As Blind As Could Be...
Wish
OPTION A:
Thursday
January 5, 2017
Months after Kyungsoo’s death
“Eunsoo-shi” Butler Lee pats my right shoulder gently. “It’s almost time for the reunion dinner.”
“I know.” You heave a long sigh and shake your head. “I never thought I would see those boys again, but of course with the persuasiveness of Jongin, here I am.”
“I’ll send in the ladies to help you get ready.” Butler Lee bows and turns to leave the room.
“No.” You scratch your head slightly and he pauses, turning his head. “I can get myself this time.”
With his last bow, the Butler dismisses himself from the room and leaves you in silence. It takes you a few minutes to get yourself up from your chair and head into your walk in closet.
Dressed in a red, long sleeve dress, you head to your desk and start applying heavy makeup. The makeup that covers your dark circles and dry skin. Carefully, you fit pearl earrings onto your ear. For the finishing touches, you grab a small handbag and red high heel shoes.
They clink down your marble floors, creating a loud echo noises that run down your hallways. Unconsciously, you pass by Kyungsoo’s room, ignoring it’s existence.
Butler Lee waits at the door, opening it as you approach. A maid helps you put your jacket on as you make your way passed the door. The driver opens the back door for you and waits until your comfortable inside to close it and drive off.
“Eunsoo-shi.” The driver’s voice is deep and clearly heard.
“Ne…” You answer, but keep your eyes out the window.
“We’ll be there in approximately ten minutes. Would you like to make any stops before we reach your final destination?”
Your lips freeze as you realize you come empty handed. If I brought something, it would make it seem like I actually care about all of them now. There shouldn’t be any problem if I just showed up… The old me would’ve brought the entire world to them and hand it out on a silver platter. Too late for that now.
“No, it’s okay.” You cross your legs and meet his eyes in the mirror. “Where are we going anyways?”
“Your old high school.”
Your right eye twitches slightly. Seriously?
------
When you arrive at the front circle of the high school, someone’s there to greet you.
“Ch-Chanyeol.” Your almost at lost of breath. He opens the door for you and out of politeness, takes your hand to help you out of the car.
“Eunsoo-ah, it’s been a while hasn’t it.” His bright and bubbly personality still stands strong.
“Yeah… it has. How’s your solo career going for you?” My voice seems like it’s gone. But it’s there.
“Oh… yeah that.” There’s a pause in his voice. “The fame is great, but it’s quite lonely. Other than that, it’s going okay.”
There’s an awkward chuckle between us, dying out as another car pops up. Coming out of a taxi, Baekhyun walks out, fixing his hair last minute. He stops in his tracks as he encounters us.
“Chanyeol… Eunsoo… Nice to see you two together again.” You can hear a bit of humor from his voice, but he hides it quite well.
“Really? That’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth after going in the dark for such a long time?” Chanyeol pats his back, giving him a bright smile. “It’s good to see you too.”
Passing Chanyeol, I find myself tugging Baekhyun’s arm for a hug. “Oh, it’s been a long time since I last saw you.”
Baekhyun… was the first one to officially leave our group.
I can tell he’s exchanging looks with Chanyeol as he returns my subtle greeting hug. “Baekhyun, I’ve noticed you’ve been on the news lately. Gaming champion.”
His eyes turn into down facing crescents and his mouth shapes like a triangle, letting out a brief laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m not causing any trouble. I’m taking that as a congratulations from you.”
We walk into the school together, following the hallways that still had their lights on. We stop in front of the stairs. “You think Jongin wants us to meet on the roof?”
The roof… where it all started.
[Chapter 2]
“Just a little while longer, Eunsoo-ah, watch your step.” Kyungsoo smiles, yet you can’t tell.
He walks you to the roof of school. There, a table, two chairs and musicians. You inhale and smell something so familiar.
“Oppa! Kimchi Spaghetti!” You smile.
We walk up the stairs, our footsteps filling in the silence between the three of us. As we reach the top, the most familiar and never ending smell infiltrates my nose. Kimchi Spaghetti.
Chanyeol opens the roof door, revealing a bonfire with fold up chairs surrounding it. You recognize everyone almost instantly. Yixing, Luhan, Jongdae and Junmyeon sit there in silence. A huge pot sits cooking on an outdoor stove. Standing next to it is Jongin, leans against it slightly. Chanyeol and Baekhyun walk themselves over to the bonfire and I approach Jongin.
“Hey.” You stop walking once you were a few feet apart. He doesn’t answer, or… he didn’t hear you. The smell of kimchi was at its strongest where you were standing. “Dinner smells great. It rings up old memories.”
From the light of the far away bonfire, you see his shattered face. His eyes fall distant from yours. “I didn’t expect you to come, Eunsoo-ah.”
“...I didn’t think you would’ve convinced me too until you brought him up.” [A.N. Whenever someone refers to “him” it's Kyungsoo…. Just saying]
For the first time in forever, you see his wide eyes. However, they appear to be more dull and dim than their sparkling, bright days.
“Come here.” The feeling of refusal to reunite with everyone fades away almost instantly, realizing how lonely you, and everyone else was. Without permission, you almost throw yourself onto Kai. It isn’t the gentle hug you gave Baekhyun. You hug him like it’s the last time you were going to see him. “I’m sorry.”
[A/N: FOR THOSE OF YOU who are ONLY going to read OPTION A (and I hope not) don’t stop here. Scroll past Option B for the final ending. → Which is AB FINALE. Where both options apply to the story line]
OPTION B:
Thursday
January 5, 2017
You didn’t mind spending Christmas with Chanyeol and his mother, they were the warmest people you’ve ever been around. When New Year’s came along, you and the boy spent it on the SM LIVE TV SHOW with the SM Family. It was very warming and you were surrounded by tons of people, but… something didn’t feel right. Something was missing from your life. Someone…
EXO PLANET #3 EXO’rDIUM- Touring globally has weakened your voice and built more muscle in your body. Dancing every night, flying on planes, popping ears from the air pressure, spending time with members, it was all great. Lee Soo Man didn’t give as harsh of schedules as he’s done in the past. They were manageable this time. Everything fell perfectly in line. Almost perfectly in line.
------
Today was your rest day. Jongin proposed to have a secret dinner at our old school. On the roof, next to Jongin’s secret hide out. Everyone came at the same time, in two cars, preparing the dinner and the bonfire. You had violinists and a pianist come to play in the background, like Kyungsoo did that day [Chapter 2].
Jongin, Yixing and Jongdae talk to each other by the stove, stirring the food once in awhile. Everyone else is by the bonfire, speaking comfortably to everyone. You sit next to Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who are the usual ones who direct the conversations. You smile occasionally, and laugh almost every few minutes.
Jongin, Yixing and Jongdae come to join us, popping a bottle of white wine and glass beer bottles.
“Don’t get drunk on me now, everyone.” You chuckle and stand up, raising your plastic cup filled halfway with wine. “Cheers to us, the most successful kpop group in the world.”
“Amen to that.” Baekhyun follows your lead, bringing few laughs.
“Hallelujah~!” Kris shouts foolishly.
Sehun stands strong, raising his beer bottle. “Yehet!”
You find yourself, laughing at their wild and lovable personalities.
------
AB FINALE: -applies to both options-
After the settling down from the food and drinks, it was time for the real talk. The real reason everyone agreed to meet here.
“Guys…” You say after a few minutes of silences and deep staring at the bonfire. “What’ve we become…? Days are passing, as if Kyungsoo’s death means nothing to us. I don’t want the world to believe we’re letting his death go in vain. We’re doing nothing about it… just letting it breeze by into the abyss.”
You feel your eyes sting and stomp yourself from going on. Everyone listens to the crackling of the fire. Your eyes were so watery, there was need to blink, but no tears were falling.
Jongin speaks up, clearing his throat. “She’s right guys. We’ve progressed without him, but without him, we’re falling apart. One step forward, two steps back.”
“What do you think we should do then?” Luhan sighs dramatically. “Whether or not we give Kyungsoo recognition, it’s not going to help that we’ve moved passed that vaguely. Kyungsoo means so much to everyone here, I know… but we have our own lives too. It shouldn’t revolve around Kyungsoo.”
“Luhan has a point.” Suho rubs his hands together, elbows on his knees. “Kyungsoo won’t be forgotten, but we can’t spend the rest of our lives worrying about him.”
“I wish there was a way to reverse time.” You mutter loudly. “I don’t want to live a life without him. Nor do I want to live like this anymore. A life full of regrets. I refuse to move on without acknowledging I wasn’t able to do anything about his death. On top of that, say my final words to him. His death was the worst regret I gone through."
You clear your throat loudly, turning away to hide the falling tears down your face. Quickly, you wipe them with your jacket and continue. "C’mon guys… If you had the chance to turn back time and redo everything, would you? To ensure he isn’t alone… to ensure he’s surrounded by everyone, with love. To ensure he’ll still be alive at this very moment?”
The silence you receive as a response is an automatic yes. You stand up and put your hand in the middle, higher than the small bonfire smoke.
“Starting tomorrow, no matter what we’re doing, we’re going to do something for him. Make our regrets go away. Something… Anything… So I can keep going without wanting to end it all.”
One by one, they guys put a hand in the middle. With the determination as their leader, you have them follow your lead.
“Together.” You say, looking into their eyes. “EXO….”
“Saranghaja!” Everyone says proudly together.
Just as you watch the hands from everyone fly in the air, your vision turns blurry. Sooner or later, all you can see is white. You attempt to scream and shout for help, but nothing comes out of your mouth. After what feels like minutes, the white you see fades slowly, from light grey, to grey, to black. What’s going on?
Suddenly, you feel the warmth of another person and your walking up steps. Someone holds your left hand, guiding you in your blindness.
“Where am I?” You question. Oh I can finally speak.
“Just a little while longer, Eunsoo-ah, watch your step.” The familiar voice says cheerfully.
He walks you to the roof of school. There, a table, two chairs and musicians. You inhale and smell something so familiar.
“Kimchi Spaghetti!” You smile. K-kyungsoo!
“I made it for our lunch.” Kyungsoo sits you down.
Instead of sitting across from you, he sits right next to you and attempts to feed you. The music starts to play.
“Say Ahhhh~” Kyungsoo smiles. His hand rests on your shoulder, while his other hand holds the spaghetti with chopsticks.
“Kyungsoo… is it really you!” You raise your hands to touch his face, feeling his bone structure and milk soft skin. You hear him put the chopsticks back down on the plate. Your heart beats faster for every second that pasts by and your face burns hot.
As your fingers brush against his mouth, he smiles and you outline his plump lips. Gently, he pulls you into an embrace. “Your so silly. Of course it’s me. Why would I ever leave you?”
Thursday
January 5, 2017
Months after Kyungsoo’s death
“Eunsoo-shi” Butler Lee pats my right shoulder gently. “It’s almost time for the reunion dinner.”
“I know.” You heave a long sigh and shake your head. “I never thought I would see those boys again, but of course with the persuasiveness of Jongin, here I am.”
“I’ll send in the ladies to help you get ready.” Butler Lee bows and turns to leave the room.
“No.” You scratch your head slightly and he pauses, turning his head. “I can get myself this time.”
With his last bow, the Butler dismisses himself from the room and leaves you in silence. It takes you a few minutes to get yourself up from your chair and head into your walk in closet.
Dressed in a red, long sleeve dress, you head to your desk and start applying heavy makeup. The makeup that covers your dark circles and dry skin. Carefully, you fit pearl earrings onto your ear. For the finishing touches, you grab a small handbag and red high heel shoes.
They clink down your marble floors, creating a loud echo noises that run down your hallways. Unconsciously, you pass by Kyungsoo’s room, ignoring it’s existence.
Butler Lee waits at the door, opening it as you approach. A maid helps you put your jacket on as you make your way passed the door. The driver opens the back door for you and waits until your comfortable inside to close it and drive off.
“Eunsoo-shi.” The driver’s voice is deep and clearly heard.
“Ne…” You answer, but keep your eyes out the window.
“We’ll be there in approximately ten minutes. Would you like to make any stops before we reach your final destination?”
Your lips freeze as you realize you come empty handed. If I brought something, it would make it seem like I actually care about all of them now. There shouldn’t be any problem if I just showed up… The old me would’ve brought the entire world to them and hand it out on a silver platter. Too late for that now.
“No, it’s okay.” You cross your legs and meet his eyes in the mirror. “Where are we going anyways?”
“Your old high school.”
Your right eye twitches slightly. Seriously?
------
When you arrive at the front circle of the high school, someone’s there to greet you.
“Ch-Chanyeol.” Your almost at lost of breath. He opens the door for you and out of politeness, takes your hand to help you out of the car.
“Eunsoo-ah, it’s been a while hasn’t it.” His bright and bubbly personality still stands strong.
“Yeah… it has. How’s your solo career going for you?” My voice seems like it’s gone. But it’s there.
“Oh… yeah that.” There’s a pause in his voice. “The fame is great, but it’s quite lonely. Other than that, it’s going okay.”
There’s an awkward chuckle between us, dying out as another car pops up. Coming out of a taxi, Baekhyun walks out, fixing his hair last minute. He stops in his tracks as he encounters us.
“Chanyeol… Eunsoo… Nice to see you two together again.” You can hear a bit of humor from his voice, but he hides it quite well.
“Really? That’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth after going in the dark for such a long time?” Chanyeol pats his back, giving him a bright smile. “It’s good to see you too.”
Passing Chanyeol, I find myself tugging Baekhyun’s arm for a hug. “Oh, it’s been a long time since I last saw you.”
Baekhyun… was the first one to officially leave our group.
I can tell he’s exchanging looks with Chanyeol as he returns my subtle greeting hug. “Baekhyun, I’ve noticed you’ve been on the news lately. Gaming champion.”
His eyes turn into down facing crescents and his mouth shapes like a triangle, letting out a brief laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m not causing any trouble. I’m taking that as a congratulations from you.”
We walk into the school together, following the hallways that still had their lights on. We stop in front of the stairs. “You think Jongin wants us to meet on the roof?”
The roof… where it all started.
[Chapter 2]
“Just a little while longer, Eunsoo-ah, watch your step.” Kyungsoo smiles, yet you can’t tell.
He walks you to the roof of school. There, a table, two chairs and musicians. You inhale and smell something so familiar.
“Oppa! Kimchi Spaghetti!” You smile.
We walk up the stairs, our footsteps filling in the silence between the three of us. As we reach the top, the most familiar and never ending smell infiltrates my nose. Kimchi Spaghetti.
Chanyeol opens the roof door, revealing a bonfire with fold up chairs surrounding it. You recognize everyone almost instantly. Yixing, Luhan, Jongdae and Junmyeon sit there in silence. A huge pot sits cooking on an outdoor stove. Standing next to it is Jongin, leans against it slightly. Chanyeol and Baekhyun walk themselves over to the bonfire and I approach Jongin.
“Hey.” You stop walking once you were a few feet apart. He doesn’t answer, or… he didn’t hear you. The smell of kimchi was at its strongest where you were standing. “Dinner smells great. It rings up old memories.”
From the light of the far away bonfire, you see his shattered face. His eyes fall distant from yours. “I didn’t expect you to come, Eunsoo-ah.”
“...I didn’t think you would’ve convinced me too until you brought him up.” [A.N. Whenever someone refers to “him” it's Kyungsoo…. Just saying]
For the first time in forever, you see his wide eyes. However, they appear to be more dull and dim than their sparkling, bright days.
“Come here.” The feeling of refusal to reunite with everyone fades away almost instantly, realizing how lonely you, and everyone else was. Without permission, you almost throw yourself onto Kai. It isn’t the gentle hug you gave Baekhyun. You hug him like it’s the last time you were going to see him. “I’m sorry.”
[A/N: FOR THOSE OF YOU who are ONLY going to read OPTION A (and I hope not) don’t stop here. Scroll past Option B for the final ending. → Which is AB FINALE. Where both options apply to the story line]
OPTION B:
Thursday
January 5, 2017
You didn’t mind spending Christmas with Chanyeol and his mother, they were the warmest people you’ve ever been around. When New Year’s came along, you and the boy spent it on the SM LIVE TV SHOW with the SM Family. It was very warming and you were surrounded by tons of people, but… something didn’t feel right. Something was missing from your life. Someone…
EXO PLANET #3 EXO’rDIUM- Touring globally has weakened your voice and built more muscle in your body. Dancing every night, flying on planes, popping ears from the air pressure, spending time with members, it was all great. Lee Soo Man didn’t give as harsh of schedules as he’s done in the past. They were manageable this time. Everything fell perfectly in line. Almost perfectly in line.
------
Today was your rest day. Jongin proposed to have a secret dinner at our old school. On the roof, next to Jongin’s secret hide out. Everyone came at the same time, in two cars, preparing the dinner and the bonfire. You had violinists and a pianist come to play in the background, like Kyungsoo did that day [Chapter 2].
Jongin, Yixing and Jongdae talk to each other by the stove, stirring the food once in awhile. Everyone else is by the bonfire, speaking comfortably to everyone. You sit next to Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who are the usual ones who direct the conversations. You smile occasionally, and laugh almost every few minutes.
Jongin, Yixing and Jongdae come to join us, popping a bottle of white wine and glass beer bottles.
“Don’t get drunk on me now, everyone.” You chuckle and stand up, raising your plastic cup filled halfway with wine. “Cheers to us, the most successful kpop group in the world.”
“Amen to that.” Baekhyun follows your lead, bringing few laughs.
“Hallelujah~!” Kris shouts foolishly.
Sehun stands strong, raising his beer bottle. “Yehet!”
You find yourself, laughing at their wild and lovable personalities.
------
AB FINALE: -applies to both options-
After the settling down from the food and drinks, it was time for the real talk. The real reason everyone agreed to meet here.
“Guys…” You say after a few minutes of silences and deep staring at the bonfire. “What’ve we become…? Days are passing, as if Kyungsoo’s death means nothing to us. I don’t want the world to believe we’re letting his death go in vain. We’re doing nothing about it… just letting it breeze by into the abyss.”
You feel your eyes sting and stomp yourself from going on. Everyone listens to the crackling of the fire. Your eyes were so watery, there was need to blink, but no tears were falling.
Jongin speaks up, clearing his throat. “She’s right guys. We’ve progressed without him, but without him, we’re falling apart. One step forward, two steps back.”
“What do you think we should do then?” Luhan sighs dramatically. “Whether or not we give Kyungsoo recognition, it’s not going to help that we’ve moved passed that vaguely. Kyungsoo means so much to everyone here, I know… but we have our own lives too. It shouldn’t revolve around Kyungsoo.”
“Luhan has a point.” Suho rubs his hands together, elbows on his knees. “Kyungsoo won’t be forgotten, but we can’t spend the rest of our lives worrying about him.”
“I wish there was a way to reverse time.” You mutter loudly. “I don’t want to live a life without him. Nor do I want to live like this anymore. A life full of regrets. I refuse to move on without acknowledging I wasn’t able to do anything about his death. On top of that, say my final words to him. His death was the worst regret I gone through."
You clear your throat loudly, turning away to hide the falling tears down your face. Quickly, you wipe them with your jacket and continue. "C’mon guys… If you had the chance to turn back time and redo everything, would you? To ensure he isn’t alone… to ensure he’s surrounded by everyone, with love. To ensure he’ll still be alive at this very moment?”
The silence you receive as a response is an automatic yes. You stand up and put your hand in the middle, higher than the small bonfire smoke.
“Starting tomorrow, no matter what we’re doing, we’re going to do something for him. Make our regrets go away. Something… Anything… So I can keep going without wanting to end it all.”
One by one, they guys put a hand in the middle. With the determination as their leader, you have them follow your lead.
“Together.” You say, looking into their eyes. “EXO….”
“Saranghaja!” Everyone says proudly together.
Just as you watch the hands from everyone fly in the air, your vision turns blurry. Sooner or later, all you can see is white. You attempt to scream and shout for help, but nothing comes out of your mouth. After what feels like minutes, the white you see fades slowly, from light grey, to grey, to black. What’s going on?
Suddenly, you feel the warmth of another person and your walking up steps. Someone holds your left hand, guiding you in your blindness.
“Where am I?” You question. Oh I can finally speak.
“Just a little while longer, Eunsoo-ah, watch your step.” The familiar voice says cheerfully.
He walks you to the roof of school. There, a table, two chairs and musicians. You inhale and smell something so familiar.
“Kimchi Spaghetti!” You smile. K-kyungsoo!
“I made it for our lunch.” Kyungsoo sits you down.
Instead of sitting across from you, he sits right next to you and attempts to feed you. The music starts to play.
“Say Ahhhh~” Kyungsoo smiles. His hand rests on your shoulder, while his other hand holds the spaghetti with chopsticks.
“Kyungsoo… is it really you!” You raise your hands to touch his face, feeling his bone structure and milk soft skin. You hear him put the chopsticks back down on the plate. Your heart beats faster for every second that pasts by and your face burns hot.
As your fingers brush against his mouth, he smiles and you outline his plump lips. Gently, he pulls you into an embrace. “Your so silly. Of course it’s me. Why would I ever leave you?”
Notes
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH I'm literally screaming CAUSE I'M SO EXCITED to announce to you, I will be having a SEQUEL to this story~!It took me a while to think of plot and what not, but finally, it's been put together. SOON, I will be proud to present to you, "Sight Beyond Sight" which is the official title of my sequel *proud author-nim right here*
I hope you'll like it as much as I am excited to write it! Stay in touch with me and this site to see it's upcoming "debut."
Love you lots~~~~~
~Alexis Thao
P.S. DON'T KILL ME OR ANYTHING, but I thought about OPTION A... and I was wondering what would their jobs be if they were to split up? SO I created an unofficial, yet official, list of their occupations, if OPTION A were true (WHICH I'M SURE AS HELL WILL NEVER HAPPEN)
Sehun: Bubble Tea Company <-- XD BWAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA
Kai: 1Million Dance Studio OWNER... like c'mon.
Baekhyun: LEAGUE OF LEGENDS MASTER (WITH ASSISTANT SUPER JUNIOR HEECHUL)
Chanyeol: SOLO ARTIST <-- DUH ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Xiumin: Coffee shop co-owner, "Deer & Dumpling CO." LUHAN AND XIUMIN ARE MEANT 2 BE
Luhan: Coffee shop co-owner, "Deer & Dumpling CO."
Kris: ...who knows. XD. MOST LIKELY A BASKETBALL PLAYER OR ACTOR
Kyungsoo: SUPER POPULAR ACTOR. Especially for horror movies ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yixing: SOLO ARTIST <-- Yes I put that in bold because LAY IS MY UNICORN
Jongdae: MUSIC SCHOOL <-- He's always got that warm feeling towards others.
Tao: Probably take over his fathers company... he doesn't seem THAT successful atm
SUHO: Lawyer. BWAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA He was the only one who graduated college AND the only one who looks like he can be one. XD
OKAY, I HAD to show you one more thing ahahhaahaa. I watched this over and over again, evaluating what each member was doing and here are my comments (LMFAO)
Chanyeol: Goddammit, what are you doing with that chair?
Kai: What was kai about to do?
Kyungsoo: Worshipping god much? AHAHHAHAHA ME
Chen: Is it just me or does it look like he coughs in the end?
Lay: He's so done with everyone XD
Suho: Why... just why
Xiumin: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
THE GIRL: AHAHHAHAHAHAH she must be like WTF did I sign up for?
Luhan: He still does that sign LOL. The same old deer
Kris: IN HIS OWN WORLD BWAHAHAHA
Tao: IN HIS OWN WORLD PART 2 and SEHUN CUTS HIM OFF AHAHAHA
Sehun: Was that latter too tall for you my boy?
Baekhyun: TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL idek what he's doing
LOVE YOU ALL~ *kisses through the screen* LOL you actually scrolled all the way down~ <3
Thank you for sharing.
12/4/17