Lol - Lessons of Love {Break}

Sitting in the coffeeshop I was sipping on my Latte Macchiatto. Lay sitting next to me, watching me, watching every move I made which made me end up smiling. „Stop that!“ I said and started to laugh. „With what?“ He asked with his soft voice, smiling a smile which showed his cute dimples. „It's so nice to see you being happy again. Even those girls stopped to hate on you.“ My smile cracked a bit as he mentioned how the girls hated on me. Not only the harsh words in class. I also experienced other things I til now tried to forget.

„Lay please. Don't remind me of what they did to me. The only thing that matters is that Joonmyun and I are together again. I don't want to be reminded of that stupid girls in school.“ With this my heart started beating faster. Just thinking about him. My love. Kim Joonmyun.


I opened the door only in a top and in shorts but I already knew who the person was visiting me. „Come in Suho.“ He nodded and closed the door behind him slowly. „I guess we still have to talk about some things right?“ His soft voice cursed goosebumps all over my body. „We really should talk about everything.“ I said taking a deep breath. Both of us sat down on the couch facing each other.

With my fingers I played nervously watching every move Joonmyun made. How he stroke through his blonde hair, bit his lower lip and I noticed he was nervous as well. „I need to ask again. Was this girl you had a walk with really your sister? You walked hand in hand with her and for me it looked like, like she would be a girl you love.“ Joonmyun sighed out painfully. „That girl. She really is my sister. I haven't met her for ages and she visited me surprisingly. I was also surprised but thought we could take a walk and talk about things that happened the time we weren't able to talk with each other. We were holding hands because, well, we did that for ages since we were little kids. Don't you do that with your brother as well sometimes?“ I nodded blushing.

„Now. What about you? What happened really between you and Chanyeol?“ He asked softly, not as harsh anymore. „After I saw you with that girl, I mean your sister, I was so angry and sad and Chanyeol was the only one by then who knew about us because- Well he saw us once together in your car and counted one to one and he was right.“ I took a deep breath between the sentences. „Because I was so angry and sad and he was the only one who knew my problems- He was the only person I could go to and he was so nice to me. I shouldn't have kissed him since I know he already has a girlfriend-“ Suhos eyebrow lifted up and I tried not to say too much about it. „But trust me. It was just a stupid kiss and at this time I felt so lost. We stopped ourselfs before more could've happened. Trust me. You are the only one I ever … slept with since I can think. I never had a boyfriend before because people tend to think I'm a cold-hearted monster.“

He grabbed my hand and held it tight. „You aren't a cold-hearted monster Youna. You are the sweetest angel on this earth. I believe you. You are my everything and I'm sorry that things went so wrong.“ I started tearing up but wasn't able to cry. He held me tight in his arms, my head on his shoulder, his hands softly stroking over my back. „I love you Youna.“


„Youna? You here? Together with Yixing?“ It was a girl of my class. I barely spoke with her but I knew it wasn't good that she saw me here together with Lay. But I was too tired of this whole 'You betrayed Chanyeol you cold-hearted bitch'-thing. „What about Chanyeol? Huh?“ I sighed out loudly, trying to catch up some words but Lay was faster. „What are you doing here Chanmi? Huh? You are all alone here in the shop without anyone? Stop insulting Youna for cheating on someone! You don't even know what happened and if she even cheated on him? Get a life and stop making yourself feel better while someone else is feeling worse because of people like you.“ The girl teared up and without saying anything she left the coffeeshop. „T-that was mean of you.“ „Mean? I don't think it was worser than what those girls did to you.“ „You are right but- Why do you do this for me?“ „I do this because I like you and you are my friend.“ He said looking out of the window.


I couldn't sleep easily that night. Sleeping alone in that big house without anyone was always hard for me. I know I wasn't lonely, I had my friends and the boy who loved me. But somehow in a moment like that I felt so lonely, I felt not right. That girls would never stop insulting me it would never end. As much as I would hope for it to end, it wouldn't. Taeyong and Hyuna had a date, again and Taeyong would sleep at Hyunas home. Joonmyeon had to work til late at night since he needed to finish correcting some important exams. With Chanyeol I haven't talked for ages since things were going to be worser than expected. The only one who could be there for me now would probably be Sehun or Lay. But I also bothered Lay too often the last days. I was a burden. A burden to him and anyone else.

I was a burden

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