Stars

The next day, Leo texted me.
‘Don’t see Luhan too often OK?’
I was a shocked at his text. Why did he think I would just stop hanging out with Luhan?
‘Why? What’s wrong with hanging out with him?’ I texted back. I was so frustrated and confused. My cheeks burned red.
‘I think he likes you and I don’t want you to give him the wrong impression. Unless you like him back…’
Why was he so concerned about this anyways? Luhan’s friendship didn’t involve Leo.
‘Luhan and I are just friends. He likes someone already. I don’t understand why you’re concerned.’
‘How can you be sure that the person he likes isn’t you?’
With each text, my blood boiled even more. For one thing, he was telling me off, another thing was that we were arguing over text messaging. If he wanted to address something like this, he could try to discuss this in real life.
‘He doesn’t like me. He wouldn’t like me.’
I suddenly felt a sadness over come me. Is this what Leo was really like? Someone who was selfish and inconsiderate? I felt sick.
‘Don’t worry about it. Just…don’t give him the wrong idea.’ Somehow, his text reminded me of Cameron and a little smile spread on my face.
‘It’s OK. I won’t give him the wrong idea…’ I was about to finish the sentence with ‘because I like you.’ But i wasn’t sure if I did like Leo. Or if I liked anyone at all. So I just sent ‘It’s OK. I won’t give him the wrong idea. We’re just friends and I intend to stay that way with him.’
Leo didn’t reply back after that text.
Why was I so confused? I didn’t know if I liked anyone, I didn’t know if I liked Leo or…Hyuk…or Sehun. It made me sick. I couldn’t like three people at once. Could I?

To distract myself from these thoughts, I decided to take out my text books and study. I needed to focus more on my studies if I wanted to be like my dad when I grow up. I should be focusing more on my education, rather than my relationship with people.

After school on the next day, Leo came to pick me up and he offered to take me out to eat. I had to decline. Need to focus on my studies more. He did seem sad, and I did want to go with him, but I was getting lazy with my homework.

Leo walked me home like usual. He walked me all the way to my front door. “I’m sorry for being out of line the other day, when I was messaging you…” he said shyly. I looked into his eyes. I didn’t know how to reply to him. What was I supposed to say? ‘It’s Ok because I know you’re taking care of me’? No way. ‘It’s Ok because everyone gets jealous.’? Definitely not. Eyes still locked onto mine, Leo brought his fingers to my face and tucked hair behind my ear. He did it slowly and left his fingers behind my ear. He looked deeply into my eyes, and I felt vulnerable. I felt like he could see inside me. He slowly leaned forward, bringing his face close to mine and he angled his face slightly. What’s happening? Are we going to kiss? Is this going to be a kiss? As our faces became closer and closer, my heart jumped out of my chest. I closed my eyes and my heart beat rung in my ears. I felt his breath on my lips and I knew it was the right moment. I heard the front door open behind me and Leo and I jerked away from each other. I turned around to find Cindy walking out of the house. “Mel!” she said, surprised. “You’re home…” she stopped talking when she saw Leo. “Where are you going?” I asked her. My heart was still racing in my chest and I needed to calm down. “I’m going to hang out with Nathan.” Cindy said with an embarrassed smile on her face. I smiled widely at her. “Have fun.” I said. A man on a motorbike pulled up in our drive way and before she walked off, she informed me that mum and dad weren’t home yet, Cindy hopped on the back. I guessed that it was Nathan. When they drove off I sighed. Cindy just had to ruin the moment, didn’t she? “Well…See you tomorrow.” Leo said quietly. He leaned forward again, quicker this time. I closed my eyes and puckered my lips, but his kiss landed on my forehead. My heart sunk. “See you.” I said. He walked off and I entered my house. Luckily I was home alone. I could act like an idiot without anyone questioning me. I lied on the couch, in a child’s pose. I tucked my knees under me and my forehead rested on the couch. I can’t believe I almost kissed Leo. And I cant believe our moment was ruined. I thought we could continue our moment, but I guess he didn’t feel the same. He kissed me on the…forehead. Isn’t that where you kiss your siblings and stuff? No! I didn’t want to be like a little sister to him. I didn’t want him to think I am a little kid who needed to be protected and escorted home all the time. I wanted him to see me differently.

Notes