"Okay, yeah. Like twenty minutes. Are you home? I'll facetime you! Okay. Okay, bye!" Seunghyun hangs up his phone and slips it back into his pocket. "Sorry about that," he says.

Daesung has stopped in his tracks to stare at him – or face him, at least; his eyes are narrowed so far that Seunghyun can't imagine he can actually see anything. "Who was that?" he asks, making up the few paces Seunghyun had continued walking before he noticed his friend was no longer beside him.

"The wrong number guy. Remember, I told you about him. He called me by mistake a few times, but then we started talking and now we're friends."

Deasung has a sly smile. “Who gets wrong numbers anymore?”

Seunghyun shrugs. “My number’s a digit off from the person he was trying to call.”

“But I thought you said he called a few times? How come he didn’t have their number saved to his phone?”

“Oh...it was his ex, actually. Jiyong said he didn’t want to waste space on his phone on such a vile person. That’s his name, by the way. The wrong number guy. Kwon Jiyong.” Seunghyun smiles, remembering Jiyong’s indignant tone when Seunghyun asked the same question Daesung just did. He comes out of his reverie after a moment and notices Daesung is watching him, looking very amused. “What’s so funny?” Seunghyun asks, a self-conscious little laugh escaping his throat.

"I don't know; I was wondering the same thing," Daesung says. "You've been grinning like crazy since he called."

Seunghyun shrugs, feeling silly. They've reached the entrance to the subway and in truth, he's itching to say goodbye to Daesung and get home as soon as possible so he can call Jiyong. "Nothing. I'm just in a good mood. It's Saturday. It's a good day."

Daesung crosses his arms, appraising Seunghyun. "How did you guys start talking again?"

"I don't know; it just kind of happened," says Seunghyun, eyes studying the sky as his mind flashes through a dozen early phone calls. "The first few times...I was just annoyed. And then maybe the fourth time, I was really annoyed, because I was waiting for a call from the firm to see if I got my job or not. And I told him that, and then the next time he called, he asked if I got it, and I told him I did, and I asked him about his breakup and...we just started talking."

“I can’t believe you, of all people, asked a complete stranger about his breakup.”

“I mean, I just asked how he was doing with it. I already knew it was an ex he was trying to call because the first two times he was tipsy and didn’t get that he had the wrong number at first. But he started telling me how terrible his ex was...I don’t know, he was really funny about it. Like, they way they actually broke up –,” Seunghyun interrupts himself laughing – “what happened – his ex – his ex bought him a shirt and wrapped it up nice and gave it to him and watched him open it...and...it said ‘Single and Ready to Mingle’.” He wipes a tear from his eye and realizes that Daesung doesn’t seem to find this story nearly as amusing as Seunghyun. “Well – I can’t tell it as good as he can.”

"No, no, that’s great. And how long ago was that?"

"Like...three months?" Three months sounds both too short and too long; it feels like he's been talking to Jiyong forever, and it feels like no time has passed at all since he first heard his voice.

"Uh-huh," Daesung says. He leans against the wall of the enclosure over the subway steps. "So when are you gonna ask him out?"

"What? No, it's not like that!" Seunghyun says quickly.

"Well...is he single?"

Seunghyun has no interest in admitting that this is a question that has preoccupied him greatly over the last few months. "I think so," he says. "He definitely didn’t get back with his ex, and he never said anything about someone new... He talks about doing stuff with friends, and he lives with his sister, but he never mentions dates or anything. Not that it matters," he adds hastily.

"Does he like guys?"

Seunghyun knows he's blushing now. "I mean...the ex he was trying to call was an ex-boyfriend."

"Mmmm!" Daesung hums triumphantly.

"It doesn't matter!" Seunghyun insists. "We're just friends. He doesn't think of me like that. And I don't –" He fumbles his attempt to end the sentence convincingly.

"You know it would be okay if you did, right? It would be okay to like him?" Daesung asks, his tone gentle now.

"I know," Seunghyun sighs.

"Just because you dated one asshole doesn't mean all guys are terrible and you can never date anyone ever again."

"I know," Seunghyun repeats.

"So..."

"Listen, Daesungie, it's not going to happen, okay? We're just...we're so different. We've never even met in real life. I don't think he wants to. It's just like...a fun escape for him, you know? To talk to someone completely new? And he's so... He's just not interested. Trust me."

Daesung doesn't look too impressed, but he shrugs and says. "All right; whatever you say. Now go catch your train so you can facetime your 'friend'."

---

"I wanna fuck him so bad," Jiyong moans.

Chaerin laughs so hard that her head goes out of the frame and all Jiyong can see is her left shoulder and half her throat.

Jiyong's a little miffed by her glee. "Is it really that funny?"

She pops back into view. "Is it really that funny that you want to fuck some guy you've never even met? That's what you're asking me? If it's funny that you want to fuck a dude you only know exists because you suck at dialing your phone? Yeah, it's kind of ridiculous. He could be a total creep!"

"He's not a creep," Jiyong says. "Maybe we've never met, but I know him. We've been talking for months! And anyway, I just found out we have a real-life connection. You know Kim Woobin?"

Chaerin cackles. "The dude who wants to have like, a thousand of your babies?"

"Yeah well, this girl he's dating, Shin Minah, she dated Seunghyun in like, high school or the beginning of college or something."

"Oh, Oppa... You didn't tell me he was straight. Now it's sad."

"He's not straight!" Jiyong snaps. "I mean, not definitely. Lots of people date guys and girls. I've dated girls. I mean, a girl, but still! And I talked to Minah and she said they were barely together at all. She said he's a sweet guy but they just didn't click. Okay? So we don't know his sexuality for sure just because he dated one girl for like five seconds when he was a confused teenager."

Chaerin's silent for a moment, digesting this. Then she asks, "Did she say how big his dick is?"

"She doesn't know. All they did was kiss."

Chaerin bursts out laughing again. "You asked her?"

"Not directly," Jiyong says with a shrug. "But I mean, obviously I was going to try to find out how far they went to help figure out how straight he is."

"Well, if he does turn out to be straight, I'll find out how big his dick is, okay?"

Jiyong's mouth falls open. "You will not!" he says. "Absolutely no way!"

"Aw, come on. Don't you want to know? I mean I feel like it’s pretty big, just from the screenshot of his face you sent me – I just sense it – but I want to know for sure."

"Are you kidding? Would you want me to sleep with someone you were in love with just to see how big his dick was?"

Chaerin blinks. "In love?" she repeats softly. Jiyong wishes now that they were on a voice-only call. Chaerin is peering at her screen with great intensity. "Love? Really?"

"I don't know," Jiyong says, averting his eyes. "I mean...I think about him all the time...and he makes me laugh a lot...and I tell him everything about my day...and I always want to hear everything about his day...and he just...makes me really happy?" It's terrifically embarrassing to be in love with someone you're not dating – someone who might not even be attracted to your gender – but Jiyong doesn't know what else to call these feelings, and he's never been good at lying.

"Wow. I thought you just wanted to fuck him." Chaerin says.

"Well, that's part of being in love, isn't it?" Jiyong starts chewing on his thumbnail, ignoring the flash of disapproval in Chaerin's eyes.

"Oppa...I don't want to be mean, but...do you think maybe your judgment's being clouded a little bit? Because he's so handsome?"

Jiyong shrugs. "I don't think so," he says. He almost wishes that was all this was – just animal attraction. (Seunghyun happens to be the best-looking guy he's ever seen.) That would be a little easier to deal with than these big, scary feelings that might not be reciprocated. "I wanted him before I even saw his face. Just from talking to him. I remember thinking I didn't even care if he turned out to be ugly." (Ugly would be easier to deal with too – less competition.) “And I haven’t slept with anyone else since we started really talking.”

"Damn," Chaerin says softly.

Jiyong is suddenly hot with embarrassment. "I don't know. I'll get over it."

“Well, maybe you won’t need to!” Chaerin says. “He could be gay! And if he is, I’m sure he likes you. Who wouldn’t?”

“Sometimes I feel like he does,” Jiyong confides. “Sometimes I’m sure he does. But other times…” Other times Jiyong makes comments that feel painfully obvious and Seunghyun brushes them off like the possibility of them dating has never crossed his mind. And it probably hasn’t. It doesn’t seem possible that someone as good-looking and sweet and funny as Seunghyun could like Jiyong. Even with everything they have in common; even with the way he lingers on their phone calls; even with the eager messages Jiyong gets from him throughout the day. He’s too perfect. Jiyong’s not that lucky.

“I guess I should’ve known when you had him saved in your phone as ‘Sexy Voice Stranger’,” Chaerin says.

“You should’ve known when you saw that and then you called him and I almost murdered you,” Jiyong says. If it’d been any other name in his contacts, he would’ve laughed it off, but even back then, when he and Seunghyun had only spoken a few times, Jiyong was already hooked. He was already intensely protective of their fragile connection.

“Listen, if he doesn’t like you, it’s his loss! You’re great, okay? You’re Kwon Jiyong! Do you know how many times I’ve watched guys try to pick you up and you just smirk at them and ruin their lives? You can handle the sexy voice stranger!”

“Thanks,” Jiyong says. He appreciates the sentiment, even if he doesn’t feel like it all that much right now. He doesn’t want to ruin anyone’s life. He just wants one dumb guy to like him back. “Listen, I’m sorry, but he’s going to call me any minute, so…”

“Okay, okay. I see how it is. Have fun with your platonic boyfriend.”

Jiyong rolls his eyes – exasperated, but mostly for show. “Bye Chaerinah,” he says firmly, and he waves before hanging up.

---

“Daesung’s your friend from college, right?” Jiyong asks.

“Yeah. We even lived together for a little while. I don’t get to see him too often anymore, though, so we try to get lunch together and catch up every few months.” Seunghyun leans back against his headboard, getting comfortable. There was a time when it felt funny to hold his phone up to his face and look at Jiyong like this, but now it’s almost natural.

“Aw, I’m sorry I interrupted, then,” says Jiyong.

“No, it’s all right; when you called he was just, uh, walking me to my stop.” Seunghyun is thrown off when Jiyong shifts his position and the neck of his shirt moves, revealing part of his shoulder and the hollow of his collarbone. “Are you cold?” he blurts out.

“Huh?” Jiyong glances down, then back at the camera. “No, I’m all right. Why?”

“Oh, I just, um...felt a draft. But I guess you didn’t feel it.” He laughs weakly. Fuckshitfuck. Why does he have to be so awkward? “Um, but I told him about your breakup t-shirt. I hope that’s all right. He thought it was really funny,” Seunghyun says, trying to move the conversation along.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Jiyong flashes him a brilliant smile, but it turns into a smirk. He sticks his fist under his chin and bats his eyelashes. “What else did you say about me, hmm?”

Seunghyun laughs. “Oh, all good things.”

“Did you tell him how cute I am?”

Seunghyun sincerely hopes the lighting in his bedroom is too dim for Jiyong to see the blush now spreading through his cheeks. “No.”

“No? Ah, you didn’t say ‘cute’. You said ‘sexy’, right?”

Fuck. Is his laughter hiding his nerves? “Nope, I didn’t say ‘sexy’ either.” This is flirting, right? This has to be flirting. Is Kwon Jiyong really flirting with him? He probably does this with everyone, Seunghyun tells himself. He just has a flirty personality; that’s all.

“So what did you talk about?” Jiyong asks, lowering his hand and leaning back against the wall behind him.

“Oh, uh…” Seunghyun reviews his conversation with Daesung, trying to come up with something he can tell Jiyong about: We talked about how you’ve dated at least one guy, whether or not you’re single, the likelihood that you’re attracted to me… “Um, actually, Daesung was saying he thinks we should meet up,” he finally says, and fuck, that was not what he wanted to say. “I mean, I don’t know, he was just surprised we hadn’t. He didn’t really get it. Our...um...how we talk. Our conversations.” Seunghyun rushes to explain himself, cringing as he does it. At least he managed to avoid saying ‘our relationship’.

“Oh,” says Jiyong. “Would you want to?”

Seunghyun’s heart is threatening to pound out of his chest. Are they really discussing this? After all this time? “I mean...I’ve thought about it. Haven’t you thought about it?”

“Yeah, of course. But...what did you think? When you thought about it.”

“I don’t know,” Seunghyun takes a deep breath. “It…” It would be so good to see your face in three dimensions. It would be so good to look you in the eyes instead of watching you watch me on a screen. It would be so good to have the chance to touch you. “It probably wouldn’t be that different from this, I guess.”

Jiyong’s face is very still. Seunghyun can’t begin to guess what going on behind his eyes. “It might be fun, though,” Jiyong says lightly. “You could show me those dance moves you’re always bragging about.”

Seunghyun forgets his anxiety for a moment and bursts out laughing. “You – asshole,” he sputters fondly. Jiyong has been teasing him about dancing ever since Seunghyun declared his hatred for it. “Is that what you want to do? Go dancing together?” He chews on the inside of his cheek, the anxiety back in full force. Could Jiyong possibly want that? It sounds like a date.

“Nah, I’m going dancing tonight,” Jiyong says.

“Oh,” says Seunghyun, trying to hide his disappointment. Does Jiyong have a boyfriend?

“So if we’re meeting up tomorrow, I don’t want to go dancing again that fast.”

“Tomorrow?” Tomorrow is real. Tomorrow is soon.

“Yeah. Do you have plans?”

“No.”

“Well, me neither. So why not?”

Why not? Seunghyun can think of a few reasons: Because you might not like me in person, because I might do something really weird and make you uncomfortable, because I’m scared, because I’m not ready to let go of what we have now. If he fucks up tomorrow, this could be their last real conversation.

But if he doesn’t fuck up… If he doesn’t fuck up, this might bring their relationship to a new level. And as frightening as that is, he wants it more than anything.

He takes a breath to steady himself. He’s doing this. “Okay,” he says, “you want to grab dinner?” Now that sounds like a date. Fuck.

“Um…” Jiyong chews on his lip, thinking. “Lunch would be better, actually. Can you do lunch?”

Disappointment sinks through Seunghyun’s stomach. Lunch is casual. Lunch is for friends. But friends is better than nothing. In person, friends get to touch sometimes.

They hash out the details of time and place, settling on a café near Seunghyun’s apartment and a one o’clock meeting time. Seunghyun keeps repeating where they’re going to meet, afraid he’ll forget because he’s so distracted thinking about Jiyong dancing with some gorgeous guy who’s actually good at it.

“So who are you going dancing with tonight?” Seunghyun finally asks. He can’t help himself.

“Oh, just some friends,” Jiyong says. “They’ll probably only dance with me for a song or two though. Then I’ll dance by myself for a while, then I’ll give up and we’ll all get drunk. That’s always how it goes.”

“That sounds fun,” Seunghyun says, considerably mollified. Jiyong said friends, plural. Even if it’s a double date or something, that doesn’t make Seunghyun quite as envious. It’s not like Jiyong will be giving all his attention to one person. Like he is with Seunghyun right now. Like he will with Seunghyun in the café tomorrow. Seunghyun sighs dramatically. “I’m so hurt you don’t want to see my dance moves, though,” he says.

“Why don’t you show me now?” Jiyong asks. “It will inspire me for tonight.”

“Really? You think you’re ready to see what I’ve got?” Seunghyun wags his eyebrows.

“Oh, I’m so ready. Show me.”

So Seunghyun gets off the bed and finds a spot on his dresser to prop up his phone. As he frames where he’s going to dance, Jiyong calls out, “Hey, wait! Don’t you need music?”

Seunghyun tsks. “Of course not. A true dancer always has music in his heart.”

“That is the corniest thing I’ve ever heard. I take it back. I don’t want to see you dance.”

“Too late!” Seunghyun says. He takes a few steps back, careful to remain in the shot, and then lets loose his best, silliest dancing. It involves a lot of butt shaking and jerky shoulder movements.

Jiyong falls to pieces laughing. When Seunghyun gets his phone back into his hand, Jiyong has collapsed on his bed, half his face out of frame, giving Seunghyun a look at his ceiling. His free hand is covering his mouth, and Seunghyun is overwhelmed by a powerful urge to reach through the screen and pull his hand away. Jiyong nearly always covers his mouth when he smiles big or laughs, but sometimes he forgets and Seunghyun is treated to his homely, joyful grin, his lips pulled back so far that his gums show.

Jiyong’s laughter is infectious and soon Seunghyun is giggling along with him. Whenever they manage to stop, they look at each other for a beat too long and start up again. Seunghyun can’t believe he’s going to have the opportunity to hear this laughter in person in less than twenty-four hours.

By the time the call ends, Seunghyun thinks he’s well and truly fucked. But he doesn’t know the half of it.

Seunghyun spends his Saturday night flipping through magazines, staring at pictures of furniture he’ll probably never be able to afford, and trying not to obsess over what he’s going to wear to lunch tomorrow. He’s just about to go to bed when his phone rings. It’s Jiyong.

Immediately his mind jumps to the worst possibility: Jiyong’s cancelling on him. Full of dread, he answers. “Hello?”

“Hi. Um, I’m just walking home – shit, how late is it? Did I wake you up?”

“No, it’s fine. What’s going on?”

“Um...I wanna ask you something.” Seunghyun is reminded of his first conversations with Jiyong and realizes he’s buzzed. “I, um – fuck!” There’s a scraping sound and a muffled thump.

“Are you okay?” Seunghyun asks, voice a little too loud.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I tripped but I’m okay. So…yeah, I wanna ask you...um...have you ever dated a guy?”

Seunghyun is stunned. This is not at all the direction he thought the conversation was going. Heat rises from his chest and lights up his face, but he doesn’t mind, because maybe this means what Seunghyun wants so badly for it to mean. “Yeah,” he says slowly, “I have.”

The line goes silent. Then Seunghyun hears the soft beeps of a passcode being punched into a door lock. “Okay. Well, I just wanted to know. So I asked.”

“Okay,” says Seunghyun. He doesn’t ask why Jiyong wanted to know, because he really likes this feeling that maybe Jiyong wanted to know because he wants to date Seunghyun. Seunghyun is aware, in the back of his mind, that it’s entirely possible Jiyong is about to try to set him up with some unfortunate friend. But that doesn’t have to be true right now, so Seunghyun just listens to the sounds of Jiyong entering his apartment.

“Okay, I’m home,” Jiyong says. There’s a beat of silence, and then, “Can I facetime you?”

“Sure,” says Seunghyun.

Jiyong’s eyeliner is smudged and his skin is blotchy from drinking and he looks beautiful. They lie in their beds holding their phones out, and it’s only because they’re both tired, but it almost feels like JIyong is lying in bed next to him. Somehow they carry on a normal conversation. They just fall right into it despite Jiyong’s initial question. Only Seunghyun keeps catching himself staring at Jiyong. And sometimes Jiyong will look back and they’ll just be quiet for a stretch.

Eventually Jiyong decides he has to wash his face and brush his teeth, and he doesn’t want to hang up but he doesn’t want to take Seunghyun into the bathroom either, so he leaves his phone on his bed and promises to be back soon. Seunghyun, with nothing to look at but the ceiling, starts to doze.

When Jiyong comes back, Seunghyun wakes to his voice and face and feels like he’s dreaming. “It’s you,” he mumbles.

“It’s me,” Jiyong agrees. In a move Seunghyun now recognizes immediately, Jiyong checks himself out in the bottom corner of his screen. He makes a displeased face and fluffs his hair, but then says, “Yah, I can’t believe you didn’t tell your friend today how cute and sexy I am.”

Seunghyun blinks, unable to come up with a response. He just feels warm and lazy and happy. He stares at Jiyong. Somehow in the haze of his sleepy brain, he realizes that Jiyong’s feeling self-conscious: his mouth is a straight line; his shoulders are slightly tense. So Seunghyun does the only thing he can think to do and tells the truth: “You’re really pretty,” he says.

Jiyong blooms like a moonflower. “Thanks,” he says. Then, gently, “I think it’s time for bed.”

“Okay,” says Seunghyun. “Good night. See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

Notes