Gratefulness~ pt.1

It's friday. I’m leaving after one week and when I think about it my stomach iches.

I sit down on sofa in library. The farthest corner is called Retreat or more familiarly Retard. The sofas have been placed with no specific order and the students like to spend all their free time there. Riia, Hannes, Jare and some people from the first year class are hanging around.
I lift my legs on the back of the sofa in front of me and get my phone from my bag. I start to go through social medias but I realize that my friends have stopped talking and now they are staring at me.
"What?" I snap and put my phone down.
Riia looks a bit uncomfortable. “Well, umm”, she starts speaking. “Have you been in Facebook today?”
“No…” I answer marvelling.
“Oh”, she blurts. “Well, I guess I have to tell you then…”
“Tell what?”

“Joakim is in relationship with Johanna”, she says very fast like spitting the words out.
I feel a twinge of heart. I broke up with Joakim in August because he betrayed me with Johanna. I was feeling really bad until November but now I have started to get over the incident and over Joakim.
I really wouldn’t like to be reminded of him at all. But he was kind and considerate, warm and handsome. I got along with him really well and we had same kind of sense of humor. I have so many memories we gathered through those six months… But no one can ever take them away even though I sometimes hope someone would. It would hurt less...

“Oh”, I blurt. I slide in more relaxed posture and hide my face behind my phone. “I don’t care.”
“That’s so rude of them! Joakim really doesn’t have any brains! I thought he was so much wiser and I bet you did too… But let’s not talk about that anymore, Joakim is not worth it”, Riia comforts me and pats me lighty on the shoulder. Boys have been quiet but then they change the subject.
“When do they serve the christmas food in cafeteria?”

I spend my weekend planning the trip. I also start to pack the bags. I’m gonna take my big black suitcase with me which I have already packed half full. I want to have a big range of clothes so that I can change them according to every situation.
"Which dress should I take with me?" I ask Riia who is sitting on my american style bed and watching me. I’m holding two dresses in my hands. The first one is short and black and has some thin see-through fabric details and golden patterns on it. The other is made of chiffon, it’s mint green midi which has an open back. Riia is tilting her head and smirking.
“I can’t decide. They are both so pretty”, she says.
“Yep. They are. Well, I’ll just take them both”, I laugh. “I will maybe have to pay for extra weight in the airport but I do want to be well prepared for everything.” I fold and pack the dresses over my collage trousers and start to pick nail polishes in a pink makeup bag I got from Aada. Silver, glittery, white, nude, matte black…
“At least you are prepared in advance”, Riia gives a laugh and lays down on her side.
“Yep! I have to! I don’t want to forget anything.”

During the weekend I also try get as much sleep as possible because I know that I won’t be able to sleep after Wednesday.

On Monday I wake up early 6 am although my school lessons don’t start until 12. I get up sitting and strech my arms. Only four nights, I think by myself.
Because I have so much time, I decide to go to the gym. I put on my softshell trousers and hoodie. I button up my red parka jacket and grap my travel bag from wardrobe.

It’s snowing heavily. I lift the hood and wade under the street lights.
At the gym I change into my gym clothes: leggins and sporty top. I put my headband and gym shoes on. I walk in to the room humming Eyes, Nose, Lips song and I’m sure that there won’t be anyone at this time.
But then I see Tomi on one rack and he gets scared of my voice.
“Oh, good morning!” I greet him and lift some weight plates to leg press machine.
“Well good morning. How are you up so early”, he says back.
“I can’t get sleep because of the trip”, I laugh and sit down.
“Ooh, right”, he laughs and moves to get the dumbells. I do three sets and change to squat rack.
“What time did you come here?” I ask and puffer.
“After five. My sister got sick and she ran to the toilet and threw up so I woke up. I didn’t want to sleep anymore and I decided to do something reasonable.”
“Ooh okay. Well, hopefully, you won’t catch it.”
“Yep.” Tomi is a nice guy, maybe a little bit hopeless. He has never been good at school and he has never managed to keep a girlfriend more than two weeks. Tomi is very close to me and I have always felt that we have some kind of warm connection between us. A few years ago we almost started dating but I wasn’t ready for anything then. Now we both are free to do anything. But maybe it’s good this way.

Days go by slowly. Very, very slowly. I’m waiting for Friday to come like a rising sun and every second the excitement becomes a little stronger. Sara sends me reminders by text messages about what I have to remember to do and we talk a lot more now than we used to, which is nice. She’s like my soul sister, she understands everything.

I feel a little bit bad because on Wednesday Sara tells me that she feels a lot better. She had gotten a prescription for angina and now only a light cough and fever were hindering her. She was going to school again. I was wondering if I should ask her with me.

“Did you ask Sara with you?” mom asks while stirring the christmas rice porridge. I set the serviettes beautifully under the knives and forks. I’m think about the answer. I set the glasses on the upper corner of plates and fill the jug with glogg. I drop in a few raisins, but only a few because my brothers don’t like them.
“Huh?” mom asks persistently.
“Not yet”, I mutter quietly.
“Yet? The flight is tomorrow and you haven’t asked yet? When then? Are you, prehaps, going alone? I don’t want to let you go alone!” mom panics and looks me with angry face.
I set some gingerbreads on the tray.
“Well, she has been sick and I though that she couldn’t make it. But now she’s getting better”, I tell her.
“Well ask her right away so she has time to pack!”
“But I don’t know… It would be easier to be and move there alone”, I state and lift the jug on the table near salad.
“Are you gonna go alone then? Wouldn’t it be easier to move together?” mom drops an almond in the porridge.
“But what if we fight and argue and then Sara gets mad at me and goes wandering outside or something and I get worried and — “.
“But it’s only one weekend!”
“Yeah and there’s one other thing too”, I start quietly. “I may be staying longer because I will get a good discount of the room if I want to stay. And I really want to experience Hong Kong more than what I can in just two days.”
“Oh”, mom gets confused and looks me worried. She almost forgets to stir the porridge.
“You are coming home for the New Year, aren’t you?” she begs.
“Yes, I guess I will come home at least by then because we’re throwing a party with friends”, I smile so that she would stop worrying so much.
“Good…”
“Anton! Robert! Christmas food is ready!”

Notes

I'm dying because of that Hotel ICON ad up there ^^ haha:D what a coincidence...
(you can see what the hotel looks like on their web page if you are curious)

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Teaser for chapter 5