My Heart is For....

Hyun POV
I woke up “I was in the ward?” I realize I fainted back there “Daehyun!” I start to remember and try to get out of the bed. My body is still weak “I have to see him!” I said to myself I jump out the bed, with my bare foot, I try to walked to the door. Suddenly someone opened up the door; he’s wearing the hospital cloth. I blinked my eyes, he was Daehyun. He walked in and smiled at me. “Daehyun-ah!” I yelled and run to him. I hug him tight and not letting him go, “Ouch careful, I got operation remember” he said to me while smiling, “Wait how many days that I fainted?” I asked myself “Ahh fuck the day, just ignore it as long Daehyun was still alive” slowly I let him go “Daehyun-ah, I thought you already dead. They said they can’t save you.” I start to cry and keep mumble. “I hate that doctor!” I said to him, he wiped my tears “Who is that doctor? Let me beat him” he said to me while looking around. “Let sit down my stomach hurt” he said to me and he walked slowly to the bed. His big hand holding my hand “I won’t let this hand go anymore, never” I mumble “Sit here beside me” he said to me gently, I just followed what he said. I touch his face, he looks so pale “You know what, I thought I can’t see you again” I said to him. He just strokes my hair “You really care about me Hyun-ah?” he asked me. “I love you Daehyun-ah, I love you for a long time” I said to him, I can’t hold it anymore. I just want to confess to him. I look straight to his eyes, he look so shocked “You love me too? Why you didn’t tell me before?” he said while blushing. “You never respond me” I said to him while look down. I look back at him and smile “Just forget it, I’m glad you are here Daehyun” I said to him and keep hug him, he just smiled. “Remember when you said I have to confess you in proper way?” he said to me. I nodded and start to blushed. He takes my hand and clears his throat “Kim Young Hyun… I love you so much. I really want you to be mine, will you?” he asked me, I didn’t say anything, I pulled him and kissed his lips. He blinked his eyes and stutter a bit “Well I want to tell you properly on your birthday” he said while blushing. Before I could say anything he said something “Hey do you remember small box that you found inside my bag?” he said to me while holding my hand “The box that you hide from me? Yeah I know. Why?” I asked him. “Well you can have it” he said to me. “Really? What was inside that box?” I asked him. He just smiled “You will see, it a surprise” he rub my hand. He touched my face and keep staring at me “Why are you staring at me like that?” I said to him. “Just because… I just want to record your face, your smile, your nose, your eyes, your lips…” he said to me. That weird “Are you on drug or what?” I said to him. He giggles; I lay my head on his shoulder and hold tight his hand. “I can’t imagine what will happen to me if you not here right now” I spoke, he touch my face “What if I’m not here?” he asked me. “I probably going to die too” I reply him with serious face. He poked my cheek “Don’t be baboo, you must stay alive no matter what” he look straight into my eyes. “How can I live without you” I said to him, “Baboo” he turn away. He is crying, “Hey why are you crying?” I try to hold his face, “No, nothing” he replied to me. “Are you too happy to see me?” I tease him. “I’m glad to see you” he kissed my cheek. “I want to stay with you forever like this” I said to him while holding his hand “Let’s grow old together” I said to him, he kiss my forehead “Hyun-ah, I have to go” he tried to get up. I pulled him “Go where? The nurse looking for you?” I asked him, he just stared at me with his sad face “What with that face? Just stay here with me ok?” I start to pouted and pulled his cloth “You will come back right?” I asked him “I’m not sure but I just need to go right now” he said to me while rubbing my hand “What are you talking about?” I feel so strange. He tried to get up and standing in front of me. I stared at him “Daehyun-ah, why you said something like that?” I start to feel nervous “Something not right here” I said to myself, it’s like he is going to leave me forever. I feel so sad right now, my heart start to hurt. Once again he touch my face, “Ya stop touching my face and said you want to go. You make me nervous” I yelled at him while take his hand. “Closed your eyes” his voice start to tremble, I just followed what he said. I touched his face and I can feel his tear flow down “Why are you crying Daehyun-ah” I said to him and my tears start to fall down too without knowing; I feel his cold hand wipe my tears. “Why is your hand so cold?” He didn’t say anything, he start to kissed me this time bit longer, suddenly he spoke “I love you Young Hyun” he said “I love you too Daehyun-ah” I opened my eyes and hold his hand tight “I’m sorry, I wish I could stay bit more longer and be with you but I can’t” he said to me while crying “What are you talking about?” I stare his face. “I’m confused. What are you trying to say?” I start to cry too. “Don’t go” I try to grab his hand but he let me go “My time is over… Promise me that you will stay alive” he said to me, “No! Jung Daehyun!” I try to reach him, he smile to me while his tear fall down “Good bye my Hyun”. My eyes start to feel heavy “What happening?” my body feels so weak, looks like he say something. I tried to read his lips, he say “Saranghae…” I closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes, I was lying on the bed. I start to wake up quickly, I hold my head, it so dizzy. I saw Kiseop near me sleeping he was holding my hand. “Daehyun-ah where are you?” I start to cry again. Kiseop wake up, “You are awake he said to me. “Where is Daehyun? I saw him? He was here just now? Where is he?” I start sobbing, Kiseop just look at me and hug me. “Hyun-ah, calm down” he said to me. I pushed him “But he was here I saw him, he even said that…” before I could finish Kiseop hug me again. “You fainted after the doctor tells you about Daehyun, you just lying here 8 hours ago” he said to me. “No! This is not true, he was here. Don’t tell me it just a dream!” I feel the pain inside my heart. I still can’t take it I start to get up and try to find Daehyun. “He here I know Kiseop please believe me, Daehyun still alive” I said to him. He just holds my hand and wiped my tear. “I have seen him, I will bring you to him” he said to me calmly. “Where? His ward? Bring me there” I said to him. I walked to the corridor, I just followed Kisoep, I look at the signboard “Morgue?” I feel so strange “This is not funny” I said to Kiseop. “Hyun-ah wakes up! He already dead” he shake my shoulder. I saw him back there, I’m really sure about it. The nurse open one of the box, she pulled out the tray. “This is not him” I said to myself. I pulled the white fabric down. My feet feel so weak, it was Daehyun. “This is not real, no…” I start to cry again. I touch his face, “Daehyun you liar!” I burst into tears while looking at his face. He look like sleeping “He just sleeping” I said to Kiseop. Kiseop just hug me from the back and didn’t say anything. I start to cry out loud, “Why Daehyun? Why did you leave me? You promise me” I cried like a crazy person. After a few minutes, I start to calm a bit “Can you leave me for a moment” I asked Kiseop. “You will be ok right?” he asked me, I just nodded and give him a bitter smile. Kiseop just give a time to be with Daehyun for the last time, “Daehyun-ah, I love you” I said to him and kissed his lips, I hold up my sad heart. I touch his face and cry, I look at his chest “What they have done to you?” it because of the operation. I can’t look at the wound at his stomach, it breaks my heart. “This is my fault” I punched my chest and keep cry. For the last time I kissed his forehead. I try to walk out the door; my body says that I have to go but my heart says I should stay. It was so hard to say goodbye to him. I standing in front of the door, Kiseop come to me and hug me. I feel like my souls were taken away. I was in Kiseop arm, I’m so space out right now “I’m here for you” he said to me. When I heard that I cry a lot. The same things, Daehyun have said it to me before. The nurse handed me Daehyun’s stuff, I take it. I opened his bag, try to find the box. I found it and start to cry, “That dream seem to be real” I start to mumble, I hug his beg so tight. The scent of him, his smell, I feel like he was right here beside me. Kiseop didn’t say anything he just takes me home.

A few days after the funeral

Kiseop POV
She change a lot, she always space out. After we went back from the hospital she tried to kill herself. Lucky I was with her that night, she went inside her room she took a knife and try to cut her hand. That night I sleep at her place, I wait for her. Sometime she will cry and blame herself, sometime she will hurt herself. “It’s my fault, because of me Daehyun died!” she said while crying. I always try to calm her down and stay for her. I take her house spare key in case something happen. I’m afraid that she will do something stupid when she was alone. It’s been a few days right now, there she is inside her room, sit beside her window holding some box. She just hold it, I never saw her opening it. That box was from Daehyun. She won’t want to eat or do anything, she look so skinny. I closed the door, bring the food and walked near her, she didn’t notice me. I put down the food tray and rub her head, she look at me “Kiseop sunbae” she said while give me a bitter smile, her lips chapped. “You should eat here let me feed you” I said to her. She just look out of the window, she always act like this since the funeral. I sigh “Hyun-ah stop being like this” I said to her “Until when you want to stay like this?” I hold her shoulder. She just ignored me, “You are the strong girl Hyun-ah, even you cry everyday it won’t bring Daehyun back to life. All you can do is move on and start to live your life” she stared at me and start to cry. “Stop being like this, everybody is worried about you” I hold her hand, “I’m worried about you” I said to her. “I want to see your bright smile again, please stop cry and move on” I said to her while touch her face. I sit in front of her and take the porridge. “Here eat some” I try to feed her, “Come on open up and eat” I said to her. She look at me “I’m sorry for making you worried” she cried again “Aish stop cry, see my hand start to shake because you take a long time to eat” I try to make her smiled. She smiled. “There, I saw you smiled. Are you happy for bullying me?” I said to her and pouted. She just smiled “I’m sorry” she said to me. “It’s ok, I’m just kidding. Here eat this” I said while feeding her. She gets better day by day, she starts to attend the college but I still didn’t see her smiled like before.

Hyun POV
I look at the Daehyun’s box, I didn’t open it yet. I always carried it with me, when I hold it I feel like Daehyun were with me. Today was my birthday; I was at my class today, that evening I walked to the music room. I looked around this is the place where I hide from him and Kiseop. I start to remember the memory. I take out the small cakes from my bag, cheese cake with strawberry on top of it. He always buys this cake for my birthday. I sit near the piano, I stared at the box. “Today is the day” I said to myself. Slowly I open up the box, inside it got lots picture of us, it all our memory together. My heart feel so hurt right now, I feel like crying. There is a gold sack inside it too. I take it out, I opened it. There were a necklace and a letter inside it. “It so beautiful” I hold my tears, clover leaf pendant with a small diamond, I start to cry, “For Hyun” it write in front of the red letter, “His hand writing” I mumbles and my tear flow down makes the letter wet. I opened up carefully and start to read it.

Happy Birthday to You Hyun-ah!

Hahaha you are getting older, we have become friend for 4 years. Wow that was too long right? Please be save Hyun, don’t get sad easily. If you are sad just remember all the stupid things we did together. Don’t get closer to Kiseop it makes me jealous. I have something to tell you. This year, you will get most precious present from me. Hyun-ah it hard to say this but even it makes me nervous to write this I don’t know if you will accept it or not. I really want to tell you, I Love you Hyun. You have change me a lot Hyun-ah, I feel so thankful for you. Aish… This is so embarrassing to write something like this. I want to properly confess to you soon. Will you accept me as your birthday present this year? If you accept my request please wear this necklace and meet me. See you at the fountain at 6 o’clock, I will wait for you there.
I will always be with you forever. Here some kiss from me Chu chu Chu~

P/s: I know you like clover leaf so I hope you will accept this necklace. You must always wear this ok? Look behind the clover leaf.

Sincerely
Jung Daehyun
(Your future Boyfriend)

I take the letter and put it to my chest, “Daehyun you baboo, will you be at the fountain today?” I cover my eyes and start to cry slowly "Hurt, my chest is hurt" I said to myself. He still remember that high school things? “Stupid Jung Daehyun” I said while sobbing, I really want to see him. I fold the letter nicely and put it back inside the box. I start to think of him again, “Daehyun-ah why you leave me? You said you want to be with me forever” I said while look at our picture. I look at behind the clover “Daehyun girl” I start to burst into tears again now “How can he write something like this?” I don’t know I should cry or laugh. Suddenly my memory with him start to flow inside my mind, the moment when we laugh, the moment when we argue to each other, all the sweet and bad memory. I still remember the dream, when he confessed to me to keep his promise to me. I hold my chest and I closed my eyes. “I will come to you, lets meet up at the fountain. You hear me?” I spoke weakly. I take some poison from my pocket. I have prepared it earl, I try to drink it “I don’t care anymore, I’m sorry Kiseop sunbae. Daehyun-ah I’m coming”. Before I could drink it somebody grab my hand “What are you doing?” he said to me. When I opened up my eyes, I saw Yongguk in front of me.

Yongguk POV
I heard something, I try to get up. I saw that same girl again “She was Daehyun best friend, that girl before” I said while looking at her. She was looking at something, she look so sad. Sometimes she will smile and sometimes she will cry. I don’t know why but I feel sad to see her like that, I just watched her from distance. She reading something and start to cry. I saw the necklace “That necklace. Daehyun show it to me before” I said to myself. I feel like I have to be with her, why is she so attractive? I try to avoid her but I can’t stand to see her cry. I heard she said “I will come to you” she grabbed something from her pocket; it makes me uneasy, it look like she want to kill herself. She closed her eyes and tried to drink it. Quickly I walked near her and grab her hand. Look like she shocked, “Are you crazy?!” I yelled at her “Let me go!” she starts to struggle. I take the bottle and threw it away. I hug her “Why are you so stupid?” I said to her, she just cry “Let me go! Let me go to Daehyun!” she yelled at me and try to pushed me. She was in my arm right now, she keep sobbed “Hey I know you are sad, but killing yourself is not the best way” I try to calm her. She didn’t say anything, I touch her face and wiped her tears “Stop crying, he will be more sad if he find out you being like this” she start to tear up again. I hug her again “You Baboo… Just don’t give up easily. Never give up” I don’t know why but I feel like I have to be with her right now. She looks pale and need to be protected.

Hyun POV
I was so shocked by Yongguk word, the first time he being nice to me. I thought he was a cold man but he was also kind and soft. I feel the warmth of his hug. It makes me calm a bit, he was right. I just can’t think straight after read the letter “Mianhae Daehyun for being stupid” I said in my heart. Slowly I pushed Yongguk “Thanks for stopping me. Sorry for act like stupid” I said and looked other way. “Everybody makes their mistake” he said to me calmly. I sat in front of the piano wipe up my tears, he walk to me. “Today is your birthday?” he asked. I just nodded. He look at my cake, he light up the candle “Here make a wishes” he smiled at me. I just stared at the candle, same thing Daehyun used to do. Almost tear up again, slowly I blow “I wish I could meet him” I mumble again. “Sorry I have no present for you, but here take this” he handed me something. It was his ring, “You don’t have to” I try to give back. “Just take it” he put it in my hand. I start to blushed “Thanks” my phone start to ringing it was Kiseop. “I will get going now” I said to him and take all my stuff. I try to pick up the poison bottle he quickly grab it. “I will keep this one” he smile at me. I start to blush his smile was so beautiful, so hard to see he smiling. “I will get going now” I walked to the door. “Hey” suddenly he call for me, I turned and look at him “If you need someone to talk to I will be here for you” he said to me. I just nodded and start to run. What am I doing? Am I stupid try to killed myself again. I have promise Kiseop about this. If he know it he will be sad, but thanks to Yongguk for makes me realize once again. I walked slowly, look at the pendant and hold it tight. I can feel Daehyun when I closed my eyes while holding it. “I’m sorry Daehyun-ah… Are you here?” I talked to myself. I sit under the tree that I used to be, I look at the ring that Yongguk give to me. “Too big” I try to wear it. The wind slowly blow makes me cold a bit. I feel like something covering my back, I look up I saw Kiseop. He put his jacket on me. He was smiling at me “I found you” he said to me. I smiled at him, he sit next to me. “I was looking for you all day where have you been? Why you didn’t pick up the phone?” he starts to nag. He look at my face “Are you crying again?” he makes some serious face. He touched my face, I just didn’t reply him. “Aish let go home your face is so cold” he said to me and try to get up. He give me his hand, I take his hand and walked home with him. I was thankful he always be with me. “Never give up” suddenly I spoke up. He look at me “What did u said?” he asked. I shook my head “Nothing” and I smiled. I just remember the word that Yongguk said to me. Thanks Yongguk.

Yongguk POV
What am I doing? Giving the ring so sudden? Aish stupid me. But she look terrible today, it because of Daehyun. When I went to the funeral, I saw her sat at the corner. Like her soul has flew away somewhere. I want to talk to her but she like not there. I talked to Kiseop, he said that she won’t talked to anyone even himself. Both of us have some conversation outside the room “Is she ok?” I asked Kiseop, he look down “She almost killed herself before”. “What?!” I shocked. “Yeah, she love Daehyun too much, she even said she will died for him” he sigh. I just listen to his story “She keep cry all night, she even lose her mind. What should I do hyung?” he asked me. “Just give her sometime” I reply him. “Well Daehyun also my friend, in same night two of my friend was in accident” I said to him “Who else?” Kiseop asked “Himchan, you know him right? He almost died in a car crashed” I said “What? Is he ok now?” Kiseop asked me. “Yeah, but still unconscious he was so lucky” I said to him. “So many things happen" I said to Kiseop "Yeah but loosing Daehyun…” Kiseop said while holding his sadness and almost cry “If I was hurry that day” he said to me and sit on the chair. “The past is the past, at least you have try your best to save him” I pat his shoulder. While I was thinking about that night, suddenly my phone ringing “Hello, ah Hyung” it was Yongnam. “Hey I want to visit Himchan, want to come?” he asked. “Of course, meet you there Hyung” I hang up. That Himchan, make me worried. The doctor said with his condition that night he would die, he was so lucky because that time they have heart donor. He got broken ribs, neck, short amnesia, scratch everywhere and also heart damage because of the car crashed. Now he was in the hospital still resting. Arrived at the hospital, saw Himchan lay down on the bed. He still didn’t know about Daehyun. We plan to tell him when he fully recovered a bit, the doctor said he can’t have any shocked news in his condition. “Hey… The twins came” he said weakly, “How are you?” I asked him. “Ok I guess, I can’t move too much” he said while closed his eyes. “Aish so how was your life in the hospital?” Yongnam tease him “Hyung” I pushed Yongnam hand. “Hehe not bad, they got sexy nurse here” he replied and coughed. “Yeah…” they both look at each other, I just laugh. “Crazy people” I said to myself. I looked out the window “How is Hyun right now? Is she ok?” I asked myself

Notes