Bridges

“YOU ARE A DAMN IDIOT! WAKE UP RIGHT NOW!” comes up to me at the same moment when the darkness gives way to a bright flash of light. “HANBIN!”
Jiwon is shaking my shoulders. How many times have I woken up by this way?
“I am here, please stop shaking me. Otherwise, life will truly leave me."
“Hanbin, you...” Jiwon puts his arms around me, hugs and swears quietly.
"What have I done this time?" I ask wearily, because I am still somewhere on the border between my two realities.
“It does not matter. I go not let you go. You will stay here, with me, do you understand?" Jiwon again says the same tone, when the answer "no" does not exist.
I look around. There is the broken mirror, the open window. The door is broken and there is a complete mess on the floor. New bruises are appearing on my wrists. Jiwon looks at me, and I do not understand why he does it as if he needs me.
“Hanbin, listen up” he takes my chin and makes me look directly into his eyes.” You will not do all this shit anymore. I am with you. I would not get you out this hell every time, if I did not want. I would just pass you into the hospital or show to anyone. If I do not care, I do not live with you and not share my life with you. Moreover, the most important thing. I would not have a sex with you only because of pity even if I would drunk to a death, Hanbin. Did you get it?”
I even do not nod, when he kisses me. He is gentle but a bit aggressive and I have no doubt in his words. I just cannot believe my happiness. A shiver instantly retreats and the cold and dark inside of me give way to the warmest feeling in the world.
"Come on, I will pour you some tea.”
Jiwon helps me to stand up, as always, and brings to the kitchen. I sit down, but still have a little faith in this reality. It is dawn, and I conclude that it is about six a.m. now. Jiwon brews two cups of tea and sits down on the other side of the table.
"Let's go to the balcony?” I offer. I need a fresh air right now.
"Well, come on," Jiwon shrugs and goes to get his jacket.
I push the door and go out. Cold sneaks under my shirt, and both cups begin to steam. Jiwon suddenly appears from behind, takes cups from my hands, puts them on the floor and tosses the jacket on my shoulders. I slip my arms into the sleeves and sit down on the threshold. Jiwon sits nearby. The first thing he does is takes out a pack of cigarettes. He rips pellucid film away with teeth and weights verge of the pack down with a thumb. He puts the filter between teeth, burns the edge of the cigarette and breathes in. Smoke sneaks between his lips, and I remember their taste.
Jiwon suddenly turns.
"You know, if you want to kiss me, just kiss. It is not necessarily to look at me with a look like this one and think long.”
I throw my eyebrows up and look at him, realizing what I have heard.
"Come here, buddy.”
He pulls me to him and gives me, perhaps, one of the best kisses. I understand that I am not afraid to fall asleep anymore.
Oh, and another fact is that Kim Jiwon is a devil-good kisser.

Notes