Just A Number
Chapter 59
*Yuna’s POV *
I wiped the tears away as I was calming myself down. I waited a long time for this moment to happen, it’s finally happening….and I’m finally telling him how it all destroyed me. “I know now…the pain I’ve caused you, the confusion, all of it, I know I was--, am a selfish son of a bitch. I don’t….expect you to ever forgive me because I don’t deserve it…I just…wanted to see you…just wanted to see…if you’re alright. I never…I never stopped thinking about you, no matter who I’m with you’re always there. There were so many times I tried to run from the thoughts of you, when really, no matter where I am, I always find you in whatever I do.”
He…never stopped thinking about me? He scratched the back of his head, “I’m happy for you and…Jeongguk. Yuna I,” he paused looking down at the desk, “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, even if it wasn’t with me. You deserve it, you’ve done so much for me and I just couldn’t see it until it was late, I just…want you happy.”
He slowly looks up at me and I was speechless again, we both were silent. Why is he saying all of this, it’s just….so different. All this time I thought…I don’t know, I just thought…it wouldn’t have been like this. I want to deeply hate him, I hate him, I hate him. I lick my lips looking down at my hands,
“You weren’t…always selfish,” I said, a smile slightly appearing on my face.
*Flashback *
“Hold still, hold still,” I blew on Yoongi’s face making sure everything was perfect, “This is fucking ridiculous,” he mumbles with his eyes closed, “Oh hush,” I added a quick touch up before spinning his chair around, “Okay, you can open your eyes,” he opened them and his mouth dropped as he looked in the mirror, “Ya like?” I asked cheesing, “Y-you, you turned me into a chic?!?!”
His eyes wide open bewildered, he touched the wig on him and his face covered in makeup, “A cute chic that is. You’re…actually a really pretty girl.” He turns around looking at me still in shock, “You said light make up!! This is far from it!!”
“Hey you said you will help me model some techniques I learned watching makeup tutorials, I need to get better before I start beauty school in a few months and I have no one to practice on!” “You couldn’t get Minyong to help!?” “She’s on vacation with her family all I have is you!” I patted the top of his head.
“You’re so lucky I love you,” he sighs shaking his head slouching in the chair, “W-what was that?” I looked back at him, his eyes widen as he realized what he just said, “What did you say Yoongi?” he slowly looks up at me not answering, “You…love me?” He looks down at the floor a smile growing on his face.
“yes.”
He answered. “I do.” I felt my heart starting to beat a thousand times per second, Yoongi loves me. He got up and gently grabbed my face kissing me, “I love you too,” I say pulling back, “you’re always there and helping with anything I need…thank you Yoongi, thank you so much,” “Of course that’s my job,” he leans in for another kiss but I pushed his face away,
“Um…I’ll be comfortable if you didn’t look like a girl…and didn’t have lipstick on.” I laughed, he flipped his wig,
“You’re just jealous I’m prettier than you.”
*Yuna’s POV *
It was weird as we were both laughing reminiscing on memories for half an hour, I didn’t expect it to turn out like this. “Tell me what hurts the most is it remembering or forgetting…” he said zoned out looking past me, I looked up at him not sure whether or how to answer that, he cleared his throat, “So uh, how many months are you?” He snapped back into reality, pretty sure he mustered up the courage to ask, I looked down at my belly, “oh, well I’m 7 months today.” “Boy or girl?” “Girl.”
He nodded his head half smiling, it’s awkward. “Jeongguk, I know he’s treating you well, he’s a nice kid.” The smile on my face slightly went away when I just remembered we’re not on speaking terms as of right now, “yeah,” I said rubbing my belly, “You…knew him well?” I looked up at him.
He nodded his head, “I produced his first album…small world huh?” I’ll say! “In a way…he sort of helped me become less cold. I never knew it was a life lesson I needed, I must admit the kid is special and I’m glad to I have gotten to know him.” He smiled to himself, “Out of everyone in the entire world I’m…glad you ended up with him.” I was starting to get emotional again, it was just hard to face Yoongi again, to know everything is over between us...well officially, and to know…I don’t love him anymore.
I quickly wiped away a tear that was streaming down my cheek. I really...just want to see Jungkook, I really miss him. “I uh, should get going Yoongi,” I say slowly getting up from the seat, he nodded not looking at me, “I guess we can finally say we got closure huh?” I said trying my best not to cry again, “Yeah,” he whispers, he got up from his seat putting his hands in his pockets, “So here’s your farewell…I wish you nothing but the best.” He looks up at me smiling that wasn’t meeting his eyes, I half smiled and turned around to walk out of the music room for one last time but couldn’t resist, “Yoongi,” I turned around again, “Have you always loved me?...real or not real?”
he slowly looks back up at me licking his lips,
“Yuna I always loved you, I will always love you, so real.”
I wiped the tears away as I was calming myself down. I waited a long time for this moment to happen, it’s finally happening….and I’m finally telling him how it all destroyed me. “I know now…the pain I’ve caused you, the confusion, all of it, I know I was--, am a selfish son of a bitch. I don’t….expect you to ever forgive me because I don’t deserve it…I just…wanted to see you…just wanted to see…if you’re alright. I never…I never stopped thinking about you, no matter who I’m with you’re always there. There were so many times I tried to run from the thoughts of you, when really, no matter where I am, I always find you in whatever I do.”
He…never stopped thinking about me? He scratched the back of his head, “I’m happy for you and…Jeongguk. Yuna I,” he paused looking down at the desk, “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, even if it wasn’t with me. You deserve it, you’ve done so much for me and I just couldn’t see it until it was late, I just…want you happy.”
He slowly looks up at me and I was speechless again, we both were silent. Why is he saying all of this, it’s just….so different. All this time I thought…I don’t know, I just thought…it wouldn’t have been like this. I want to deeply hate him, I hate him, I hate him. I lick my lips looking down at my hands,
“You weren’t…always selfish,” I said, a smile slightly appearing on my face.
*Flashback *
“Hold still, hold still,” I blew on Yoongi’s face making sure everything was perfect, “This is fucking ridiculous,” he mumbles with his eyes closed, “Oh hush,” I added a quick touch up before spinning his chair around, “Okay, you can open your eyes,” he opened them and his mouth dropped as he looked in the mirror, “Ya like?” I asked cheesing, “Y-you, you turned me into a chic?!?!”
His eyes wide open bewildered, he touched the wig on him and his face covered in makeup, “A cute chic that is. You’re…actually a really pretty girl.” He turns around looking at me still in shock, “You said light make up!! This is far from it!!”
“Hey you said you will help me model some techniques I learned watching makeup tutorials, I need to get better before I start beauty school in a few months and I have no one to practice on!” “You couldn’t get Minyong to help!?” “She’s on vacation with her family all I have is you!” I patted the top of his head.
“You’re so lucky I love you,” he sighs shaking his head slouching in the chair, “W-what was that?” I looked back at him, his eyes widen as he realized what he just said, “What did you say Yoongi?” he slowly looks up at me not answering, “You…love me?” He looks down at the floor a smile growing on his face.
“yes.”
He answered. “I do.” I felt my heart starting to beat a thousand times per second, Yoongi loves me. He got up and gently grabbed my face kissing me, “I love you too,” I say pulling back, “you’re always there and helping with anything I need…thank you Yoongi, thank you so much,” “Of course that’s my job,” he leans in for another kiss but I pushed his face away,
“Um…I’ll be comfortable if you didn’t look like a girl…and didn’t have lipstick on.” I laughed, he flipped his wig,
“You’re just jealous I’m prettier than you.”
*Yuna’s POV *
It was weird as we were both laughing reminiscing on memories for half an hour, I didn’t expect it to turn out like this. “Tell me what hurts the most is it remembering or forgetting…” he said zoned out looking past me, I looked up at him not sure whether or how to answer that, he cleared his throat, “So uh, how many months are you?” He snapped back into reality, pretty sure he mustered up the courage to ask, I looked down at my belly, “oh, well I’m 7 months today.” “Boy or girl?” “Girl.”
He nodded his head half smiling, it’s awkward. “Jeongguk, I know he’s treating you well, he’s a nice kid.” The smile on my face slightly went away when I just remembered we’re not on speaking terms as of right now, “yeah,” I said rubbing my belly, “You…knew him well?” I looked up at him.
He nodded his head, “I produced his first album…small world huh?” I’ll say! “In a way…he sort of helped me become less cold. I never knew it was a life lesson I needed, I must admit the kid is special and I’m glad to I have gotten to know him.” He smiled to himself, “Out of everyone in the entire world I’m…glad you ended up with him.” I was starting to get emotional again, it was just hard to face Yoongi again, to know everything is over between us...well officially, and to know…I don’t love him anymore.
I quickly wiped away a tear that was streaming down my cheek. I really...just want to see Jungkook, I really miss him. “I uh, should get going Yoongi,” I say slowly getting up from the seat, he nodded not looking at me, “I guess we can finally say we got closure huh?” I said trying my best not to cry again, “Yeah,” he whispers, he got up from his seat putting his hands in his pockets, “So here’s your farewell…I wish you nothing but the best.” He looks up at me smiling that wasn’t meeting his eyes, I half smiled and turned around to walk out of the music room for one last time but couldn’t resist, “Yoongi,” I turned around again, “Have you always loved me?...real or not real?”
he slowly looks back up at me licking his lips,
“Yuna I always loved you, I will always love you, so real.”
Notes
I wrote the last part and it made me think of this one song by As It Is, and used a lyric or two, I thought it would fit really well saying goodbye.
Still Remembering
♥ ❤ ♥
10/5/18