the hell didn’t you answer your phone all night?” he said when he answered.
“Good morning to you too. What did you need?” I said. I didn’t feel like playing his games today.
“Don’t forget I have a schedule today,” he said.
“I have everything ready. It’s not like you’re going to wear what I bring anyway,” I said. I felt snippy and he was my target.
“You’re getting paid for it either way so don’t worry about it,” he sniped back.
“Is that it? I need to go,” I said.
“The show isn’t until 3. Where do you have to go?” he asked.
I could have been difficult but I didn’t have the energy. “I’m going to see Marco before I drop your clothes off.”
“You aren’t staying for the show? What if there is a wardrobe malfunction?” he asked.
“I’m sure Alicia is more than capable of fixing her malfunctions,” I said.
“Whatever. I have a radio show in the morning too. It’s online so I need a set for that,” he said.
“That’s Block B so that’s Alicia’s problem. Not mine,” I answered.
He was quiet for a moment.
“Is that it?” I asked.
“Um, about last… never mind. I’ll see you at the station,” he said and hung up.
Not if I see you first! I thought. I finished getting ready. My phone buzzed but I didn’t look at it because I thought it was Zico. When I grabbed it as I was walking out the door, I saw that it was actually from Ji-Yong.
Ji-Yong: Can I see you tonight around 1am? I know it’s extremely late but I’m busy until then and I don’t know if I can sleep unless I see you at least once. :D
Elizabeth: What are we going to do at 1 in the morning? Lol
He answered immediately. Ji-Yong: I’ll come up with something.
Elizabeth: I would love to see you at any time of day!
Ji-Yong: Great! I’ll pick you up. I hope you have a good day.
Elizabeth: I will now. I have something to look forward to!
I had to smile as I put my phone in my purse. Ji-Yong made me smile.

Marco was the same. I made another wish and whispered “Marco” into his ear but still no “Polo” came from his lips. I wasn’t going to give up. One day I would hear that sweet gruff voice again. He was going to get better and tell me who did this to him and I was going rip their effing heart out! At least that was my plan! I talked to Marco and told him what had been going on. All except for my taking Ecstasy. I didn’t want him to know about that. When it was time to go, I kissed his cheek and told him that I loved him and I left.
At the station, I tried to sneak in and sneak out but I wasn’t quick enough. I put Zico’s clothes in his dressing room but on my way out, Jaehyo stopped me. This show wasn’t for Block B but Zico had asked him to be there. He didn’t know why either but I did when I found out that he had asked Jaehyo to come at the last minute. Zico knew that I was leaving and he also knew that I’d stay and talk to Jaehyo if he asked me to.
“Where are you off to?” he asked.
“I have to pack,” I said. A man with a headset came by and gave each of us a drink. It was really strange. Especially since Jaehyo’s drink was still in the can and mine was in a glass with ice and a straw. Jaehyo didn’t question it. He opened the can and took a big drink.
“Pack? Are you taking a trip?” he asked.
“Nope. I’m moving,” I said and sipped the drink without thinking.
“Moving? Why? Where?” He gave me the pouty puppy face that I never can resist.
“I’m renting my own suite at another hotel. Don’t worry. I’m still going to be close. I just think it’s time I get a little distance from Zico and Alicia,” I said and took another drink.
“Well, I don’t think you should go too far. They are already fighting like they used to. She’s putting her nose into places it doesn’t belong and trying to take control of him again.”
“Well…” I didn’t know what else to say about that. Zico kept watching me and Jaehyo and I knew he was hoping I was staying. “I really have to go, Jaehyo. I’ll talk to you soon okay?” I kissed his cheek and he blushed. He was so cute. I finished the drink and handed him the glass. “Bye,” I said and left.
I wanted to be packed and gone before Zico came back. I actually felt a little sad at leaving this room behind. A lot had happened here but I had to leave sometime. This was a hotel. Not a place to live.
I went over to the new hotel. My suite was near the top floor with a balcony and looking over the banister made me dizzy. I could see the other hotel from here and if Zico had his curtains open and I had a pair of binoculars, I could probably see everything he was doing. I also suppose the reverse it true so I had better keep my curtains closed! I thought.
I heard a bell ring. I have a doorbell! Yay! I went to the door and not only did I have a bell, I also had a monitor so I could see who was outside. It was Jong. I watched him for a minute or two on the monitor just because I could and he actually looked nervous. He ran his finger over his teeth and smoothed his hair. He straightened his sweater and I had to admire the beauty of Lee Jong Suk. I opened the door.
“Hey Jong! You’re really early,” I said and moved so that he could come in.
“Well, I had to come and see the new set up. Pretty nice,” he said and looked around.
“I really like it. It’s nice and roomy and best of all, it’s away from Zico!” I couldn’t help but to make that little jab.
“Yeah, I liked that too,” he said and pulled me into a hug. I tried to keep it a friendly hug but he made it hard when his hands wanted to roam around. He leaned in and kissed me before I could dodge him. “Mmm, almonds?” he asked.
“What?”
“You taste like almonds,” he said.
I pulled out of his arms and took his hand. “Jong, come over here and sit down. We need to talk,” I said and led him to the couch. I dreaded this talk. Jong had been really sweet to me lately and I didn’t want to lead him on without telling him that I was also seeing Ji-Yong.
“Uh-oh,” he said as I led him down into the inset sitting area. I loved how it was at a lower level than the rest of the suite and seemed to float out into the air. The round wall of floor to ceiling windows also made it feel like we were practically sitting outside. “This sounds like a bad talk,” he said.
“Um, I guess it depends on how you decide to handle it,” I said. We sat down.
“Please don’t stop seeing me. I finally got you away from Zico and I really like you, Elizabeth. I don’t think I’ve ever had the same feelings for a woman that I have for you,” he said and held my hands like he was desperate.
He wasn’t going to make this easy. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and then I looked into his eyes. “Jong, I’m not saying that I don’t want to see you anymore. I like spending time with you but I wanted to let you know that I have also started spending time with someone else.”
He looked hurt and that was the exact look I didn’t want to see from him. He was supposed to be “good time Jong” with no real attachments. The Jong who used women for what he could get and then left them. The Jong that didn’t care if you were seeing someone else as long as you knew he was seeing other women too. He wasn’t supposed to be the Jong that got hurt or said things like “I really like you”! What happened to the Jong that I could use to get revenge on Zico and then toss aside because I knew he was doing the same thing?
“Who else are you seeing? Do I know him?” he asked.
“It’s Kwon Ji-Yong. Have you heard of him?” I asked.
He gave me a look of suspicion. Then his eyes became huge. “You’re seeing G-Dragon?” He let go of my hands and stood up. “No you are not. NO YOU ARE NOT!” He walked over to stand in front of the bank of windows and ran a hand through his silky black hair. It stood up sexily. He turned back to me and said, “This can’t be happening. I couldn’t compete with Zico much less with G-Dragon! I just can’t compete!” Now he was walking back and forth talking to the air. “G-Dragon,” he said and laughed. “Of course. Why not! WHY THE HELL NOT!”
I stood up and went to him and took his hands to stop his pacing. “I didn’t say I was only seeing him, Jong. I still want to go out with you too but only if you want to.”
“Share a woman with G-Dragon?” he said and then stopped dead. He had just realized something. “I can share a woman with G-DRAGON!”
I shook my head. “You are something else,” I said and laughed. We sat back down.
“No! You don’t get it! I doubt anyone else has ever been able to say they’ve shared a woman with G-Dragon!” he said.
“What is so freaking special about Ji-Yong?” I asked.
Jong looked at me like I had uttered the worst of all the curse words. “Haven’t you ever heard the saying, ‘It doesn’t matter if G-Dragon isn’t your bias. He’s your bias’ bias!’”
I laughed so hard at that. Jong actually laughed too. “No, I hadn’t heard that. But I don’t have a bias either,” I said.
“Well, trust me. You are in the position that a million girls would kill to be in. So be careful!”
“So you still want to go out then?” I asked and wiped at my eyes.
“Yes, as long as you aren’t sleeping with us both. I don’t think I could handle that!” he said and stood up with his hand held out to me.
I didn’t say a word. I wasn’t, in actuality, sleeping with them both. Just Ji-Yong. But Jong didn’t need to know about the details of my other dates. That was my business. I took his hand and allowed him to help me up. He hugged me again. This time his hands stayed where they belonged.

Dinner with Jong had been a lot of fun. He talked more about Ji-Yong than anything and asked a lot of questions that I didn’t know the answers to. I didn’t know Ji-Yong that well actually. I had only slept with him because I was high and I didn’t plan to again until I knew him a lot better. Jong was a gentleman and I wasn’t use to that from him. I hoped he was exaggerating when he said that he had feelings for me. I had had enough of jealous men for a long while. I just wanted to go out and have fun and not worry about hurting anyone or getting hurt.
Jong had offered to walk me to my suite but I told him I would be fine and kissed him at the elevator door. I knew that if he came up, he would want to stay and I had to get ready to see Ji-Yong at 1. I didn’t know what we would be doing so I didn’t know what to wear. It was cold out so I put on a giant bulky red sweater and jeans. I hoped he wasn’t taking me somewhere fancy but I doubted it since it was so late at night. During dinner I had started feeling a little sick to my stomach and I hoped that it wouldn’t get worse while I was out with Ji-Yong. I looked in the mirror and my face looked red. Crap! I think I’m getting sick. That’s all I need right now! I wonder if I have a fever? I couldn’t tell. Now that I thought about it, I felt a little dizzy and my sight was blurry. I have a fever! Maybe I should cancel. I frowned to myself. I didn’t want to cancel. This was the highlight of my whole day! I just won’t kiss him, I thought.
I laid on the couch and waited for his text. It never came but the bell rang. I got up, surprised that he would come all the way to the door, and watched him on the monitor. He looked more nervous than Jong. I also waited a minute so that I could admire the beauty that was Kwon Ji-Yong. He was dressed in a light blue t-shirt and jean jacket. I was glad it was going to be a casual evening because I was really starting to feel sick.
When I opened the door, Ji-Yong had the biggest smile on his face. “Hello beautiful!” He stepped in, put his arms around me and consumed me with an overpowering kiss. Well, so much for that plan! I thought. “Mmmm…. You taste of something odd,” he said. He licked his lips.
“I do?” I was nervous so I breathed into my hand to smell my breath. It did smell odd.
“Did you have almond salad for dinner?” he asked.
“No, but maybe the pasta I ate had almonds,” I said. Wait! Didn’t Jong say something about almonds?
Ji-Yong touched my cheek. “Did you just get back? Your cheeks are all rosy. You don’t feel cold thought,” he said.
“I think I might be getting a little sick,” I said.
“We don’t have to go if you don’t feel well,” he said and held me out to look at my eyes.
“No, no. I want to go. Let me get my scarf and my purse,” I said. Now that he was here, I really wanted to spend time with him.
“You don’t need your purse. Just you. I’ll take care of everything else,” he said and smiled. I liked the sound of that. I put my phone in my pocket and grabbed my scarf.

I was surprised by Ji-Yong yet again when we pulled into the parking lot of a children’s play park. It was closed at night and there weren’t many lights so we were basically making our way around swings and slides and ladders in the dark.
“I want to share something with you that I’ve never shared with anyone else” he said. “Please don’t laugh at me.”
“Ji-Yong! I would never laugh at you!” I wondered if he really meant the things he said or if they were well rehearsed and he was actually a bigger player than Jong!
We came to a big merry-go-round and he sat down. I stood in front of him and he put his warm hands around my cold ones and looked up at me. Sometimes he looked like a little boy. “Sometimes I come here alone at night and ride the merry-go-round and write songs,” he said. “I want you to see how beautiful the stars are when you are spinning.” He stood up and pointed to the spot he had just left. “Lay down,” he said.
I did as he commanded. The metal was extremely cold, even through my clothes. I shivered just as Ji-Yong looked over at me. He took off his jacket and laid it over me like a blanket. He was only wearing a t-shirt and I was very concerned.
“No! You are going to freeze!” I protested.
“Nah! Not me. I’m always hot,” he said and winked. I laughed. “You’ll need it when you start spinning.”
It took a second but he got the merry-go-round to start moving and soon he was running. I pulled his jacket closer around me and it smelled amazing. He jumped on and laid down with his head touching mine. He wasn’t wrong about how beautiful it was. The stars made different colored streaks in circles.
“I was right wasn’t I?” he asked.
“It is so beautiful Ji-Yong. Thank you so much. I love it,” I said.
“It’s very inspirational. I wrote an entire album just laying here,” he said.
All of a sudden, my stomach lurched. A pain shot through me and I couldn’t breath. I had to gulp for air. Ji-Yong didn’t notice. After a moment, it stopped and went away. Ji-Yong got off when the merry-go-round slowed down. Instead of starting it again, he looked down at me.
“You look really sexy laying there,” he said.
“Do I?” I teased.
“Mm-hmm. I have an idea,” he said and climbed back on. “May I?” he asked and pulled on my scarf.
“Okay,” I said and lifted my head so that he could take the scarf off. I looked at him strangely.
“Trust me,” he said and smiled. I did. At first. Until it started getting weird. He tied one end of the scarf to my wrists and bound them together. Then he pulled the other end tight and tied it to the ride until my arms were over my head and I was stuck. “That’s perfect,” he said. Getting off the ride, he started pushing it again until it was going faster than before. He jumped back on and made his way to me, straddling me and leaning down to kiss me. It was a slow very sensual kiss. He ran his hands up my arms and back. I was starting to get into it when the pain came back. I gasped and he pulled back.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I couldn’t answer because I couldn’t breath. The pain was worse than before. It felt like someone was stabbing me over and over. Ji-Yong hurriedly untied the scarf and I barely made it to the side of the merry-go-round when I threw up. It looked like I had thrown up black tar but when he shined his phone light on it, I had thrown up blood. A lot of blood. The pain hit again and I cried out as I threw up more blood.
“I’m calling the paramedics,” he said.
I couldn’t sit up. Ji-Yong sat with me and I could tell he was scared. He didn’t know what to do. “I’m sorry. Is this my fault?” he asked.
I shook my head and threw up again. The pain was worse and I started to cry.
The paramedics came and Ji-Yong rode with me to the hospital. The men did the things they had to do and Ji-Yong held my hand. He bent over and whispered in my ear, “Well, that almost got very hot!”
Even through the pain I had to laugh. He kissed my cheek.
When I got to the hospital, he had to stay in the waiting room while they tried to figure out what was wrong with me. I thought I knew what was wrong with me, I was dying. Someone had tried to kill me and I would bet my life that it was the same person that stabbed my Marco.

Notes