American Casual

Julia rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll go over it again,” she said, turning back to the map board. “The tour starts in Boston, then goes to New York, Philadelphia, Orlando and Miami to wrap up the eastern seaboard.”

“But isn’t Miami a southern city?” Chanyeol asked.

“Can we please get through this one time without interruptions?” Jongin mumbled.

“We’re still going to Disney World, right?” Yixing asked excitedly.

“Yes, now hush,” Julia said sternly. “After Miami it’s Nashville, then Detroit, Chicago and Indianapolis. We’ll only spend a couple days in each of these cities, so just try not to get them mixed up.”

“I only did that one time,” Jongdae grumbled.

“From there it’s New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, Kansas City-”

“Why did they name their capital city after the state?” Chanyeol wondered aloud. “And why is Arkansas pronounced differently than Kansas?”

“Just… make a list of questions and I’ll answer them later,” she said tiredly. “Where was I? Phoenix will wrap up the Midwest, then there’s Vegas, L.A., San Francisco and-”

“Honolulu!” they all cheered, high fiving each other across the table.

“And Honolulu,” she said, shaking her head. “The tour will end there and you’ll return to Seoul in mid-June.”

“Don’t you mean we’ll return?” Baekhyun asked. “You are coming back with us, right?”

Julia glanced at Junmyeon, but he was deep in his notes and didn’t hear Baekhyun’s question. “Of course,” she said with a smile, “we’ll return in mid-June.”

Will I be coming back here? she wondered. Youngjun hadn’t discussed her contract after their tour, but Julia couldn’t think of a reason for them to keep her past that point. They’ve all learned so much, and they won’t need me once the tour ends, she reminded herself.

“Julia?”

She came back to herself. “Sorry, I was… thinking.”

“You said you’re from L.A., right? Does that mean you’ll bring your family to meet us?”

Julia hadn’t thought about that. It might be fun, and Mom will want to meet them anyway. “I’ll have to clear it with Youngjun, but it sounds fun.”

Yixing’s phone buzzed and he got up immediately. “Car’s here,” he announced.

“And that’s our cue,” Julia said, grabbing her purse. “I know you’ve all got plenty to do to prep for the tour, so don’t worry too much about lessons. Practicing with each other is the best thing you can do now.”

“You sound like a mom,” Chanyeol commented.

“You sound like him,” Minseok teased, giving Junmyeon a nudge.

Everyone laughed and Junmyeon glanced up at them. “Julia’s right, there’s plenty to do. Baek, I need you to-”

Yixing opened the door for her and they stepped out into the hallway. “I’ve never seen this side of Junmyeon before,” she said, shaking her head.

“You mean the bossy side?” he quipped. “He’s the band leader, so it’s on him to make sure the rest of us pull ourselves together. He’s gotten pretty good at managing everything, but there are times when I worry about his stress level.”

They took the elevator down to the ground floor and met Yoon Hee in the lobby. “Right on time,” she said, holding her phone to her ear. “You must be the interpreter.”

“Julia Park,” Julia offered. “You must be Yoon Hee. Yixing has-”

Yoon Hee held up a finger and started talking into her phone in rapid Mandarin. Julia looked at Yixing, but he just shrugged and nodded at the waiting car. “She’ll catch up,” he said, opening the door.

“Do you all have your own managers?” Julia asked.

“It depends on what we’re doing. There’s managers for the group, sub-units, solo stuff, acting, advertising, you name it. A lot of managers work with multiple members at once, or in multiple fields.”

They got into the car and Julia watched Yoon Hee pace back and forth in the lobby. “So Yoon Hee is your solo manager?”

“Correct,” Yixing affirmed, “but she used to work with Luhan too. She’s pretty forceful, which is helpful when you have a hard time saying no to stuff.”

Yoon Hee came out and got into the driver’s seat. “Sorry,” she said, “but that couldn’t wait.”

“Is everything okay?” Yixing asked.

“The director was wondering if you could fly back for some extra filming. What does he think, that you’re waiting by the phone for his call? Where are we supposed to find the time for something like that?”

“What is he wanting to film?”

“Something about last-minute executive changes. I told him you’re about to go on tour and the execs won’t sanction another trip to China right now.”

Yixing sighed and gave Julia a rueful look. “I feel bad for you, Julia. You’ve done such a great job teaching the other members, but now you’re stuck with me.”

“We’ll get you caught up,” she promised him, “especially since I don’t have to deal with any drama this time. I could tell you some pretty interesting stories from the last few months.”

“I may have heard some stuff,” he said with a grin, “but I promise not to be nearly so troublesome.”

“You studied the lessons I sent, right?”

“Every day.”

“Then I’m setting a new rule: from now on all our conversations must be in English. Think you can handle that?”

Yixing’s face fell and Julia smiled sympathetically. “You don’t have to be perfect, but it’s the only way to accelerate your learning. It would be a good idea for you to speak English with the others too, if you can.”

“But… ” he struggled to continue and she handed him a book. “Use this,” she instructed, “and if you get stuck, I’ll help you.”

Yixing turned the book over and scanned the cover. “Common English Words and Their Meanings,” he read. “I’ll… do my best, promise.”


******


Julia leaned close to the mirror and examined her face. After a week the swelling was gone and the bruise faded to a sickly yellow, but it was draining down her jawline in jagged streaks, which looked even more disturbing than the actual wound. At least it didn't scar, she thought optimistically.

Her phone buzzed and she picked it up off the sink. Jin had been insisting on getting her out more before the tour left, and after weeks of nagging Julia had finally given in.

Still on for dinner?

Of course! See you at eight.

She covered her bruise with a thick layer of makeup, then her phone buzzed again and she checked it as she headed into the living room. It was a selfie from Kyungsoo, who was wearing a thick pair of reading glasses and holding up his study guide.

Finally finished it! Proud of me?

Julia smiled. Does this mean you’re ready for a test when you get back?

He sent a crying emoji and Julia laughed. Maybe we can settle for a review, she replied.

There was a knock on the door and Julia tied her bathrobe more snugly before answering it. “Sehun? Is everything okay?”

“I just…” his eyes traveled down her robe and his cheeks pinked. “Sorry, you’re busy.”

“I’m just getting ready for dinner, but I’ve got some time,” she said, gesturing him inside. “What’s up?”

He brandished his study guide and she couldn’t help chuckling. “I see. Where are you stuck?”

He flipped over a few pages and pointed. “These words. I can’t seem to figure them out.”

Julia scanned the list. “Claustrophobic, anagram, iridescent, paraphernalia - wait, these are handwritten. Did you write these in?”

“These are words that I struggle with, so I write them down here so I’ll remember to study them later,” he explained. “I underlined the ones I still can’t get.”

Julia raised an eyebrow. “Sehun, where are you seeing these words? I don’t think they’re in any of the curriculum.”

He looked embarrassed and Julia realized her mistake. “I don’t mean it’s a bad thing,” she amended, “I’m just a little surprised, that’s all.”

Sehun sheepishly reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small paperback of The Great Gatsby. It had obviously been bought new, but many pages were dog-eared and she could glimpse notes scribbled in the margins. He’s been reading, she realized.

“I-I thought it would help me learn faster,” he said hastily, “unless-”

“It’s amazing,” she said, stopping him. “I’m touched that you’ve been working this hard, Sehun.”

His face brightened and he pulled out the list again. “So, can you help me?”

Julia checked her phone. “I have to get dressed, but you can read them to me and I’ll help you.”

She went into her room and left the door open a tiny bit so she could hear better. “What’s the first word?” she called.

“Par-paranod.”

“Paranoid,” she corrected, shedding her robe and putting on a light blue dress. “It means to be suspicious without reason. Try not to skip over that i. Next?”

“Incognehto.”

“Incognito. It means to conceal your identity.”

By the time she had fixed her hair and put on jewelry they had gone through every word on Sehun’s list, and Julia took one last look in the mirror before coming back out into the living room. “How do I look?” she asked, giving him a small twirl.

He glanced at his list. “Glamorous,” he pronounced proudly.

“That’s quite a compliment,” she laughed.

There was another knock on the door and she checked her phone. “Right on time,” she said, letting Jin inside. He saw Sehun and bowed almost automatically. “Mr. Oh,” he said respectfully.

“Have her home by eleven,” Sehun deadpanned on his way out.

Julia burst out laughing while Jin just stood there, looking dumbfounded. “Come on, I’m starving,” she said, pulling him out of the apartment.


******


“I’m back,” Chanyeol called, closing the door behind him, “and there better be food, because I’m starving.”

“There’s some sushi in the fridge,” Jongin murmured, his eyes glued to the TV.

Chanyeol laid his guitar case on the table and went to the refrigerator. “Have you been there all day?” he asked.

“Just got back, thank you very much,” he sniffed. “I’ve been working on my choreo since seven a.m.”

Chanyeol pulled out the sushi and flopped onto the couch just as Junmyeon came in. “Good, you're back,” he said, setting a suitcase on the table. “You should start packing.”

“Packing?!” Chanyeol exclaimed. “We don't leave for another seven days!”

“You know how these things get,” Junmyeon grunted. “We'll get so busy planning set lists and organizing stuff that we'll end up packing at the last minute, and I'm determined not to be stuck doing that this time.”

The door opened and Minseok and Jongdae came in, both sweaty and red-faced. “What's going on here?” Jongdae asked, gesturing at the open suitcase.

“Junmyeon’s getting a head start on the packing,” Jongin replied, turning up the volume on the TV.

Junmyeon put a hand to Minseok’s forehead and frowned. “You're a little warm, Min. How much exercising have you been doing? Jongdae, you shouldn't let-”

“Stop it,” Minseok said, batting his hand away. “I'm perfectly healthy, according to the doctors. I'm only warm from lifting weights.”

“Lifting weights!”

“Jun, it's been like two months,” Jongdae cut in. “Let the man live his life.”

The door opened again, this time letting in Sehun and Baekhyun. “Bumped into this one in the elevator,” Sehun said, elbowing Baekhyun in the ribs.

“How'd filming the variety show go?” Jongdae asked.

“Fine, though I wish someone had told me we'd have to dance,” he said, sitting down between Jongin and Chanyeol.

“You say that like you can't dance,” Sehun commented.

“That's not the point,” he said stubbornly. “I just would've preferred a little time to prepare, that's all.”

“When does it air?” Jongin asked.

“Don't know, probably next week,” he replied.

“How's Julia?” Junmyeon asked Sehun.

“Same as she was six hours ago,” he said, “though I forgot she had plans with Jin tonight.”

“Really?” Baekhyun said, perking up a little.

“Don't start,” Junmyeon warned him. “Let's just get through this last week without any new drama, okay?”


******


“Jin, I swear if you take one more picture-”

“But it's my job!” he insisted, snapping away. “You wouldn't deprive me of the chance to practice my craft, would you?”

He took several more and she put a hand over her face. “Do they have to be of me?” she complained. “I hardly look my best at the moment, and you've got one of the most amazing cities in the world to be your muse.”

She gestured out at the bustling square and sat down on an empty bench, but Jin sat beside her and kept snapping pictures of her. “Seriously, you've taken more pictures of me tonight than the last four months put together,” she said. “What's the matter with you?”

Jin finally lowered the camera and seemed to be struggling for words. “Are you okay?” she asked, putting a hand on his arm.

“I'm fine, it's just…” he looked out toward the square and sighed. “Seoul will always be here, but soon you'll be gone, maybe forever.”

Julia dropped her hand. “What are you saying?”

“Is SM keeping you on after the tour?”

She bit her lip. “I don't know,” she confessed. “With everything that's been going on, there hasn't been any real conversation, but… but I think so, yeah. There's other groups that they might assign me to, or I could even get work from other companies.”

Jin nodded and took a deep breath. “In that case, there's something I need to say, but please let me finish before you respond, okay?”

Julia felt uneasy, but nodded anyway.

“Thanks. Over the last few months, I've had the honor of getting to know you and become your friend. I've never had someone who I feel so easy with, or who doesn't only want me to benefit them somehow. You're an amazing person, but I didn't realize how much I truly cared about you until last week.”

Julia's breath caught, but she didn't interrupt.

“When I saw… when I saw what he did to you, it broke my heart and filled me with a kind of rage I'd never experienced before. That's when I realized that what I feel towards you goes beyond friendship. I think that one day, it could even turn into love.”

“Jin-”

“Please, Julia,” he said quietly. “I know you've been through hell and you're about to leave with the tour, but I couldn't say goodbye without telling you how I feel. I just had to know if there was any hope for me to hold onto while you're gone.”

Julia didn't know what to say, or even what she felt after hearing Jin’s declaration. She was afraid that if she looked into his eyes, she would cry and reveal the damaged skin under her makeup, so she just stared at his shoes while she thought it over. I don't even know where to begin.

On an impulse she reached out and took his hand, and as her fingers closed over his she felt a warmth spread out from her chest into her extremities. Maybe there's something here that I was too distracted to see, she thought wonderingly.

“Julia? Are you okay?”

She looked up at him and saw his eyes were misty, but his expression was hopeful. “You're right, Jin, this last week has been unimaginably painful,” she whispered, “but I wouldn't have gotten through it without you. I… I want to give you what you're looking for, but the timing couldn't be worse.”

“But you're not saying no?” he clarified.

“I'm saying… we should think this through.”

He nodded understandingly. “We don't have to decide anything until you come back to Seoul,” he promised. “We can use the time you're on tour to really think everything over, and we can discuss it once you come back.”

Julia squeezed his hand. “It's a date,” she said softly.

Jin grabbed his camera and snapped another picture of her before she could hide again. “Quit!” she exclaimed, smacking his arm.

“I've gotta get them while I can,” he returned with a grin. “This will be all I have until you come back.”

They walked down the sidewalk, still holding hands, and Julia leaned her head on his shoulder.

If I come back.

Notes